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Sober Discussion (Ongoing)
Replies
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Happy Weekend everyone,
@SunnyDays930, I can relate and I'm right there with you! I'm the one who started this thread and yet I keep falling off! No more though. I'm DONE! I'm going to look for that "Sober Again" series on YouTube as well. Thanks so much @RubyRed427! Your encouraging words mean so much! Also, words of advice and references to "sober tools"!
I'm going to try a new approach: Instead of listing number of days AF, I will continue posting daily and will report whether I was AF the day before or whether I slipped up and by how much. I will also post Sober Time app milestones as I achieve them, like this:
So... even though I've been totally slacking off lately (too many excuses and yet NO excuses!) but I'm really looking forward to this Thursday, the last 5 weeks until S*P*R*I*N*G!🌷
Good thing too - Boston is expecting a snowstorm tonight into tomorrow with about 4-8 inches expected. Sometimes they hype it up and we get practically nothing and sometimes we get way over the predicted accumulation. We shall see...
Guess what? My new cat has finally come out of hiding (after two weeks) and we are really bonding now! She even likes to sleep on my lap! (Today I'm going to build her a 3-foot cat tree!) I'll post a picture soon if I am able to assemble it and I will even try to get a picture of my cat using it!
Enjoy your weekend. I will check back soon!
💞 Carole
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I have not been posting because I am drinking nearly every day. Not a ton of wine but always a half bottle .... and then I have to make myself stop! Sometimes I drink nearly the whole bottle of wine and then the next day, my fitbit yells at me by saying my heart rate was 10 beats higher than normal all night long.
I am not counting days anymore, but I do record every day- my consumption, nightly heart rate and sleep score in the notes of my phone. I've been doing this since September. Remember I had that hot streak? I think 50 days AF. Those were the good times! Now, this is like drudgery. Always worrying I'll drink too much and feel terrible at work. Ugh. It's a real struggle; I know many of us are in the same boat.
@Walela617 I'm so happy that your cat has come around and realized how loving and amazing you are!3 -
Dear @RubyRed427, I can totally relate on how tough this is, but you're still here and I'm so glad! I took my blood pressure on Thursday evening and it was literally at critical level! (As in, "Somebody call 911!") I'm going to test it in a few minutes and post before/after.
Whenever I binge on alcohol, my BP and heart rate skyrocket! It usually takes at least a few days for it to come back down to normal, but at my age (66), it might just end up staying there!
I'm usually crap the next day at work too. Good thing I worked from home on Thursday! (I had no alcohol yesterday or today though.)
I absolutely HATE starting over! At least you got this 50 days under your belt, proving you can totally do this! So here we go again! I'm never giving up! For me, is really urgent - not just for my health, but so I can continue to afford to support myself (and my cat)! It's just too expensive for me to keep doing this!
I will post again with my vitals, just to see if it's started to go down yet.
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{OOPS!} BP/HR still not good! I think I'll wait until Wednesday before checking again so I don't freak myself out, but here goes:
Thursday the top number was on the 160's, the bottom number was upper 90's and my heart rate was 83 (My usual, non-drinking heart rate is lower than 120/70, and my usual resting heart rate is in the 60's - mainly because I don't have a car and I walk everywhere, pretty fast.)
Further proof I really need to cut...this...OUT!
Waiting for the snow to start. Then I will turn off the lights, light some candles and make hot cocoa.
Have a nice night, I will check back in tomorrow.
💞 Carole
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@Walela617 Hi Carole, Thanks for your insight. It is super scary when I see in plain sight how hard my heart is working.
My husband on the other hand will have 2 G&Tonics, two glasses of wine and a scotch and then sleep like a baby and his fitbit shows his heart rate is the same whether he drinks or not. We are all wired so differently.
One thing that seems to help me is Milk Thistle. I take 1000 mg once a day (before I drink) and it has helped me immensely with "hangover" symptoms. A pharmacist told my friend about milk thistle. I do know of course it would be so much better to just stay sober. I don't have the motivation right now for some reason. But like you, I will never give up.
