Any of you ever been told this?
sdado1013
Posts: 209 Member
I am female just under 5'4" and 26 years old.
SW: 144
CW: 136
GW: 125
I have been told by several people things like: "you don't need to lose weight" (my mom said this), "you are in great shape" ,"please dont lose weight" (one of my trainers said this) ect. But reality is that 144 lbs was the most I ever weighed and I was finding that none of my summer shorts fit ect and just not feeling great in my skin like I used to feel and definitely didn't want to keep gaining weight.
So I joined a 100 day fitness challenge at my gym and I am competing for strength/endurance challenge which takes into consideration body fat % lost and increase in reps on various weight machines (lat pull down, bench press, leg curl arm curl etc).
I get that they are trying to complement me (like my mom) or some other people that have more to lose than I do. ( I also have felt some negative vibes coming from of the heavier gals in the program and makes me feel less included in the "team" aspect of the program). But sometimes it irritates me and doesn't feel very supportive of my personal goals. sometimes I feel like "its none of your business whether I feel like I need to lose weight or not!". anyways I just wanted to see if any of you "not-that-heavy" girls ever get told this or feel the same way as I do.
SW: 144
CW: 136
GW: 125
I have been told by several people things like: "you don't need to lose weight" (my mom said this), "you are in great shape" ,"please dont lose weight" (one of my trainers said this) ect. But reality is that 144 lbs was the most I ever weighed and I was finding that none of my summer shorts fit ect and just not feeling great in my skin like I used to feel and definitely didn't want to keep gaining weight.
So I joined a 100 day fitness challenge at my gym and I am competing for strength/endurance challenge which takes into consideration body fat % lost and increase in reps on various weight machines (lat pull down, bench press, leg curl arm curl etc).
I get that they are trying to complement me (like my mom) or some other people that have more to lose than I do. ( I also have felt some negative vibes coming from of the heavier gals in the program and makes me feel less included in the "team" aspect of the program). But sometimes it irritates me and doesn't feel very supportive of my personal goals. sometimes I feel like "its none of your business whether I feel like I need to lose weight or not!". anyways I just wanted to see if any of you "not-that-heavy" girls ever get told this or feel the same way as I do.
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All. The. Time.
I'm closer to 5'7", I'm 131lbs, which is a healthy weight for my age, but it's ALL around my middle and makes me feel uncomfortable. I'm much more comfortable (and can wear whatever I want!) at the very bottom of what's considered my healthy weight range (though I plan to build back up with weight training after I reach my goal weight).
I wouldn't dare let anyone know I'm trying to trim down, because I'd get all the same comments you mention. Funnily enough, it's always from people who look like (and I hate to sound mean, but) they could stand to shed a few pounds and make healthier lifestyle choices.
The only ones that are ever supportive are people who are in my same situation, but they are few and far between.0 -
I am female just under 5'4" and 26 years old.
SW: 144
CW: 136
GW: 125
I have been told by several people things like: "you don't need to lose weight" (my mom said this), "great shape" ,"please dont lose weight" (one of my trainers said this) ect. But reality is that 144 lbs was the most I ever weighed and I was finding that none of my summer shorts fit ect and just not feeling great in my skin like I used to feel and definitely didn't want to keep gaining weight.
So I joined a 100 day fitness challenge at my gym and I am competing for strength/endurance challenge which takes into consideration body fat % lost and increase in reps on various weight machines (lat pull down, bench press, leg curl arm curl etc).
I get that they are trying to complement me (like my mom) or some other people that have more to lose than I do. ( I also have felt some negative vibes coming from of the heavier gals in the program and makes me feel less included in the "team" aspect of the program). But sometimes it irritates me and doesn't feel very supportive of my personal goals. sometimes I feel like "its none of your business whether I feel like I need to lose weight or not!". anyways I just wanted to see if any of you "not-that-heavy" girls ever get told this or feel the same way as I do.
Yes!
I am 5'3" (or 1.60mts.) And 143.4 is the most ive been at , now feb2015. I am a 41 years old female and I moved to the USA 3 years ago. I was 115 when I moved to the USA. So I joined mfp now to start eating and drinking healthier and to start moving more (this has been the hardest for me). I gained all those pounds here in the USA because after I moved here I started making poor eating and drinking choices and moving less (walking). I totally understand you and I feel like you feel when I get those empathyless comments.0 -
Yep. All rings true with me as well. Highest weight was 155. I'm 5'4. CW 125 and holding for the last three months. I'm 45 and have never felt better! It's frustrating to hear those comments, but I'm glad I didn't listen to any of them!0
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I am female just under 5'4" and 26 years old.
