You Might Be a Keto Dieter if.....
DittoDan
Posts: 1,850 Member
On the lines of Jeff Foxworthy and his comedy skit called: "You Might Be A Redneck If....", I thought I would start a, "You Might Be a Keto Dieter if....."
You might be a Keto Dieter if, you are constantly pulling discarded food packages out of the trash so you can scan the label into MFP...
You might be a Keto Dieter if, people "correct you" when you tell them you are on a high fat diet...
You might be a Keto Dieter if, people give you a "double take" when you say you are on a high fat diet...
You might be a Keto Dieter if, you know what a "fat bomb" is....
You might be a Keto Dieter if, you know what the "Fat Head" video is on YouTube...
You might be a Keto Dieter if, you know who Phinney, Volek, Taube and Atkins are....
You might be a Keto Dieter if, being "Keto adapted" is a goal in your life....
You might be a Keto Dieter if, your macros get adjusted ever so often....
You might be a Keto Dieter if, you think carbs are evil and sin-like and to be avoided....
You might be a Keto Dieter if, you don't throw away your bacon drippings....
You might be a Keto Dieter if, LCHF is your WOE & WOL...
You might be a Keto Dieter if, ????
Help me add to this... :laugh:
Dan the Man from Michigan
You might be a Keto Dieter if, you are constantly pulling discarded food packages out of the trash so you can scan the label into MFP...
You might be a Keto Dieter if, people "correct you" when you tell them you are on a high fat diet...
You might be a Keto Dieter if, people give you a "double take" when you say you are on a high fat diet...
You might be a Keto Dieter if, you know what a "fat bomb" is....
You might be a Keto Dieter if, you know what the "Fat Head" video is on YouTube...
You might be a Keto Dieter if, you know who Phinney, Volek, Taube and Atkins are....
You might be a Keto Dieter if, being "Keto adapted" is a goal in your life....
You might be a Keto Dieter if, your macros get adjusted ever so often....
You might be a Keto Dieter if, you think carbs are evil and sin-like and to be avoided....
You might be a Keto Dieter if, you don't throw away your bacon drippings....
You might be a Keto Dieter if, LCHF is your WOE & WOL...
You might be a Keto Dieter if, ????
Help me add to this... :laugh:
Dan the Man from Michigan
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Replies
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Lol. I like this post.
You might be a keto dieter if adding butter to your coffee is normal.
You might be a keto dieter if funky smelling pee is a good thing.0 -
You might be a keto dieter if you make sure you take enough sodium.
You might be a keto dieter if you'd rather have an all egg yolk omelette than an egg white omelette.
You might be a keto dieter if you despise most vegetable oil and prefer to cook in animal fat
You might be a keto dieter if you argue often to people that fruits are not that healthy for you.0 -
If you laugh to yourself when reaching for full fat salad dressing/mayo/sour cream/cream cheese/yogurt while everyone else looks for low fat options.
:laugh:0 -
You might be on keto if you hoard all the butter packets at a dinner out while refusing to touch the rolls.
That one has weirded out some of my friends.0 -
As I wrote on my timeline yesterday...
... You might be a keto dieter if you attend church and you ask your husband to drink the grape juice at communion you your behalf!0 -
You might be a keto dieter if you waste bucket is littered with little sticks with purple tips!
Or your dog follows you everywhere because she knows you're the most likely person in the house to drop a meat scrap.0 -
You might be a keto dieter if you are researching or have purchased a meter to test your blood and you're not diabetic.0
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If you laugh to yourself when reaching for full fat salad dressing/mayo/sour cream/cream cheese/yogurt while everyone else looks for low fat options.
:laugh:
I know I do!!
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To Everybody
So far, wonderful additions to the list!!!! I agree with ALL of them. I tried to edit my original post to add them, but apparently you can only do that for a limited time. Maybe later I can compile them and post it again...
Keep them coming!
Dan the Man from Michigan0 -
... you've ever ended a story with the phrase, "And that's when I learned to never trust a fart."
... you've buttered a steak.
... you instantly put down a product if the words "low fat" appear on the label.0 -
:laugh:... you've ever ended a story with the phrase, "And that's when I learned to never trust a fart."
... you've buttered a steak.
... you instantly put down a product if the words "low fat" appear on the label.
Your first one...truer words never spoken. :laugh:0 -
You might be a keto dieter if...deviled eggs are a good breakfast.
You might be a keto dieter if your coffee looks like an oil tanker wrecked inside.
You might be a keto dieter if you have a large jar/container full of bacon fat in your fridge.
You might be a keto dieter if you order your steak with butter on the side.
Or maybe these are just me. I'm such a freak. :laugh:0 -
...you have no qualms with eating a spoon full of coconut oil or butter, straight.
...you want to throw your computer out the window when you have to do the "healthy choices" program for your insurance and it yells at you for your high fat intake, despite all your biomarkers being pristine.
...you cringe when your MIL talks about the program she's on and how they have her down to 1100 calories and she can't figure out why she can't lose weight/get off the diabetes medication (and you know the solution, but she won't listen).
...you get all giddy when bulk coconut oil (or butter) goes on sale.
