Anyone else have an inaccurate perception of yourself?
Cadori
Posts: 4,810 Member
I've lost 33 pounds. I can see that number on the scale. I'm down almost 2 sizes, I see that in the clothes I'm wearing. I know both weight and inches have come off. Logically I know I've lost weight.
But there is a strange battle going on in my head. When I look at myself in the mirror lately, I feel like I'm even bigger than before I started. That got me thinking to the last time I attempted losing weight (HIIT and CICO) ...right at this same point I started having these same feelings...gave up and regained.
Has anyone experienced anything like this? Any advice on how to convince my brain of something that it already knows?
But there is a strange battle going on in my head. When I look at myself in the mirror lately, I feel like I'm even bigger than before I started. That got me thinking to the last time I attempted losing weight (HIIT and CICO) ...right at this same point I started having these same feelings...gave up and regained.
Has anyone experienced anything like this? Any advice on how to convince my brain of something that it already knows?
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I feel the same way. I have a lot to lose but I am almost half way there and I feel like I can't see it. Sometimes I think I do in a mirror but then I see a picture of myself and I still look so big.
I just bought jeans 2 sizes smaller, I could have went 3 but my head couldn't skip to that. It didn't seem logical, it seemed like a waste of money. 5 -
Body dysmorphia is real. We have some heavy ladies at my job, and I always feel like I'm a size bigger than them, which I am not. When I look at myself, or think about myself, I see one of those busted tubes of biscuit dough. I hate shopping and don't wear revealing clothes unless I'm working out. The thing is, it's a mental problem. I felt the same at 215lb and at 130 lb. Maybe once I hit 130s again I'll go get help.8
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Unfortunately (?) I am sort of the opposite. I look in the mirror and I'm still in my mid-20's at an excellent weight. Then I see pictures or put on certain outfits, or attempt something requiring more strength and stamina and think, OMG how and when did this happen?!?17
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I tend to flip back and forth. Sometimes I feel like I look absolutely smashing, then other times I feel worse than I did.
The biggest thing that helps me is to go back and look at pictures. I was talking to someone the other day about a picture collage I made. It went back to HS... It doesn't have my two heaviest pictures that I use for comparison, and I haven't updated it in about 4 years, apparently. There's no other way to describe it, really. I was horrified. Even though I'm the same weight or HEAVIER now, in all of the pictures in that collage, or all of them since I got heavy, anyway, I don't even look like me... I was shocked (and disgusted, honestly) at how awful I looked, when I thought I looked better, as I'd already lost weight... It's crazy. But to me, I have to go back and look at those horror show pictures...because I keep getting stuck in that loop of how much heavier I am, etc.... But I still look healthier than same weight or even lower weight from before...
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I feel the same way. I have a lot to lose but I am almost half way there and I feel like I can't see it. Sometimes I think I do in a mirror but then I see a picture of myself and I still look so big. I just bought jeans 2 sizes smaller, I could have went 3 but my head couldn't skip to that. It didn't seem logical, it seemed like a waste of money.
Thanks for sharing! Hopefully we can both get some help in replies here
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Body dysmorphia is real. We have some heavy ladies at my job, and I always feel like I'm a size bigger than them, which I am not. When I look at myself, or think about myself, I see one of those busted tubes of biscuit dough. I hate shopping and don't wear revealing clothes unless I'm working out. The thing is, it's a mental problem. I felt the same at 215lb and at 130 lb. Maybe once I hit 130s again I'll go get help.
That is exactly how I feel lately!1 -
kimberwolf71 wrote: »Unfortunately (?) I am sort of the opposite. I look in the mirror and I'm still in my mid-20's at an excellent weight. Then I see pictures or put on certain outfits, or attempt something requiring more strength and stamina and think, OMG how and when did this happen?!?
Hmmm...maybe it goes both ways?1 -
KnitOrMiss wrote: »I tend to flip back and forth. Sometimes I feel like I look absolutely smashing, then other times I feel worse than I did.
