I, of course, will pop in with political view of this situation. When one person is the heavier, the smaller one has certain privileges. Like being an authority or is given deference because they are "the more ideal". A shift in power or position is often (even if only subconsciously) unwelcome. If the roles have flipped It's possible that in searching for the new equilibrium your friend is trying to find an area of superiority and authority over you. It would very conveniently negate your hard work if you did it "at the expense of bbq your health". People jockey for position and compete in all kinds of ways, and this includes intimate relationships. I'm not saying this is happening, but consider the possibility that some of these things could be in play. If you think that's possible, (and you want to keep the relationship), maybe imagine ways you could each maintain your status and reduce competition. However, also consider that some people find friends, often subconsciously, that they don't have to intellectually consider as equals to bolster their own self esteem. Maybe it's just not a good fit for anyone anymore and this is just the beginning.
Best of luck to you with whatever you do and whatever comes. In any event it's got to be stressful and hurtful. Chin up and keep doing what is best for you.

I don't know why we have to compete with eachother, but it's not just women. YouTube has a whole fitness section and a lot of the big (as in sub count) people in that group have videos talking about how their weight loss has made making friends easier, but at the cost of some of their old friends. I know Obesetobeast mentioned how he lost friends because he was no longer the funny fat self deprecating friendzone dude. (He was over 300 pounds and his high school nickname was cupcake. He mentioned having a different persona with people who called him cupcake that he lost over time.) Self-confidence will scare some people away.

If you feel like it may be hurting your friendship, maybe just not talk about your health life with her. I'd personally find that hard because it's so fun to talk about your success, but part of why I try to participate in the MFP community is because my friends don't like to hear about it for some reason ^^"

I'm sorry there's tension between you guys about the matter. I hope it works ou for you

My biggest problem is I don't understand health and nutrition (thankfully my dr is referring me to a nutritionist). I log all my foods and drinks and make sure I exercise daily (try to burn at least 1/2 of what I eat). I try to get 10,000 steps in a day (thankfully I have my Fitbit to help keep track). I don't understand good carbs vs bad carbs. Which meats are good vs what meats aren't. I guess I will learn that as time goes by. My other biggest problem is water. I hate water! But i drink 150ozs of water a day (1/2 my weight in ounces, per my dr). I force myself to drink it even if I don't want to. I notice i drink more when I'm exercising. My other weakness is Diet Coke! I love Diet Coke. I was drinking 2 2 liter bottles a day (yes that is correct, 2 2 liter bottles a day!!!)! I kicked that habit this week (when I decided to get back on my weight loss journey again). I only give myself 1 12oz per day (maybe 2 if I'm having a sluggish day, but I double my water and take in an additional 48 ozs if I have 2 servings). First day alone (Monday to Tuesday) I dropped 10lbs just from kicking out soda. I also have trouble eating my calories (2,000). I struggle to get to 1,200. Today is my birthday and I know the kids want to have cake and ice cream and believe me, I want it too. But I think this year I have to avoid it because I don't think I'm strong enough to say no (even after 1 piece). I'm only on day 4 of weight loss journey. 1 day at a time. I know nothing is going to magically happen overnight and I have to keep working at it. I know that as time goes by I will figure out what works for my body and what doesn't. I was going to only step on the scale Monday mornings, but I found myself stepping on it every morning and I have just hurt myself...Monday to Tuesday I lost 10lbs. Wednesday to Thursday I gained 4 back...stepping on that scale daily is another problem for me. Maybe I will send my scale to my moms on mondays and have to walk over on Sundays to get it. Lol. I have no will power.

NYMama - Welcome and Happy Birthday! Get cupcakes - and only enough for you and the kids to each eat one. Buy a pint of ice cream - which is 4 servings. If you don't buy enough for left-overs, you won't have it to tempt you.

150 oz a day of water is a TON! Seriously, I do good to get in 10 cups that that's almost 19. Bravo! I put crystal light liquid in mine to make it more palatable. Don't do the scale every day - just don't. It'll make you crazy. I do it twice a week and that's too much. I just took a challenge to not weight for a month, starting next Monday. I may lose my mind, but I'm going to try very hard to not weigh at all.

Have a great birthday.

I've heard great things about the halo top peanut butter flavor! I want to try them but man they're expensive!

Also, good carbs vs bad cards: there isn't really any "bad" carbs, but there are simple and complex carbs. Complex carbs take longer to turn into fat, and that is why they are "good." Plus, the foods that have them tend to be lower in calories in general imo.
Simple Carb examples: Potatoes, White Rice
Complex Carb Examples: Sweet Potatoes, Brown rice.
In the end, if you're moving, carbs are carbs, and you can have that white rice if you want. Just be aware that if you overeat on carbs, you might be holding onto more water weight than you'd like.

"Which meats are good"
It is recommended that we mostly eat lean meat. This is basically poultry and fish. I don't like fish. Chicken and turkey, basically. Chicken is full of protein and so it can be super filling, plus it passes through your body easier than red meats.

The "bad" meats would be red meat. Beef and anything else served still pink and bleeding. You don't need to eliminate red meat from your diet, but if you eat it regularly, you might benefit from cutting back and replacing with vegetables or lean meat. I still eat beef at least twice a week, but I would cut back if I had control over my family's dinner meals. (This household LOVES ground beef.) Imo when we cook with red meats, the food is 1. Overall higher in calories, 2. Has much more fat than lean meat 3. Is really delicious and tempts me to overeat.

On a side note: beans are an amazing source of protein. I'm going to be eating so many beans when I eventually do my meat two days a week plan.