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@Walela617 Do you take blood pressure medicine?
I went on it last year but I've lost 36 pounds over the last two years, and I wonder what my BP would be like without the meds. I'll discuss this with my doctor next time.
I just reread your post, and I see that your BP is normal without alcohol. It is scary, isn't it? Hang in there. One day it will click and we will be able to manage weeks and months without drinking.1 -
Good morning everyone,
No alcohol consumed yesterday (AF beginning February 7th, which also happens to be, "Hug and Addict or an Alcoholic Day!) I never even knew that was a "thing"! Check it out:
https://nationaltoday.com/hug-an-addict-or-alcoholic-day/
Boston ended up with about 4 inches of snow and it looks like it's winding down now; so great! It is pretty though, especially on the few trees that I can see!
Hi, @RubyRed427, no, I don't take any prescriptions at all - none. When I quit drinking for over a year, I lost 77 lbs. (back in 2008). I've regained and lost a LOT since then and I am now at just over 154 lbs. (according to the scale this morning). My highest weight was 217 lbs. on February 29, 2008; so I'm still down 63 lbs. - after 17 years! (I want to keep ALL of it off, though! Ideally, I'd like to lose another 15-20 lbs. and - most importantly, maintain).
My blood pressure has already come down a bit and my heart rate is back to normal (62 bpm):
I'm guessing that by the end of this week, my blood pressure should stabilize as well. Also, maintaining a regular sleep schedule is beneficial.
I heard about milk thistle. It's supposed to help cleanse the liver and is often used in liver detox formulations. I can't really afford extra supplements (any more than I can afford alcohol and/or eating out or ordering delivery), but maybe with the money I'm saving by not drinking I'll be able to get some. I plan to do my tax return soon and hopefully I'll get a refund which will enable me to purchase a liver detox remedy.
Off to make some coffee and oatmeal!
Have a great day, everyone!
💗 Carole
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Hi again, @RubyRed427. I keep track of my sleep score too! (Fitbit). It's so much better when I'm not drinking! For example, last night my sleep score was 88 and I got 8 hours and 19 minutes sleep. Last Tuesday, I got 4 hours and 43 minutes and a score of 70 (after drinking, not even binging). When I binge drink I usually get a score in the 50's. It sure does make a big difference with sleep quality and quantity! (I get very little REM or Deep Sleep whenever I binge drink.) Mental Note: So yeah, don't DO that then! DUH! 🙄2
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Good morning everyone,
Boston ended up with only about four inches of snow and now it's over! Yay!
This morning the scale said just over 154 lbs.; so my weight is finally on its way back down! I think there still might be a chance that I can achieve a weight of under 150 lbs. by Spring!🌷
Have a great day,
💗 Carole2 -
Awesome work Carole- the scale is showing your progress nicely.
Re: Milk thistle- I buy 1000 mg from CVS or Walgreens. At CVS yesterday, it was buy one get one free. So for two bottles it only cost $12.50- not bad. I never buy vitamins at full price. I always wait until they're BOGO.1 -
Hi @RubyRed427. That's a great price! There is a CVS about a 5-minute walk from my workplace and there's a Walgreen's practically right across the street from there! I have a CVS coupon for 35% off one item. I'm definitely going to check it out! Thanks! 💗1
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My new cat is using her brand new "cat tree!
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I had a very bad night on Sunday, Super Bowl night. I had nearly 2 bottles of wine during the course of the day. Then I had a horrible night's sleep and terrible, frightening dreams. My late father was in it, warning me about something. I woke up with my heart beating about 100 bpm which stayed high for hours. No alcoholic beverage was worth that. I got up this morning and watched one of the episodes of "Sober...Again" on YouTube. I really like this series. His name is Jae and it is well worth checking out. Anyway, I was sober today and stayed with decaf green tea tonight. I will take a sleeping pill too because I cannot have another night like last night. The bad is definitely outweighing the good at this point in my drinking career. I do not want to be a drinker at all anymore. I hope I can remember this feeling if I am tempted again.
