Oh the haters...
RebeccaMaunder
Posts: 171 Member
I'm posting more to find out how you all deal, but since going to this woe I've had lost of people suggest that maybe I don't. I've had people tell me that it's not healthy and not practical. Not to worry about carbs and be so restrictive sand many other things. Tonight while talking to my friend she tells me that while at her trainers, who apparently also is a nutritionist, that when she asked him he said sure I will lose weight but if I ever stop following the woe I'll just gain it all back. I've tried explaining to her that a doctor told me to do this long before anyone on mfp suggested it, and that I didn't start doing it because I didn't understand what it meant.
I have to say sometimes the negativity gets to me, others I just laugh but tonight it bugged me because I don't want to lose a bunch of weight just to put it back on. I want to be a fit healthy person. I want what is best for my body.
Anyway just wondering what you all think...
I have to say sometimes the negativity gets to me, others I just laugh but tonight it bugged me because I don't want to lose a bunch of weight just to put it back on. I want to be a fit healthy person. I want what is best for my body.
Anyway just wondering what you all think...
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I came to this woe for health, weight as a secondary consideration. After lots of grief over the last couple of years, I now know that I need to restrict carbohydrates for the rest of my life. With carbohydrates I won't be healthy of fit. If you're insulin resistant to any degree, going low on carbs is a no-brainer. Going ketogenic made me healthier than I'd been in years, so I see no reason to stop. Would your friends or trainer recommend "just a little drink" to an alcoholic? Of course not. In my case, what is best for my body is to lose most of the carbohydrate from my diet. Simple. Haters will hate.0
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I know how you feel. I'm in a workout support group. Everyone does the 6 mini meals a day & almost 200 carbs a day plan. They just don't understand how eating low carb puts you in control. The feeling of going hours with out craving food!! I don't have to spend 4 hours on Sunday prepping all my meals & snacks for the week. I just try to keep telling myself everyone is different!! One day when I loose this weight I will show them low carb can be healthy!!0
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Actually I had to envision myself dead and in a coffin if I did not stop living on carbs to make LCHF work for me. I did not know if it would work but a little voice kept telling me I had to try it. I really do see how the carb eaters do not see what we now see when I stop to think about it. @fireball1970 everyone is different for sure.
Others are watching us and hope we fail so they will feel better perhaps. When we do not then they start asking questions I am finding after eating this way for 14 months now.0 -
@RebeccaMaunder. I hear you! I think pointing out that it is your doctor helping you get healthier with this way of eating is a great response. Appreciating that they are caring enough to be concerned is also nice.
The comment on putting weight back on could be a nasty give up now, we are jealous of your success or just concern based on diet statistics rather than you as a person. Every single person, regardless of their choice in diet is more likely to put weight on when they stop than keep it off for > 5 years. (Cant think of reference now) What is awesome with this WOE is that many people find it a sustainable long term way of life, not a diet fix. Also if you choose to change your diet, you can choose to do something that works for you. You can be one of the minority that reduce weight and keep it off. Totally in your hands, not theirs. Good luck n thanks for sharing.0 -
RebeccaMaunder wrote: »....when she asked him he said sure I will lose weight but if I ever stop following the woe I'll just gain it all back.
I've heard this argument a lot, so not only is it lazy, it's utter bulls***t.
If you lose weight on ANY diet and then go back to the way you were eating previously, you will gain back the weight you've lost. That's why you gained weight in the first place.0 -
RebeccaMaunder wrote: »Anyway just wondering what you all think...
At the age of 25 (after my mother brushed off a huge achievement of mine as "average" performance), I accepted that I could only look to myself for validation. I'm now 42. Sure, I get told I'm arrogant and standoffish. But fortunately, I don't care what anyone else thinks.
Do what makes sense to you. If you have positive results keep doing what makes sense to you. If you don't have positive results, adapt (discuss a new plan of attack with your physician) and keep moving forward. Do not engage the enemy (the naysayers) until you have the confidence to brush off their remarks.
