Hi all...

I'm really not sure what I feel right now. A lot of different emotions, frustrated, stressed, angry, depressed, also at the moment, suicidal. 😥 I cut myself earlier because everything was just too much. Everywhere I went today, I almost broke down into tears. When I woke up, at my TMS treatment, in the car with my Clinician, and everywhere else, but I held back the tears. Even now, typing this I want to cry. *Sigh* I had a Psychiatrist appointment today and my Psych said she is phasing out of the 1 on 1 appointments and just going to be doing inpatient. I've had her outpatient and inpatient when ever I am in Rehab there. She isn't my first Psychiatrist, I've had a lot ever since I was a kid, but she's been a good one and one that I grew on and had an attachment to. I didn't always get along with her, but I felt like we had that kind of relationship and I still liked her. She did ask me if there was anyone else there that I liked so she could switch me over to them. I liked that instead of her just saying good luck, now you gotta find somewhere else to go...Well, when she asked, I knew EXACTLY who I wanted. I always saw her in the hallways in Rehab and saw her talk to her patients and she worked with my Psychiatrist once when I went to my appointment so I got to talk to her the whole appointment instead of mine and I really felt her nurturing, caring nature which made me like her more. When I saw her in the hallways in Rehab, I already knew that I liked her because I just felt like this vibe from her that she was a kind and sweet person and that we would click. Even my Psychiatrist said she felt like she would be a perfect fit for me after I had said that's who I wanted. My first appointment with her will be July 29th. So that isn't too far away.

I got my drip irrigation system for the garden today and it took me hours to put together, only because I just couldn't figure it out...AND I didn't even get any of it in the garden, nope...It took me hours JUST to get the pieces on the faucet and the mainline set up right. I swear I took it apart at least 12 times and also I couldn't set the timer up because it needs a battery and didn't come with one!! 🤦‍♀️ Hoping to get that tomorrow when I go pick up my meds. Anyway, after fnally getting the water to come out of the mainline, there is a SMALL leak and I am VERY OCD so I took it apart time after time and added washers, took away washers, tightened this, loosened thst and STILL, a tiny leak! I gave up because well I had no choice as it was dark! I really don't want to get the whole aystem set up and still have a small leak. Not sure what to do...Take it apart again, or maybe add calk or plumbers tape? Or just take it apart again and check everything again...I don't know, but it really made me frustrated and I just hated it the whole time! Also, it's almost 11 at night and I've only had 390 calories today! Annnnd I can't even believe it, but I opened MFP and refreshed it to see what I burned. Usually 300-500 is my average, well I burned 1,179!! And since I only ate 390 today, I think this means I need to eat something!

It's one of my doggy's Birthdays tomorrow, Esmae, and she turns 10! We got her a cake and some presents. She got one of her presents from my Sister tonight and it is a big fluffy pink bed! She doesn't even seem 10! People have guessed her age before and thought she was anywhere from 4 to 6. My other dogs are her kids and they are turning 9 in August and they act like they're 2, it's crazy.

Think that's all I had to say. I said a lot because I don't come here and talk much, so this will be my post for the week, lol.

Love you all! 🖤💜
Cassie

Check in: Sunday 21st
Food: logged and under
Water: ok
Exercise: 45min walk

Check in: Monday 22st
Food: logged and under
Water: ok
Exercise: 55min strength, 30min dance

Spent some time on Sunday at the allotment.  Full on pea picking mode now (sugarsnap, mangetout and garden peas). At lunchtime we headed to McDonald's  (drive through is open).  Wasn't my choice, but few options and was getting late for lunch.  I had just a McChicken sandwich.  Was a waste of salty calories, and did not fill me up at all.  Spent the rest of the afternoon hungry and grumpy.  Really must try to be better prepared with a picnic when going to the allotment!

