You Might Be a Keto Dieter if.....
DittoDan
Posts: 1,850 Member
I originally ran this discussion on the Keto group last October. I didn't know about this group until recently. So I thought I would share some of the fun.
Below is a compilation of the original discussion and not attributed. If you would like to see who wrote what, see it here.
Enjoy and please feel free to add any!
Dan the Man from Michigan
You Might Be a Keto Dieter if.....
You might be a Keto Dieter if, you are constantly pulling discarded food packages out of the trash so you can scan the label into MFP...
You might be a Keto Dieter if, people "correct you" when you tell them you are on a high fat diet...
You might be a Keto Dieter if, people give you a "double take" when you say you are on a high fat diet...
You might be a Keto Dieter if, you know what a "fat bomb" is....
You might be a Keto Dieter if, you know what the "Fat Head" video is on YouTube...
You might be a Keto Dieter if, you know who Phinney, Volek, Taube and Atkins are....
You might be a Keto Dieter if, being "Keto adapted" is a goal in your life....
You might be a Keto Dieter if, your macros get adjusted ever so often....
You might be a Keto Dieter if, you think carbs are evil and sin-like and to be avoided....
You might be a Keto Dieter if, you don't throw away your bacon drippings....
You might be a Keto Dieter if, LCHF is your WOE & WOL...
You might be a keto dieter if adding butter to your coffee is normal.
You might be a keto dieter if funky smelling pee is a good thing.
You might be a keto dieter if you make sure you take enough sodium.
You might be a keto dieter if you'd rather have an all egg yolk omelet than an egg white omelet.
You might be a keto dieter if you despise most vegetable oil and prefer to cook in animal fat
You might be a keto dieter if you argue often to people that fruits are not that healthy for you.
You might be a keto dieter if you laugh to yourself when reaching for full fat salad dressing/mayo/sour cream/cream cheese/yogurt while everyone else looks for low fat options.
You might be on keto if you hoard all the butter packets at a dinner out while refusing to touch the rolls.
You might be a keto dieter if you attend church and you ask your husband to drink the grape juice at communion you your behalf!
You might be a keto dieter if you waste bucket is littered with little sticks with purple tips!
You might be a keto dieter if your dog follows you everywhere because she knows you're the most likely person in the house to drop a meat scrap.
You might be a keto dieter if you are researching or have purchased a meter to test your blood and you're not diabetic.
You might be a keto dieter if you've ever ended a story with the phrase, "And that's when I learned to never trust a fart."
You might be a keto dieter if you've buttered a steak.
You might be a keto dieter if you instantly put down a product if the words "low fat" appear on the label.
You might be a keto dieter if...deviled eggs are a good breakfast.
You might be a keto dieter if your coffee looks like an oil tanker wrecked inside.
You might be a keto dieter if you have a large jar/container full of bacon fat in your fridge.
You might be a keto dieter if you order your steak with butter on the side.
You might be a keto dieter if you have no qualms with eating a spoon full of coconut oil or butter, straight.
You might be a keto dieter if you want to throw your computer out the window when you have to do the "healthy choices" program for your insurance and it yells at you for your high fat intake, despite all your biomarkers being pristine.
You might be a keto dieter if you get all giddy when bulk coconut oil (or butter) goes on sale.
You might be a keto dieter if your local butcher thinks you're insane for the crazy things you ask for, but doesn't argue, because you've taken a few hundred pounds of pork and beef fat, among other strange things, off his hands.
You might be a keto dieter if you spend more time/money in the meat and dairy sections of your grocery store than every other patron combined (if you go to the store at all and don't just buy from bulk sellers and butchers).
You might be a keto dieter if you instantly put down a product if the words "low fat" appear on the label.
You might be a keto dieter if you didn't pick it up to begin with and went straight for the full fat version. And your immediate response to seeing "low-fat" on a label is a disgusted cringe.
You might be a keto dieter if you throw away half your lunch after logging it (before eating it) because you didn't realize how many carbs were in spaghetti squash.
You might be a keto dieter if you like the taste of coconut oil.
You might be a keto dieter if you know what Magnesium and Potassium (specifically lack of either) do for the body.
You might be a keto dieter if you order nachos at a restaurant but don't eat any of the chips.
You might be a keto dieter if... you dip your meat in cream cheese.
You might be a keto dieter if... the amount of sugar in fruit makes you go eek.
You might be a keto dieter if... your pee runs you out the bathroom.
You might be a keto dieter if you dip all of your food in melted butter.
