I hate it when I am constantly told "you need to eat more than that, you will get sick, you you you blah blah blah"....

I went from eating nearly 2500 to 3000 calories a day to 1500-2000. HUGE improvement. And right now I feel like I want to do some sort of fasting because I want to - not because of any other reason. I suffer from chronic migraines and the simplest thing can set it off, but I need to do this. I need to loose the weight in order for my other issues to stop.

Yes I realize that I am going to be hungry and that I will want to give in and eat everything in sight. I just hate it when people say "you can loose weight another way" or "that doesn't work" or the best one "Dr.Oz says you need to just do this"....

I have failed on this journey so many times that this time I know what I have to do. If I feel deprived then I alter my week and go from there. In 51 days I have lost 8.4 pounds (TOM gained back 3 pounds -sigh) and I have done it by listening to my body and tracking every single thing, even when I did not want to see what my intake was for the day.

Thanks Jirachii!

My husband has 50ish pounds on me and continues to eat full family sized bags of chips, large amounts of pie, sweet teas from take out and other things and does nothing to better himself. It scares me because he was born with a heart problem and while currently his heart is okay, it will not be able to sustain that weight forever.


I saw that you are drinking 100 oz of water every day? Hope that is going well for you! I try to get in as much as I can without feeling flooded, if you know what I mean. I am a big coffee drinker so I have cut back on that some and replaced it with a little more water. I already go to the bathroom 25 times a day so it is not like that is going to be a big influence on me, ahahaha

Ahh, to be honest I can only seem to keep up the 100oz of water thing up to three or four days in a row. I've been fluctuating from drinking tons of water and hardly drinking any at all.

And yes I completely understand the situation in which someone you care about knows their habits will kill them but won't change. My step dad is probably 400+ pounds. He has diabetes, has had a heart attack and has stints in his heart. He does landscaping as his job, so lots of physical labor. However, he consumes EVERYTHING, with no regard to what he's eating, and it's going to kill him. I remember when I was younger, we'd stop by the gas station and he'd down an entire half a gallon of chocolate milk right there in 30 seconds. I honestly think he's in denial. If you mention it to him he goes on about how much exercise he gets. But then he goes and eats fast food every day and 3 helpings at dinner. He has to kind of waddle to walk, and it's really sad, but he doesn't see it. Lately he's been having issues with limb numbness and chest pains.

Eventually, that person will need to come to the realization on their own, I fear. If you want a true lasting effort, they need to actually care. I remember crying to my mom about her smoking and while it made her feel bad for a day, she made no effort to stop. He gets mad when you mention his weight, and so did I just a month or so ago. Ironically, it was my mom constantly bugging me about my weight. Now I'm trying to get her on the bandwagon.

I *am* having some success with getting my mom to be at least more conscious. Right now she weighs less than me, but I notice she becomes more nervous with every pound she gains and every pound I lose, so I think I can get to her. Basically I've been educating her about TDEE, macros, the 3500 calorie estimate, and she hates me for this, but I've been saying out loud how many calories are in what she's eating sometimes. (3 pieces of Rico's pizza? 1600 calories!!!) I got her to sign up for MFP and log *one* day haha. And only because every time I lose a few pounds she makes comments about "needing to do what (I'm) doing".

If he's someone who won't shut you out instantly when you talk about weight, educate him! Try to get him to sign up! Tell him that it's not all salads and chicken, and that he can still eat whatever he wants but that he just can't hit the limit. Show him some before and after pictures of extreme weight loss. (Those really inspired me on day 1)

If he *does* shut you out, he's likely in denial. I've heard doctor visits can sometimes wake them up, but otherwise I don't know how to reach them. I was pretty unreachable myself, then.

Yea Jirachil, in the future I'll need to just buy a single candy bar when I'm satisfying the urge. No more stockpiling. On the whole I'm good not having candy, but it is one of my major weaknesses. The "you can't have just one" Pringles commercial was definitely for me.

I'm good on compromise when it comes to treats I found that I could tolerate stevia, so I'll make treats with it to cut down on the calorie intake, or look for healthier recipes, such as black bean brownies. Last week was my birthday, and while I know my mother was rolling her eyes when she made the cake, I had her use a cake mix, but use yogurt instead of oil, and no icing - I bought fat free coolwhip and halo top ice cream and put strawberries on it. Unfortunately, she put the whole 5.3 oz of yogurt instead of just 1/4 cup like the directions said (she claimed it needed more moisture) and I found out she put stevia blend on the strawberries *sigh*

I worked hard last week to compromise with her and dad, and while I was off diet and didn't log last week, I don't think I went too badly overboard. My mom tries to be supportive, or at least, she thinks she is, but when they are up and I cook my diet foods, I get this look that tells me she doesn't like it. And she made the comment that "you're not going to convert me to your diet food". I did find it much, much harder to cook with them up. when I'm cooking just for myself, I'll portion out exactly what I plan to eat and put the rest in the fridge or freezer; mom did some of the cooking (it was my birthday, so that was here treat) but she doesn't bother portioning or paying close attention to what she puts into her food. She's always said she couldn't understand why we as a family were so heavy, especially considering how hard she and dad works, but won't see that she's jacking up the calories by how she fixes what she cooks and by the portion sizes. My mom is heavy on carbs - she'll have corn and potatoes in the same meal, and they eat lots of potatoes, pastas, corn, that sort of thing.