SW: 144
CW: 136
GW: 125
I have been told by several people things like: "you don't need to lose weight" (my mom said this), "you are in great shape" ,"please dont lose weight" (one of my trainers said this) ect. But reality is that 144 lbs was the most I ever weighed and I was finding that none of my summer shorts fit ect and just not feeling great in my skin like I used to feel and definitely didn't want to keep gaining weight.
So I joined a 100 day fitness challenge at my gym and I am competing for strength/endurance challenge which takes into consideration body fat % lost and increase in reps on various weight machines (lat pull down, bench press, leg curl arm curl etc).
I get that they are trying to complement me (like my mom) or some other people that have more to lose than I do. ( I also have felt some negative vibes coming from of the heavier gals in the program and makes me feel less included in the "team" aspect of the program). But sometimes it irritates me and doesn't feel very supportive of my personal goals. sometimes I feel like "its none of your business whether I feel like I need to lose weight or not!". anyways I just wanted to see if any of you "not-that-heavy" girls ever get told this or feel the same way as I do.
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People will always try to tell you not to accomplish your goals, for whatever reason, but it's really to take the heat off themselves (not sure what's up with your trainer). Just like when people tell me I shouldn't run because it's bad for your knees and you can die from running a mrathon. You can also die from NOT running, and sitting on the couch is terrible for your joints. 125 for your hight is a realistic and healthy goal, as long as you reach it in a healthy way.
People have always told me I don't need to lose weight, that I'm tiny. 20-30 pounds ago I was out of shape. I'm in shape now. I've been skinnier and less healthy. I've been bigger and still really toned. I'm at my goal weight. I have muscle tone and energy and I love the way my tight jeans look and feel.0 -
Yep. All rings true with me as well. Highest weight was 155. I'm 5'4. CW 125 and holding for the last three months. I'm 45 and have never felt better! It's frustrating to hear those comments, but I'm glad I didn't listen to any of them!
I'm 36 and have never felt better, you couldn't pay me to go back to my twenties, and I look forward to 45.0 -
Yep - same problem with me - I am 5'4 and weigh 64 kg (Australian sorry lol) I am at least 4kg over weight and feel horrible for it! When I told someone today I was watching my calories they almost had a heart attack !!! I feel it is all relative to what you are used to and how you feel!0
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oh yep. by mother and boyfriend complain that i don't eat but in reality i probably eat more than them i just eat natural organic super healthy foods whilst they are tucking into huge plates of pasta and other foods lacking nutrition.0
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Yes! People say that all the time. I'm 5'9" and started out at 183. My family told me then that I don't need to lose weight and there's no way I weigh that much. I knew they were trying to save my feeling and protect me... at one point in my life, my sister said I looked so skinny that it scared her. After promising I'd be smart and not just see how low I could get the scale, I went ahead and started losing.
I'm at 160 right now and have 10-15 more pounds to lose. My family is saying again that I don't need to lose any more and that I'm the thinnest they've seen me in a long time. My husband is supportive and knows I'm being smart. It is frustrating to hear that from everyone though... it's my body, my business, and my clothes I want to fit into. As long as I'm not risking my health, I just wish they'd keep their opinions to themselves. It's ironic that they're trying to protect my feelings, but they're actually shaking my fragile, newly discovered confidence and self-esteem.