You might be a keto dieter if people think you're speaking in code when you talk about your macros, micros, HDLs, and LDLs.
You might be a keto dieter if you drench your food in oil and cream without a second thought, but meticulously measure your VEGETABLES so you don't have TOO MANY!
You might be a keto dieter if you get upset because you forgot to pee on your stick.
You might be a keto dieter if... you go to an "all you can eat" pizza buffet and scape the toppings off and leave the crust....
You might be a keto dieter if you take your butter when you go to friends to eat because you know they're "low fat" and only have glorified plastic.
You might be a keto dieter if you bring bags of freshly cooked bacon to work for your mid-morning snack to change it up from coffee with butter/coconut oil in it
You might be a keto dieter if you eat pucks of fat regularly (AKA fat bombs)
You might be a keto dieter if you make "stink" faces when you see people eating "lean cuisine" for lunches while they cringe as you wolf back 6 devilled eggs and some avocado
You might be a keto dieter if you roll your eyes at the people who bring their "healthy" low-fat yogurt and too-much-fruit smoothies for breakfast
You might be a keto dieter if you regularly leave the grocery store with at least three kinds of pork and a pound (or two) of butter.
You might be a keto dieter if you ask for rain checks when butter/cream is on sale.
You might be a keto dieter if you've outright stopped going to Dunkin Donuts in favor of homemade BPC (no matter how much you loved them before.)
You might be a keto dieter if you've mastered the art of not rolling your eyes every time someone tells you fat is unhealthy. (Double true if you work in any medical related field.)
You might be a keto dieter if you have crawled through the refrigerator at the grocery store to see if they have any more heavy whipping cream in the back (because you just took the last 4 quarts and that's not nearly enough!)
You might be a keto dieter if your grocery list consists of cream, butter, and meat...and that's about it.
You might be a keto dieter if you've had more than one person in line behind you look or actually tell you that they're concerned for your health because of the contents of your shopping cart.
You might be a keto dieter if you've reached the point where 18 eggs/week is not enough.
You might be a keto dieter if if you buy cheese in 2lb blocks.
You might be a keto dieter if your boss gives you a strange look because your entire dinner is bologna and cheese rollups and peanuts.
You might be a keto dieter if ... when traveling for business, you pack coconut oil, an immersion blender, and vacuum-sealed fully cooked bacon in your carry on luggage. (Yes, I did).
You might be a keto dieter if you by 5+ dozen eggs at your every-other-week farmer's market trip, just to sustain your breakfasts.
Below is a compilation of the original discussion and not attributed. If you would like to see who wrote what, see it here.
Enjoy and please feel free to add any!
Dan the Man from Michigan
You Might Be a Keto Dieter if.....
You might be a Keto Dieter if, you are constantly pulling discarded food packages out of the trash so you can scan the label into MFP...
You might be a Keto Dieter if, people "correct you" when you tell them you are on a high fat diet...
You might be a Keto Dieter if, people give you a "double take" when you say you are on a high fat diet...
You might be a Keto Dieter if, you know what a "fat bomb" is....
You might be a Keto Dieter if, you know what the "Fat Head" video is on YouTube...
You might be a Keto Dieter if, you know who Phinney, Volek, Taube and Atkins are....
You might be a Keto Dieter if, being "Keto adapted" is a goal in your life....
You might be a Keto Dieter if, your macros get adjusted ever so often....
You might be a Keto Dieter if, you think carbs are evil and sin-like and to be avoided....
You might be a Keto Dieter if, you don't throw away your bacon drippings....
You might be a Keto Dieter if, LCHF is your WOE & WOL...
You might be a keto dieter if adding butter to your coffee is normal.
You might be a keto dieter if funky smelling pee is a good thing.
You might be a keto dieter if you make sure you take enough sodium.
You might be a keto dieter if you'd rather have an all egg yolk omelet than an egg white omelet.
You might be a keto dieter if you despise most vegetable oil and prefer to cook in animal fat
You might be a keto dieter if you argue often to people that fruits are not that healthy for you.
You might be a keto dieter if you laugh to yourself when reaching for full fat salad dressing/mayo/sour cream/cream cheese/yogurt while everyone else looks for low fat options.
You might be on keto if you hoard all the butter packets at a dinner out while refusing to touch the rolls.
You might be a keto dieter if you attend church and you ask your husband to drink the grape juice at communion you your behalf!
You might be a keto dieter if you waste bucket is littered with little sticks with purple tips!
You might be a keto dieter if your dog follows you everywhere because she knows you're the most likely person in the house to drop a meat scrap.
