Anyone here living with a significant other making it hard to learn and live healthier?
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I like to share any information i get about food with my hubs, like all the crap the FDA allows in our food and the poor quality standards they have set, anything from research studies on carrageenan and the pasteurization of orange juice to the living environment/inhumane treatment of the animals we consume. It is quite eye opening and steadily, through the 7 years of marriage, he has got completely on the wagon. (at first he jokingly mocked my label reading and questioned why it was really important) but the more information i gave him the more he came to care. now i can send him to the store and know that he will check labels before purchasing. Like people have stated in this thread, consistency on your part is really the key. Once your BF realizes you are very serious, it's not a phase or a trend but an actual life change (and give him explanations for your choices, without being pretentious or arrogant) he will come around.1
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I'm with the poster above, whose husband jumped on the bandwagon. My S/O is not big on cooking, so we fall into the habit of eating out more, especially now that I'm not on any diet restrictions anymore.
Here's what works for us:
1.) I don't make a big deal out of food. I quietly do the shopping and most of the cooking, and choose healthier, vegetarian meals that I know he will eat. I cook dinner some nights and when I do, I make lunch so we don't have to eat out. (He cleans when I cook, so it's a win/win).
2.) I don't push healthy eating at all in my house. I don't talk about it, I don't tell him I want a change, none of that. It's like Fight Club.
3.) He sees me weigh my food and my portions are noticeably smaller on my plate. Like, half of what I used to eat. He notices and comments, but I'm eating so there's no cause for concern. He just notices.
4.) I stopped my habit of snacking mindlessly after work while we chat about our day. We still chat, but I'm not stuffing my face anymore. I'll have a bite of this or that, but I start cooking instead of eating junk. He's noticed.
As a result of these things, he sometimes comments on how I won't eat this or that, but I don't push him, and I don't ask him to change anything, so he's supportive. (He also knows how upset I am about my body changing and just wants to be supportive on principle, because he's a naturally supportive person).
And you know what? He follows my lead! He doesn't weigh his food, but I have noticed him portioning out certain things, not eating as much, and not snacking as much after work.
You can't change your BF. You can only set a good example and live your own life/make your own choices. Whether or not he follows is up to him.
Also... it feels good to be on this journey, regardless of whether the ones I love are, or are not. It's my life, my choice.4 -
My husband wasn't very supportive at first, I recently researched and switched to the McDougall Plan (also Forks over Knives.) He gave me a hard time in a funny way and continued to bring junk food in - it's been a battle but since I do most of the grocery shopping and cooking he has turned around. Yesterday, after I cooked a vegan Indian dish I told him that I wanted to go out for spaghetti while laughing! He became very serious and told me how proud of me he was for switching to a plant based diet. I don't expect him to follow me and that's okay, but at least he gave up eggs and cheese for me. Both of those are my Achilles when it comes to food!0
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My Significant Other knows that I am suffering from something, celiac, wheat-related, and I have a LOT of intestinal woes. The last couple of weeks I have really got a handle on everything and yet he is the biggest Sabateur I have known. We shop together, and when his kids are there - he wants to buy packaged cookies, cakes, ice cream cones, chips, etc. I have been so diligent in avoiding these - but it is hard! but what is hard - I'm not drinking right now - and he is constantly pushing that. He wants company when he has a drink. He is in terrific shape but that doesn't mean his insides are healthy - I can relate to all of the posters here. You just have to be true to yourself! I know it is not supportive, but when I have spoken to him about it - he always says yes he will and he then he never does. I just have to keep on saying no thank-you! Tough - especially with gluten or wheat allergies coming up - I'm being tested soon - there are so many things out there that you want to eat. I'm trying to eat as cleanly as possible too. He will have potato chips and beer for dinner sometimes - Sigh0
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My man doesn't get it. He wants to lose weight but doesn't ever TRY! I just ate a healthy lunch while he ate pizza. He will eat healthier ONLY if I buy groceries he agrees with a make a meal schedule. Even then, he wants a pint of ice cream or a piece of cake every night! I think I am going to start my meal schedule again and try to get more exercise, maybe if he sees me losing weight he will finally start being healthier.