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I get told this all the time by my friends and family, I know I'm not in horrible shape, but when I think of my clothes and how tight they are now, it makes me want to loose it anyways.0
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I hear it as well. I weigh 145-150 lbs (it varies from day to day) , I don't look that heavy , so people don't believe it when I tell them my weight , because I lift weights. The problem is , my trainer wants my body fat percentage down. Usually , the people who tell me I need to gain , and not lose are the very people who need to be exercising and losing themselves. People who don't want to be forced out of their comfort zone , will try to keep you from bettering yourself , all in order to not have to raise the expectations on themselves. The way clothing stores merchandise the sizes here in the USA , we are cornered by conflicting tags on clothing. One item may fit well in a size 8 , while another manufacturer may size it to where I have to go as high as a size 14! No wonder we have diet issues. Women in the Phillipines , China , ect where most of the clothes are now made , creates even more confusion. When we see a size 3 or 4 , it makes us feel even more pressured to lose weight. For those too young to remember the late singer Karen Carpenter , google her , perfect example. At the end of the day , you have to live in YOUR body , I closely look at other people and their lifestyle before I accept their fitness advice - if they cannot out last me in a cardio kickbox class , I dismiss what they say because they are not in a position to tell me what I should weigh. Just know you are not alone here
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I get this constantly from my boyfriend. I know he says it out of love, so I try not to let it bother me. He's usually really supportive and involved with making healthy meals and exercise, so it's not a huge deal. I think that often when our friends and family says stuff like this, they aren't saying it to try to strop us from chasing our goals or anything, it's just because they love you the way you are, and don't want you to feel negative about yourself.
I just like to remind myself that there's a big difference between needing to lose weight, and wanting to loose weight. There's nothing wrong with doing something just because you want to. 0 -
It's so nice to hear this and see that I'm not alone. Do it for yourself and try to ignore what others say and realize it's probably out of love or insecurity. As long as you're healthy, keep trucking away.0
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It's so annoying! There's a difference between being thin and being healthy, and I want to be healthy0
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iamaprincessx wrote: »oh yep. by mother and boyfriend complain that i don't eat but in reality i probably eat more than them i just eat natural organic super healthy foods whilst they are tucking into huge plates of pasta and other foods lacking nutrition.
So annoying!
I used to have a large friend who would talk about how slim I was vs how she couldn't lose weight, all while piling her plate with a mountain of food, while mine would have moderate portions. Well, of course she was overweight. Anyone would be eating like that! It would irritate me to no end because she would imply that I was naturally slim, while she was naturally fat. It wasn't that I didn't want more, I just made a choice. . .
Actually, it is rude to comment negatively on another person's weight , one way or the other. Even when I am paying a compliment, I try to be very careful. I try to say something like "you are looking great! You must be really focusing on being healthy" and even that can be a slippery slope.
When I first lost weight here on MFP (and at my highest I was most definitely overweight--156 lbs on 5'2" is getting pretty close to the obese category), I had more than one person ask if I had been sick or something! Like it is abnormal to want to be thin!0 -
thanks everyone for your input! its great to hear how I am not alone 0
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I haven't heard it in a while, but I know if I get to where I want to be, it's coming. Those kind of comments are part of the reason I put weight back on! I remember distinctly my stepmother (whom I love, she's a really sweet woman) telling me I looked sick, and a friend accusing me of being bulimic when he saw me wolf down a plate of Chinese food (never mind that I had run 6 miles that afternoon and was famished!) I think that's a big part of what has kept me from being the size and weight I want to be. Those comments came when I was in the middle of the normal weight range (a BMI of around 20-21!)
I have learned that I have to listen to myself and stop heeding the comments of other people. I think also that people get used to seeing you one way, and if you change that, even if it's good for you, they have to adjust to it.0 -
Happens to me too...my bmi is 22.something. i'm also concealing some of my efforts so that I don't get discouraged.0
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I feel the same as all you girls!!! I just tell people I'm working out to be the healthiest me I can be, and because I wanna fit back into my skinny jeans. And not have to buy all new bigger ones. That will usualy shut the negative comments down. Then I change the subject. Just because we are not "big" dose not mean we can't get in shap or loose weight!!! People can be just as mean to non "big" girls as they are to the heaver ones
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I hear the same things and it's discouraging. Honestly, it makes me wonder if there's something wrong with me for wanting to be healthier or thinner.0
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vanillaorange2 wrote: »I feel the same as all you girls!!! I just tell people I'm working out to be the healthiest me I can be, and because I wanna fit back into my skinny jeans. And not have to buy all new bigger ones. That will usualy shut the negative comments down. Then I change the subject. Just because we are not "big" dose not mean we can't get in shap or loose weight!!! People can be just as mean to non "big" girls as they are to the heaver ones
Ah ! That's my answer too ! I was to meet a few friends at a bar recently, and they questioned why I did not want to go eat with them before (they were going to a burger joint). I had to tell them: "well, I don't fit in my suits anymore (Note: being a lawyer, I absolutely need them). Do you have like 1500$ to give me so I can buy 5 new suits ?"