I was resistant to changing my WOE (I was strictly CICO), but after my physician threw down the gauntlet and challenged me to ketogenic-lacto-paleo for eight weeks, my ego wouldn't permit me to decline the challenge. I had decided by week 2, based on my own results, that this will be my WOE for life.0 -
bluefish86 wrote: »RebeccaMaunder wrote: »....when she asked him he said sure I will lose weight but if I ever stop following the woe I'll just gain it all back.
I've heard this argument a lot, so not only is it lazy, it's utter bulls***t.
If you lose weight on ANY diet and then go back to the way you were eating previously, you will gain back the weight you've lost. That's why you gained weight in the first place.
Exactly! If she doesn't want to understand don't try to convince her. A gym trainer/nutritionist is not a Dr so I wouldn't even concern myself with what that person has to say. Don't feel you even have to defend yourself to anyone you are doing what is best for you and any real friends wouldn't question that or need to prove you wrong. If she's truly concerned for your health send her some of the links from the sticky post or have her come here to see all the success people have had changing their lives and their health, you can't argue with the results.0 -
bluefish86 wrote: »RebeccaMaunder wrote: »....when she asked him he said sure I will lose weight but if I ever stop following the woe I'll just gain it all back.
I've heard this argument a lot, so not only is it lazy, it's utter bulls***t.
If you lose weight on ANY diet and then go back to the way you were eating previously, you will gain back the weight you've lost. That's why you gained weight in the first place.
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Sometimes it's misunderstanding. People just truly don't get this WOE. You might as well be speaking Swahili to most of them. No clue. For the haters, it's usually a personal insecurity. If you effect real change in your life, then they can't use you as an excuse anymore why they aren't effecting change in their own lives. Your failure is their crutch to continue failing in their own lives. In words I used long before Elsa... Let it go.
You aren't responsible for their mental health, their happiness, or even their understanding. Explain what you're doing (if they ask), and then go on about your business. They'll either get it or they won't. They'll support you or they won't. They'll be encouraged to effect change in their own life or they won't. And there's nothing you can do about any of it.0 -
My best strategy is not talking about it. Or I explain that there was a study in PLoS that showed that a ketogenic diet significantly reduced pain, and that I'm playing lab rat to see if I can avoid taking NSAIDS for my chronic hand injuries. It's very politically correct to avoid taking medication. Fortunately, very few people care what I eat. My weight is average, so I can say that all I ever eat is whipped cream and people just nod and say "you're so lucky." Never mind the fact that eating whipped cream is helping.
You're going to do what I did, lose the weight you want to lose, and keep eating basically the same way you did to lose weight, with changes as needed, keeping on eye on the scale, or your measurements, to make sure that you stay at your healthy weight permanently. It isn't magic.0 -
I've had a few people ask me how I've been losing weight and unless they want to really know, I just tell them I've cut out breads and pastas entirely.
That fits into their 'mold' and doesn't require any other conversation. If they want more, then I tell them I'm working my doctor on a customized diet plan. I can give them a copy of the meal plan if they want.
That ends the conversation. Except with my wife, who wants me to avoid fats still.
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I usually assume people are coming from a place of ignorance when situations like that come up; thankfully it doesn't happen often. Most people will see you getting healthier and don't throw out comments like that. I had one good friend who "gave me a year" on the diet, which sort of hurt, but she had tred a keto diet with severe calorie restriction for a couple of months in the past. Her experience with it was not mine so I let it go.
People are coming from their own experiences and what they have learned. Even if they are very intelligent, they will not know our experiences, nor read and learned the same information. They are ignorant in this one area, even if they don't think they are. 0 -
I've had a few people ask me how I've been losing weight and unless they want to really know, I just tell them I've cut out breads and pastas entirely.
That fits into their 'mold' and doesn't require any other conversation. If they want more, then I tell them I'm working my doctor on a customized diet plan. I can give them a copy of the meal plan if they want.
That ends the conversation. Except with my wife, who wants me to avoid fats still.
Haha about your wife. My husband is the one with pre-diabetes, and I'm the one on a low carb diet. His doctor hasn't been a huge help unfortunately, telling him to eat whole grains, which he was already doing, so......duh. (Sorry to vent. I'm annoyed at his doctor).0 -
lithezebra wrote: »I've had a few people ask me how I've been losing weight and unless they want to really know, I just tell them I've cut out breads and pastas entirely.