Yesterday was better - in the morning Violet and I headed to the shops in search of new workout trainers for me - eventually found some that I think won't hurt my feet (not sure what my problem is - thinking I may have plantar fasciitis).  Also picked up some walking shoes and pretty sandals :-)  was able to pick up some healthy snacks for lunch, and then cooked spag bol for dinner.  I substituted most of the spaghetti for courgette, carrot and sugar snap peas!  Had not done any proper exercise over the weekend, so felt good to get my new trainers on and do a workout last night!

Have a good day everyone!

@nstephenson01 I total believe Covid-crastination is a thing, and I am suffering from it too!  Such a good idea to plan a couple of chores in - at the moment we seem to just about keep on top of clearing floors of toys every few days, and keeping kitchen clean, but everything else - eeeerrruuuggghhhhh!  Like @Mrsbell8well, I use Flylady methods (or do when I am on top of things!), think I need to dust my planning app off and start adding a couple of chores into my day as well!

@lennoncpa Bebe is so so so gorgeous!  Hope he recovers from the op nice and quickly.

@GingerPwr, so true about a goal without a plan being just a wish.  I feel at the moment I am doing the right things, but stagnating.  Today I am going to think about the steps I need to be doing and planning around those - will post my plan tomorrow...

@1theresamcvean hope the noise let's up soon - that really would wind me up so much.  I really do not deal with noise well at all!  Unfortunately I do not live in a village, but am on the outskirts of a town - the photo was taken about a 5-10 minute walk from out house down a lane that leads out to some fields growing sweetcorn.  Bit of a regular walking route for us.

@Cafelelia My 8 year old has taken to tantruming about school work.  Doesn't help that there is not much interaction with the school - pretty much just assigned tasks and maybe 1 or 2 a week will get a "Well Done".  He is putting in a lot of effort, and would be easier with more encouragement from the school.  Jealous of your 4 days - we have over 4 weeks left......

Monday-check in
Food - logged and on target
Water - at least 80 oz
Exercise - 25 min walk, PT, Strength and Stretching

Another good day yesterday! I don't know why I get on stretches that I don't do my PT and stretching. It is quick and it really makes a difference. Yesterday I deep cleaned the living room and dining room which means a lot of moving furniture. I was feeling it last night so Jim and I just took a short walk around the neighborhood. Eating, water, sleep and steps on point! I am also on track to get to the shore, in fact, I am ahead of where I thought I would be so I am excited about that. Today I have to do my more intense PT and strength so I have to get moving. Hope everyone has a wonderful day!

@Cafelelia I don't blame him, I am 54 and I think I would be throwing a tantrum if I was him too. The school year seems endless to him I am sure. I am glad it is finally almost over for all of you! Fitness blender sounds like it may be a good thing for me to do at the shore. I am in a rut with strength and not too excited to get started....Friday we are going to green too. Still with distancing and restrictions but at least the salons are opening. And indoor dining but very restrictive.
@1theresamcvean We had our roads ripped up before the quarantine so I can relate. I did get the heck out of the house when they were doing it. I hope it is over for you soon. I love your positivity! I am going to try to start the day with a positive thought too. What a quaint neighborhood.
@jedaschultz Nice loss! Almost to onderland! Glad you had a good week!
@Mrsbell8well Lol! I made frozen pina coloadas for Father's day too! I was thinking of getting another frozen drink maker for the shore but you bring up a good point. Not the best drinks for weight loss!
@GingerPwr Thank you! I would miss this team too much if I left completely! Love that post about goals, it is a great reminder. It is so true. Sounds like you have a great plan to move forward!
@Cafelelia and @1theresamcvean You two should work for Toronto tourism! Lol! I want to go visit now! What an awesome city!
@lennoncpa He is so cute, I am sure he will get adopted quickly. You are such a good foster Mama!
@kirsten11872 Thank you, I get so much support here that it would be hard to leave this team! Btw-you are kicking butt lately! Great job!
@nstephenson01 If Covidcrastination isn't a word, it should be Lol! I have had a bout of that myself. Sounds like you have a great plan with scheduling times for your to do list. It also sounds like you have a great plan for the day too! You are really doing great!
@timibotkin Nice!! There are a few team members who do WW and are very successful! Hope you like it and it works for you. I think sometimes it is good to have a guide, especially with food and I think WW will give you that structure.
@CassieGetsFit2013 Hugs!
@Freeglerock I think that having times like you did with McDonalds is part of the learning process. Give yourself credit for choosing something a little on the healthier side. Now you know it wasn't worth it and to plan something for next time you go. Sounds like you turned things around and had a good day yesterday.

