@Pmbach1, WOW not many can carry that off well, but you SURE HAVE!! Your smile, the shape of your face, it's so easy to see you are female. My GD when she was 7 was in a very bad car accident. we nearly lost her. Just 1/4th of an inch more had the back of the 18 wheeler (He was parked on the side of the street, no cones, no lights, no reflectors on it her mother hit it hard. Hmmm my GD was SUPPOSED to be in the back seat, but her mother ,, well I was angry for a very long time) the back step they get into the trailer with, came into her sweet head. She was the miracle child at the hospital. We were told they didn't know if she'd survive the surgery (SO MANY BEGGING PRAYERS!) she did, we were told when she came out of the coma she may not be able to think well, and have to go from there. I was with her mother when we both walked in she knew us both immediately. The nurses and Dr's were shocked, as were we!! After about 3 weeks she saw her reflection (her mother had begged us to not say anything "She'd tell her" but she did NOT DO IT! I should of known that would of happened) she freaked out so badly, to this day 21 years later she'll still tear up over it. They had to shave her head. I WISH I had talked to her first, she'd of looked at it the way you are. It's not forever, your hair will grow back. Hers did to this day she keeps it long as it was before the accident. I had asked her if she'd like to use a washable paint on her head, she loves anything artsy. There's another idea if you are up to that and wish to do so. Hon the most important part as it was for my sweet GD, is to survive, hair grows back. The treatments are harsh on the body, mind and soul. I hope Pam you've taken every thing they offer to help you through this. Its a strength not a weakness. I always take whatever help I am offered when I go through the tough spots (and I do). It helps me to remain as who I am, silliness, encouraging and very hopeful.

You guys really are the best thank you so much. And I am taking advantage of any help we are offering. Had my second treatment today made some more new friends. There longer than I thought five hours not four. I have a wonderful nurse Katie she is so sweet. When I got unhooked she came over and sat down and said "I haven't had time to talk to you all day I missed. I love you." I was so stunned I said I bet you say that to a lot of people." She looked my straight in the eye and said "NO, I don't." Made my day. God's hand is here thanks to all the prayers and people like you @Dianedoessmiles1 Diane and @Ceriusly1 Ceri.

@Dianedoessmiles1 Awww thank you my faithful friend. You are amazing.

@Dianedoessmiles1 You are a very wise woman. This has really touched me thank you!

@pmbach1 @Dianedoessmiles1 - Pam - You are so strong and beautiful. Diane, your words so encouraging, you warm and fill My heart
Thank you both. There are blessings everywhere. You are that.

@Pmbach1, its so nice no doubt to have someone who's hopeful there. A breath of fresh air. I am not surprised. Of course, again it's okay to have an eewwww day (s) they also happen.

@Pmbach1, LOL I call those ones my CRAZY Friends, but they say the same! IT is nice to be able to say what is what without having to stuff it. Stuffing is great in a turkey, but not to stuff our feelings.

@MawMaw1941, Thanks. Welcome to the feed. I'm so sorry to hear of your neighbor. I hope still be okay. They know do much more now than as it was starting to affect the States etc 3 years ago.
We don't need to stuff our feelings. I'm 99% positive, but there are times I can't be. It's understandable you're worried, when we care it comes with many questions. We hate to see them suffer. Any type of suffering. Often wishing we could do x, y, z instead of them going through it. That's a beautiful heart.

My neighbor is doing well with the treatments. Thanks for the prayers.

I finally got to a specialist in hematology/oncology on the 13th and will go back to her on the 27th for results.
At least she has already ruled out two issues that were diagnosed last month and the month before.

Today I will “chin up” and remember that 90% of the things we worry about never happen!
Hope and pray for a good Christmas week for all of us. 🙏

Pam, u look great! I was going to suggest a knitted hat if you are cold. keep the dr's, nurses on call if you have any issues. Chemo can be rough and never know the side effects as each person is different and what the body can handle.
Thank all of you for your kindness, sympathies, comments while I navigate this new chapter. I feel blessed I had him in my life as long as I did. He picked up 4 cancers, none related. Each ct scan they would say we found something. First one: January 2018;cll, no treatment at this time, second: prostate cancer may 2020 , covid shut down most the hospital, october 2020 lung cancer, may 2021 pancreatic cancer; he had multiple radiations, chemo 2 different times, lung cancer came back, so many dr appointments, radiation 5 days a week. He hit it hard. January 2021 he said no more. His words I want to live the rest of my life at home doing what I want eat what I want. no more treatment. He survived all that for 3 years. I was honored to take care of him and be with him when he passed. He is the bravest person I know. He had the best outlook, calm and happy. I hope I can face life with that kind of attitude