And while she thinks she's being supportive, she often says and does things that are the exact opposite, though she can't see it. She was talking to my brother the other day, and I heard her say on the phone, "you and Bridget (me) are just big people. Bridget's not going to lose much more weight; you and she are just built to be big people." talk about supportive, huh!

Last week, my brother announced that he's giving up dieting, claiming that he's read that only 5% or less of people who managed to lose a lot of weight keep it off, and that the other 95% gain it all back and then some in a few years after losing it, and since he's yoyoed for quite some time, he's decided to go have bariatric surgery. He knows my thoughts on that, but I've told him its his decision and he'll have to live with it, because he wants to do the old style bariatric and not the sleeve or band, and there's no going back from that. My brother is the kind that thinks that his way is best, and he was working on this carb cycling diet and workout rotations, and when we'd talk diets, he'd always claim I needed to do it his way, that he'd tried my way, and it didn't work. I hated getting lectured by him, especially since I've found that simple calorie counting DOES work for me, and has been the only thing that has ever worked for me. The difference is this time around, I'm trying to eat more mediterranean style, and I hope my thyroid issues are settled so that I can get the weight off and keep it off. And though he promised not to keep bringing it up and I've already asked him NOT to harp on the bariatric surgery to me because I have looked at the pros and cons of it and don't consider it an option I"m willing to take, he's already started, and has been since his wife did it last year. He gets passionate about things he's made his mind up on!

And Jirachi, I understand about your step dad completely. My Ex-roommate was the same way. She was as large or larger than me, and could never understand why she couldn't loose weight when she worked so hard at work, but wouldn't see that it was her eating style. She'd skip meals at work, woudlnt' take her breaks, and often only ate 1 actual meal a day. BUT that meal would consist of a super-sized triple wendy's cheese burger with a large frosty, not to mention the whole bag of chips and the 12 pack of coke she'd drink in a day. Or the other snacks she kept at her desk when she was home. And the only exercise she got WAS at work; at home, all she did was sit in front of the computer, the tv, or she'd sleep.

But you're right - there was no point in trying to get her to see her unhealthy lifestyle, because until she was willing to make the change, all it would do would be to lead to resentment. But when she was rooming with me, it made it hard on me, because of the snack foods kept in the house. It's been much easier to stick to it now that she's moved out and I'm living by myself!

I have been looking into it a lot over the last few years, and I'm not sold on it either. For me, that's too drastic and I'm not willing to make that kind of life-long commitment in such a way. I understand that for some people, that surgery is the last option they have before death, but I'm not in that situation yet, and would rather lose it through diet and exercise if at all possible - that has the least amount of side effects!

here's hoping that I can keep losing, and that I don't gain it back this time! *crosses fingers*

you are right - I call it a diet, but it can't just be a "diet". That implies temporary. I realize this has to be a new way of eating, a change in lifestyle - which is a whole lot harder! I can't eat the way I used to eat, and I can't go back to that. I can't eat the way I was raised, either. I love the old fashioned, country style cooking, but I don't live on a farm, and I'm not hard, physical labor from sun up to sun down, either. I have to eat according to my current lifestyle, and my lifestyle is sedentary. When the warmer weather gets here, I'll be doing some work outside, and if I get the new job I applied for, I'll be moving, so there will be lots of painting, packing, unpacking, the whole bit, but still, my over all lifestyle is sitting. I have an office type job, and I spend most of my time either sitting at a desk or sitting in my car driving all over creation.

And if I can't resist it, then I must avoid it! which is why I have no chips, crackers, cookies, or other snack food in my house

bmeadows380 wrote: »

you are right - I call it a diet, but it can't just be a "diet". That implies temporary.

I have a hobby of working with people to meet short term financial goals, or just to get their finances in order (not long term planning). I don't typically charge for it, long story. But I learned a lot with this and it's similar here.

I refuse to call it a budget because people flip out and find a budget restricting and think of all they cannot buy or do. I call it a spending plan. It's the same &*$^% thing. But it says spending in the name so people are way more relaxed and more interested in taking advice. Semantics, yep. But whatever works to get past the psychological roadblocks is fine with me.

So no, it's not a diet. It's just you eating food. That's all.

But call it a diet and people's heads explode. Maybe they feel you are judging them when they know the foods you choose to avoid are their main staples, so they are judging you probably as a defense mechanism. Or they are scared you will succeed and they will have to face that they are wrong and that is hard.

To be clear, I'm NOT a people person. I don't like being around them and don't trust them. So with that said.....I believe that the comments made are simply a reflection of what's going on in their minds about themselves, as most people are typically only thinking about themselves.

