Spirit crushed by trainer, must rally
WeCallThemDayWalkers
Posts: 259 Member
Hello all,
I'm just here to vent because I'm frustrated and embarrassed and insulted. Sharing might make me feel better.
My gym held a fitness expo this morning where they let you try out new classes and things like TRX, pilates reformer, etc. They also offer a little "free fitness assessment" where they'll do your measurements and tell you how you're doing. I was feeling brash because, "well hell, I'm at the gym, on a Saturday morning, going to a fitness expo, because I'm fit and that's what fit people do!"
or so I thought.
I decided to get my fitness measurements done. They weighed me. Took my age. Height. Bicep strength. Back flexibility. Body fat % with the little handheld thingy.
I was feeling good. I mean, after all, I can touch my toes, I can run for 30 mins, I can deadlift and bench press and my waist is 10 inches smaller than my hips. I'm nearly 50lbs lighter than my heaviest.
Rather than positive news though, the trainer (who I've never met) sat me down and said "wow, you've really got some work to do. You're only 28 and only 5'3'' and you weigh 170 lbs. That is unacceptable and you need to do something about it NOW".
He then asked me about my diet, my exercise. Told me that I'm lifting weights like a power lifter and that I should stop doing that in favor of functional training. That I need to never eat bread or oatmeal because the Paleo diet is the correct way to eat. That I need to get my body fat % down because I'm very unhealthy.
By the time he was done with me, I was crying. In front of a stranger. Feeling like a complete failure. This person that I don't even know took my measurements and could not tell the difference between me and someone who still drinks sugar soda and eats donuts for breakfast and McDonald's for lunch.
That's why I'm insulted. Because I've made 100's of changes already. Completely altered my lifestyle. And he couldn't even tell.
I'm embarrassed because my efforts are not reflected by my physical self.
I'm frustrated because I've made so many drastic changes and I'm being told to make still more.
(I don't remember the last time I ate fast food, had a margarita, ordered french fries, drank a soda, opted out of exercise, decided to skip calorie counting, etc. etc.) None of this has been enough and I have to quit more things. Man...I do love wheat things and oatmeal.
Well that's the end of my rant. I will get my crap together and maybe see about getting a personal trainer (not that guy though. I obviously need someone a little gentler and more compassionate so I don't end up crying like a Biggest Loser contestant again).
The positive is that after I stopped crying in the locker room, I went up to the treadmill and ran 2.25 miles on the cross country program. And felt like I did well. And that will have to be enough for today.
emily
I'm just here to vent because I'm frustrated and embarrassed and insulted. Sharing might make me feel better.
My gym held a fitness expo this morning where they let you try out new classes and things like TRX, pilates reformer, etc. They also offer a little "free fitness assessment" where they'll do your measurements and tell you how you're doing. I was feeling brash because, "well hell, I'm at the gym, on a Saturday morning, going to a fitness expo, because I'm fit and that's what fit people do!"
or so I thought.
I decided to get my fitness measurements done. They weighed me. Took my age. Height. Bicep strength. Back flexibility. Body fat % with the little handheld thingy.
I was feeling good. I mean, after all, I can touch my toes, I can run for 30 mins, I can deadlift and bench press and my waist is 10 inches smaller than my hips. I'm nearly 50lbs lighter than my heaviest.
Rather than positive news though, the trainer (who I've never met) sat me down and said "wow, you've really got some work to do. You're only 28 and only 5'3'' and you weigh 170 lbs. That is unacceptable and you need to do something about it NOW".
He then asked me about my diet, my exercise. Told me that I'm lifting weights like a power lifter and that I should stop doing that in favor of functional training. That I need to never eat bread or oatmeal because the Paleo diet is the correct way to eat. That I need to get my body fat % down because I'm very unhealthy.
By the time he was done with me, I was crying. In front of a stranger. Feeling like a complete failure. This person that I don't even know took my measurements and could not tell the difference between me and someone who still drinks sugar soda and eats donuts for breakfast and McDonald's for lunch.