That fits into their 'mold' and doesn't require any other conversation. If they want more, then I tell them I'm working my doctor on a customized diet plan. I can give them a copy of the meal plan if they want.
That ends the conversation. Except with my wife, who wants me to avoid fats still.
Haha about your wife. My husband is the one with pre-diabetes, and I'm the one on a low carb diet. His doctor hasn't been a huge help unfortunately, telling him to eat whole grains, which he was already doing, so......duh. (Sorry to vent. I'm annoyed at his doctor).
My endocrinologist gave me some weak advice too. it IS annoying.0 -
lithezebra wrote: »Haha about your wife. My husband is the one with pre-diabetes, and I'm the one on a low carb diet. His doctor hasn't been a huge help unfortunately, telling him to eat whole grains, which he was already doing, so......duh. (Sorry to vent. I'm annoyed at his doctor).
It is, unfortunately, standard medical advice - I would be surprised if you found a doctor that offered any different advice. Eat 30-50 carbs per meal, with smaller amounts for at least two snacks. The idea isn't to achieve normal blood sugar - it is to achieve a steady diabetes "normal" blood sugar because nothing traditional medicine has to offer can achieve truly normal blood glucose levels. They figure it is safer to stay steady at a higher rate than to continually peak and trough.
I'm hoping, when I go to see my doctor on Friday, he will see the value in how I'm eating and think about suggesting it to other patients. (Diagnosed just about 2 months ago with an A1C of 7.2. Based on tons of testing (approaching 200 tests during that time), it should be high 4%/low 5%. I've only been above 140 on five of those tests (when I was testing new foods to determine what I can safely eat).0 -
it is embarrassing what dietary advice I hear from most doctors treating my diabetes.0
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It is, unfortunately, standard medical advice - I would be surprised if you found a doctor that offered any different advice. Eat 30-50 carbs per meal, with smaller amounts for at least two snacks. The idea isn't to achieve normal blood sugar - it is to achieve a steady diabetes "normal" blood sugar because nothing traditional medicine has to offer can achieve truly normal blood glucose levels. They figure it is safer to stay steady at a higher rate than to continually peak and trough.
(...)
I told my doctor I don't want "diabetic normal blood sugar" or "good blood sugar for a diabetic", I want optimal blood sugar, at the level of a healthy non-diabetic person.
She looked at me like I was an alien and then, in a condescending tone, told me that just is not possible. Once diabetic, forever diabetic. And blood sugar would become more difficult to control with time, requiring more medication, that is just "the normal evolution of the disease".
I left decided to do my best to prove my doctor wrong (even if it required doing the exact opposite of what she recommended). One year later she looked at my lab results and told me I was no longer diabetic. She was a bit puzzled and ordered more tests to be done in a few months. Did she ask what I had done or what I was eating? Of course not.
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I am always amazed at the argument people offer that if you stop eating LC you will just gain the weight back. Isn't the same thing true if you stop eating any type of diet, High Carb low fat included? I think that the idea should be that you need to find what works for you to lose the weight without feeling overly deprived.0
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Today was my reveal to my father for my weight loss (hadn't seen him since June). I knew to tread carefully as he's quite bull-headed, so I said I had cut grains out entirely and was very low carb. Surprisingly he was totally on board - chuckled and said that carbs are terrible for people, so what am I eating, lots of protein? I said not tons or anything, I'm eating veggies, protein, dairy (hesitated to say fat) and he cut in "DAIRY? You're going to need to cut that out, all the fat will kill you". I stopped there, small victories, right? I'll wait until I get my bloodwork again next September to mention I'm high fat unless he flat out asks HAHA0
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I've had the "if you stop you gain weight" thrown at me, but no one can tell me a good way to lose weight that you can stop doing. I usually just tell people I'm on a restricted food plan for IBD, and that ends the discussion.0
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110challenge wrote: »Today was my reveal to my father for my weight loss (hadn't seen him since June). I knew to tread carefully as he's quite bull-headed, so I said I had cut grains out entirely and was very low carb. Surprisingly he was totally on board - chuckled and said that carbs are terrible for people, so what am I eating, lots of protein? I said not tons or anything, I'm eating veggies, protein, dairy (hesitated to say fat) and he cut in "DAIRY? You're going to need to cut that out, all the fat will kill you". I stopped there, small victories, right? I'll wait until I get my bloodwork again next September to mention I'm high fat unless he flat out asks HAHA
You did well working with your father.0 -
I've had the "if you stop you gain weight" thrown at me, but no one can tell me a good way to lose weight that you can stop doing. I usually just tell people I'm on a restricted food plan for IBD, and that ends the discussion.