You might be a keto dieter if you are researching or have purchased a meter to test your blood and you're not diabetic.
You might be a keto dieter if you've ever ended a story with the phrase, "And that's when I learned to never trust a fart."
You might be a keto dieter if you've buttered a steak.
You might be a keto dieter if you instantly put down a product if the words "low fat" appear on the label.
You might be a keto dieter if...deviled eggs are a good breakfast.
You might be a keto dieter if your coffee looks like an oil tanker wrecked inside.
You might be a keto dieter if you have a large jar/container full of bacon fat in your fridge.
You might be a keto dieter if you order your steak with butter on the side.
You might be a keto dieter if you have no qualms with eating a spoon full of coconut oil or butter, straight.
You might be a keto dieter if you want to throw your computer out the window when you have to do the "healthy choices" program for your insurance and it yells at you for your high fat intake, despite all your biomarkers being pristine.
You might be a keto dieter if you get all giddy when bulk coconut oil (or butter) goes on sale.
You might be a keto dieter if your local butcher thinks you're insane for the crazy things you ask for, but doesn't argue, because you've taken a few hundred pounds of pork and beef fat, among other strange things, off his hands.
You might be a keto dieter if you spend more time/money in the meat and dairy sections of your grocery store than every other patron combined (if you go to the store at all and don't just buy from bulk sellers and butchers).
You might be a keto dieter if you instantly put down a product if the words "low fat" appear on the label.
You might be a keto dieter if you didn't pick it up to begin with and went straight for the full fat version. And your immediate response to seeing "low-fat" on a label is a disgusted cringe.
You might be a keto dieter if you throw away half your lunch after logging it (before eating it) because you didn't realize how many carbs were in spaghetti squash.
You might be a keto dieter if you like the taste of coconut oil.
You might be a keto dieter if you know what Magnesium and Potassium (specifically lack of either) do for the body.
You might be a keto dieter if you order nachos at a restaurant but don't eat any of the chips.
You might be a keto dieter if... you dip your meat in cream cheese.
You might be a keto dieter if... the amount of sugar in fruit makes you go eek.
You might be a keto dieter if... your pee runs you out the bathroom.
You might be a keto dieter if you dip all of your food in melted butter.
You might be a keto dieter if people think you're speaking in code when you talk about your macros, micros, HDLs, and LDLs.
You might be a keto dieter if you drench your food in oil and cream without a second thought, but meticulously measure your VEGETABLES so you don't have TOO MANY!
You might be a keto dieter if you get upset because you forgot to pee on your stick.
You might be a keto dieter if... you go to an "all you can eat" pizza buffet and scape the toppings off and leave the crust....
You might be a keto dieter if you take your butter when you go to friends to eat because you know they're "low fat" and only have glorified plastic.
You might be a keto dieter if you bring bags of freshly cooked bacon to work for your mid-morning snack to change it up from coffee with butter/coconut oil in it
You might be a keto dieter if you eat pucks of fat regularly (AKA fat bombs)
You might be a keto dieter if you make "stink" faces when you see people eating "lean cuisine" for lunches while they cringe as you wolf back 6 devilled eggs and some avocado
You might be a keto dieter if you roll your eyes at the people who bring their "healthy" low-fat yogurt and too-much-fruit smoothies for breakfast
You might be a keto dieter if you regularly leave the grocery store with at least three kinds of pork and a pound (or two) of butter.
You might be a keto dieter if you ask for rain checks when butter/cream is on sale.
You might be a keto dieter if you've outright stopped going to Dunkin Donuts in favor of homemade BPC (no matter how much you loved them before.)
You might be a keto dieter if you've mastered the art of not rolling your eyes every time someone tells you fat is unhealthy. (Double true if you work in any medical related field.)
You might be a keto dieter if you have crawled through the refrigerator at the grocery store to see if they have any more heavy whipping cream in the back (because you just took the last 4 quarts and that's not nearly enough!)
You might be a keto dieter if your grocery list consists of cream, butter, and meat...and that's about it.
You might be a keto dieter if you've had more than one person in line behind you look or actually tell you that they're concerned for your health because of the contents of your shopping cart.
You might be a keto dieter if you've reached the point where 18 eggs/week is not enough.
You might be a keto dieter if if you buy cheese in 2lb blocks.
You might be a keto dieter if your boss gives you a strange look because your entire dinner is bologna and cheese rollups and peanuts.
