Moxie42 wrote: »

Me: 10
B: 1
DBF: 0

Really sick of the self-sabotage cycle...

@Moxie42 - Hugs... One of the hardest things I have to ask myself WHEN I self-sabotage is why? Do I truly not feel I deserve to be happy, healthy, whole, healthier weight, fit, etc.? It breaks my heart when I honestly answer know to any or all of those. Some kind of wax and wane, but I've yet to get a YES to all of them simultaneously. No matter how far I feel I've come within my own head, my heart rats me out time after time... But knowing this makes it easier to fight back against, no?

June 13

Binges
Me:12
TB: 1
DBF:12

Days of controlled eating
Me:5
TBb:8
DIC:1

Moxie42 wrote: »

@KnitOrMiss - that's something I've been thinking about a lot, WHY I do it and using that as a reminder to NOT do it. I used to think I didn't feel like I deserved it. But I think it's because I feel like no matter what I do, whether I deserve it or not, I'll just fail. I've noticed when it happens as often as it has been it's usually when something else in my life has seriously let me down and I get into this "Trying is pointless" funk. Like being told the reason I didn't get the promotion at work- "You definitely deserve it. Everyone agrees on that. But if we give it to you, you'll be more marketable and could get another job and leave us." And I was expected to take this as a compliment. But trying to tell myself that that is something separate, something I can't control, so there's no reason to use it as an excuse to get off track with something I CAN control. It helped yesterday for sure, and so far it's helping today.

I think you should go back to your employer and tell them, "I just wanted to inform you that now that I've slept on it, I wanted to tell you that if I deserve it, please give me the promotion. If you choose not to award me the promotion I deserve, I will be forced to believe that you do not value my contributions. If you do not value my contributions, why should I continue giving you my loyalty, time, energy, efforts, ethics, morals, and hard work? If you don't value me, that means I'm clearly replaceable. If I'm replaceable, why should I stay? I personally commit to not pursuing outside work for the next 90-180 days (whatever number you're comfortable with), predicated on the awarding and transition of my work to the new position."

Or something like that. @Moxie42

If they ask why you didn't speak up yesterday, I would tell them, "Frankly, I was completely shocked that you would tell me that I deserve the promotion, that all of the management team agree that I should receive the promotion, but that the only reason I didn't receive the promotion was because you're afraid to lose me. I couldn't quite articulate how much feeling completely devalued in that way made me want to turn in my resignation on the spot. Being told I should get a promotion but didn't because the company was scared I'd use it to leave was a professional insult. I could not figure out how to respond professionally to that."


Okay, so those are rough, but off the top of my head, I would SOOOO take that tack. Maybe even google how to say these things professionally, because that is about the most ridiculous thing I've heard this week!!! (HUGS) And congrats for deserving it...

June 14

Binges
Me:13
TB: 1
DBF:13

Days of controlled eating
Me:6
TBb:8
DIC:2

mekaerwin1 wrote: »

Days of Controlled eating since June 1st = 10 if today already counts.

Days of Binge eating since June 1st = 0 if today already counts. Haha...

It's been a little difficult because my husband purchased a huge tub of ice cream and told me that he's going to be monitoring how much I eat daily. I think that he thinks this will help me, but what he doesn't realize is that I feel teased. I've told him, but he really doesn't understand. The good thing is that it has helped! And I'm very surprised about that. I don't like it one bit, but it's teaching me to eat slower and enjoy my little scoop of ice cream. Before I would have just not purchased it at all, because I would finish the entire bucket in a couple of days. He says that I need to learn how to control the way that I eat, rather than deprive myself of good things. I believe what he says to be true, but I grew up being able to eat how much food I wanted without anyone saying anything. This is pretty tough, but I'm appreciating it hesitantly. Do you have secrets to enjoy good comfort foods with self-control or do y'all have help like me? Seriously...

I think I would have a hard time if someone else tried to police my food intake, even if their intentions were good. I haven't had much success eating comfort foods in moderation. But ultimately that is the goal. At times I have bought a bag of treat sized chocolate bars (like Halloween sized) and had one per day. That worked for awhile. But right now I am struggling with urges to binge and I can't have my comfort foods without caving in to binge.

June 15

Me: 5
The B: 0
DBF: 5

@mekaerwin1 I have to make real defined rules for myself with foods that can easily set off the BINGE. I am driven by the more saltier types like CHIPS and I cannot repeat cannot come close to them late in the evening when the voice of the BINGE is loudest. And then there is craft beer ... I need your husband to hand me only 2 per day and put the others under lock and key! Good luck my spouse thinks I'm a little on the crazy side with MFP and counting calories that's why I hang out here. There's a lot of folks here that understand the power of the BINGE in our lives or BED Binge Eating Disorder.

Me: 12
B: 2
DBF: 0

@branbuds - I'm the same way! I can have tempting foods in the house for a while but once the binge urges come along, I can't seem to hold them off forever. Getting the individual serving size packs of snacks have been a huge help most of the time, but not if the binge urges are realllly bad or fueled by one glass of wine too many!

Me: 15
Binge: 0
Days Binge Free: 39

I'm heading out of town this weekend for a BBQ, visiting relatives & eating at restaurants, so, it's going to be more of a challenge for me than the past few weeks have been.

Best of luck @BarneyRubbleMD ... and everyone!! Weekends are hardest for me, too.

June 16

Me: 10
Binge: 6

DBF: 2