The biggest thing that helps me is to go back and look at pictures. I was talking to someone the other day about a picture collage I made. It went back to HS... It doesn't have my two heaviest pictures that I use for comparison, and I haven't updated it in about 4 years, apparently. There's no other way to describe it, really. I was horrified. Even though I'm the same weight or HEAVIER now, in all of the pictures in that collage, or all of them since I got heavy, anyway, I don't even look like me... I was shocked (and disgusted, honestly) at how awful I looked, when I thought I looked better, as I'd already lost weight... It's crazy. But to me, I have to go back and look at those horror show pictures...because I keep getting stuck in that loop of how much heavier I am, etc.... But I still look healthier than same weight or even lower weight from before...
That's a good perspective, thank you! I'll have to pull up some pictures.0 -
So in that picture, 3rd row first pic is Xmas, 2001. The next pic is 2010.
Here are 2008 & 2009 pics by comparison... I don't have anything between saved here accessibly...
July 2008
December 2008
Approximately February 2009
That last picture is a few months before my highest medically recorded weight...and I'd have to go check, but some of these are close to the weight I am now... I know I weigh close to the same now as the last pic in that third row/first one 4th row...1 -
Sometimes I wonder. I've lost a lot of weight over the last 3 years and I hear about it from people who don't see me as often. It is more noticeable to them than co-workers who see me every day (and myself). I'm almost to my goal weight and I've been hearing, on occasion, for months that "you don't need to lose any more weight." Umm... no, I know I still have fat to lose. Am I wrong? Maybe, but maybe not. I'm not sure if my perception of myself is the part that is wrong... I believe the American standard of obesity promotes the higher side of the "normal weight" range. I believe my self-awareness is fine.5
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For me, it all comes down to the pictures... I keep thinking I look the way I did back in 2012, because I'm back up to the same weight, but simply said? You can tell I'm healthier now, even if the same weight...if that makes sense?3
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I have to go back and look at my befores and durings. I still feel huge. All I see is the imperfections some days. The hanging skin and remaining fat. I still double-take when I see a reflection on accident in a door or window. I actually wore my hair down at my oldest daughter's soccer game and looked at myself in a bathroom mirror and had one of those moments. Once I recognize that as me, all I can see is the little neck wattle and the laugh lines that are no longer concealed due to excess weight.
I'd roll my eyes at myself if I weren't afraid they'd get stuck like that due to the magnitude of the eye-roll called for. I AM better than I was about it 6 months ago though. In time, I imagine I'll probably slowly become less neurotic.6 -
KnitOrMiss wrote: »For me, it all comes down to the pictures... I keep thinking I look the way I did back in 2012, because I'm back up to the same weight, but simply said? You can tell I'm healthier now, even if the same weight...if that makes sense?
Absolute sense and yes, you do look healthier. And that should be the benchmark. Thank you 1 -
@baconslave - I don't know... I think you have to do some work to become less neurotic. I know I did, at least. I did the mental work FIRST...(ETA) I didn't start losing weight UNTIL I got a little progress in my head.
Because I get frustrated that the image in the mirror doesn't match my head me... I mean, my face to cleavage zone isn't too bad... But I feel fatter now, because I'm dumpier now, like you said, loose skin and all that... Then, I go back and look at some of the more brutal, round belly "when are you DUE?" pictures... then I really realize, nope, I'm not fatter AT ALL. I think it's perspective...we get caught up and can't see the forest for the trees...
Sorry to keep bombarding y'all with pics, but this keeps me so honest and in the moment, because we ALL lose perspective... There is about 14 months between this pics....and ONLY 14 pounds...
EDITED TO ADD: What I mean by being less neurotic...I may get a little frustrated walking past a mirror out of the shower or when I'm getting ready to go to an event... But once I'm dress and at work or at an event of some kind, I don't worry about that, unless my physicality limits me in some way... That took some doing... I mean, you can see me at my gritty worsts here... It's hard to learn to love and accept THAT ME... But. I did.