@Bob314159 , has LCHF helped your IBD? My husband has IBS and is having a flare up but won't listen if I suggest maybe cutting carbs to reduce the impact of it. I know @GaleHawkins had success with IBS stopping on LCHF but I think he said that it took 4 months to clear up. He isn't prepared to give up carbs for that long, I think, or is just sceptical that it would work. He says LCHR is too meat and dairy heavy and that gives him problems with constipation etc. I would love to hear more about your and Gale's experiences this way that might help convince him.0 -
@totaloblivia . . . What are your husband's primary IBS symptoms?
Low carb eating has changed my IBS. I've been keto for a month. It used to be that I wouldn't go for 1-2 weeks (my record is 3 weeks), and then everything would vacate quickly: with a couple of really miserable hours on the toilet. I won't say keto has cured it yet, as I'm still trying to fine tune things. My diarrhea is gone. I've become constipated once for a couple of days (I thought it was cured until this happened). I've added magnesium to my diet, and that seems to keep things moving along. The improvement has been huge! I now go once every day or two, and while small and soft they're not loose.0 -
@totaloblivia as stated many time my pain dropped like a rock in the first 30 days after totally getting off all forms of grains and most all sugar putting me <50 grams of carbs daily.
The IBS started to improve soon as well but I was not expecting it so I was not looking for it. What got my attention was constipation would happen from time to time when the inverse had been my problem for 40 years most of the time.
In my case I really expect I had a leaking gut/intestinal permeability issue. After 4 months all was well and I could wait as long as needed to locate a bathroom.
I expect the 5 tablespoons of coconut oil that I use in my first cup of coffee each morning was great for my gut repairing. The grains and perhaps the sugar I think was a major player in my failing health and high pain levels.
Something new I have been doing for a couple months is taking Wobenzym N which is systemic enzymes that you may want to read about. It seems to be very healing. Yesterday my 18 year old son dashed upon to the deck in the rain and slipped and broke/jammed his big toe that he broke back in the summer.
It looked ready bad last night about 6:30 PM but he had just eaten. Wobenzym needs to be taken at least 2 hours after food and not eat for one hour after taking it. It is like a mini IF diet.
This AM after taking 20 tablets at 8:30 then again at 1 AM his toe is looking so much better and the bruising has cleared. The product is from Germany and is used by some sport teams like hockey BEFORE the game. Some report injury recovery times are cut by 50%. Just the change in the look and reported feel of the son big toe I am impressed with Wobenzym. I am testing it because one doctor in Germany I think stated he had a 30% success rate resolving advanced pancreatic cancer. He states he does not know why the other 70% show no recovery from the cancer.
Currently I am testing taking 20 tablets 4x daily. Other than taking a bit out of remaining pain it is just like eat fruit it is made from I guess. I got to testing cancer protocols on myself when I thought I was going to have to start on Enbrel for pain management. I test protocols on myself before giving them to family members. Thankfully I have been at 80 tablets daily now for a few weeks and was comfortable with giving my some this dosage of Wobenzym N for his painful toe he messed up really bad.
My cholesterol dropped by 25% after taking Wobenzym for about a month. Others report the same results but medically speaking I can not say if the Wobenzym was a factor or not. I can see it is a factor in the healing of the toe of my son.
In short anything we can do to improve our immune system seems to help all kinds of problems. We know today a sugar load (a can of regular Coke/Pepsi) tends to suppress the effectiveness of our immune systems for up to 4 hours.
