Ranting about naysayers
MimiOfTheLusciousLawn
Posts: 2,212 Member
I am currently on vacation with family members I haven't seen in a year. In that time, I've lost 112#. At my weigh in this week alone, while on vaca, I lost 6#. My issue? They are making me crazy, telling me I NEED carbs, what I'm doing isn't good, isn't healthy, blah, blah, blah. Two of them, who are giving me the most grief, have both had heart attacks, one is diabetic, both have high blood pressure, each at least 50# overweight, and both are on trays of meds. Me? I'm on nothing. No meds. Fasting blood sugars around 80. This couple also has a son, 35ish, diabetic, 300+#, who they are encouraging to get weight loss surgery. I stressed to them to suggest he at least try this woe before going to such a drastic measure and I was shot down. As it's early now as I post this, can anyone help with an argument that might help convince them that this is worth trying? It simply amazes me, with the proof right in front of them, that they can deny the efficacy of this woe. Grrrr. 
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You can't help stupid
If someone can see proof that contradicts a theory they hold, that is obviously failing, they don't want to learn.
As Jack Nicholson said, they can't handle the truth
Move on with it.
It isn't worth the mental turmoil.
You are a good example. That is the best thing possible.0 -
KittensMaster wrote: »You can't help stupid
If someone can see proof that contradicts a theory they hold, that is obviously failing, they don't want to learn.
As Jack Nicholson said, they can't handle the truth
Move on with it.
It isn't worth the mental turmoil.
You are a good example. That is the best thing possible.
Too true.
Just keep being a shining example. I have converted 3 people just losing weight and answering questions when asked. One best friend, the other best friend's husband, and my MIL (NAFLD and recently diagnosed diabetic.) People have been brainwashed to think we are a virus. Brainwashed to cling to the things that are making them sick. Their reactions really tell more about themselves and what they are doing, than they say ANYTHING about you and your actions. Keep Calm and LC On. You just keep doing you, and hopefully one day you'll spread the "low-carb" plague to them and they'll finally be illuminated. Regardless, you will be healthy and happy.
Keep up the excellent work.
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Have you watched Fathead? You can find it on YouTube. That might give you some quick things to reference. Though you wouldn't want to specifically say you learned all about this from some documentary. But you could say "Look, I have done a lot of reading. I am in contact with lots of people that have improved their health eating this way. I don't want to spend our time debating diets but if you are interested in a quick way to learn why this WOE is so beneficial you can check out the movie Fathead on YouTube. Until you do the research that I have done, I am not interested in a debate or advise. I won't push my preferences on you either".
Besides that, I always like throwing around a few big words they are sure to be unfamiliar with. That usually demonstrates you have done your homework. In response to you NEED carbs to live. Your response could be "Actually, you're right. The human body does require a small amount of carbs each day, which is why the body is capable of aquiring them through a process called gluconeogenesis. You don't have to consume carbs to get the glucose that the brain needs to function." If you start to sound super geeky about the science, most people will get immediately bored but they also start to think that you might just know something after all and stop thinking you are just on some fad diet.
I would try to refrain from "shaming carbs" in general because you will likely just get guilt fueled defensiveness in response. Saying things like "The science behind the way the body uses insulin to burn and store carbohydrate is very interesting and understanding that process and how it can become damaged with consistent overconsumption of carbohydrates explains why such a large portion of our society now suffers from so many chronic inflammation related and metabolic conditions." I don't know how anyone, not talking out their bum, could still think you don't know what you're talking about after making these comments.
Best of luck to ya!0 -
MimiOfTheLusciousLawn wrote: »I am currently on vacation with family members I haven't seen in a year. In that time, I've lost 112#. At my weigh in this week alone, while on vaca, I lost 6#. My issue? They are making me crazy, telling me I NEED carbs, what I'm doing isn't good, isn't healthy, blah, blah, blah. Two of them, who are giving me the most grief, have both had heart attacks, one is diabetic, both have high blood pressure, each at least 50# overweight, and both are on trays of meds. Me? I'm on nothing. No meds. Fasting blood sugars around 80. This couple also has a son, 35ish, diabetic, 300+#, who they are encouraging to get weight loss surgery. I stressed to them to suggest he at least try this woe before going to such a drastic measure and I was shot down. As it's early now as I post this, can anyone help with an argument that might help convince them that this is worth trying? It simply amazes me, with the proof right in front of them, that they can deny the efficacy of this woe. Grrrr.