...your local butcher thinks you're insane for the crazy things you ask for, but doesn't argue, because you've taken a few hundred pounds of pork and beef fat, among other strange things, off his hands.
...you spend more time/money in the meat and dairy sections of your grocery store than every other patron combined (if you go to the store at all and don't just buy from bulk sellers and butchers).... you instantly put down a product if the words "low fat" appear on the label.
or you didn't pick it up to begin with and went straight for the full fat version. :happy:
And! Your immediate response to seeing "low-fat" on a label is a disgusted cringe.0 -
You throw away half your lunch after logging it (before eating it) because you didn't realize how many carbs were in spaghetti squash.
You like the taste of coconut oil.
You know what Magnesium and Potassium (specifically lack of either) do for the body.
You order nachos at a restaurant but don't eat any of the chips.
Hmmm...know there are more so will have to revisit this!0 -
You might be a keto dieter if... you dip your meat in cream cheese.
You might be a keto dieter if... the amount of sugar in fruit makes you go eek.
You might be a keto dieter if... you drink all your liquor straight.
You might be a keto dieter if... your pee runs you out the bathroom.
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You might be a keto dieter if your dh offers you straight butter during the bread portion of your dinner out.0
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Dragonwolf wrote: »
...you want to throw your computer out the window when you have to do the "healthy choices" program for your insurance and it yells at you for your high fat intake, despite all your biomarkers being pristine.
OMG! I thought I was the only one! I dropped about 10lbs in a week and felt really good about it until the damned "healthy choices" program scored me at 87% because of my high fat intake. "You should add more fruits, vegetables, and GRAINS to your meals." HA! I think not!
Here's one I haven't seen:
You might be a keto dieter if you dip all of your food in melted butter.
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...if people think you're speaking in code when you talk about your macros, micros, HDLs, and LDLs.0
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... you drench your food in oil and cream without a second thought, but meticulously measure your VEGETABLES so you don't have TOO MANY!0
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Dragonwolf wrote: »...you want to throw your computer out the window when you have to do the "healthy choices" program for your insurance and it yells at you for your high fat intake, despite all your biomarkers being pristine.
That WOULD BE infuriating!
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... the most common name among your mfp friends is a variant tribute to their love of / obsession for / praise of BACON. And the most common profile picture is something flavored with bacon. You have gotten, or legitimately fear getting your bacon loving friends mixed up.0
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...you get upset because you forgot to pee on your stick.0
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You might be a keto dieter if... you go to an "all you can eat" pizza buffet and scape the toppings off and leave the crust....yes I did that!.....:)0
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... you drench your food in oil and cream without a second thought, but meticulously measure your VEGETABLES so you don't have TOO MANY!
Pwahahaha! Yup.... the most common name among your mfp friends is a variant tribute to their love of / obsession for / praise of BACON. And the most common profile picture is something flavored with bacon. You have gotten, or legitimately fear getting your bacon loving friends mixed up.
Oops. Sorry. LOL! I too have 3 other people as friends, maybe 4, with bacon names. You can bank my pic is going to be bacon or some kind of meat 99% of the time. Maybe it's time for a selfie?
These are all hilarious.0 -
You might be a keto dieter if... you go to an "all you can eat" pizza buffet and scape the toppings off and leave the crust....yes I did that!.....:)
Alternatively, you go to said buffet and only eat the stuff from the salad bar (or only go after the pizza, because the salad bar is pretty anemic and you needed the fat from the cheese/pepperoni/sausage to round things out).
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Dragonwolf wrote: »You might be a keto dieter if... you go to an "all you can eat" pizza buffet and scape the toppings off and leave the crust....yes I did that!.....:)
Alternatively, you go to said buffet and only eat the stuff from the salad bar (or only go after the pizza, because the salad bar is pretty anemic and you needed the fat from the cheese/pepperoni/sausage to round things out).
Cece's pizza will make you crustless pizzas, any flavor/topping but they dont taste nearly as good as the topping scraped off one of their pizza slices. I dont know why there is a taste difference but hubby and i tried it, and we went back to the regular pizza and leaving the crust. Very wasteful and I hated doing it especially since they wouldnt let us take our crusts home to our pigs but the flavor was so much better that way.
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...you take your butter when you go to friends to eat because you know they're "low fat" and only have glorified plastic. 0
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... You bring bags of freshly cooked bacon to work for your mid-morning snack to change it up from coffee with butter/coconut oil in it
... you eat pucks of fat regularly (AKA fat bombs)
... you make "stink" faces when you see people eating "lean cuisine" for lunches while they cringe as you wolf back 6 devilled eggs and some avocado
... you notice that your boogers smell funny when you blow your nose
... you roll your eyes at the people who bring their "healthy" low-fat yogurt and too-much-fruit smoothies for breakfast0 -
...you regularly leave the grocery store with at least three kinds of pork and a pound (or two) of butter.
...you ask for rain checks when butter/cream is on sale.
...you've outright stopped going to Dunkin Donuts in favor of homemade BPC (no matter how much you loved them before.)
...you've mastered the art of not rolling your eyes every time someone tells you fat is unhealthy. (Double true if you work in any medical related field.)
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