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baconslave wrote: »I have to go back and look at my befores and durings. I still feel huge. All I see is the imperfections some days. The hanging skin and remaining fat. I still double-take when I see a reflection on accident in a door or window. I actually wore my hair down at my oldest daughter's soccer game and looked at myself in a bathroom mirror and had one of those moments. Once I recognize that as me, all I can see is the little neck wattle and the laugh lines that are no longer concealed due to excess weight.
I'd roll my eyes at myself if I weren't afraid they'd get stuck like that due to the magnitude of the eye-roll called for. I AM better than I was about it 6 months ago though. In time, I imagine I'll probably slowly become less neurotic.
Yes! I nit pick everything.1 -
@baconslave My mom keeps telling me I'm obsessed with my neck wattle and it's not noticeable but it is all I see some days. It's like if I don't have the excess weight to stress about then that is my new focus. It's kind of ridiculous because before I never thought twice about my neck or anyone else's. Now I meet someone and I think she's got a nice firm neck there! lol
At first I still saw myself as my old weight but like above pictures helped. I was kind of the opposite before I lost weight as to where I was always astounded to see my pictures and just never believed I was that size. Then when I lost weight for the longest time I felt fatter than I did before. Finally through pictures and sightings in mall mirrors and stuff I'm feeling at home in my new size. Also after many dressing room trips with pants that ended up being way too big because I hold up a size 3 sizes above mine and think that looks like me!2 -
I've looked at old pictures of myself and I look much bigger than I remember being. It was also helpful as I realised I put a lot of the weight on within a couple of years (2010 - 2012) rather than over much longer as I'd remembered. It was around the time I developed an interest in baking sourdough bread, sausage rolls and cakes etc. so there is some clue there...1
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@TomKershawUK - My issue was enduring an unhappy marriage and prolonged divorce... And then the damage was hard to undo!!1
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I look at pictures of myself from 2012 and think "Jesus what a fat tub of *kitten*". (265)
I look at pictures of myself from this past August and think "I looked like a skinnyfat alien". (150)
November and December of this year: "still too damned small, but some abs showing at least".(168)
I see myself now, two months into a bulk: "you are getting *kitten* fat again". (174)
Some of us will never be happy with ourselves, but in my case, it keeps me driving forward and improving.5 -
I'm down 35kg. My friends and family comment about how skinny I am now. My best friend of 25 years hugged me with tears in her eyes and said I look amazing, like a different person. I don't see it though. The mirror still shows me the same fat girl. I don't feel any different at all.5
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EbonyDahlia wrote: »I'm down 35kg. My friends and family comment about how skinny I am now. My best friend of 25 years hugged me with tears in her eyes and said I look amazing, like a different person. I don't see it though. The mirror still shows me the same fat girl. I don't feel any different at all.
Ugh, I understand. 0 -
kimberwolf71 wrote: »Unfortunately (?) I am sort of the opposite. I look in the mirror and I'm still in my mid-20's at an excellent weight. Then I see pictures or put on certain outfits, or attempt something requiring more strength and stamina and think, OMG how and when did this happen?!?
This is more how I am. But I can't get over the fact I don't currently look like that and it really, really bothers me. I'm only about 10lbs up but it really does make a difference and you can see it more easily when you're not overweight. I put on my clothes that I've had for years and I'm like omg why do I feel like I'm putting on someone else's clothes?
Oh and when I am at a lower weight I can never tell a difference *eyeroll* so yeah. None of it makes sense. Even in my pics where I am 30lbs heavier than I am now, I can't tell a difference. It's like we can see our failures more than our successes.
I know none of this makes logical sense... trust me, I know, lol. It's just what my eyes tell me.0 -
I lost 40lbs last year and made several health improvements. Now I dwell on the bags under my eyes and the onset of jowels. I like the Buddhist saying "the cup is already broken." It gets me through the middle years.3
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I see myself different from the reality - I usually buy clothes three sizes too small - hence 80% of my wardrobe does not fit. Sometimes when I see my reflexion in a mirror when I am out, for a few seconds, I do not recognise myself. I think I look like a very well known mature French actress - although I am the only one who think that. My hubby says I live in a happy bubble - it will be truly happy when I lose 34 lbs.1
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Hello, I'm new here...well not quite.....I used this site about 3 years ago and it helped me to lose and track weightloss.....i find myself in that yo-yo ride again and want to GET OFF! I don't know if its just self delusion, depression or what but I don't notice these changes until its too late. Last time I increased my protein intake massively and dropped my carbs to less than 100g per day ....this led to a kidney stone....with all that protein I needed to increase my water intake as well but didn't. Anyways, here's to no more self-delusions!3
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Strangely enough, I've had this discussion with someone else this morning, so felt I had to jump in here! I've lost 89lbs and STILL buy clothes which are too big. I'm also so used to hiding my body, that I'm loathe to buy 'form fitting' clothes.