Your success is a condemnation of their diet. Just ignore. I know it's hard. Come here and rant.
Tell them they can't talk to you about food until they watch "Fathead" on youtube. I had to do that with a few ppl. Shut them up.
I don't think they ever watched it, but. W/E
Ps. Plus they'll know who to come to when they ARE ready. You can't help a man who doesn't see his need.0 -
Sunny_Bunny_ wrote: »Have you watched Fathead? You can find it on YouTube. That might give you some quick things to reference. Though you wouldn't want to specifically say you learned all about this from some documentary. But you could say "Look, I have done a lot of reading. I am in contact with lots of people that have improved their health eating this way. I don't want to spend our time debating diets but if you are interested in a quick way to learn why this WOE is so beneficial you can check out the movie Fathead on YouTube. Until you do the research that I have done, I am not interested in a debate or advise. I won't push my preferences on you either".
Besides that, I always like throwing around a few big words they are sure to be unfamiliar with. That usually demonstrates you have done your homework. In response to you NEED carbs to live. Your response could be "Actually, you're right. The human body does require a small amount of carbs each day, which is why the body is capable of aquiring them through a process called gluconeogenesis. You don't have to consume carbs to get the glucose that the brain needs to function." If you start to sound super geeky about the science, most people will get immediately bored but they also start to think that you might just know something after all and stop thinking you are just on some fad diet.
I would try to refrain from "shaming carbs" in general because you will likely just get guilt fueled defensiveness in response. Saying things like "The science behind the way the body uses insulin to burn and store carbohydrate is very interesting and understanding that process and how it can become damaged with consistent overconsumption of carbohydrates explains why such a large portion of our society now suffers from so many chronic inflammation related and metabolic conditions." I don't know how anyone, not talking out their bum, could still think you don't know what you're talking about after making these comments.
Best of luck to ya!
Haha, great minds.
that movie is seriously useful! 0 -
You are doing everything right. There is no convincing some people. I just returned from a week long vacation with my mother and sister, who are both more overweight than I am. They constantly put my WOE down, even though I have lost 90 pounds, 50 in the last 11 months eating LC, then LCHF. They both could benefit from losing weight. My sister is a nurse, and holds fast to her conventional beliefs, as does my mother who is very vocal about her disapproval of the way I eat. My sister will at least tell me that she is glad that this is working for me, but does not believe LCHF should be recommended. My mother however, shows extreme disgust and will tell other people that I am crazy for adopting this WOE.
I was so excited initially that I was getting results, that I wanted to share what I have learned with others, especially my family. But I know know that it is not worth my energy and gives me stress to try to convince others. I now only discuss LCHF with people who express interest. Out of those people, there is usually only a small fraction of people who want to know more and who actually listen to what I am saying. The others just tune me out and prevent themselves from absorbing "unconventional" wisdom, even though one look at me proves that this WOE works.
My advice is to just keep on doing what you are doing. Your weight loss and improved health is the proof. I know how frustrating it can be to not be listened to, but it is way less stressful to just let it go...... Good luck.0 -
Kitnthecat wrote: »...The others just tune me out and prevent themselves from absorbing "unconventional" wisdom, even though one look at me proves that this WOE works.
....
Well said. You described it perfectly. They get a plastic smile zoned out look on their face and I know I've lost them.0 -
Yes misery loves company and these people have not hit rock bottom. It was when I realized I was going to died in an ugly way and not too far down the road that I stated to getting serious. My wife and twins were watching me go deeper and deeper into a death spiral so to speak. Last fall 3 guys that were in school with me at the same time growing up died at 59, 62 and 69 within a 3 month period.
