No way am I hitting my goals this month, this week has been a disaster and I've been way over more than I've been under. It just lost steam and motivation.

Some idiot backed into my new car at a stop sign Tuesday, less that 5,000 miles on it and they busted up my front bumper and hood. I'm more mad than anything, I bought the car in October, barely drove it with our crappy winter and spent the whole last month getting some recall work done on it. I finally had a trip to take with it this weekend other than between home and work. Never had a new car before, or even anything that wasn't bought off of Craigslist for $1500 and newer than 1998. It just ticks me off that someone had to be an idiot and now I can't even cruise around it when I finally get a chance. Then getting a rental coordinated has been a challenge, I think I can finally go pick it up tonight. All of this while in a hormonal spiral to that TOM. I'm over it, told my hubby we were having ice cream for dinner last night!

It'll be a miracle if I can straighten things out and not have a gain this week. Guessing I'll end up about 256-257 for May, was hoping for 253. Only about 3 pound down this month.

I think part of the problem is losing focus and motivation. I go from being crazy excited to TTC to thinking maybe we'll never be ready or I shouldn't even be considering it at this point. But at the same time, my husband is 48, I really don't want to wait any longer for his sake. I was there, I was down to 175, healthy and ready 3 years ago...but no other aspect of our life was ready. Now most everything else is ready but I gained so much weight back. Life sucks sometimes....don't mind me and my pitty party! lol

So, hopefully I can pull my head out and make June better than the last part of May. Perhaps a little Pendleton or a few Margarita's can set me straight this weekend!

One the plus side, I'm done calving out cows and it's time to start breeding. Check out this cutie that was the last one born.

I started out the pregnancy at 162.5 and am up to 165.5, so 3 pounds gained at 13 weeks. I swear about half of that has to be in my boobs! My bra still fits, but they are noticeably bigger and heavier, so it probably won't fit for long!

My doc said she recommends about a 25 pound gain for me, so I'm hoping to focus on exercise and portion control (as much as possible)...but if I want a cookie, I'm going to eat it! I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend!

@SheilAnneSmith I totally missed your post! Im sorry to hear that life is a bit rough with your weight right now--I get it girl! Just do your best and forget the rest. Stressing out over it and beating yourself up wont help either. And omg, that totally sucks about your car?! Ugh, I would be soooo mad too. Sounds fixable but who wants to go through that?
The cow is so cute, do you live on a farm?

@sheilannesmith wow! 100 acres, thats amazing! I would LOVE to live on a farm! Are you full time farmers, or do you have other jobs? That sounds like full time work to me, what a lovely life I have a small garden for some produce, but cant count on it for food. Last year we planted on a whim, and ended up with mostly zucchini to eat. This year due to my back injury I planted late (plus its still so cold, summer, where are you?!) and scaled back a little bit. Some basil, tomatoes, peppers and zucchini.

That's so funny that you're TTC in cow terms Good luck breeding!

May 1st 147
May 5th 145
May 19th 145
May 26th 145.9
May 31st 144.4

Goal weight end of May 145 - goal met!

Back on track! Need to be much more strict when logging next month to avoid a mid month gain again.

So I've been pretty much nonexistent in this thread because I wanted to try something different this month. Instead of making goals and not reaching them or making plans and not doing them, I decided to just see what I could do this month and I'm rather pleased with the results.

May 1st: 205
May 31st: 201.2

I've managed to end every week in a deficit. Some weeks didn't have as steep of deficits as the others but this is the first time in a long time that I've been able to be in a deficit consistently so that in itself is a huge win in my book. haha

What I decided to do this month was set a minimum amount of steps to get in (this has kept me more active), a goal for calories burned for the day on FitBit and to look at the week as a whole (or the month if necessary) to ensure that I end it in a deficit. Doing it this way has given me the ability to have a day or two where things may not go as planned (hungrier that day, special occasion, etc) and I can still salvage it during the week or over the month if necessary so I don't miss out on anything but I'm still able to work toward my goals. I learned rather quickly though that I still have to keep things in check and that I need to be in a deficit more often than not in order for this to work but so far it seems to have given me the balance I need to move forward so yay! haha

TL;DR: I had a successful month. haha

For all those that had a good month, awesome job! For all those who struggled, keep at it! you've got this!