Other Ways to Satisfy the Dopamine Demands

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  • lauriekallis
    lauriekallis Posts: 4,640 Member
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    So many reasons why we are all here.

    I keep thinking/hoping it is possible to retrain my brain so that "food" isn't what I reach for when I need that "hit."

    My alcoholic friend was shocked when he eventually started to see that alcohol didn't have to be a part of everything. That he could have fun without drinking, grieve without drinking, relax without drinking. But it took years and years.

    We can't completely eliminate food from our lives like he had to eliminate alcohol - but I would like to eliminate food for reasons other than nutrition.
    • Dream of a hot bath and a cup of herbal tea and music to settle my nerves - rather than a big bowl of comfort food when coming home from a rough day in the world
    • Go for a vigorous walk - rather than going out for donuts after having a fight with a loved one
    • Lie down with a good movie and go to bed early when I'm exhausted after The Boy goes home on Sunday evening - rather than ordering pizza the moment the house has cleared
    For me - binging is just that one step further. Rather than craving a special food - I crave the sensation of gorging...but the same idea would apply? Rather than wanting to gorge on just about anything, to maybe settle in under the wacky shoulder massager I bought last year for half an hour.

    The brain juices are flowing this afternoon - you all have inspired me.



  • Bella_Figura
    Bella_Figura Posts: 3,976 Member
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    It's all about finding what the emotion is that you're trying to sooth, and trying to develop new habits that create new neural pathways that are healthier responses to that emotion than simply going into a binge. It takes a lot of trial and error, a lot of patience, a lot of self-awareness and a willingness to delve deeply into some painful emotions. Lots of stuff on CBT can be helpful...
  • conniewilkins56
    conniewilkins56 Posts: 3,391 Member
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    Although it is more money, I only buy chips in snack size 160 calorie bags…chips are really not my go to, I like sweets…..freezing food like cookies or brownies does not help…l just eat them frozen!….sugar free hard candy helps a little….
  • lauriekallis
    lauriekallis Posts: 4,640 Member
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    Although it is more money, I only buy chips in snack size 160 calorie bags…chips are really not my go to, I like sweets…..freezing food like cookies or brownies does not help…l just eat them frozen!….sugar free hard candy helps a little….

    How about something other than food? Just no food unless it is for a meal/hunger/nourishment?
  • Bella_Figura
    Bella_Figura Posts: 3,976 Member
    edited January 2022
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    How about something other than food? Just no food unless it is for a meal/hunger/nourishment?

    OK, you're going to think I'm weird, but when I'm anxious or tense or upset, I have a few non-food ways to sooth myself.

    No. 1 is always to walk barefoot, preferably on a lawn, but if not on a deep pile rug or carpet. There is something deeply soothing about being - literally - grounded. Make fists with your toes and dig/burrow them into the lawn/rug/sand/mud. It releases some really primeval emotions...

    No. 2: I light some candles, make myself a mug of hot tea, put on my Billie Holiday LP and put my feet in a bowl of hot water with a few drops of lavender oil in it. The bowl of water has to be placed on a 2-3-deep- layer of towels, so that when I remove my feet from the water, I can sink my toes into the towelling, to evoke the feelings mentioned above in no. 1. The combination of the candlelight, the crackles and hiss from my 41 year-old-vinyl record, the hot tea and the scented hot water are utterly blissful. I've had this Billie Holiday record since I was 15, and it soothed me then and continues to soothe me now...

    No. 3: I take a bath and lie completely flat in the tub with just my nostrils above the water (like a hippo). Again, primeval....maybe it harks back to the warmth of the womb....Usually I fall asleep...I top up the water as it cools, and emerge as wrinkled as a Shar-pei....lovely!

    No. 4: I go for a walk. Works almost every time.

    No 5: Music....so evocative. Sometimes something upbeat and cheerful to get me bopping round the living room. Sometimes cello music, which is so mournful and beautiful....

    No: 6: I listen to this versionof The Little Prince. It's a stupendous recording that never fails to lift my spirits.

    No 7: I read one of the books that I loved from childhood (e.g. an Enid Blyton or Charlotte's Web/The Secret Garden/Alice In Wonderland...)...or an Agatha Christie or a Sherlock Holmes...something that I can practically quote by heart because it's so cosy and familiar...
  • lauriekallis
    lauriekallis Posts: 4,640 Member
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    Love these, Bella. All sensual - which I guess makes sense! A few are similar to mine - but I've never tried the barefoot walking ... though I have used walking barefoot for other purposes. Going to try that for sure....sorry I let my shag rugs slip away from my life now :p

    Maybe this will be a time for me to try poetry!
  • lauriekallis
    lauriekallis Posts: 4,640 Member
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    My bedroom rug - silk - is beautiful to the foot. I'll be walkin round the end of my bed next time I need to self soothe...diggin the healthy vibrations coming from the three pothos in the window (they are the happiest plants in the house).