Actually it was learning that I was an addict of carbs was what really pissed me off and realized carbs were the only thing standing between me testing to see if very low carb eating could help manage my pain.
Because I can be blunt (son said I only use one hammer and that is the sledgehammer) people do not normal go negative on me. Being old and knowing I am very low carb to manage my life long pain and that it is actually working for me actually have many people excited for me. They know some with less issues than I have who have just quit on life when I have not.
Now that I understand carb addiction I know most are not even going to try very low carb until it is way too late. I run into guys all the time that state they are going to die and are cool with that they say. I guess if one has quit on life then death may be a good thing in their minds.
I am about hope and have always been. I am not sure I have the ability to pass it on to others my age. The wife and kids get it and are excited that I am getting better. My daughter told me yesterday my wife has been researching 'sugar' and said it seems about all disease is caused in part or made worse by sugar. She is a Pharmacist with a double major from college in biology and chemistry so she is great with grasping research.
Our circle of influence may be small today but we are making a real impact if we do not start calling fat people bad names. Seriously I get ticked when some will not try for hope through diet then I member my carb addiction and what a road block it was to moving to a more healthy lifestyle. 0 -
I don't know why people are so stupid. Even my elderly Dad knows that if you don't eat sugary foods, pasta, potato, bread and rice you feel much better and lose weight. He did low carb 30 years ago, it's not a new concept.0
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EbonyDahlia wrote: »I don't know why people are so stupid. Even my elderly Dad knows that if you don't eat sugary foods, pasta, potato, bread and rice you feel much better and lose weight. He did low carb 30 years ago, it's not a new concept.
It makes common sense. Especially for the diabetics. I don't get the resistance, either.
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I would let them know that we have to agree to disagree and leave it there. You aren't criticizing every bite they put in their mouth. You are walking proof. That's all that matters!0
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So... after a solid 4 days with these people, several negative comments that have been ignored, continuing to unapologetically eat the way I do (and boasting about the amazing 6# loss I managed this week, on vacation no less!), there may be a glimmer of hope. Yesterday at lunch one of the bigger naysayers ordered a bunless burger for lunch. BOOM, biotch!!0
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Vive la Low-Carb-pocalypse! We will infect them all. MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!
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MimiOfTheLusciousLawn wrote: »So... after a solid 4 days with these people, several negative comments that have been ignored, continuing to unapologetically eat the way I do (and boasting about the amazing 6# loss I managed this week, on vacation no less!), there may be a glimmer of hope. Yesterday at lunch one of the bigger naysayers ordered a bunless burger for lunch. BOOM, biotch!!
This is the best! I love it!0 -
MimiOfTheLusciousLawn wrote: »So... after a solid 4 days with these people, several negative comments that have been ignored, continuing to unapologetically eat the way I do (and boasting about the amazing 6# loss I managed this week, on vacation no less!), there may be a glimmer of hope. Yesterday at lunch one of the bigger naysayers ordered a bunless burger for lunch. BOOM, biotch!!
This is utterly glorious.0 -
MimiOfTheLusciousLawn wrote: »So... after a solid 4 days with these people, several negative comments that have been ignored, continuing to unapologetically eat the way I do (and boasting about the amazing 6# loss I managed this week, on vacation no less!), there may be a glimmer of hope. Yesterday at lunch one of the bigger naysayers ordered a bunless burger for lunch. BOOM, biotch!!
A silent example demands attention
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JessicaLCHF wrote: »EbonyDahlia wrote: »I don't know why people are so stupid. Even my elderly Dad knows that if you don't eat sugary foods, pasta, potato, bread and rice you feel much better and lose weight. He did low carb 30 years ago, it's not a new concept.
It makes common sense. Especially for the diabetics. I don't get the resistance, either.
I know for people like my mother, they've gotten into the mindset that they are so damned miserable that they feel entitled to indulge in the "few joys they have left!" Even if it makes them worse.