You might be a keto dieter if ... when traveling for business, you pack coconut oil, an immersion blender, and vacuum-sealed fully cooked bacon in your carry on luggage. (Yes, I did).
You might be a keto dieter if you by 5+ dozen eggs at your every-other-week farmer's market trip, just to sustain your breakfasts.
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Replies
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....if you ordered sizzling fajitas and tell them to keep/lose the tortillas, rice & beans.... (did this twice)1
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"you've reached the point where 18 eggs/week is not enough"
With my current average pushing 30... I am almost double that number. LOL
"you by 5+ dozen eggs at your every-other-week farmer's market trip, just to sustain your breakfasts."
Yep... actually gave a serious thought to buying 15 dozen eggs on my last trip. But, decided the 10/cent per dozen savings wasn't worth the risk that the last dozen might not be eaten before they go bad.0 -
...if you catch a whiff of your own breath and it reminds you your manicure needs a touch up.4
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These are great, I identify with nearly all of them!
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The trash digging for labels to scan .., guilty!1
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Yep, done lots of these.... agreed, trash diving esspecially0
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This has made me laugh giggle and chuckle. Love it0
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You'd think family could remember to stop throwing out the labels without asking if I've scanned them! Sheesh!1
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You might be a keto dieter if if you buy cheese in 2lb blocks.
You might be a keto dieter if you by 5+ dozen eggs at your every-other-week farmer's market trip, just to sustain your breakfasts.
I buy my Joseph's Farm Organic/Non-GMO Cheddar in 4 pound blocks, thank you! (Did before LCHF/Keto, too, because we eat lots of Mexican variations!)
I hope to find far more fun stuff at our Farmer's Market this year. So far my best finds have been black eyed peas and a boatload of fresh tomatoes I used to make a ton of salsa! I've never seen eggs/meats out there, so I'm going to be making friends with ALL THE VENDORS this year... I live in a smaller farming community, so I'm sure I'll find what I'm looking for. 0 -
I eat too many veggies to be keto but I definitely follow several of those, lol.0
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You might be a keto dieter if you've reached the point where 18 eggs/week is not enough.
You might be a keto dieter if if you buy cheese in 2lb blocks.
I've been buying cheese in 1 and 2 lb blocks ever since my preschooler started eating it. We eat a lot of cheese in my house! All of us (except the baby, who doesn't have any teeth yet) love it. I don't keep talking about eating all the cheese I want for nothing!
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...if you go to Burger King and confuse them by ordering a Double Whopper with cheese and bacon without the bun.1
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...if you go to Burger King and confuse them by ordering a Double Whopper with cheese and bacon without the bun.
I haven't really eaten out since I started this WOE (dead broke), but I can totally see me doing this!!!! Too bad I don't have a BK in town... Sonic or Braum's, though, yeah, I'd totally do this. 1 -
Yeah, any fast food restaurant, really. I just wrote that because it's what I did last weekend. They were very confused, asked me two or three times what I meant, and then gave me the entire burger anyway. I just pulled the bun off before I ate it, and let me tell you it was delicious. And I didn't feel like crap after I ate it like I used to with fast food. Was it the absence of bun, fries, or both?
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SO many of these!0
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Mami- I special order everywhere. My favorite is a burger with bacon and cheese and avocado, and then ask them to put a fried egg on top. Everyone just looks at me like I am crazy....and then say "wow that DOES look good" when it comes to the table. LOL1
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...if your co-workers give you funny looks when you pass up the donuts/cookies/cake at the office
...if you go 5 hours without eating and don't realize how much time passed.0 -
BetterBalancedMe2015 wrote: »Mami- I special order everywhere. My favorite is a burger with bacon and cheese and avocado, and then ask them to put a fried egg on top. Everyone just looks at me like I am crazy....and then say "wow that DOES look good" when it comes to the table. LOL
That sounds pretty good, although I'm a little sick of eggs from my lack of breakfast variety at present. But I adore avocado! I just wish I were better at picking them out at the store. I'm also very new to special order at restaurants, as I've only been at this WOE for about 2 weeks now and haven't eaten out much during that time. But you can bet your bottom dollar I'll be doing so in the future. I can't believe I can eat a great, filling, satisfying meal and not feel like poo afterwards! I'd like to keep that going if nothing else. The other day my husband asked me to help him carry a big screen TV upstairs (we live in a 2nd floor apartment), and normally I would have felt so lethargic right after eating dinner that I wouldn't have been able to do it, but I ate and we immediately went downstairs to get the TV, and I didn't feel gross at all. The one thing that might get me is the chips and salsa at Mexican restaurants. Ordering off the menu low-carb won't be a problem (fajitas without the tortillas, or a chile relleno), but those chips sitting in front of me...... *sigh*0 -
Sorry for rambling. It's a bad habit.0
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BetterBalancedMe2015 wrote: »Mami- I special order everywhere. My favorite is a burger with bacon and cheese and avocado, and then ask them to put a fried egg on top. Everyone just looks at me like I am crazy....and then say "wow that DOES look good" when it comes to the table. LOL
That sounds pretty good, although I'm a little sick of eggs from my lack of breakfast variety at present. But I adore avocado! I just wish I were better at picking them out at the store.