    Having a soothing place - making a soothing place to retreat to in times of stress could be a good one too.
  • PAV8888
    PAV8888 Posts: 13,654 Member
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    Holly hamster 🐹 management seminar! I KNEW that the emotionally adroit and adept CAT 😺 contingent would probably prove to be the best at managing hamsters and GARFIELD sure as *kittens* is coming through with some hard won and insightful... err... insights!

    Thank you.

    All jokes aside: truly thank you. I will think on some of these... cause... under the "right" conditions... I just keep eating as I am sure many of us here do!

    ... checks paws and contemplates barefooting it.... not tonight :lol:
  • Bella_Figura
    Bella_Figura Posts: 3,976 Member
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    Maybe this will be a time for me to try poetry!

    I use a wonderful app called The Poetry Hour that has famous actors reading poetry aloud. Some of the recordings are mesmerising. I highly recommend it!
  • Bella_Figura
    Bella_Figura Posts: 3,976 Member
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    My bedroom rug - silk - is beautiful to the foot. I'll be walkin round the end of my bed next time I need to self soothe...diggin the healthy vibrations coming from the three pothos in the window (they are the happiest plants in the house).

    Having a soothing place - making a soothing place to retreat to in times of stress could be a good one too.

    I know it sounds a bit new-agey and hippyish, but I do think it makes sense why there is emotional benefit and resonance in stripping away anything extraneous and getting as close to nature as we possibly can.

    Our veneer of civililisation is just that - the thinnest veneer, laid down during the most recent nano-seconds of our evolution. For millenia we were part of the primordial swamp - warm, wet, dark- until we managed to haul ourselves onto land. In evolutionary terms, we only donned garb and footwear at minute 23:59. So it makes sense that when we're stressed, tired, unhappy or afraid that we would find comfort and solace in sensory inputs that take us back to those warm, wet, dark origins. I'm not sure if I fully swallow the theory of genetic memory, but our far-back ancestors would've walked barefoot through swampy mud, grainy sand, springy grasses, cool,smooth rock - they would've rested their backs wearily against the rough, mossy sun-warmed bark of trees, they'd have crunched through crisp fallen leaves and felt their toes sink into the rich loam beneath. They'd have rejoiced at the warmth of the sun on their skin after a long winter, and enjoyed the cool dim interior of a cave during the blistering heat of summer. I think we can experience some of that same simple, primitive pleasure and sense of innate rightness from trying to recreate some of their experience.

    Like I say, a bit new-agey/tree-huggy/hippyish...but it works for me!
  • lauriekallis
    lauriekallis Posts: 4,640 Member
    edited January 2022
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    I feel it too, Bella.
    A bunch of years ago, I slipped climbing some granite ledges on the shoreline of one of the lakes when we were on a family camping trip. I was wearing hiking sandles (the only footwear I had for the trip) and ended up pulling up the nail of my big toe.
    Couldn't wear the sandles any more so I spent a week in bare feet. I was slow - but made it everywhere. What an experience.
    I still go barefoot every once in a while - to re experience that connection with mother earth. Less often now because I don't have a car so don't get away to "safe" places very often. But there is something very true to your words.

    Another couple I thought of last night:

    Yoga. I haven't practised in a very long time but was thinking of gently moving in that direction now that I can move my upper body a bit more. I can see that working - especially if I set up a special place - I'm thinking in my studio which is always a favoured space.

    Incense. I have a friend who burns it frequently. I love them so if I burn the same incense I might have the sense of being around a loved one

    Meditation. Again - not something I practise - but maybe I should start?

    Lovemaking. (or self lovemaking for those of us living without a partner). That would bring about a pretty fine dopamine high! Imagine saying to your partner...I'm feeling really stressed - binge attack ahead - love me now baby :D

    Singing. I'm a terrible singer - but I love singing. Used to carry lyric sheets with me when I was walking...maybe that is a practise I could renew.
  • lauriekallis
    lauriekallis Posts: 4,640 Member
    edited January 2022
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    Meditation
    Found this while looking for some meditation tips. Several soundtracks in this article. Seems like a reasonable place to start.
    Does anyone have any links they have found particularly good?
  • Bella_Figura
    Bella_Figura Posts: 3,976 Member
    edited January 2022
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    I don't do enough of all of those Laurie! And yes, all resonate with me.