The thing about this woe is....it works......it's the first time in my life ANYTHING has worked, so sadly, I didn't bother measuring myself at the outset, or taking photographs ( I weighed 250lbs). This is my only regret as photographs definitely prove to yourself that you certainly ARE lighter! Huge thanks to KnitorMiss for her chronology......WOW. !!!! :-) The only other tip I could offer to newbies is BELIEVE the weight will disappear and don't waste money buying clothes which are one size smaller....you'll shrink far faster than you anticipate!!2 -
I have to say I don't feel or see myself as fat as I actually am- it's only when I look in photos that I feel massive, which feels a bit odd - there are times when I am walking down the road and can't catch my breath because I am fat, this disappears when I have lost weight in the past so I know the weight I am is having a huge effect on my health and lifestyle.
I know that LC works for me - the lower the better but I struggle with my mindset at times, as though I do not deserve to be slim, this is something I am going to have to work out to get where I want to be.0 -
Hi Cadori, thought this was just me, I'm now at goal weight of 7 st 7lb im only 5" 1 and I still see fat girl, especially when I look down at my body, I've still got a belly and its more ugly, wobbly and loose (something to work on new goal, tone up) and although I'm in a UK size 6, I often pick a dress up and go " wow I'll never fit into that " then I do, I guess its our brains perception of how we look, like if I go over my carbs and cals for the day I'm afraid I'll wake up at 12 stone again the day after, weird I know but I think it must be that we've been bigger most of our lives rather than slim and this is what we still see, it apparently takes a year or so to get used to the new you, in my case by that time I've put weight back on so my brains not had enough "slim time" although I'm hoping now I've found low carb I can keep it off as I don't feel deprived, starving and hangry any more.3
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Have to add my perspective on this topic. For me I have been steadily losing weight every week since I started focusing on fat loss November 22nd 2016. I was 283 lbs. and as of Monday I'm down to 248. I know I'm healthier, I know I'm leaner, I know I enjoy my new woe. The statement you are your own worst critic definitely rings true for me. I workout in sweatpants and sweatshirt or fleece because all the damn mirrors in the gym. (I workout at like 2am and have the gym to myself)I avoid the mirror at home except on my weigh-in/picture day because early on in would look at every angle of my body every day hoping to see the slightest improvement and never noticed any changes. I have made pretty drastic changes but I would imagine even if I was built like a Greek statue Ime and only me would find flaws. I'm working on being happy with the changes I have made so far and try to be less obsessed with an end goal and realize there is no end. There is no waking up one day looking at the scale and poof I've crossed the finish line and it's finished. Or looking in the mirror and saying there... I'm perfect LOL. I do see the changes in my progress pictures I take every week and that motivates me tremendously. Looking down at myself though, and even the mirror the weigh in day I am disgusted and think I'm getting bigger until I put the picture next to the previous week. My advice or what helps me, is only get a weight once a week or even avoid a scale if you prefer. Take a picture every week or even every other week and compare it to the previous weeks picture. Avoid the daily mirror self critique if you do this. Helps me at any rate. Oh yeah, and don't quit..... like ever.4
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Yeah, I do that all the time. The thing I found to be helpful is to take monthly progress photos (I try to do it in the same outfit - short shorts and a sports bra so I can really see). I don't share these photos with ANYONE but when I'm feeling like I'm making no progress I look at them and it proves that I am, indeed, making progress and I'm not the 200 lb girl I was before.4
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