Yes, while I am still quite a bit larger than you (I'm around a size 20 US, give or take), but I started in the 5X range (which is 28-32W I think), and there are sometimes I go to pick things up, and put it on and it swims (I was convinced the other day I needed a 4X in something). Or I bought a 2X in something and felt like someone shoved me in a sausage casing. Then I see pictures of the old me and think, man, have I made any progress? Or I see pictures of me now, and it makes me so miserable to see how little difference there is.... This in general is called body dysmorphic disorder. It is what makes anorexics see someone 5 times larger than themselves, even when they are practically skeletal, but it happens at all sizes in different ways.

What I would suggest is rather than focusing on what you still want to lose, focus on what you like about yourself. A friend had her counselor give her an assignment to work on her self image. It had to do with looking into a mirror each day and finding a feature she liked about herself (she couldn't even do that at first, so we started with smile and eyes - I had to help convince her at first)... Each day (and for the first weeks, it was 1 feature per week, then increased later one), she had to spend 5 minutes looking into the mirror and doing self speak to accept and love the feature and find everything that was great about that feature. Her eyes was the color, the shape, the sparkle, how they didn't need make up, how she loved the way her brows brought them out, etc.

I think she said it took her 3 months to get comfortable even looking in the mirror (she'd been in a horrible marriage).... But while I took a different angle, this is how I learned to love and accept my "fat girl curves" even while still wanting to improve them. I had a better self image at 319 pounds, size 5X everything, and in my 30's than I did at 19 years old, 140 pounds, size Medium everything... And that's why even though I don't LOVE what I see in the mirror even now, and I get a skewed sense of myself and my progress sometimes, I still like myself and can accept that I would be okay with myself, even wearing shorts at this weight, even if I knew it would never change or get better.

I think coming up with or researching a program on improving your acceptance of your current image would be very helpful to you, because otherwise, I have a feeling that even losing another 2 sizes, you won't feel comfortable in your own skin...

HUGS to you....beautiful at any size/shape...

I'm a guy, so not much help. Sounds to me like you want external validation. (Which I'd be happy to give you if you post more swimsuit pictures. )

Not to get all gushy, but love yourself. This might not be great advice, but it's worked for me: be confident, whether you feel it or not. People will notice, and it'll feedback to you as an ego boost, and then you'll be genuinely confident.

Darn brains playing tricks on us. I hate in the mirror and not seeing what my loved ones see. It'll come in time I suppose.

I feel the same way. I also understand the feeling of not being able to talk about it without fear of people being annoyed by it.

I lost my weight quickly once going low carb. It hasn't allowed my brain the time to adjust yet. People tell me I'm skinny now, I know I'm smaller and some days I look in the mirror and feel great, other times (like today) I literally think I look as big as I did before.

But who can you say that too. Without them thinking, 'yeah listen to this skinny b**** talk about how fat she is'.

It feels so confusing for people to look at me as if I'm on the other side now. I'm not a bigger girl struggling with her weight anymore (at least upon appearances) so who am I?

There is a lot of emotional tie in to this and I feel getting that straightened out will take a lot longer than the weight loss did.

If you're like me at all you may find waiting a week or so to try shopping again. Sometimes it's just a funk and nothing looks right at that moment.

I completely get this

I have a 33 waist now

But I don't see that. I am still not seeing myself as I am

I am going to set my profile pic to a waist pic that is G rated.

But I have had my trainer say to just relax and accept the fact

You are not fat

You may have heard it all your life from
Yourself and others

But you are not fat

I looked at this pic of my waist and laughed

So I still think I'm fat?

What is wrong with me!?!?

When you're doing «Negative Automatic Self Talk», (only lacks the Y for NASTY) try catch yourself doing it and stop. Examine the validity of those feelings. Are there other alternative explanations that could possibly be true ?

As you mentioned, whose «voice» is talking to you? Maybe it's someone you grew up with or had a big influenced on you ?

Self-observing: Try imagine a camera on your shoulders. See yourself from outside or how someone else might see you now. Analyze what is happening when you talk yourself down. Why are you doing this? Is there any patterns ?

