Anyone else doing low carb for their wedding?
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You're right. Without her I would never have set my new goal of growing 10 inches by September. With this goal I will be able to meet her ideal BMI and height requirement and the dress should fit me the way it fit the model on the runway. I'm excited to develop a love of cocaine and all things Leonardo Dicaprio. The world is looking up!
I say you're right about it not being ill-intended. It wasn't but it sure as heck didn't come from a good place. She owns the business, she won't be fired. I'm ok with that as I didn't even say it was wrong of her to say that. Honestly, she reminds me of a very negative aunt I have who is terribly socially inept. No matter how many times I told myself growing up that this aunt was a darn idiot, it would still cut like a knife. Her experience in the bridal industry gives her some credibility though. Her sweatshirt with a cardinal sewn on the front however did not.
While many brides like to lose weight for their wedding, it is by no means necessary. It should be a personal choice. I know when I originally purchased my dress, the woman doing alterations was really rude about my weight and how I looked. She was Asian, so I think part of it was cultural. Either way, it is not good for business to insult the clientele.0 -
I agree it was an insensitive comment at best, possibly mean. I think the real takeaway though is that we all should try very hard to be resilient and not let another person's meanness make us go on a carb bender. There will always be mean people and our personal resilience is all we have. As therapists tell you, you can't control what other people do, but you can take responsibility for how you react and your own emotions about it.
I feel for you having to hear that, I'm glad you are in a better place and I wish you luck!
PS if you are worried about the next fitting you could always say to her first thing when you see her that you were hurt by her comment and please don't say anything about your body. Or don't, because that might open a discussion about what she said that may make you feel worse. I would bring a trusted friend who will tell her politely and firmly to shut it if she mentions your body!!!0 -
No way!!
I want a girl with lots and lots of sugar!
Ha!
Good idea for a healthy option type wedding.0 -
SlimBride2Be wrote: »I agree it was an insensitive comment at best, possibly mean. I think the real takeaway though is that we all should try very hard to be resilient and not let another person's meanness make us go on a carb bender. There will always be mean people and our personal resilience is all we have. As therapists tell you, you can't control what other people do, but you can take responsibility for how you react and your own emotions about it.
I feel for you having to hear that, I'm glad you are in a better place and I wish you luck!
This. Absolutely. Perfectly put. Thank you. I don't blame her for my reaction to her words or for my sensitivity. I can't. I own that I am a sensitive person and I have become ok with that over the years. However, I cannot control the actions, inactions or words of others. I can only control how I allow them to affect me and how I react to them. I am a work in progress.
Ok- so new topic. Let's hear the lovely details of all of the upcoming weddings! Anything unusual? Anyone want to share a picture of their dress or venue?
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My wedding is in just over 11 months and I plan to go dress shopping (or start dress shopping) in about a month to six weeks. We are having a church ceremony in a gorgeous 15th century country church and a garden party afterwards. I'm so excited! We plan to honeymoon in Vietnam and Cambodia right afterwards so this time next year I will be on a beautiful beach!0
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Wow! That sounds beautiful!! (both the church and the honeymoon)
Any thoughts on the kind of dress you want?0 -
I did and lost 11lbs (I'm short, so it showed). My original wedding dress was huge when I got it! Good thing I changed my mind and bought another in the interim.0
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Mine is semi-Halloween theme. The colors are purple and black
We are having a courthouse wedding for immediate family (we aren't religious and this is way cheaper!) and a full-on reception afterwards (that is what people go to weddings for anyway!). I already have my dress and I am planning on going for alterations in September. It's supposed to be a tea length dress but I'm 4'll so it needs to be hemmed and I want them to make it a sweetheart neckline instead of straight. I'm also wearing purple peep toe shoes! 0 -
You're right. Without her I would never have set my new goal of growing 10 inches by September. With this goal I will be able to meet her ideal BMI and height requirement and the dress should fit me the way it fit the model on the runway. I'm excited to develop a love of cocaine and all things Leonardo Dicaprio. The world is looking up!
I say you're right about it not being ill-intended. It wasn't but it sure as heck didn't come from a good place. She owns the business, she won't be fired. I'm ok with that as I didn't even say it was wrong of her to say that. Honestly, she reminds me of a very negative aunt I have who is terribly socially inept. No matter how many times I told myself growing up that this aunt was a darn idiot, it would still cut like a knife. Her experience in the bridal industry gives her some credibility though. Her sweatshirt with a cardinal sewn on the front however did not.
Something else to keep in mind is that as a wedding professional, she knows that certain cuts will highlight certain bits, and all of that, and she also likely has a very clear image of how a bride "should" look, just in her "professional opinion." Does that mean a happy, bride might not look perfect on her big day? As long as you aren't clomping around like a kiddo playing dress up in her mom's closet, I think that the glow of happiness you'll wear as your best accessory on your wedding day will make everything LOOK AND FEEL EXACTLY RIGHT.
Everyone has their own opinions. She might have just been saying that the darts in the middle or a particular placement of stitch or lace tends to shorten or lengthen the body, and that you might have found a dress with all the other aspects that you loved so much about that one tiny detail, and you could have looked "perfect" to HER.
As a seamstress myself, I know that have a stitch in an odd place will catch my attention, where 99.9% of the rest of the population may never notice. And having all heard Bridezilla stories, I'm sure this woman has had people who WANTED her to tell them they would look better in a another style.
Again, all that being said, this woman should have had more tact and such in making her commentary - or kept it to herself, but she might not have even meant to say it out loud. If she has been in the industry long enough to become jaded, she might just be a B-witch - or have been having a bad day.
I think it is a testament to your resiliency that not only have you come back swinging, you're armored up in case this ... less than tactful woman whips out her word weapons again!!!
Congrats to all those getting married! May domestic bliss haunt the rest of your days!
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Nothing I can add but congrats on upcoming wedding, you will feel and look beautiful and a lot lighter with so much more energy to dance all night!!! Good luck 0