I appreciate the support I get here. Thank you.3 -
Update: I slept like a baby most of the night but had to go to guest room as hubby was starting to snore. I listened to a YouTube "sleep music" and fell back to sleep for another 3 hours.
As you can see from my 2 drastically different posts, alcohol deeply affects my mood and sleep. I am learning a lesson here.
Have a happy day, Everyone
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Hi everyone,
Reporting AF to date, as of 02/07/25.
Dear @sunnyday930, I'm so sorry to hear you had such a rough time but I'm glad that you are doing better now and catching up on your rest! I was feeling very vulnerable yesterday after hearing there are about to be huge layoffs at my workplace (healthcare research), but I resisted and was very relieved when I arrived home safely. I don't know what I'll do if I lose my job again, but I do know that I won't drink alcohol, because that sure won't help! ("One Day at a Time" is good advice, and not just about not drinking!) No one knows what's just around the corner - We just have to keep trying the best we can to make the most of of what we have.
I've now completed 4 days and I'm on day 5. Here's my latest milestone:
I want to check out the "Sober Again" series on YouTube soon.
Have a great day. I will check back tomorrow!
💗 Carole1 -
@Walela617 Thank you for your kind words. I am on Day 3 AF and am sleeping much better. My husband bought some gummies (legal where we live) and I had a half one before bed last night. It helped me to sleep 7 straight hours which is absolutely unheard of for me.
I, too, am distressed about the dismantling of the government. I am so sorry you are worried about losing your job. My sister in law and sister are both vulnerable right now as well. I pray for the stability of our nation.
We all know drinking helps us forget our problems and worries for a while but in the end, only makes them worse. In the morning the problem will still be there, but you will be less able to deal with it if you have a hangover or anxiety.
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Hi, I'm not sure what happened to my draft, but here we go again.
Here is my latest milestone, AF as of 2/07/25:
Dear @sunnydays930, Very wise words - you're absolutely right! Drinking alcohol only makes problems worse and makes it more difficult to cope, especially when trying to recover after a "binge"! It's just overwhelming. That "hanxiety" is the worst! I'm so glad you're feeling better and are catching up on your rest! Would you mind sharing with me the brand and dosage of sleep gummies you husband purchased? I've bought some before and they were helpful, but expensive. (It's legal here too, and there are a couple of stores near me.) I believe I can buy them online as well.
The lady from whom I adopted my cat is supposed to visit this weekend, probably on the Monday holiday because our area is expecting nasty weather Saturday afternoon through Sunday, though Sunday is expected to be rain with temps in the 40's.
The cat loves to sleep on my lap when I'm on the recliner with a comforter. Here she is:
Have a Happy Valentine's Day! I will check back in tomorrow.
💗 Carole
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Happy Valentines Day everyone! My husband and I are taking the 3 grandkids bowling (they are off school) which should be interesting. Luckily, they have lane bumpers where we are going. Then we will go out to lunch. I am not really losing weight though I am day 5 AF. That is my main goal right now and I have faith the weight will come off if I am persistent with the no alcohol goal.2
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Hi everyone,
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! 💘
Hi @SunnyDays930, That sounds like a fun time! The scale is always kinder to me when I'm not drinking. Also, when I tend to binge, it's usually late at night and then I way eat too much of the worst food! I've even awakened (or regained consciousness) after a night of drinking, only to find empty takeout containers all around me and said, "Awww! I had CHINESE FOOD?!" (or it might have been an empty, large pizza box or an empty bucket of chicken, etc.) That's when I stopped having alcohol at home!
Those days are GONE! that was the old me, and THIS is the new one! Below is my latest milestone (AF as of 2/07/25):
Have a great day, I will check back in tomorrow!
