To friend request me, I wrote that people need to have a message. I will decline if they don't write anything. If you don't want to add them, then don't. There's nothing wrong with being selective in the friends you want

I just ignore it if there is no note and I don't recognise them from the forums or something. There be lots o creepers out there.

on the pic theme . . . nobody's bothered me yet :laugh: plus, i don't hang out much in the general forum so i'm under the radar, i guess.

i'd be a little bit wary myself. plus, i guess i'm a little bit social-networking challenged, and antisocial in a more general sense. i like to have a little bit of something in common with someone before i see the point of becoming a 'friend'. just being in the same general environment for the same general reason doesn't make much impression on me. it would be like someone asking you to be their 'friend' because you're on the same bus or something.

on the pic theme . . . nobody's bothered me yet :laugh: plus, i don't hang out much in the general forum so i'm under the radar, i guess.

i'd be a little bit wary myself. plus, i guess i'm a little bit social-networking challenged, and antisocial in a more general sense. i like to have a little bit of something in common with someone before i see the point of becoming a 'friend'. just being in the same general environment for the same general reason doesn't make much impression on me. it would be like someone asking you to be their 'friend' because you're on the same bus or something.

Amen.

definitely no message=no friend. and if it's the first time you've seen the username and there seems to be no reason.. why would you friend them?!

likewise feel free to go through and have a cull of people on your friendslist who you never interact with.. it's your fl, your rules!

I keep a small friends list. If you don't feel comfortable adding someone, male or female, don't. No shame in that.

I have only added one male, and then deleted him, because our goals were obviously different. I do interact with men on the forums though, because some of them can be a great resource for lifting information.

Yes, I never put an actual picture of me so that I don't get requests either... of course I'm also doing it because I wouldn't want someone I know to be able to identify me (work, family, friends, enemies, what have you). That seems super awkward to me. I don't mind if strangers know my weight and weight loss troubles but I don't need people I see knowing that stuff.

I personally find the content very different in tone and content to the other forums I use. I was struck by:-

- the popular assumption amongst many posters that women want to become healthy in order to appeal more to men.
- the assumption that women should choose gym clothes which make them sexually appealing to men.
- the prolific use of images which objectify women.
- the confidence with which some posters feel entitled to announce what they find attractive or unattractive in a woman as if it's interesting, important and not at all sleazy.
- the use of gifs, images and terms which ridicule women purely because they are female.
- the disparaging and often factually incorrect talk about mensuration from people who will never have a period in their life (and the rather bizarre use of euphemisms for mensuration).
- the celebrating of historically male pursuits such as weight-lifting and disparaging comments about activities such as zumba, treadmills etc.
- the use of emotive terms in a casual manner, e.g. use of the word "rape" to indicate repeated use.
- the constant referring to women as girls.
- women being told they shouldn't contribute to a thread, purely because they are female.

ETA: and when this challenged, there's surprise and a bit of a "Cool Girl" backlash.

:huh:

I personally find the content very different in tone and content to the other forums I use. I was struck by:-

- the popular assumption amongst many posters that women want to become healthy in order to appeal more to men.
- the assumption that women should choose gym clothes which make them sexually appealing to men.
- the prolific use of images which objectify women.
- the confidence with which some posters feel entitled to announce what they find attractive or unattractive in a woman as if it's interesting, important and not at all sleazy.
- the use of gifs, images and terms which ridicule women purely because they are female.
- the disparaging and often factually incorrect talk about mensuration from people who will never have a period in their life (and the rather bizarre use of euphemisms for mensuration).
- the celebrating of historically male pursuits such as weight-lifting and disparaging comments about activities such as zumba, treadmills etc.
- the use of emotive terms in a casual manner, e.g. use of the word "rape" to indicate repeated use.
- the constant referring to women as girls.
- women being told they shouldn't contribute to a thread, purely because they are female.

ETA: and when this challenged, there's surprise and a bit of a "Cool Girl" backlash.

this is a sub-forum for women who lift weights (just so you know)... I find the assertion that weight training is something for men and not for women to be sexist. I'm sure a lot of the other weight-lifting women here would as well.

I really enjoy weight lifting and hate stuff like zumba and treadmills. I also really enjoy rough sports like ice hockey, and when I used to play (back in the day) I played a very physical game, in defence, body checking people n stuff (and a few fights here and there).... does that make me unfeminine? Yep, by modern sexist standards.... but not by any biological reality.

Why is zumba considered feminine and weight training considered masculine? Because we live in a sexist society, that's why. Instead of complaining about the number of people here who like weight training (which include both men and women who actively encourage other women to take it up) question the attitude that weight training is for men. Because it's so good for health (for men and women (and anyone who's transgender too, for that matter)) and because.... .... .... .... women are supposed to be strong too. See my avatar - she's a forensic reconstruction of a woman who lived around 50,000 years ago. She had big muscles and needed to be very strong to survive. Women evolved to be strong. Humans evolved to be strong. Gender shouldn't even come into it.

Also, zumba and treadmills will not give you the kind of results in terms of physique that weight training will give you. That applies equally for men and women (although the hormonal differences between men and women mean that women and men don't get exactly the same results from weight training - women won't see the muscle size gains that men will) - that's a biological fact. There are some cardio haters on this forum, but you'll find just as many female cardio haters as male cardio haters, and that's not sexist at all because there's no biological reason why cardio is more for women than for men - both/all genders need to keep their heart and lungs and circulatory system healthy. Just as strength training/weight lifting increases bone density and strength for both men and women... if you want to get into a gender difference with bone density, women are more at risk of osteoporosis than men due to hormonal changes at/after menopause, so if anything, strength/weight training is a little bit *more* important for women than for men. I don't agree with anyone who's hating on other people doing cardio, because that's just silly. But it's not sexist.


ETA: I haven't seen most of the other stuff you mention... and some stuff, like "men only" threads are greatly outnumbered by "women only" threads - and no-one pays any attention to those requests anyway, no point making them. Put a "warning TMI" instead if you want to discuss menstrual cycles or something.

Also, a male ob-gyn quite possibly saved my life and the life of my 2nd child... I'm sure he knows a lot more about periods than I do even though he's never had a period himself... sexism against men isn't very nice either.