That's why I'm insulted. Because I've made 100's of changes already. Completely altered my lifestyle. And he couldn't even tell.
I'm embarrassed because my efforts are not reflected by my physical self.
I'm frustrated because I've made so many drastic changes and I'm being told to make still more.
(I don't remember the last time I ate fast food, had a margarita, ordered french fries, drank a soda, opted out of exercise, decided to skip calorie counting, etc. etc.) None of this has been enough and I have to quit more things. Man...I do love wheat things and oatmeal.
Well that's the end of my rant. I will get my crap together and maybe see about getting a personal trainer (not that guy though. I obviously need someone a little gentler and more compassionate so I don't end up crying like a Biggest Loser contestant again).
The positive is that after I stopped crying in the locker room, I went up to the treadmill and ran 2.25 miles on the cross country program. And felt like I did well. And that will have to be enough for today.
emily
0
Replies
-
You are right...he doesn't know YOU. He probably gave the exact same speech to every person who came through with an "unhealthy BMI". Chin up girly, and keep on keeping on!0
-
Not everyone with a job title deserves to have the role. That guy was a first-class jerk at best, with apparently no communication skills AND a very narrow view of what fitness progress looks like. He made a lot of assumptions about you that are plainly wrong.
I'm just sorry you ran into him.
You are on a good path and getting stronger. Don't let one ill-informed a$$hat define you or your success.0 -
Yanno, I don't think he was even trying to be outright insulting or anything, and I did ask him to take my measurements. But dang...I felt like he was sitting me down and explaining to me that I had only 4 months left to live and that I'd best get my affairs in order cause I'd really screwed it all up.
So embarrassed about the crying!!
I'm sensitive (but I didn't think I was THAT sensitive). He could have had a far better delivery
Surely he's worked with other people who don't enjoy being torn down?0 -
He was trying to make you feel like you had NO CHOICE but to take him as a trainer and 'save' you. If he actually cared- his questions would have been more than 'what do you do for exercise you fat, hopeless lard butt'.
I've had PT's like him before, the My Way Or Certain Doom trainers. Trust me, even their contemporaries don't trust them and feel they represent the industry poorly.
Can you tell it's made my feathers ruffle? I don't think it shows *too* much.
I would have pulled him by the ear into a corner and told him to sit until he could learn to not make people cry the first time he meets them.0 -
He was trying to make you feel like you had NO CHOICE but to take him as a trainer and 'save' you. If he actually cared- his questions would have been more than 'what do you do for exercise you fat, hopeless lard butt'.
I've had PT's like him before, the My Way Or Certain Doom trainers. Trust me, even their contemporaries don't trust them and feel they represent the industry poorly.
Can you tell it's made my feathers ruffle? I don't think it shows *too* much.
I would have pulled him by the ear into a corner and told him to sit until he could learn to not make people cry the first time he meets them.
This!0 -
LOL Gemi!! I wish I had the stones!!
I felt like a little kid getting scolded. I should be able to conjure up some decent comebacks by now!0 -
It should be a marketing speech in the Gym to scare , so that they can pursue you to enroll in personal training sessions to make extra money.I am sure it was a sales pitch. You just do what you are doing and stay focused.0
-
What an *kitten*. Be proud of the changes you made, and when you get to your oal, go back and say "look what I did without YOU,.... *kitten*" keep up the good work
0 -
thanks everyone. It's nice to be able to write it out.
Thank you for the pick me up!!
I also had to cry it out to my bf and my sister. I guess I'm feeling better now. I'm amazed that at almost 30 I still let a total stranger get to me like that!0 -
thanks everyone. It's nice to be able to write it out.
Thank you for the pick me up!!
I also had to cry it out to my bf and my sister. I guess I'm feeling better now. I'm amazed that at almost 30 I still let a total stranger get to me like that!