💗 Carole
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Day 6 AF today. My weight is stable though not going down fast. I am sleeping like a baby. My mood is so much better. I still have cravings and suppose I always will but they are manageable now. I truly take it one day at a time and don't think about "forever".3
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Hello everyone,~Still AF as of 2/07/25.~Hi @sunnydays930, I'm so happy to hear that you're feeling better and sleeping better! As far as losing weight, losing slowly has proven to be a more surefire way of keeping any weight you lose from coming back. The cravings will hopefully diminish over time. As a "binger", I don't really get cravings. I just need to avoid that first drink! When I'm tempted, I'm actually craving comfort and socialization and/or because I need to "escape". We both know that's a TRAP! I'm feeling stronger now...
Today's "Sober Time" message is: "The marvel of existence calls for celebration every day."
Have a great day!
💞 Carole2 -
@Walela617 The gummies are by Curio Wellness. On the package it says Good Night. The flavor is blueberry. There are 10 chews which I cut in HALF because believe me, you will feel it. They are 10 mg CBN and 5 mg THC. Honestly, they are better than any wine buzz. HOWEVER I do not want to switch one addiction for another so I am only taking these if I am having a strong wine craving or if I am really anxious or something.
ONE WEEK AF TODAY!2 -
Hello everyone,~Still AF as of 2/07/25~Boston ended up getting about 5" inches of snow last night, then it turned to sleet and freezing rain and now it looks like mostly rain. There looks like there's now an icy glaze everywhere. I'm glad I don't have to go out today!
Hi, @SunnyDays930, CONGRATULATIONS on 1 week AF!🏆Thanks so much for sending the info on the gummies, and also for the wise advice about not trading one addiction for another! Cutting them in half would also make then less expensive and last twice as long. I'm definitely going to look into these!
Another MFP member, @200Karen, sent a link on another board that stated the benefits of adding sauerkraut to your diet. I might try that for a while to see whether it helps. I used to regularly buy a brand at Target called, "Crakovia" that also had carrots. I would mix it with "Sambal Oelek" (ground, fresh chili paste, the brand with the rooster on the label) and would sometimes add a drop or two of liquid sucralose. Sometimes I would also add more shredded carrots and/or chopped water chestnuts. This brand has 140g of sodium per 100g/3.5 oz.; so it's not as high as some other brands. They have this brand on Amazon but it's wicked expensive, like $17.99 for about a quart!
https://a.co/d/8ZC9Y9h - That's crazy! (I'm going to see whether they still carry this at the Target near me.)
I haven't gained any weight following my recent gastrointestinal bout. The scale still reads, 153.8. It will be interesting to see what it says on Wednesday (my next challenge weigh-in on two other boards). I haven't been doing much exercise. I haven't felt up to it, but I need to jumpstart that again soon!
Have a great day, everyone! I will check back in tomorrow.
🩷 Carole
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WOW! Abstinence really does improve sleep scores! Check THIS out!
(This is my Fitbit sleep record for last night.) Isn't that amazing?
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Hi again, Blood pressure is also back to normal! (I just had two, large mugs of French Roast coffee too!) Here it is:
How about that?
For comparison, below is my reading from February 6th (the day before I quit drinking - again):
INSANE, right? As in, I'd have to be "insane" to keep DOING this to myself!
I am so relieved that I'm getting better!
Best wishes,
💞 Carole
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Hi @sunnydays930, BUMMER! the sleep chews you mentioned are not available in Massachusetts. That's okay,; I'm sure I can find something similar near me.3
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Look for something with the ratio that I have. Good luck!2
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@SunnyDays930, I will. I might have to wait to see if I get a tax refund, but I'm definitely planning on getting some soon! 🌹2
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AF as of 2/7/25!YAY! I have now earned my 10-day milestone (from the "Sober Time" app!
Have a great day!
💗 Carole
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