So if you choose to avoid the traditional foods they eat they see that as you rejecting them and their choices. People are making your choices about themselves. Whatever, fine. They can be as narcissistic as they'd like, even subconsciously so. But when they open their mouths, well, that is when the polite closed lipped smile comes into play, accompanied by an unemotional stare and a hefty awkward silence. It says all you need to say without uttering a word (eg can't have your words used against you).

With all the discussion about other people's reactions to your new way of eating, especially @bmeadows380 story about her birthday cake, I have to share a conversation I had a few years back with my favorite aunt when my husband and I were at her house and lunch was being served.

It started with my cousin making steamed green beans. My aunt kept offering ranch dressing to put on them! We fended off that fat attack, but then it was time for dessert.

Aunt: I have cheesecake!
Me: Oh, no thank you, we're stuffed.
Aunt: But I bought it for you. Don't you like cheesecake?
Me: Yes, we like cheesecake, we just don't want any.
Aunt: How about Ice cream?
Me: No thank you, we're fine.
Aunt: But I bought strawberries.
Me: Okay, we'll have some strawberries.
Aunt: With whipped cream?
Me: No thank you.
Aunt: With ice cream?
Me. No, just strawberries.
Aunt: With cheesecake?

We ate cheesecake.

omgstfualready wrote: »

To be clear, I'm NOT a people person. I don't like being around them and don't trust them.

I can agree with that When I was in college, my life philosophy became "people are stupid". My friend at the time told me I was being too cynical. 13 years later, after she has worked in the service industry all this time, she looks at me and says I was right - and she wants to add to it "people are stupid and self-centered." lol

Though I think of myself as a realist, I think I do often slide way too close to that cynical line. I figure if you expect and prepare for the worst from people, you get to be pleasantly surprised if they prove you wrong.


@LadyLilion : yep, your story sounds familiar! My mother actually told me " you can go off your diet for one day".

I am a complete foodie! I enjoy cooking,I enjoy eating and, I enjoy feeding other people! A lot of my friends like to go out to eat ( of course they are all skinny and can eat whatever they want). So it's hard for me not to go out to eat with everyone because then I feel left out or go and eat a salad while they eat steak and cheese fries - it's a struggle

abbelina04 wrote: »

I am a complete foodie! I enjoy cooking,I enjoy eating and, I enjoy feeding other people! A lot of my friends like to go out to eat ( of course they are all skinny and can eat whatever they want). So it's hard for me not to go out to eat with everyone because then I feel left out or go and eat a salad while they eat steak and cheese fries - it's a struggle

I feel ya. I am a professional cake designer and every day I am around sweets and carbs. I love what I do, it's my passion. At first it was a real challenge, especially to stay in ketosis without sampling what I'm making. I'm a foodie as well and love to cook. Only now, I'm adapting my recipes to be keto friendly and it's been so fun tbh. It's giving me a challenge to recipe test and make things as delicious as possible while still keeping in my nutrition goals. I've found that eating out isn't as scary anymore either. I used to be shy or awkward about asking for substitutions or customizations. But I realized that I shouldn't care about things like that because in the end, my decisions and choices are mine to make and ultimately effect me not other people.

I agree with you anna, and won't flame you When it comes down to it, as long as you eat less calories than what you burn in a day, you will lose weight, regardless of what you eat - but eating certain ways may help you stave off hunger, get a better nutrition profile, etc. But what that is is different for different people. The last time I lost a significant amount of weight, I wasn't paying so much attention to "what" I ate, instead just focusing on "how much". This time around, I'm trying for a healthier lifestyle of eating, but both ways have had results.

So all I'm saying is that there may be other methods other than keto that will also work for you, and that you can try while you're in the situation you are. So maybe loosening up on the carb limit and focusing on calorie limit and exercise may still work for you while you're in this situation that is beyond your control. Keep trying the different ways you mentioned - you'll eventually hit on one that will work!

I read an article not long ago on self-control, where specialists have done studies that have indicated that we humans have a finite limit of self-control in a day, meaning that we can get fatigued, fighting ourselves all the time, and this sets us up for failure. And I've found this true in my own life - Each time I firmly tell myself no, the part of me that I'm arguing with, the part that wants that cupcake or that wants to put a little sugar in my tea, or wants that second helping of mashed potatoes gets a little louder, a little stronger, while the part of me that wants to lose weight and eat healthier gets a little more fatigued. And if I can't remove myself from the temptation, I find that eventually, I'll cave. (for example: the cupcakes that sat in the lunchroom at work for 2 days; I resisted until the afternoon of day 2 when I could resist no longer - but thankfully, I waited until there were only 2 left, so I limited myself to only 1!)

the trick I'm slowly learning - and its still a learning process for me and a roller coaster of wins and loses - is to learn how to compromise with myself. And the hardest part for me is even giving myself permission to compromise!

So don't beat yourself up if you caved and had some potato chips - like you said, dust yourself off, keep trying, and most importantly, be kind to yourself and encouraging to yourself! I know from experience that beating myself up over a failure only leads to more failure. Keep trying! You'll get there!