I know, too, that the number of times my PCP suggested lowering my carbs, it just seemed positive impossible, and I too was a naysayer. It took me acknowledging a whole lot of uncomfortable truths about myself, including my horrid carb addiction, to even get to the point of looking at the science. It took getting formally confirmed as having certain conditions that I'd been diagnosed with years ago but not told, with some new complications added to it before I would consider that I needed to eat this way for a certain condition.
Until I was READY to listen, learn, and absorb info about this new lifestyle and work through all my mental and emotional demons (ongoing process) and put in the hard mental work, I had zero chance of having any success at this way of eating... And me getting ready cost me a lot... Still hoping to recover from a lot of it.
But my mom feels that way, so miserable, just wanting to steal any joy she can, but her autoimmune has progressed so much that she has allergic reactions to vitamins now... It is so sad. She says that changing her way of eating would be expensive, impossible, etc. I just have to keep living the example and hope one day that something makes her care again about trying, that everything is NOT impossible, etc. My aunt is on her same path, and that scares the heck out of me, because my grandmother just died a couple years ago, and had the same underlying issues (though died from something else)... It's genetic, so I'm racing to turn back the horrible things I've done to myself because I didn't feel I was worth fighting for, that any of this was possible...0 -
KittensMaster wrote: »MimiOfTheLusciousLawn wrote: »So... after a solid 4 days with these people, several negative comments that have been ignored, continuing to unapologetically eat the way I do (and boasting about the amazing 6# loss I managed this week, on vacation no less!), there may be a glimmer of hope. Yesterday at lunch one of the bigger naysayers ordered a bunless burger for lunch. BOOM, biotch!!
A silent example demands attention
Much as the whispering adult gets more attention from out of control children than the screaming one...0 -
JessicaLCHF wrote: »EbonyDahlia wrote: »I don't know why people are so stupid. Even my elderly Dad knows that if you don't eat sugary foods, pasta, potato, bread and rice you feel much better and lose weight. He did low carb 30 years ago, it's not a new concept.
It makes common sense. Especially for the diabetics. I don't get the resistance, either.
People have a knee-jerk reaction to anything that contradicts their comfortably held beliefs. I'm sure there were people who just did NOT believe the world was round, even after people sailed around it. "Nope! Uh-uh! It's flat! Lalalala! I can't hear you!"
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JessicaLCHF wrote: »It makes common sense. Especially for the diabetics. I don't get the resistance, either.
As I know from my mother's diet (she is a diabetic who lives alone), she eats the way she does from habit, laziness, and convenience. It is too much trouble for her to cook for one, and she got into the habit of fast food (when she had a car, that is). Now it is mostly microwave meals and cookies (That woman can eat two dozen choc chip cookies in one day!) She pretends she buys the sweets for the grandkids, but they are mostly adults and do not go by to see her very often at all! When I visited her last year, she stuffed the pockets of her robe with those individual candy bars and sat there eating them while watching tv. Then she refilled the pockets and took them to bed with her. I heard her in her bed unwrapping them! Ironically, my mother got onto her mother for doing the exact same thing! I tried to offer her better foods while I was there, but she refused to eat them. She just filled up on fries, candy, cookies, and her KFC or BK sandwiches.
My sister and I are convinced she will not be happy until she is on insulin.
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GreenA..I am cracking up at the "sound of candy wrappers in bed…alone...in the dark…...…incredible denial !!!! but funny as all get out!
At the worst point in 2009 I was such an incredible sugar junkie (it was fueled by a cancer I didnt know I had!!!)..
I could buy a 3 pack of Cream Horns--like 500 calories each.....buy three 3packs actually..and eat one pack in a night..feel sick and woozy from the sugar..then do it again the next day… 1500+ calories of total SUGAR….finally the store stopped carrying them..and I quit looking for them. they are still my number one trigger.
GaleH..I really admire your taking action..it is so true that sugar and carbs can destroy our ability to fight off infection, clog the liver, fog the brain….UGH…
I NOW have a new apt to see the VA kidney doc..and the nutritionist too..she wants me to tweak my diet..BUT she also lost 46 pounds on LC…..so I told her I was NOT going to eat the VA healthy Plate way AGAIN..it doesnt work..she agreed. so we will see what lecture I get in Sept from the RD.