Monday check in

Goals for this week
10,000 steps/day ✔️ 14,369 steps
30 minutes of exercise/day ✔️ 3.5 mile hike for 1 hr
Pre-log food and eat according to plan ✔️
3 days of 14:10 IF, 2 days of 16:8 IF and 2 non fasting days (TBD & Sun) ✔️ 14:10 IF

Another mini goal I forgot to include is related to a book I read last year by Dr Gregor. He has a recommended daily dozen. Since I’m not 100% plant based, I’m aiming for 50% ✔️ It helps me to crowd out the bad stuff if I have to try to fit in his recommendations.

@Freeglerock Sodium is my weakness and my weight is up a bit because of it. Why is it that when we eat something we probably shouldn’t we don’t get more enjoyment from it 🤷‍♀️ I wish my garden was producing... you are so far ahead of us.
@sleepymom5 Enjoy your time at the shore!
@Cafelelia Congrats on reaching phase 2!!

@timibotkin YES!! That’s the one I’m using also

I took the plunge and used my Apple Watch in the water! It even sensed what stroke I was doing! Pretty cool!

Quick check in
Did not want to do my thing today but I did it anyway. Yoga 43 minutes, walk 20, weights 13 exercises 8 reps, fly lady-master bath.
Ugh some days I don’t want to be responsible. Not expecting a great weigh in tomorrow. There’s always next week. Just made roasted beet salad for dinner. Going to have a small glass of wine with it.

@nstephenson01 I’ve used that as well.
I also loved Dr Fuhrmans GBOMBS. Greens, berries, onions, mushrooms, beans and seeds. It was easy and I enjoyed the daily simplicity and delicious food.

Hotter n hell in Maine today. How is everyone staying cool? I do this! Stay safe my Brothers and Sisters!
Sounds like a dare to me!

Challenge accepted!

User ID: Freeglerock
Week Number: 4
Previous weight: 183.2
Current weight: 182.3
LTD: 36.2lb

I weigh daily, and my weight is fluctuating up and down loads.  Luckily my Wednesday weigh ins tend to be down a little each week, but I am frustratingly hovering just above 13st.  I would LOVE to start seeing 12st consistently!

Check in: Tuesday 23rd
Food: logged and under
Water: ok
Exercise: 30min HIIT plyometrics, 18min stretches, hour walk (with kids!)

Working day yesterday, so sat on my bottom till 4pm.  Ben actually did his school work without complaint (yay), and was finished by lunchtime.  Violet for the most part played nicely - though by evening the lounge floor was  a death trap of lego and Sullvanian families!  Once I finished work, kids and I took a walk.  Our walls tend to take us past some play parks which all closed/not to be used during lockdown.  Recently they have been filled with kids despite it still being illegal to do so.  We do now have a date of 4th July when they can legally be used again - kids gave started a countdown!

Dinner was bbq cooked chipolata sausages, allotment sugarsnap and mangetout, carrots, brocolli and jersey royal potatoes.  Simple tea, but yum! Finished off with a pudding of strawberries, meringue and ice cream.

@tryingagain5 so pleased the gym is opening back up for you.  And don't worry about being back at square one - it is amazing how quickly you will get back your stamina and pace.  And you were working so hard with the trainer before - your body will not have forgotten!