There was a chart floating about on facebook that shows if you pop off that bottom knob (t part that connects back to the tree, the colors under the "stem" thing show you how fresh/ready to eat the avocado is. I'll see if I can find it!1 -
KnitOrMiss wrote: »BetterBalancedMe2015 wrote: »Mami- I special order everywhere. My favorite is a burger with bacon and cheese and avocado, and then ask them to put a fried egg on top. Everyone just looks at me like I am crazy....and then say "wow that DOES look good" when it comes to the table. LOL
That sounds pretty good, although I'm a little sick of eggs from my lack of breakfast variety at present. But I adore avocado! I just wish I were better at picking them out at the store.
There was a chart floating about on facebook that shows if you pop off that bottom knob (t part that connects back to the tree, the colors under the "stem" thing show you how fresh/ready to eat the avocado is. I'll see if I can find it!
Only do this is you're going to eat it that day! They spoil without the stem, mold in an avocado ain't pretty. Also, the smoother and thinner the skin on a hass avocado the more flavor it has, when squeezing your thumb should feel like it's going to go in a bit, but then not be able to.
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So is that why I often buy avocados that already have black inside them? Someone popped off the stem part (or they are overripe)?0
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"you've reached the point where 18 eggs/week is not enough"
With my current average pushing 30... I am almost double that number. LOL
"you by 5+ dozen eggs at your every-other-week farmer's market trip, just to sustain your breakfasts."
Yep... actually gave a serious thought to buying 15 dozen eggs on my last trip. But, decided the 10/cent per dozen savings wasn't worth the risk that the last dozen might not be eaten before they go bad.
I was recently talking to my wife about this. I used to get raw milk and bread everyday on the way home before keto (sometimes some healthy fruits to go with that). Now when I call on the way I hear. .. "We ate out of eggs" about twice a week. Before keto I don't think I had ever been out of eggs.
@DittoDan
You may be a keto dieter if the first comment out of anyone you have not seen in over 6 months is "What happened to you?"
I get this at least 2 to 3 times a month.1 -
The problem I've found with avocados lately is they're deceiving. I know the tricks for checking under the stem, feeling how firm they are, going by color. They're supposed to be kept at temps either just above freezing or in the 40's, depending how ripe they are already. I get the feeling at some step along the way here, they're being frozen, then defrost and the outer 1/2 inch or so goes to mush (looks and feels ripe) while the inside is still hard as a rock. Some weeks I don't see that at all, then another week, half the ones I buy are like that.0
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BetterBalancedMe2015 wrote: »Mami- I special order everywhere. My favorite is a burger with bacon and cheese and avocado, and then ask them to put a fried egg on top. Everyone just looks at me like I am crazy....and then say "wow that DOES look good" when it comes to the table. LOL
That burger combination is usually called a nooner except hash browns replace the avocado. They are awesome. I guess you made the keto version!0 -
I've confused the people at burger king before. I walked up and asked for three patties. No, I don't want a triple burger. I just want three patties all by themselves. No toppings. No bun. Just meat.
You would have thought I was asking her to undress in public.0 -
I've confused the people at burger king before. I walked up and asked for three patties. No, I don't want a triple burger. I just want three patties all by themselves. No toppings. No bun. Just meat.
You would have thought I was asking her to undress in public.
I used to work at Wendy's and this type of thing never phased me. I always assumed there was a reason, so I just repeated it like any other order. But I also was raised by my grandparents to be open-minded, so I had a leg up! Although, I have to admit that opening the eyes of some of these kids is quite an enjoyable experience!
What's funnier is that I would do a variation when I worked there. I would get 4 regular burgers (cheaper than the bigger ones back when with employee discount), have them put it all on only one bun, and a single set of condiments... They usually just rung up the food and let me make it myself...0 -
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@octobubbles, that's great!! LOL0
This discussion has been closed.