Awkward silence ensued.
That was it. Now I have some family functions coming in March, and I really don't want to go... :-(
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I am female just under 5'4" and 26 years old.
SW: 144
CW: 136
GW: 125
I have been told by several people things like: "you don't need to lose weight" (my mom said this), "you are in great shape" ,"please dont lose weight" (one of my trainers said this) ect. But reality is that 144 lbs was the most I ever weighed and I was finding that none of my summer shorts fit ect and just not feeling great in my skin like I used to feel and definitely didn't want to keep gaining weight.
So I joined a 100 day fitness challenge at my gym and I am competing for strength/endurance challenge which takes into consideration body fat % lost and increase in reps on various weight machines (lat pull down, bench press, leg curl arm curl etc).
I get that they are trying to complement me (like my mom) or some other people that have more to lose than I do. ( I also have felt some negative vibes coming from of the heavier gals in the program and makes me feel less included in the "team" aspect of the program). But sometimes it irritates me and doesn't feel very supportive of my personal goals. sometimes I feel like "its none of your business whether I feel like I need to lose weight or not!". anyways I just wanted to see if any of you "not-that-heavy" girls ever get told this or feel the same way as I do.
I'm so glad all of you have this problem! I'm 5'4 and 145 and everyone I work with say they are mad that I'm trying to tone up and lose weight because I don't need to. The fact is I have always been around 120 and since I got married 9 months ago I've put on weight and I'm not comfortable with that and I have let myself get out of shape!
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I can definitely relate to this. At 48 years old, I'm 5'1.5" and 145 pounds and I look and feel like a beached whale but you can't tell because I am skinny fat. Everyone THINKS I am in great shape and they tell me I have a nice body but they don't know the fat that is hiding underneath those clothes. LOL
Yeah, I just disregard the comments from the bigger, unhealthy people. They just want me to stay in their club. When the comments come, I just tell myself, "Consider the source." I never get comments about not needing to lose weight from healthy, fit, normal weight range individuals.0 -
I can totally relate to this big time... I was born into a family of five that have obesity problems. I've always been the odd ball in the family (the smallest, thinnest) being that I've always weighed at 105 at 4ft'11 at the time, but that proved to be all wrong once I got pregnant I balloon up and swelled up to a good 200lbs!!! After pregnancy I weighed 160lbs and omg I felt and looked horrible, unhealthy, sluggish and tired all time. Being 4ft"11 tall the weights shows a lot I was actually in the obese category! So After 2 kids and 4 years later decided to get rid of the weight, got back down to a good 107lbs. Then after my 3rd pregnancy I balloon up again, now trying to loose the weight again, my CW is 118lbs trying to get back down to 105, the other day one of my sisters had mentioned to me that the last time I lost all the weight I looked like I was anorexic and a bag of bones (none of my ribs didn't even showed what so ever), and so did her boyfriend agreed with her too n I just gave them a ridiculous look like wow...seriously?! Wow... I was just at a lost for words, This is a man that gets turn on by women who can stand a soda can on their butt is judging me here.... I was just like whatever and shrug it off, and I do sense a lot of jealousy from my sisters, but I've tried numerous of times to get them on a diet plan with me, but they keep making excuses! They say they love food too much but yet they complain about their weight! Then they criticize me for being too skinny! I've been heavy at one point no two and I totally understand how hard it is and I love food myself, but the reality is it's hard work and no joke! No pain no game! I have 13 more pounds to go but I am feeling so much better, so healthy and more energy! And I have no intention of ever going back nor getting pregnant again! If they ever mention it again I'll take one of you beautiful ladies advices and let them know what my doctor thinks just to shut them up. I love them dearly but what I do with my body and health is entirely none of their business!0
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Yeah i hear it, but don't care what they think. All I know is i want to tone up for myself so i can feel comfortable in my skin and still be healthy and live activity for the sake of my daughters.
Do what makes you happy! That's the most important thing to keep in mind
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Lil_Northern_Light wrote: »Yeah i hear it, but don't care what they think. All I know is i want to tone up for myself so i can feel comfortable in my skin and still be healthy and live activity for the sake of my daughters.
