Suz - I'm glad you shared with us.... and i can honestly say i know exactly how you feel right now.. when I was caregiver for my mom, i gained about 20 lbs over a few years, maybe more. I would come home usually feeling sad or frustrated or exhausted and i would turn to food for comfort. Chips don't judge and don't need any care and were there for me... yup sounds pretty pathetic but at the time food was the thing i thought comforted me... and grabbing a burger on the way home or ordering a pizza because i was just too damned tired to make anything became the standard. Caregiving plays on your emotions, not on your "logic" brain,- so its understandable that knowing your mom's issues are related to her lifestyle choices would play on your mind a lot... and make you question why you aren't doing everything you think are the "right" things to ensure you have a different outcome for yourself..

i would like to say tho Suzy, and i hope i'm not out of line... that i think you might have forgotten all the awesome changes you have already made in your own lifestyle in the past few years, that have already gone a long way to changing your life.. you are eating far better now as you have taken the time to not only learn about good nutrition but implemented it... you continue to do your walking and amazing hikes.. you make time for family and friends. Right now you're dealing with several big stressors - grandbaby and parents. and more than likely a few other issues as well if you're anything like the rest of us and its totally understandable that you're finding yourself in a bit of a funk about your food choices at the moment....

Maybe to find your way back to where you want to be, some baby steps could help.. perhaps go back to the basics where we started making just small changes... one healthy meal a day no matter what; switch out the chips for an apple one day (and have the chips (or pizza) the next if you still want them.. Have two glasses of wine instead of 3... take 10 min a day to do something physical; go for a walk, scrub the kitchen floor lol... (altho that wouldnt be my first choice!) maybe do a few squats during commericals on tv.. but baby steps.. and remember that we are a work in progress - and it's progress not perfection we're looking for. We've all had times like youre going through so just know that we're here for you anytime if you just need to vent or if there's anything we can do to help... hugs

Suz how close do you live to your daughter? My sister was on bed rest for a few months during her pregnancy and i know its gotta be stressful for both you and your daughter, but she's very lucky to have you available for sure! Might be tough on hubby having to step up and do a bit more for this last month too! Thats great that you talked your parents into getting some help... i can totally relate to you worrying about your mom not responding well to the help.. my dad was the same and it took a few different "helpers" before he found one he was comfortable with.. it IS hard to let a stranger into your home even if they are they to help!

i loved your line " Everything is going to be fine. I need to concentrate on the things I have control over and take care of myself because I have a lot of people depending on me. Eating right and getting exercise will help me stay healthy and sane." So true!!! (and i did laugh at the "sane" part!!

I had gone for some blood tests on wed - just the usual ones before my sched 4 month apt next week.. but on thurs my doc called and said you need to come in today and start meds..yikes.. but she told me on the phone it was because i apparently i have something called hyperthyroidism; its pretty uncommon as most people have hypo, not hyper - hyper is where your thryoid is in overdrive and pumping out massive amounts of hormones and pretty much throwing your entire system into overdrive. My doc had tested me 4 months ago and it was a little high but i guess the tests this time showed the numbers were off the charts. Anyway i'm now on meds for a month and then will retest.. i'm really hoping they work cause if not they will have to look at other options which didn't sound that appealing at all!

But it may explain some of the things that have been going on as some of the symptoms include not sleeping (me!) anxiety, muscle weakness etc... but the big one can be weight loss LOL.. so here i have been thinking i've been doing really well as i've lost about 8lbs since October.. but turns out it wasnt me making it happen, it was because of the HT.. BUMMER lol

I'm off today to an art exhibit where a friend has some pieces on display, then a kiddie show at the :LAC tonie... it's going up to 7C here tomorrow woo hoo so i'm thinking perhaps a walk at the lake is in my future! have a great wekeend everyone

Thanks Suz... i think the people with "hypo" have a very difficult time adjusting the meds to get to the "right" amount a lot of trial and error.. they are the ones with a really slow metabolism where its underactive and theres a lot of adjusting to get the dosage right.. i'm honestly not sure how it works with the "hyper" tho.. i have to take one pill a day for a week then 2 pills a day for 3 weeks... and i think i have to go for a scan to make sure there's nothing else going on with it. If the meds dont work she said they will use radiation to burn out the thyroid completley.. gak.. so i am thinking positive that the meds will do the job! I'm not sure if the muscle weakness is actually part of it, but i confess i googled the disease (i rarely do that!) and it was listed there so again hoping the meds will fix that up too!! I worked a kiddie show at the LAC last night and i crouched down to ask one of the mom's if they wanted a booster seat for the kid.. but by the time we both figured out what each other was saying it took a few min, and when i went to stand up again i could barely make it back up - i grabbed a seat back to help... so it woudl be good if the meds help out in that area too!

Of COURSE your daughter and parents are in opposite directions from your place.... never fails, eh? Yes youre likely to be putting on the miles so hope your car is in good shape LOL.
When does the parental help start - have they had their first person show up yet? keep us updated as to how it goes if they havent come yet..

It's supposed to go up to 8C this aft - which i think is about 50F ? so im think i'll go to pb for an hour or 2 at noon then hit the lake for a walk... but since i'm still in my jammies i guess it would be a good idea to shower and dress first ha... sunday mornings are meant for jammies and coffee right??

I signed up for the same 2 classes into the spring session which goes to June 22.. but i only took one over the summer.. i figure i'll be out and about enough in the good weather to make up for it!

Oh and i updated my ticker to my current weight so i can see if it starts to level off with the meds or what..

Suz if there is one thing i can relate to its regaining weight that i worked so hard to take off... the anger and disappointment I felt in myself just kept me spiraling downward... so good on you girl for seizing the anger and making it work for you instead by deciding on option #2! And smart on putting together a plan to get to where you want to be! Im trying to go back to some basics too.. the smaller meals, yesterday i had a turkey tomato and lettuce sandwich, it was pretty big so i only ate 1/2 of it and had the other 1/2 around 230pm.. kept me from starving before dinner BUT also had a late dinner and ate way too much because i was hungry again... so note to self.. one day at a time, small changes here and there just like when we started will help us get there!! Hugs

great idea on the teas!! and yep its not about perfection but progress... i'm honstly going to take it one day at a time. Tonite i am gonna try a chicken cacciatore; not sure if the skinnytaste one is to my liking but i figure it can't be too high in cals no matter what.. and i'll have leftovers lol..

I'm not sure how the meds are working yet; i go for blood tests end of next week which may let me know..

I bet your daughter is gonna love you more for the deep clean - and as you said will burn off a few cals too!! oh myyyyyyyyy you're gonna be a grandma in a few weeks!! woo hoo