Protecting my one kidney is the most critical issue I have…. LC seems to be working, I may have to lower fats ( new meds making me hungry) but I am NOT adding"whole grains" to my diet..blah!0 -
KnitOrMiss wrote: »JessicaLCHF wrote: »EbonyDahlia wrote: »I don't know why people are so stupid. Even my elderly Dad knows that if you don't eat sugary foods, pasta, potato, bread and rice you feel much better and lose weight. He did low carb 30 years ago, it's not a new concept.
It makes common sense. Especially for the diabetics. I don't get the resistance, either.
I know for people like my mother, they've gotten into the mindset that they are so damned miserable that they feel entitled to indulge in the "few joys they have left!" Even if it makes them worse. (...)
My mum too! She says "I'm too old to change". Which is not true, cause she has changed some significant things past years. It does not matter what I tell her, it's like she feels hopeless or something. Cause she rather prefers to slowly not being able to live on her own due to sarcopenia and emerging dementia, than to try change things. She even says she can't eat many of the things I suggest like spinach and fish oil, because they might "interfere with my medications". Taking pills is evidently more important.
I got into a discussion with a friend the other day. She had gestational diabetes twice now. And has participated in a study bout it, so she was measuring BG and was informed about the diagnose on a course. Still, she says: "Eating fat raises cholesterol and can cause heart disease". It got a bit heated, but we agreed to disagree.
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I worked with a guy that ate pasta and rice and chicken gravy biscuits
He was diabetic using insulin shots
Thought the shots made it ok to eat a bunch of carbs0 -
That's my parents too @KittensMaster, they believe that since they take medication they can eat what they want. My mother worries about feeling deprived. She doesn't see it as the drug/poison it is! Probably never will.0
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The doc I work for shares office space with an endocrinologist. I overheard someone say "I can't wait to get my insulin pump then I can eat whatever I want". Alrighty then!0
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We have been taught there is a pill for every health issue that we may develop. The masses buy it.0
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greenautumn17 wrote: »JessicaLCHF wrote: »It makes common sense. Especially for the diabetics. I don't get the resistance, either.
As I know from my mother's diet (she is a diabetic who lives alone), she eats the way she does from habit, laziness, and convenience. It is too much trouble for her to cook for one, and she got into the habit of fast food (when she had a car, that is). Now it is mostly microwave meals and cookies (That woman can eat two dozen choc chip cookies in one day!) She pretends she buys the sweets for the grandkids, but they are mostly adults and do not go by to see her very often at all! When I visited her last year, she stuffed the pockets of her robe with those individual candy bars and sat there eating them while watching tv. Then she refilled the pockets and took them to bed with her. I heard her in her bed unwrapping them! Ironically, my mother got onto her mother for doing the exact same thing! I tried to offer her better foods while I was there, but she refused to eat them. She just filled up on fries, candy, cookies, and her KFC or BK sandwiches.
My sister and I are convinced she will not be happy until she is on insulin.
This reminds me of my sister, who is on insulin now. sigh.0 -
Perhaps carb addiction issue is at play in some of these extreme examples?
Last year for pain management I was really considering letting the doctors put be on Enbrel knowing full well the real risk of cancer from doing so. I wanted to try adding coconut oil and removing sugar and all grain from my diet to manage my pain level. After two months I still was eating food containing sugar and grains because I really could not taper off of them. Then I went off of them cold turkey and 30 days later had my pain managed.
I expect most people are not even aware of addiction to carbs is even possible. There was no hope for me after 40 years of abusing carbs until I understood I was an addict in denial.0 -
All this talk about moms who won't listen got me thinking how great full I am my mother is listening. In fact she's lost 11. Lbs so far and dramatically lowered her bp! So happy for her!0
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All this talk about moms who won't listen got me thinking how great full I am my mother is listening. In fact she's lost 11. Lbs so far and dramatically lowered her bp! So happy for her!
That's great! I'm so happy for you and your mother. It's great to see people we love taking care of themselves.0
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