Well, when was the last time anyone treated you so crappy? It's not something we adults have much recent experience with- I mean middle school *was* quite a while ago
He might as well have pulled your pigtails, called you fatty fatty fat and then tipped over your lunch tray.0 -
Emily: do not even listen to this guy for one second. He sounds like a horrible person. You ARE doing all the right things. Power lifting is just fine if that's what you WANT to be doing, and the Paleo diet isn't for everyone.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with oatmeal and bread...sheesh. What an idiot. Low carb is fine, not knocking it, but he shouldn't have implied that this was the only right way to eat and the way you are eating is wrong.
Tactless, bad taste, horrid customer service and all around awful behavior. I would complain about that service to the gym!
The thing is, you know you are making healthy choices that are better for you. YOU know you're not eating at McDonalds/eating doughnuts every day. If he thinks that, screw him. Doesn't matter. People are going to think what they think...all you can control is your own choices. There are plenty of skinny people who live on doughnuts and fast food, and smoke, and never exercise. Does that mean they are healthy? Hell no. You have made amazing progress for YOU and comparing yourself to you is all you should do.
As others have said, this guy knows nothing about you and is clearly incompetent with his people skills. Wish I was there so I could kick some *kitten* for you. Hope you feel better girlie.0 -
Wordpainter! You are so right. I've seen that poster that says "Comparison is the thief of Joy" and I should heed it.
My whole day was derailed by this event. It was like all of my fears about not being good enough got validated in the space of 10 minutes. I am feeling so much better now. I will keep on working towards my goals and take advice as well as I can.
Gemi is right ... he was trying to sell a service. His sales pitch did NOT work. He was just so...zealous.
I'm not interested in switching to the Paleo, but I understand that it might bring on some positive changes if I start to incorporate more proteins and fewer carbs. There is a female trainer there that I've talked to that I like and might ask her to give me a couple of sessions so I can learn some more compound moves and better form. She gave me a hug when she found me crying in the locker room.
I firmly believe that I need a diet and a program that are of moderate "intensity" so that I can manage them when life is stressful, busy, whatever. This guy told me to never eat noodles. Screw that. No one takes away my pad thai. NO ONE!! Life is for living and enjoying. Not killing myself at the gym and abstaining from things I enjoy (in moderation!)0 -
What's wrong with power lifting??? What a jerk!
And I agree, Paleo is not for everyone.0 -
Not everyone with a job title deserves to have the role. That guy was a first-class jerk at best, with apparently no communication skills AND a very narrow view of what fitness progress looks like. He made a lot of assumptions about you that are plainly wrong.
I'm just sorry you ran into him.
You are on a good path and getting stronger. Don't let one ill-informed a$$hat define you or your success.
I agree with everyone, but especially this ^^! This is exactly why I am completely unwilling (at this point anyway) to consider hiring a trainer. Each has a very narrow view of what is healthy, and I don't want someone else deciding what's healthy for me.
Keep focusing on what works for you girl, and scrub that a-hole from your memory. YOU ARE DOING AWESOME and he doesn't deserve even another minute of your thoughts.0 -
What an *kitten*. He doesn't know you and he obviously doesn't know how hard you've been working!!!
Keep doing what you're doing and you'll go far!!! You've made wonderful progress so don't let some idiot who doesn't know squat about you ruin it all for you.
I've found that having a female trainer was exactly what I needed. Someone who understood the female body and how it works. And she supported me 100% and was always very sensitive to my needs.0 -
oooooh, you need to take some of those new found muscles and show him what strength you do have behind that fist of yours. :explode:
oh, maybe that's the wrong response? right.....maybe I need to go do some yoga....0 -
HAHA! The ONLY test that I didn't get rated "Poor" in was strength. In that category I got "Excellent" hehe. He didn't seem too worried about me terrorizing him with my biceps though.