Keep asking yourself questions. Good luck

Definitely work on positive self talk and self esteem. Because those issues are going to block your happiness. You see it everywhere, most women are so fixed on the number on the scale, they think that if and when they finally get to that number, they will finally be happy. But they get there and they are not happy because there is something else within themselves causing the unhappiness.

SlimBride2Be wrote: »

The problem is that it's louder than all the other voices in my life. Like when my friend said 'you look thin enough, don't get thinner or you'll be gaunt' I hear 'I like you being my fat friend; don't stop being fat'.

No but, for what it's worth, there ARE those people who say those things and that is somewhat what they actually mean! Whether it's a reflection on the work they would like to do (but aren't doing) themselves, jealousy, etc... I've gotten that kinda stuff A LOT from people over the past several years that I've made body changes.

Example - I started at a much higher weight in the high 100's, 155 now, but in the past two years been in the mid-to-low 140s and even as low as 137, and got there the healthy way. I'm 5'3". That is a small frame. And it is not unreasonable or unhealthy for me to end up at 120 or possibly even a little lower than that! Now I'm not saying that is definitively my goal - I'd imagine it's at least 130, but I'll definitely shoot for 125 and if that comes easily I may try to go lower. But when people hear or have heard that I'd like to lose 30-35 lbs, they lose their *kitten*. "You can't lose that much, you don't have that much to lose!" "You'll be gaunt and waaaay too skinny if you lose that much." Blah Blah Blah. People. 120 and 5'3" is well within healthy range. Gauntness is temporary while the body shuffles fat and gets comfortable at a lower weight. Point is, we all have different bodies, and weight settles on us all differently. Quite honestly no one else's opinions matter - it's about being happy ourselves!

Now I can totally relate to what you're experiencing...good old girl goggles! I think this also happens somewhat because other people sometimes have different standards with what is acceptable, and we are obviously always our own worst critics! But honestly, as long as you aren't being unhealthy about it, I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to improve, but do it all the while loving yourself - you owe it to your own happiness. I know for me personally, I will probably technically never be 100% happy with my body, I'm not sure any girls are. But I will certainly be able to be more accepting of my flaws when I'm at a generally smaller size and better level of tightness of toning!

minties82 wrote: »

I think I have the opposite problem....

I think you all look fabulous.

I have an even weirder opposite problem. Even when I was fat, I never considered myself fat. Now that I'm less fat, I think I look pretty buff. I'll be strutting around like a peacock if I ever actually get buff.

I hear you and understand. I feel you look great but I also understand that your mother's words may make it difficult to hear that as a truth. It is common for people to feel what you are feeling.

Speaking in quotes is rarely anything less than annoying but the cold hard truth of "wherever you go, there you are" is one of the many pitfalls to being human. You can keep on losing weight. You can tone up. You can do whatever you want. But it won't matter because wherever you go, there you are. If you don't work through whatever it is you need to work through, it will follow you from size to size. So many of us think "if I could just have x then I wouldn't feel this way." Then we get whatever that is and oops, we still feel that way. You have to address the larger issue and for you that is a low self-esteem. That low self-esteem probably contributed to your weight gain in the first place. I was going to say "I would google ways to work on your self-esteem or set up a therapy appointment." But that isn't at all true. I have a very low self-esteem as well. I haven't googled any solutions. It was briefly mentioned in therapy but no solutions were discussed. If I could give myself advice, it would be that though. Do you suffer from anxiety at all?

@minties82 I'm right there with you (though I have to say, you have made an awesome transformation already). I know 27lbs isn't tons of weight, especially when I started off at 237. But I'm down to 210 and there is not much of a difference in my appearance in my opinion. Nor has anyone really seemed to notice the either. I'm still really proud of myself for the success so far...and other than some TOM binging I've struggled with this week...I'm motivated to keep going. I just wish there was more of aesthetic difference to show for it.

Being down around 50 pound (lost first 20 pounds CICO only) I still see myself as a fat boy. Going from BMI of 35 and clocking it at 27.3 yesterday on my Health-O-Meter scales yesterday I have decided while I have no BMI goal I have no desire to go below 25 or hang around with those who are below 25. That is a joke but I personally think most people are healthier and look that way too when at a BMI of around 25 +/-2 which also gives the lowest risk of death.