    I'm also a terrible singer, but that doesn't stop me singing along to all my records. I also sing when I'm walking - often hymns or carols, because I love them despite being irreligious.

    Have you thought of dance? And I don't just mean bopping around the room, I mean really sensual dance? I can only do this when I'm unobserved, because even in front of my husband of 32 years I feel too inhibited, so then it's not so effective. Total uninhibition is key for this to work. I put on some really sensual music, dim the lights, wear something non-constricting and really get my groove on. I go the whole hog - think Jamie Lee Curtis sliding up and down the four-poster-bed frame in True Lies - running my hands over my body, bumping and grinding. Sometimes it makes me burst out laughing because I feel like such an idiot - it's sad but true that you can feel inhibited and embarrassed even in your own head! - but sometimes I really can lose myself in the sensuousness of the movement. It's freeing and life-affirming.

    I've also been checking out belly dancing videos on Youtube to see if I can have a bash at that. As I have lots of bellies I may as well make good use of them! I'm not very good at shimmying and sashaying at the moment, but watch this space!
  • lauriekallis
    lauriekallis Posts: 4,640 Member
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    I've been moving in that direction....had a sore lower back for a few days as testament to how sincere my moves were. Definitely going there. SLOWLY. I really do think incorporating some of these in our daily lives - not just in those moments - will reduce the need to overeat in any form it takes. But challenging to break life long habits!
  • Bella_Figura
    Bella_Figura Posts: 3,976 Member
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    Would crafting help?

    I’m not at all arty or crafty (words are my thing) but this summer I taught myself to crochet by following YouTube videos.

    I made a blanket in moorland colours first, then an Eastern Jewels blanket, then a pair of mittens and lastly some Christmas decorations. It made me feel closer to my mom, as she was a lifelong knitter and crocheter. I just wish I’d asked her to teach me...

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    When you’re crocheting you can’t eat!
  • Yoolypr
    Yoolypr Posts: 2,854 Member
    edited January 2022
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    Oh my goodness what beautiful crochet work! I can’t believe you taught yourself and jumped right into such intricate patterns.
    I’m a knitter. Over the past two years I’ve made hats for chemotherapy patients, immigrant settlements, homeless shelters and needy school kids. Must have knitted up over a hundred hats along with baby blankets and sweaters for crisis pregnant girls.
    When your hands are busy you can’t eat - gets the yarns all sticky and messy otherwise. Doing complicated patterns keeps my mind off food too.
    I think it’s time I explored doing 🧶 crochet now.
  • Bella_Figura
    Bella_Figura Posts: 3,976 Member
    edited January 2022
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    Yooly it's so easy! It looks so complicated, so I was astonished how easy it is! And I honestly don't have a crafty cell in my body, so if I can do it, anyone can. I understand that knitting is considerably harder (I can't knit, so I'm just going by what I've heard.) There are so many tutorials for absolute beginners on Youtube (I was such a beginner that I didn't even know how to make a slip knot, but within a day I'd started a blanket.)

    The work was so satisfying - almost addictive!
  • Yoolypr
    Yoolypr Posts: 2,854 Member
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    Yooly it's so easy! It looks so complicated, so I was astonished how easy it is! And I honestly don't have a crafty cell in my body, so if I can do it, anyone can. I understand that knitting is considerably harder (I can't knit, so I'm just going by what I've heard.) There are so many tutorials for absolute beginners on Youtube (I was such a beginner that I didn't even know how to make a slip knot, but within a day I'd started a blanket.)

    The work was so satisfying - almost addictive!

    Thanks for the encouragement ❣️ I’ll definitely check out YouTube.
  • conniewilkins56
    conniewilkins56 Posts: 3,391 Member
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    I quilt and piece quilts but it is starting to hurt my fingers…..I kinit in spurts like non stop for a year and then not for four or five years lol
  • bmeadows380
    bmeadows380 Posts: 2,981 Member
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    I learned to embroidary and cross stitch when I was younger, and I do sew my own curtains, clothes, toys for my niece and nephew, etc. I can do a crochet chain but that's about it :) Crochet never really inspired me, but I did want to learn to knit. Sadly, I'm left handed and could not find anyone to show me, and I tried learning from books, but that didn't work out either. Now I have carpel tunnel and can't do much hand crafting like that these days - my hands go numb when I hold the needles (including the cross stitch). But at least I can still sew with the sewing machine! Though I wish they had more variety of patterns and that the stupid patterns actually were in line with ready made clothing so I had a truth sense of what size to buy and didn't have to do so much work these days to fit the pattern! I don't have much training on pattern fitting, so each one is a shot in the dark to get it right - and material is dab-blamed expensive, too much so to screw it up trying to get the pattern to fit right!