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I'll have to talk with my ex. He is traveling for work this week, and he usually doesn't answer emails during that time. I don't blame him in any way. She could have just as easily inherited my whacked out genetics, but he's been medicated since his 20's, and we knew when she showed signs before that it was from his side more than mine, though I've had him on the lookout since PCOS and all that mess is easily inherited due to genetic predisposition.
Definitely excited about Mood Gym. Will check it out. And it would be pretty much peer to peer anymore with her being 16 now... Thanks so much for helping, despite your own struggles. It's a huge leap and help.
I can understand you losing it with the kiddos during a flashback. But you and your hubby have kind of raised them to be dark and twisted like yourselves, right? So maybe just ask them to keep it to a minimum in the car? They are both old enough to understand the basics of why certain behaviors are certain times are better afforded, particularly if they can remind each other or take a reminder, and know that you yelling means you are stressed and hurt inside - and not that they are in trouble, etc.
I'm so sorry to hear about your gecko, but glad that your hubby seems to understand and will help. I'm sending hugs in advance.
None of those options will really help in the long run. They're all short term fixes. Hiding is bad, as it isolates you further, worsening the cycle. The harming, well, I don't have to go into that, right? And alcohol is a depressant. I wish I had better advise, but the second one isn't really a choice to make...and I know you know that... I wish there were a better choice readily available... (HUGS)0 -
Oh, goodness. Listening to this thyroid summit, and listening to a presentation on conventional versus functional medicine treatment of thyroid.
There is some evidence that taking a T3 medication is being used by psychiatrists to help with TREATMENT RESISTANT DEPRESSION...
This made me think of you ladies, in all your struggles. @carimiller7391 @maoribadger @ObesityWarrior
I don't know that you fall under this spectrum, but anyone with a chronic condition (CFS, Fibro, etc.) has skewed thyroid results. TSH should be between 0.5-1.5. Standard ranges can show up to 4 or 6 mIU/L or uIU/mL...as the upper limit, and that is an outdated scale.
Most of the standard things they talk about is getting off gluten, deal with yeast, and add progesterone/T3.
thyroidconnectionsummit.com Definitely worth a check out if you time. Free. Last day today for the first day stuff. Today is day 2. Usually they replay everything at the end.1 -
Lise, sorry you had the mental meltdown in the car with your kids. Maybe explaining now ( a few days later why you got so upset) might aide in helping them understand why you yelled and got upset. They're old enough to understand. I agree with Carly, hiding, self harm and alcohol are not good choices. Find an online game, do some art work, something creative that may help. Even if the artwork is dark... you'll be getting out your feelings.
Carly, oh my..... so sorry about your daughter. Peer to peer may be the best way to go at this point. Not even asking her what she deals with but more on the side of what you deal with and talking to her about that. Maybe you can open the conversation that way. Letting her know, because you suffer from certain issues, she may also just due to genetics or hereditary. That may open the conversation up for her to come to you.2 -
Bipolar is so *kitten* hard to live with. Hugs all round. That is all I have to say xx1
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KnitOrMiss wrote: »Oh, goodness. Listening to this thyroid summit, and listening to a presentation on conventional versus functional medicine treatment of thyroid.
There is some evidence that taking a T3 medication is being used by psychiatrists to help with TREATMENT RESISTANT DEPRESSION...
Funny you should say that as I have also read up quite a bit about that over last few hellish weeks and my next plan of action is to attempt to find a psychiatrist willing to try this on me. I am on a tiny dose of thyroid medication for borderline underactive thyroid. i want to be put on a high dose because I am a rapid cycling medication resistant bipolar case which according to my reading makes me an ideal candidate for the thyroid medication theory.
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Live for the music, music is like a massage for the soul
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLS378rCjxw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4ISFwQ5MIo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPkg2XnEmCQ
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Hiya
My usual absence apologies. I guess i did go into hiding after all. It was the safer of the options i remain harm free for 25 days and stayed sober throughout so did not raise any obstacles between me and my husband. I made the decision to jump the prozac up to forty mg two days early so am off effexor totally and on the higher dose for two days. My nurse is coming for Review tomorrow so will tell her i have upped it.
Im not sleeping well having nightmares or bizarre or uncomfortable vivid vivid dreams and dont know if its withdrawal or the prozac or me. Im also in a lot of pain at the moment in my legs and back shoulders and arms. It started with my usual ME pain when i flared up 2-3 weeks ago but hasnt gone away. Cant get into doctor til 18th november and can only take paracetamol so its a bit of an inconvenience. Mood is slowly coming up im less black and making small tentative plans. So tomorrow i have the psych nurse, occupational health thursday and counselling friday.
We euthanised our gecko and he went pretty peaceful it wasnt horrendous but did upset me as ive had the little guy twelve years and he was a cool little guy for an albino geck. Always smiled. I also spoke to the girls and they understand, have recently also explained bipolar to them, they are taking on a lot recently so i made some time to sit and do art with them and let them colour in my grown up colouring book with my nice pens which they got very excited about and i took them to soft play to burn off steam. They have also been to their nanny and granddads for four days and seem ok.