0 -
agree with what everyone else said... what an *kitten*. And a complete ignoramus at that. Wow. I he is a regular trainer at your gym I'd be sure to spread the word 0
-
Another "Cookie Cutter" mentality! We are not all the same! I think he is very limited in his thinking and might need to seek a new career. Trash truck driver maybe? How can he in this day and time not think that lifting heavy is a positive step for women? And haven't we discovered that giving up carbs is a personal choice, and when you are eating healthy grains, you're on the right track? You know the progress you've made and that you choose to foward a healthy path to reach your goals.0
-
He was trying to make you feel like you had NO CHOICE but to take him as a trainer and 'save' you. If he actually cared- his questions would have been more than 'what do you do for exercise you fat, hopeless lard butt'.
I've had PT's like him before, the My Way Or Certain Doom trainers. Trust me, even their contemporaries don't trust them and feel they represent the industry poorly.
Can you tell it's made my feathers ruffle? I don't think it shows *too* much.
I would have pulled him by the ear into a corner and told him to sit until he could learn to not make people cry the first time he meets them.
This!
THIS THIS THIS!!! And you let us know the next time you run into him, we will ALL go back there with you and take him outside and kick his azz!!!!
YOU ROCK GIRL!! Keep up the good work!!0 -
oooooh, you need to take some of those new found muscles and show him what strength you do have behind that fist of yours. :explode:
oh, maybe that's the wrong response? right.....maybe I need to go do some yoga....
Yoga later, you're in the posse!!0 -
Oh my, I don't know how I missed this thread. I tell you, the hard sell at the expense of someone's feelings....ughhhh! So sorry you had to go through that. He must have missed the section in his training course on Human Behavior and Motivation.0
-
I think he must've! His "gym-side manner" was no bueno.
I think I'll keep lifting heavy stuff! It makes me feel strong and if I do hire a trainer I'll be sure to inform them how I want to do things.
I feel so much better with an army of pi$$ed off women at my back! Strong ladies, all of you. 0 -
Honestly he was probably there to try and sell more gym memberships or training programs rather than actually tell people how well they were doing. He probably said something negative to everyone to create a problem in their mind and increase their supposed need for more fitness. Thats how marketing works you create a need in the consumers mind so they think they need the product or service and so they purchase it. It sounds like the fitness expo was more of a marketing ploy than anything so I wouldn't worry about it. Your measurements are fine and if you know in yourself that you have made progress than thats all that matters.0
-
Wow, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I agree with everyone else - first class *kitten*, and just trying to get you to sign on. It sounds like you've made amazing progress and made changes that are working for you. Keep up the great work, and remember while there are definitely tried and true methods, you need to do what's right for you! 0
-
I think he must've! His "gym-side manner" was no bueno.
I think I'll keep lifting heavy stuff! It makes me feel strong and if I do hire a trainer I'll be sure to inform them how I want to do things.
I feel so much better with an army of pi$$ed off women at my back! Strong ladies, all of you.
Yes hun, you keep doing your thang! If you are ever looking for a wonderful program that can be done at the gym with a tiny bit of effort, look into Cathe STS program....now I lifted heavy (for me) before but she has really helped in the complete toning of the muscles. She has helped me see some of the deficits in my routine...helping to achieve more balance in the muscles. Just an amazing program!0 -
Thanks! I will certainly look into that one 0
-
This guy told me to never eat noodles. Screw that. No one takes away my pad thai. NO ONE!!
Bwahahahaha! I would work up a rage too if someone tried to take away my noodles! Moderation, moderation is the key...0 -
I just gotta say, I got my spirit crushed by a guy at my BBq party. He told me that I had looked hot for about two weeks, following a crash diet, and now I "look my age."
I`m 37, it aint so bad. But he`s 26 overweight and bald, where does he come up with the cajones?
Some people! Sheesh!0 -
Holy crap!!! That DOES take some cojones! What a jerk 0