I hope your husband can learn a way to eat to help his health.0 -
Thank you once again everyone. I tend to get myself all messed up when it comes to food and questioning things. I think you are right when you say that it would be the same no matter what diet you stopped. The point is not looking at it like a diet with an end but a life style change. I think that is the important thing I need to get into my brain. I've lost lots of weight before and was not able to keep it off and of course gained even more. It is about finding a way to eat that keeps me healthy long term and is sustainable.
I can feel such a difference in my body already and it has only been a month. I have had lots of slip ups and the like but I've also learned a lot. The best part for me is that even though I haven't been "perfect" I haven't given up I have been able to just keep going and try to keep making better choices the next meal or the next day depending on what meal and all that. This really is a great woe. I think I just need to stop worrying what others have to say and do what seems to be helpful to me and my health. This is my journey after all.0 -
I don't have medically diagnosed IBD/IBS, but I had enough of the symptoms to experiment with changing my diet. I was unaware of keto, and was doing trial and error, I had cut down heavily on bread and eating much less meat - as it seemed meat gave me problems. I also realized that sugar was not good (even though I ate much less than most people) and had cut down a lot. I changed to keto for other reasons and found I could eat meat with no problems - it appears that the problem was eating meat with rice/potatoes/etc. I no longer have digestive issues.totaloblivia wrote: »I've had the "if you stop you gain weight" thrown at me, but no one can tell me a good way to lose weight that you can stop doing. I usually just tell people I'm on a restricted food plan for IBD, and that ends the discussion.
@Bob314159 , has LCHF helped your IBD? My husband has IBS and is having a flare up but won't listen if I suggest maybe cutting carbs to reduce the impact of it. I know @GaleHawkins had success with IBS stopping on LCHF but I think he said that it took 4 months to clear up. He isn't prepared to give up carbs for that long, I think, or is just sceptical that it would work. He says LCHR is too meat and dairy heavy and that gives him problems with constipation etc. I would love to hear more about your and Gale's experiences this way that might help convince him.
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Actually when I started trying to manage my pain by diet I had no idea what I was doing in an objective sense. I was flying by the seat of my pants to dodge the Enbrel bullet. I was eating keto without knowing what it was. Actually all of the pluses of eating keto continue to catch me by surprise. Google found MFP when I was trying to see if my I could correlate readings from my $15 eBay acetone analyzer and Precision Xtra blood ketone meter and since learned I can not because they measure two different things. This sub forum is where I really understood the subject of keto Way of Eating.
Like @Bob314159 it took a while to figure out what is/is not causing our problems. This forum is such an asset in working toward better health by a better Way Of Eating.0 -
RebeccaMaunder wrote: »I can feel such a difference in my body already and it has only been a month. I have had lots of slip ups and the like but I've also learned a lot. The best part for me is that even though I haven't been "perfect" I haven't given up I have been able to just keep going and try to keep making better choices the next meal or the next day depending on what meal and all that. This really is a great woe. I think I just need to stop worrying what others have to say and do what seems to be helpful to me and my health. This is my journey after all.
I love that you are being good to yourself even when you feel you haven't been perfect!0 -
lithezebra wrote: »RebeccaMaunder wrote: »I can feel such a difference in my body already and it has only been a month. I have had lots of slip ups and the like but I've also learned a lot. The best part for me is that even though I haven't been "perfect" I haven't given up I have been able to just keep going and try to keep making better choices the next meal or the next day depending on what meal and all that. This really is a great woe. I think I just need to stop worrying what others have to say and do what seems to be helpful to me and my health. This is my journey after all.
I love that you are being good to yourself even when you feel you haven't been perfect!
Yes, this WOE is the best for me. Just keep calm and keto on.0 -
Excerpted from the site SugarFreeSheila.com. Maintained by someone who has maintained her weight for over decade on a low carb (Atkins specifically) diet.
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How do you make your family and friends "get it"?
That's just it - you don't. It doesn't matter if anyone else "gets it"; these are your choices. However, if you mean, "How can I get my friends and family to take me seriously?" then there's only one way, and that is by sticking with it and being consistent. People will only take you as seriously as you take yourself - and success & long-term maintenance is like a Mute button for critics anyway.”
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