I came across EM2WL several years ago. I jumped right in and was so excited to get to eat more! I had been a binger for as long as I can remember so I had no trouble adding a good 1200 calories or more to my day. I exercised a lot but worked on a more reasonable amount (such as only once a day and not 1 1/2 hr sessions) and added actual weight lifting, not just swinging around weights. But I gained. And gained and gained. 6 months, 20+ lbs, and 3 sizes bigger later I couldn't take it mentally. I tried lessening my workouts even more so I could eat a little less and anything else I could think of but the lbs wouldn't budge.

After about a year I panicked, stressed, binged more often, and pretty much gave up. I learned to appreciate resting and giving my body a break and keeping weights in my routine. I eventually lost the weight I gained but that was it. Then my family and I moved to Louisiana, the land of the littles! I'm a corn fed Midwest Iowa girl, bigger and taller than a lot of the men here! The Acadians in the south are tiny people! I felt so large. The humidity doesn't help! I started the 21 day fix and loved it. No more calorie counting, focusing on a more macro level. I got smaller. This Year I started gaining. I had started a new job where I was on my feet from 8:30am until sometimes 6:30pm and rarely got a lunch. I was eating much less but gaining. I'm in a run group that meets at a bar then after your run the first beer is free. A few weeks back a friend half my size showed me her food calories for the day but still hadn't added her alcohol calories. All my calories combined where just above her food calories alone, before her alcohol ( she's a drinker) I pulled up MFP again and calculated what I should be eating at a 10% deficit. I was consuming at BMR or less.

I could barely make it to 1800 calories. I felt sick and awful. Even having trouble getting my protein to go down. After a few days wondered if this was even going to happen, but then I noticed my left knee wasn't giving me trouble anymore. Maybe a little tightness occasionally but 95% better after what, 3 or 4 years of issues? The next morning I realized....if I can get a little real here a minute, that I was having bm's like a person is suppose to. So I kept up with working my way up to my deficit calories. I stopped having more than one mug of coffee. I feel clear headed, like a fog was lifted. I am more awake and much less exhausted, needing less time to talk myself into starting my day in the a.m. My flexibility is coming back, I'm not as tight. My right hamstring that has been tight/pulled for 8 months or more is now hardly noticeable. It's been 3 weeks today since I started eating more!

I have gained 4lbs in the first two weeks but haven't weighed recently. I think I'm finally feeling hungry and and ready to up my calories. I'm definitely bigger, I have some clothes I'm not comfortable wearing any longer but most of my clothes are just tighter than they were. I am scared to gain more. I'm hoping by adding more food slower than I did the first time, I might not gain as much. I'm more vain than I ever cared to admit. I'll probably never make that protein goal but I'm okay with that. I'm working on being less intense and strict.

I'm still at a 10% deficit but now at the strenuous 5-6 hr level as of today. Once I'm comfortablely eating there, I'll work up to TDEE. My goal this time is slowing down and taking baby steps.

Ok i know, I'm panicking. It's like what was said in yesterday's boot camp, the before, after, after-after analogy. I will get through this just like all of you have. I just have to persevere

I feel like this forum isn't very active anymore... But I just want to say: I lost ~30lbs in 2015 eating about 1500 calories/day, and bingeing regularly. Of course, I gained that all back.

This time around, I'm eating about 2000 cals/day. I haven't binged once in the past month and a half, and I'm still losing. I feel so much healthier and happier. It's great.