Long story but i have heard from the family of the kid that died last new years eve that affected me so bad. Came on her memorial page accident and let a candle and the family contacted me. Have kept a respectful distance but have been granted permission to visit her grave to say goodbye so am going friday before i go to counselling with a friend. I think this could be a good thing but unexpectedly seeing her photo caused me a lot of pain and upheaval which is another reason i have hidden.
On bright notes though. I am signed off til end november so am using the time as best i can. As well as seeing my nurse weekly and counsellor weekly i am engaging withwork occupational health dr tomake a back to work plan. I also have an assessment for art psychotherapy and dbt as well as dr appt about pain so busy. Have contacted and made payment offers to all debtors and before my money drops even further brought the kids their presents for xmas. We are only buying for them and not going out so Thats all done.
I am also starting a new slimming group Thurs. Its based on clean eating and low carb and is free apart from five pound for the initial booklet and though they weigh its not a group where you pay to weigh or are expected to talk you talk as much or as little as you are comfortable and they do presentations and group work on things like emotional eating, food addiction, nutrition and food labelling etc etc. Sounds like it could be a good thing.
Carly how did it go
Cari hows the job
Obesitywarrior (bob?) did your dr consider the thyroid stuff?0 -
Lise - I haven't chatted with my daughter much, if that's what you're referring to. We chatted a bit on social media last night about Halloween and such. The meeting with her about 2 weeks ago was good, but haven't really heard much since about the next time.
I'm hypomanic intermittently yesterday and today, so really unsettled, and that's after 3-4 days fairly heavy depression.
Not being able to get much answers on my health really seems to do my head in. I'm doing what I can to stay sane, but ... sanity is definitely optional.0 -
What answers on your health0
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Just basic stuff. Apparently I was really dehydrated, and have been as far back as they've checked numbers. Looked like mild concern in the kidneys, doc acted like it was nothing.
Estradiol dropped like a brick (211 down to <15 or something), testosterone dropped by more than half, but was over range before. Cortisol still over limit. Had to increase thyroid meds...AGAIN. Vitamin D skyrocketted, and I now I have to dial back to maintenance dose...drop off in B12, high in folate, just a lot of weird stuff across the board. They didn't do the full hormone panel they were supposed to do, so missing a lot of context. Insulin not great...glucose and A1C both up a bit...
Got dramatic improvement in liver numbers, though weren't bad before, now better. But Iron still in the toilet. SOOOO frustrating. It's like I trade in progress somewhere for setbacks elsewhere.
I just feel like I'm putting together a complicated puzzle, but without the picture on the box. I've got the sides together, but the corners are still missing, so I don't know how messed up I am on the sides, etc...0 -
Actually, better day today. Not done anything special but first day in a long time i could say im having a good day1
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maoribadger wrote: »Actually, better day today. Not done anything special but first day in a long time i could say im having a good day
That is awesome to hear! I have been reading your posts but I don't comment just because I can't really say that I know how you feel. I suffer from depression and anxiety but that seems so minor compared to what you are dealing with. I hope you have finally found a medicine/therapy that works for you and your family. I saw that you will be allowed to visit the grave and I think that will be a huge help in hopefully providing some closure or at least being able to move on some. Hope you have another better day tomorrow!
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maoribadger wrote: »Actually, better day today. Not done anything special but first day in a long time i could say im having a good day
That is awesome to hear! I have been reading your posts but I don't comment just because I can't really say that I know how you feel. I suffer from depression and anxiety but that seems so minor compared to what you are dealing with. I hope you have finally found a medicine/therapy that works for you and your family. I saw that you will be allowed to visit the grave and I think that will be a huge help in hopefully providing some closure or at least being able to move on some. Hope you have another better day tomorrow!
Thanks wendy. Please do post on here its become as much a check in thread as anything else now. Saw my occy health dr today who has said i can go back to work when my current note ends assuming all is well on a phased return. I also overcame my anxiety and went on my own to a new weight loss group. Its low carb fairly clean eating but a simple framework and she does presentations and group work on things like emotional eating, food addiction, nutrition and food labelling etc etc but she says its about focussing on the process and learning your own triggers etc. Theres no going round saying what you lost or gained its more like an open conversation support group0 -
Lise, those are some great wins! How do you feel about it all? You sound a little more level, but disconnected some...
I'm glad that if you get solidly level that they will support you returning to work, but just remember, you'll have to stay on top of this for years to come... (hugs)0 -
maoribadger wrote: »Obesitywarrior (bob?) did your dr consider the thyroid stuff?
Not sure what (bob?) means. I am Laura, been on and off MFP for years my old profile was Persistent soul then I lost my password and had to make this new profile.
Anyway, I spoke to my Key worker and she is going to request an appointment with psychiatrist for me. My psychiatrist abruptly retired without notice early this year then I had a temp one and when she left in June I never received the promised appointment with the new Psychiatrist. This will be my 6th Psychiatrist I think which is far from ideal as whoever it is will not know me.
I am sorry to hear that things are still so hard for you but glad you are still engaging with help so well.