Do what makes you happy! That's the most important thing to keep in mind
this is a great and position message, thank you! I am already feeling and looking great and finally proud when I look in the mirror again! if it makes me feel better than it really doesn't matter what other people think/say. 0 -
I think what annoys me the most is people who assume that people with slimmer figures are just that way "naturally." Female friends are always going on and on about weight and exercise and then one will turn to me and say "You don't need to worry about this stuff, do you?" I feel like that belittles me on two fronts - A. I exercise 5-6 x weekly and eat healthy homemade meals most of the time...it's not like I just magically look this way. And B. I think that reinforces the idea that "overweight" people are less happy with the way that they look than slimmer people. It's not like you hit a goal weight and magically go "I did it! I'm here now! Everything is great! I don't need to think about health or fitness ever again, wheeee!" And conversely, someone who was heavier might just love the hell out of their body (go them!) and not want to participate in endless diet/exercise conversations. And C. now that I think of it - skinny does not always equal healthy! I know people who are very thin, don't exercise, and eat crap. If I did that, my body wouldn't look so good, but everyone is built differently. Being slender doesn't mean that person is healthy at all. So yeah, when people are like "Why do you care about this stuff, you're already fit?" I just don't know what they're on about. I am fit because I care about this stuff, but also looks can be deceiving - a slim body doesn't mean a healthy one, a bigger body doesn't mean an unhealthy one!0
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lcsimpson17 wrote: »I am female just under 5'4" and 26 years old.
SW: 144
CW: 136
GW: 125
I have been told by several people things like: "you don't need to lose weight" (my mom said this), "you are in great shape" ,"please dont lose weight" (one of my trainers said this) ect. But reality is that 144 lbs was the most I ever weighed and I was finding that none of my summer shorts fit ect and just not feeling great in my skin like I used to feel and definitely didn't want to keep gaining weight.
So I joined a 100 day fitness challenge at my gym and I am competing for strength/endurance challenge which takes into consideration body fat % lost and increase in reps on various weight machines (lat pull down, bench press, leg curl arm curl etc).
I get that they are trying to complement me (like my mom) or some other people that have more to lose than I do. ( I also have felt some negative vibes coming from of the heavier gals in the program and makes me feel less included in the "team" aspect of the program). But sometimes it irritates me and doesn't feel very supportive of my personal goals. sometimes I feel like "its none of your business whether I feel like I need to lose weight or not!". anyways I just wanted to see if any of you "not-that-heavy" girls ever get told this or feel the same way as I do.
I'm so glad all of you have this problem! I'm 5'4 and 145 and everyone I work with say they are mad that I'm trying to tone up and lose weight because I don't need to. The fact is I have always been around 120 and since I got married 9 months ago I've put on weight and I'm not comfortable with that and I have let myself get out of shape!
This is me to a T. I am 48, 5'3 and 130 Lbs. Since getting married I have slowly put on weight. Even though my husband loves me the way I am, I know I will feel better about myself if I lose 10 pounds and build some muscle. I have started an office fitness challenge and the other participants give me grief about my efforts. I just plug along and ignore the comments. Hopefully, they will see the positive change and not dwell on the negative. Their choice, just like it is my choice to be healthier, thinner, more fit.0 -
yup, i get similar reactions frequently. i'm 5'8" and currently 150 lbs, which is a healthy weight for my height, etc. i would like to lose about 5-10 more lbs (i hit my heaviest last spring at 163 and freaked a little) just because 145 is a range that i always *felt* good at. strong, energetic, healthy, etc. i will say that although i have a part of me that vainly wants to tone up and have a killer body, i am more wanting to be and STAY healthy. although i am not overweight, i wasn't very active and i didn't eat well. i am working to be more consistent with this, and it will probably mean dropping a few lbs in the process. the biggest straw was realizing the health issues my mom has and how she (hasn't) made lifestyle changes that could help manage them better and not wanting to end up there myself.0
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Yep me to I am 166cm tall and weigh 59kg but I still have fat around my middle. People tell me I am skinny but apart from one friend who is really skinny 49kg all the others are overweight and the biggest offender is obese. I think they resent people who are a. Healthy weight, but when you see what they eat you know why they are overweight. Pizza and burgers are not on my food list. I am going to continue eating healthy and working out so that I can enjoy life when I get older and not spend all my time in doctors rooms like so many people I know do.0
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