I'm not at all a nutritionist, so their opinion should be much more valued, but I hope I helped explain it a little

It was never my intention to state that red meats were "bad", hence my use of quotations. I was just explaining that most people recommend lean meats.
And I don't believe fats are bad at all! Just that red meats generally have more fat.
As for carbs, if you're not on a low to no carb diet, eating them in moderation is perfectly fine. There are plenty of nutritious carby foods that'll give you energy. Complex carbs are preferred because they siphon into your body slower, avoiding spikes, and take longer to turn into fat. I also have very little sugar, mostly getting it from the occasional banana or morning oatmeal. I don't eat sugary snacks, and it is extremely rare that I ever have dessert.
But carbs aren't *necessary*, I'd agree. Plenty of people do perfectly fine getting their energy from fats (Keto). However, if you're someone who doesn't overeat on carbs, I don't really know why you couldn't say they are good?

It is absolutely about what works for each individual. You don't have to eat lean meat over red meat. You can eat carbs, or not eat carbs. Just make sure to log and try to hit your goals. Once again I will state that I'm not a nutritionist. If they say something that contradicts what I've said, ignore me 100%.

Ahhhh I forgot to say happy birthday!!!

Sodium is fine as long as you don't have blood pressure issues. Drink enough water. If you have extremely higher sodium days, it can lead to the scale not "cooperating" but then again that's retaining water and not actual fat gain (assuming youve been eating at a deficit. That said...Sodium is not evil though.

Water intake is my issue. I drink coffee in the morning. Love unsweetened plain ice tea in the afternoon. Can ice tea count as water?

I've been told that liquid is liquid, even it's its sweetened. It's still pretty much water, and iced tea is pretty much just flavored water and not any different than if someone put crystal lite into their water. It doesn't matter if its sweetened or not - it still counts as liquid. You could actually dump a Tbsp of sugar into a glass of water and it would still count as your water intake.

The point is to increase your hydration - most people put a huge focus on water, thinking it has to be only water, but that's simply not true. Most drinks available are mostly water anyway. The reason you want to steer clear of sweetened drinks isn't because it doesn't count as liquid intake but because the added sugar has calories and counts toward your calorie limit, not to mention the health consequences of the added sugar. You don't want to drink a huge chunk of your calories. And a lot of studies are starting to point to bad effects of artificial sweeteners, too and their part in obesity, so it's just a plain good idea to limit the sweet stuff no matter whether its natural or artificial.

So health experts point people to water because its healthy and calorie free and because being properly hydrated is good for your body and in helping you control hunger cravings. But that's not to say that it HAS to be water. Coffee, tea, bai fruity drinks and other liquids absolutely count toward your water intake during the day - believe it or not, even soda pop counts, actually (you want to limit pop because of all the chemicals and additives in it that is harmful to your health, and because of the sweeteners in it, but it still is mostly water.) Several recent studies have linked tea and even coffee to positive health effects, and the diuretic effect of caffeine is actually mild, so caffeinated drinks do still count toward your hydration goals. The thing is, for some people, too much caffeine can cause migraines and have other effects, so know yourself and what you can tolerate.

Here's a link from the mayo clinic:

http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/nutrition-and-healthy-eating/expert-answers/caffeinated-drinks/faq-20057965


For me, I absolutely count my coffee and tea intake. I usually have 1 Bai bubbles drink a day and 1 bai bottled drink - that's 27 oz of liquid and only about 15 calories. I limit myself to one 16 oz cup of coffee a morning if I just must have a caffeine hit because I can't drink coffee black - I can't stand it that way!, and I drink probably 32 to 48 oz a day of unsweetened black tea - I can drink a half gallon of unsweet black tea in a day if it's fresh. In fact, I probably only drink about 16 to 32 oz of strictly water in a day. I'm learning to recognize the signs my body gives me on when I am not hydrated enough, but I've also seen that it doesn't matter whether its strictly water or not; I just need liquid.

Thanks everyone on your input. I think I will not count my coffee because I put sugar and skim milk in it. But my ice tea in the afternoon I will count. It's unsweet and brewed from black tea and with lots of ice. I'm now starting the day with a big glass of water, so I am improving the water intake. I guess it's all a work in progress.

I drink a lot of sparkling water with ice ... that is what takes away the thirst ... regular water I need to learn to like it and need it ... improving but should drink more.

I also only log my water for that reason. I'm hesitant to log other things because the water I take is meant to hydrate and cleanse. Other drinks might add more stuff. That's how my mind sees it anyway. I've also found it easier to enjoy water simply by changing what I drink it out of. I got one of those 32 oz bottles with the straws that fold in and out and I can drink half of it without realizing!

hmbuck1 wrote: »

I'm really struggling with emotional eating. I plan my day out, leaving myself with a little wiggle room in my calories and I end up eating all kinds of crap in the evenings after a long day. I need to figure out how to stop. And soon.

Consider reducing you loss target, till you feel satiated and can stick with your meal plan - dieting is admittadly hard BUT shouldn't feel like self-torture. You could also experiment with your macros, maybe add more fat and protein. I've had to give up most processed carbs.

Oh, and if the emotions you are dealing with are negative ones, I'd also suggest finding something to help lift your spirits and help you feel better. Laughter really is good medicine!

Some suggestions would be prayer or relaxation, focusing on activities that bring you pleasure or a sense of accomplishment, avoiding stressers such as the news (if the news brings you down, it might be best to avoid it) or abrasive social media. You could watch a funny or uplifting movie or video - find cute videos of kids or pets or whatever (just don't read the comments below!), or play a game you enjoy, call up a good friend to chat, go for a walk in a place that helps lift you up - that either energizes you and makes you feel better or that helps relax and calm you.

Or read a book to escape reality for a while or put on your favorite music.