Last week I was suicidal in a mixed state and hit my lowest point yet again, my manfriend came over to help get me through that. Saturday morning I woke up high as a kite on my own brain chemistry. Have spent a large chunk of my savings on impulsive manic shopping spree. In the low I did not leave my flat for 2 weeks then this week I have been buzzing around all over the place. Been to a food addicts anonymouse in recovery meeting for first time in years Wednesday evening after first spending whole day shopping. Then late I met up with my ex husband for a long over due heart to heart. Yesterday I finally made it to a monthly bipolar support group that I have been meaning to go to for 6 years. It was intense being in a room of 18 bipolar people in various states but I may go back, got chatting with another lady who had not been to the group before either. About half the group were new members. She asked to exchanged numbers so we did. I hope that was right thing to do. My last bipolar friend used to call me at all hours having meltdowns, she was an alcoholic who added huge amounts of alcohol and cocaine to her meds, I had to walk away in the end because she was just so out of control. Dealing with my own bipolar nightmare is enough. The new lady seems safe though, she is young, shy and lives with family so not likely to be snorting drugs and drowning in alcohol.
Bipolar itself is like being on drugs, it is such an unstable condition. It is so important to respect that. I am always seeking ways to add support and minimise damage. Being proactive and willing to engage with help is the only way to survive this for me. It seems like you get that too.
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@ObesityWarrior - I'm so glad you made it through your last week and are still with us. Last week was horrid for me, too, well, the end of it and beginning of this week. I'm finding myself really aligned with the moon cycles lately, and it's frustrating.
I wish you luck with your new psych. Maybe this one will be the BEST EVER...
And your wealth of experience you share with us here is ... well, worth it's weight in gold. Thanks for that.
My neighbor has an adult friend staying with her for a month, and just found out the other night that he is ADD and bipolar, so that has lead to some interesting conversations. Recommended "An Unquiet Mind" to him, and he jumped all over it in excitement. Haven't talked with him again since. @carimiller7391 suggested it to me a while back...
I wonder if any of us realizes how much stronger we all are together, just by the simple act of sharing here? It strikes me so significantly sometimes.
And Wendy @wennim, there is nothing MINOR about depression and anxiety IN ANY FORM... This is just another package for the struggle. Some of us are blessed at some times in our lives to have a smaller or less lengthy dose, but I think any of us who struggle have a piece of this lovely "pie" so to speak. Depression LIES. Anxiety LIES. Mania LIES. Our brains all LIE... Together, maybe we can peer through the fog of LIES to see a bit of reality and hope beyond...
HUGS, all.0 -
ObesityWarrior wrote: »maoribadger wrote: »Obesitywarrior (bob?) did your dr consider the thyroid stuff?
Not sure what (bob?) means. I am Laura, been on and off MFP for years my old profile was Persistent soul then I lost my password and had to make this new profile.
Hey. Sorry hope i didnt offend you. Bob is my go to name for when i Cant remember someones name, that or bernard it was essentially a poor attempt at humour. I will remember laura its my sister in laws name. I remember you as persistent soul just couldnt recall your real name then realised later its on your thread in the other group. Just going on school run will pop in and answer you and Carly properly later. Are you british or US?
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Lise, I believe Laura is UK like you, though I don't know the distances between Hove and Toothill And Westlea Ward? Is that a council or neighborhood? Or is the joke on me, being across the pond and clueless? According to FB (location) and a map, y'all are just shy of 3 hours apart...Basingstoke or Alton looking like the "straight as the crow flies" midpoint, but London or Windsor seems more accurate as a mid point... Just looking at a map, knowing nothing of the roads and such... My fiance used to live in Guildford, so it was fun to look up your towns on a map!
Thanks for the smile.
@maoribadger @ObesityWarrior0 -
Lise, so proud of you for being harm free for 25+ days. You are doing awesome. One step at a time. One day at a time.
The new job is going AWESOME!!!!!! I believe I should be able to finish my computer based training this week. I've done some on the job training also. I am loving this part time job. It's FUN. My depression has lifted, now I'm numb feeling. Not sad, not happy.... but numb. Doc seems to think over medicated so he dialed back the Cymbalta to 60mg in the morning. I'm completely off the Effexor. I, too, was having some wild dreams coming off it, so your dreams may have been detox related.
Carly, I understand the frustration. Nice analogy about the puzzle. I can relate. Stay strong girlie.......
Love ya both.1 -
maoribadger wrote: »ObesityWarrior wrote: »maoribadger wrote: »Obesitywarrior (bob?) did your dr consider the thyroid stuff?
Not sure what (bob?) means. I am Laura, been on and off MFP for years my old profile was Persistent soul then I lost my password and had to make this new profile.
Hey. Sorry hope i didnt offend you. Bob is my go to name for when i Cant remember someones name, that or bernard it was essentially a poor attempt at humour. I will remember laura its my sister in laws name. I remember you as persistent soul just couldnt recall your real name then realised later its on your thread in the other group. Just going on school run will pop in and answer you and Carly properly later. Are you british or US?
No worries, was not offended. I am british yes, live on south coast England 1
