Jennifer10723 wrote: »

I am stomping my feet. But .. I want a relationship that is a partnership. Why is that so dang hard to find! Just because I am the girl in the relationship doesn't mean that I am your caregiver. I don't want the old fashioned let me make you dinner and iron your **** relationship.

I just want someone who wants to do stuff with me and love me and have loads of sex with me. Who WANTS to come home to me.

I am tired of being alone. My last relationship he lived almost an hour away from me and it was hard to see him. I always had to drive there .. even tho I was the one with the kid. I always had to pick up food on the way. I always had to suggest something to do. Over it.

Grrrrrrrrr. I don't want to go through the whole dating online thing .. that was a lot of work!

sigh. lol

Deffanately NOT alone. That's all I want too.. don't understand why its so hard to freaking find!! Lol but you said it exactly how I say it to people.

I am so tired of being single. I would love to find someone and a relationship in which we compliment each other. I have been single for so long it is ridiculous. My last relationship was over 3 years ago....and he was an *** who cheated on me. I have been doing the online thing trying to find people, but that's not working either. Sometimes I think that I should just lower my standards to see what happens. But, then I remember that I have standards for a reason and I have always been told that as soon as you stop looking that's when everything happens, when you least expect it. So even though as hard as that is, I think that if I focus on myself, rather than a relationship, maybe someday when I'm not looking, it will happen.

I've always been off and on in my dating life. I dated some in high school and college, but then I had a crummy relationship (he was dating both me and my roommate for an entire year and telling each of us that the other was just a "friend") and I really gained weight so I swore off dating from age 19-29. I dated a few guys over the next 5 years and some of them were longer relationships, but it's been 2 years since the last one ended and a year and a half since I've even tried dating. I keep telling myself that it's good to take a step back, but honestly it's because I never seem to meet guys that are interested in me romantically or that I'm intrigued enough to try. I also feel at a real disadvanatge because of those gaps in dating. I have less dating and relationship experience than a lot of guys who are 10 years younger than me

amalley71 wrote: »

I think well if i was thinner or prettier but then i think... then he will just want me for physical reasons and i don't want that either. When something prettier comes along he'll be gone.

^^^This is my biggest fear about getting back into the dating scene. I once had an ex who saw a picture of me at my heaviest and told me point blank that he would never have even started a conversation with me if I'd still looked like that when we met.

thadenge wrote: »

Yikes is that why he is an ex now??? I guess you have to give him some small amount of credit for honesty, but still...

Actually, no it's not. He's an ex for other reasons but I have noticed a huge difference in how guys treat me based on weight. When I'm over 220, I become the invisible woman and instantly in the friend zone.
On one hand, I almost don't want to get involved with somebody who wasn't attracted to me when I was heavier, because that just seems so superficial to me. But on the other hand, I still have not met a single guy who has been attracted to me when I was over 220. There was even one guy who I started dating when I weighed about 210 and over the 10 months we were together I gained almost 30 pounds (because he's a guy and ate enormous servings and would give me the same amount of food even when I asked for half) and I'm pretty sure the weight gain was a huge factor in why he dumped me.
Sorry for such a long response, it's a bit of a tender subject for me.

photo_kyla wrote: »

Actually, no it's not. He's an ex for other reasons but I have noticed a huge difference in how guys treat me based on weight. When I'm over 220, I become the invisible woman and instantly in the friend zone.
On one hand, I almost don't want to get involved with somebody who wasn't attracted to me when I was heavier, because that just seems so superficial to me. But on the other hand, I still have not met a single guy who has been attracted to me when I was over 220. There was even one guy who I started dating when I weighed about 210 and over the 10 months we were together I gained almost 30 pounds (because he's a guy and ate enormous servings and would give me the same amount of food even when I asked for half) and I'm pretty sure the weight gain was a huge factor in why he dumped me.
Sorry for such a long response, it's a bit of a tender subject for me.

Nothing to apologize for, I can understand how it would be a tender subject. I do understand it from both sides I guess. I know I didn't get "noticed" either when I was up around 220 (funny thing to me is that I look SO much younger without the weight...that was an unexpected benefit...first thing I get when I talk about my grandson now is "you're not old enough to be a grandparent!"). On the other hand, weight and everything else involved in how somebody looks are so superficial and unimportant in the grand scheme of things. Like I said I, like almost everyone else, notices how somebody looks...it's dishonest to say we don't, but on the other hand my (now) ex-wife was heavier than I was and it didn't stop me from dating and eventually marrying her (oh how I wish it had...or something had...that was 7 years of my life I'm not getting back!).

And honestly I can't even imagine dumping someone I'd been dating because they put on weight or it even being a factor. Hate to be judgmental but I have to say, any guy that would do that wasn't worth your time or effort anyhow.

I am sure most everyone that is single is tired of it and wants to find that special someone. i can agree to everything most of you has said 100%. i decided i wanted to be 100% happy with myself before i give any percentage of myself to any man. and i am about 90% there hearing in one of your previous posts you used POF made me giggle. i met my ex of two years on there, have tyet to check that site back out lol. i wanna give a shout out to everyone focusing on their goals first we got this!