It is sad because before we were together he ate salads and took way better care of himself.0 -
Yes!!!!! OMG he is all in with the exercise. We walk 5ks and we are doing our first 10k together in 3 weeks, but he is a junk food junky. Drives me nuts. There are just some things that I can't stay away from if they are in the house...doritos come to mind. Not a thought of if they are OK for me. Loves to eat out bww being his fave. Doesn't often puruse a menu to see if there is anything even remotely edible for someone trying to not be fat sick and nearly dead! I love the man to death but you would think a diabetic would think more about this stuff!!!0
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I feel like once you start the change yourself, your significant other will be changed as well... that's the story between me and my husband, but I'm the one who refused to change.0
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I have a similar issue, only it has more to do with my willpower than my hubby. He's always super supportive but I feel guilty when I go grocery shopping and don't bring in something that I know he enjoys. I don't want to force any changes on him and I don't try but I feel that I'm still depriving him of something if I don't bring in all the snacks and goodies. Also, if he suggests fast food and I'm really not in the mood to cook I don't even think twice about agreeing. I do notice, though, that if I cook a meal that doesn't look like rabbit food then he'll eat it without any issues. He does get upset if I don't want to eat something he made because it isn't very healthy, but I guess I can understand that. I'd be upset if I made us a meal and then he said "sorry, that's too healthy for me."0
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Yes, it's tough bc I am the one who makes dinner but I also like to be considerate and make things he'll like too. So far, the only winner we've had, has been "taco" zucchini boats. It's not like everything I cook is unhealthy but it's certainly not as clean or healthy as it could be. Then again, we also have children who can get a little picky and somethings can be a little too complex for them flavor wise. Don't get me wrong, my husband has been supportive but I know when he doesn't necessarily enjoy a meal I've made even if he says he does and is very grateful for it. And he does make dinner on occasion but it's usually burgers or hot dogs. I'd say, try to incorporate healthier items without telling them. Using ground turkey instead of ground beef. DH enjoys garbanzo tacos (meatless mondays) and it's probably one of a few vegetarian dishes that I make, that he'll eat. Including more poultry and fish, will also help out. Also, making sure to include either steamed veggies (but still crisp) or a salad with meals will help out a lot. When we go out to eat, we tend to choose ethnic food restaurants. If it's Chinese food, I'll make sure we order dishes with plenty of veggies in addition to a strictly vegetarian dish. Japanese, I happen to like sushi (not mayo or fried stuff) and sashimi which tends to be ok. When we do Mexican, it's a little tough but I'll usually just cut down on portions to make it work within my calorie goals.0
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Just a follow up from my last post.
Well it was harder for me to keep up with my side of the deal I think, so I had to get clever.
We now do freezer meals on weekends and we have a monthly meal schedule. He liked that he had input into our meals and that there is always 'junk food' in the house lol, - homemade baking, apple chips, fruit leathers etc so he wouldn't feel deprived. I think observing his relationship with food was key to me easing him into adapting to change. So now to convince him to pack a picnic and go bike riding with me.0 -
comtngal16 wrote: »It's hard for sure when our significant other chooses not to eat the way we do. I'm doing it for myself and although I wish my husband would do it with me, he has to make that commitment for himself. It took news from the doctor to pull myself together and make the commitment to eat healthy for me. Having just finished the Advocare 24-Day Challenge which was extremely difficult but it changed my lifestyle of eating and having joined a fit club and am seeing results just in 30 days. We also have two teens which makes it even more difficult but I cook healthy meals and if the three of them don't like it, I tell them to make their own. They usually end up eating and often times liking what I made. We can all do it - it will take more commitment on our part but we must do it for ourselves.
This is my approach too. I buy the groceries and plan our meals, although he does the grilling. Sometimes we have different side items, sometimes not. I do not make 2 separate meals and ask him to at least try some of my healthier eating. He goes out to lunch nearly every day, and that is his time to eat whatever he wants. I guess I'm very fortunate that while he doesn't always eat what I eat, he respects my dedication to feeling better (I have hashimoto's) and my 'weird' eating, and generally doesn't bring home junk food. I do buy him a bag or two of his favorite chips that are gluten filled, knowing I can't eat them.
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My hubby and I were just talking about this- he's actually pretty supporting and will eat whatever. He's military so he appreciates the healthy cooking and when I weight less, he does too, lol. However, i'm a feeder (and told I'm a good cook), and he is all for being fed, so we need to work on that part of our relationship- find other ways to express our love. He's gone right now, so I am able to eat simply and healthfully if I want (and I am, THIS TIME)... We are talking and strategizing on how we can be healthier together when he gets back. heck, he agreed to try my quinoa pizza crust, so maybe will be ok...
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