A promise to myself.
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girlviernes wrote: »In dialectical behavioral therapy we talk about making a commitment, and being 100% intending to follow that commitment, but also 100% going to be compassionate with yourself if you fall short. It's a tricky concept, but a helpful one I think. Looking forward to hearing how it goes tomorrow!
Thanks!0 -
Me too. My promise to myself today is to come up to bed at a decent hour (by 10) so that I don't eat mindlessly in front of the TV, and to get some extra rest.0
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This is a fantastic idea and I think you're doing an amazing service to yourself. It was inspiring to see your thoughts throughout the day - so similar to my own. It's helpful to know that we're not alone in how we feel.0
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thank you to everyone for your comments, and I am sorry that I haven't been checking this thread to give you encouragement.
It really worked for me, and has gotten me back on track. I think the reason was the constant updates which kept my resolution strong throughout the day - not giving temptations an opportunity to start to form in my mind.
I was 'being in control', rather than 'controlling my urges'. Once the urges start its a battle to win back control. Prevention is easier than cure, but required constant awareness. I didn't give those urges a chance !!0 -
This is a fantastic idea and I think you're doing an amazing service to yourself. It was inspiring to see your thoughts throughout the day - so similar to my own. It's helpful to know that we're not alone in how we feel.
Thank you. I am so focused on 'winning' this battle that I didn't really thinking of it in terms of the big picture - that I am actually doing something really positive for myself. thanks for the reminder
It is a new experience for me to be sharing this with people. I only acknowledged to myself that I had a problem on my hands at the beginning of this year. I had been in denial - thinking that I could control my eating habits if I wanted to; and convincing myself that I didn't mind being obese. I was lying to everyone, including myself.
It is helpful to hear that others go through the same challenges as I do.
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I have been a little out of control the last couple of weeks. nothing major. In fact, I wouldn't even call it 'binging', in the sense that it has probably 'only' been 100-1500 calories over maintenance each day. But each day I think to myself that from tomorrow I will get back under maintenance calories, and then each 'tomorrow' I go over again.
I know that I just need to get back on track and I will be ok. I also know that I am definitely capable of doing this.
So I'm back with another promise
Tomorrow, Monday June 15th, 2015 I will stay within my maintenance calories.
I am absolutely committed to achieving this, and will update this thread as often as I need to during the day to ensure that I do.
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I will also weigh myself everyday until the end of June. I know that for some people daily weighing is not a good idea, but I did it for a year and it really helps me. I changed to weekly weighing a month or two ago because I was no longer trying to lose weight, but I think now it will help me if I see the number on the scale each day.
For reference, for the last 6 weeks, my ticker has shown between 60 to 62 pounds lost. I am happy with this as a maintenance range, and my aim is to maintain at the 60 to 65 lbs lost mark, which puts me in the middle of the healthy bmi range.0 -
I'm so inspired by this and reading through it is encouraging to me to stay on track too. Good luck for tomorrow (I'm sure you won't need it though
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great start to the day.
I weighed myself (which I was not really looking forward to), and I am still at 60lbs lost.
I was expecting to have gained a couple lbs and had my reasons ready, water weight, salty meals yesterday etc
but I'm really happy that I haven't. even though its just a number on the scale, its always nice when its a good number
I feel so positive about getting back on track.
This time yesterday I was aware of the situation I was in, wishing that I would change it but (if I'm honest) not ready to actually make the effort to change. I was on the forums and read this thread https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10184931/what-was-your-no-more-moment and just for a moment felt my motivation rekindled. With that new found motivation I wrote the post above with my promise. That got the ball rolling, and I now feel as though I'm back in familiar territory. Keeping within my calories is something that I know I can do. I have the method. I have the tools. I guess you could say that I have the habit.
I feel as though I have gotten off a couch and am back on a very slow moving treadmill. As long as I don't get off it, its actually pretty easy to stay on - its set at a very easy pace. And despite the effort involved, it feels so much better to be on it than not.
It also feels so much worse to be off it than on.
Writing this post has made me feel even more focused and determined.0 -
So its been a very busy day which means that its easy to stay within my calories.
Now its dinner time and I've got about 900 calories left - pretty confident to say the day will be a success.
In terms of overeating I am not facing too many challenges at the moment. TB is not around, and my overeating triggers are pretty minimal. It has been relatively easy to stay on target, but only because I made up my mind to do so. I would have been over, otherwise.
The only challenge was walking past some shops that sell those pack 'n weigh candy mixes. Before MFP I would buy some whenever I walked past. Often finishing them within minutes of leaving the store and immediately going back for more. Once I started on MFP I stopped having them altogether since it was virtually impossible to know the calorie count. About a month ago, as I was transitioning into maintenance and I decided to allow myself a little - just once...for a treat. Then I had some more another day, then some more another. Well that got me back into my old routine and by last week I was having some every second day. So I *almost* bought some today but I thought of this thread and my promise to myself and so I didn't. It wasn't that hard not to, but I'm pretty certain that if not for this thread then I would have had "just a few" ;-)
Basically, I think I'm struggling with the reality of maintenance. The truth is, if I ate as much as I wanted I would put on weight. The natural conclusion of that statement is that I cannot eat as much as I want. ever again. Now that's a very long time.
I'm not talking about eating from hunger, from emotions, from binging etc. (though I do do all of those things). I'm talking about eating just because I like it. Because I want to. Its natural to want to do something you enjoy, and I want to eat. But I can't do that (as much) anymore. Which means that I am going to have to resist the urge to do something that I want to do. and I am going to have to resist that urge forever.
There are lots of things in life that we don't do even if we want to. Because of the law or because of society's expectations. ie we don't do it because of the consequences. So we control ourselves.
For me, overeating is the same. There are consequences. They are not worth it. I've just got to get used to the fact that even though I want to eat lots and lots and lots. Its not worth it. Maintenance means changing the way I eat forever.
The treadmill is going slowly and its easy to stay on it. I have to make sure that I do that - its a much better ride !0 -
checking in for the beginning of another day.
Yesterday was a success. My weight this morning was on target. Today should be ok, too.
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another busy day, and another day within my calories.
some minor temptations, but I was ok.
My current 'challenge' is not to avoid binge-eating - that seems to be ok at the moment.
My challenge is to not go back to my old ways and regain all the weight I lost.
I guess on some level I wasn't truly prepared for the fact that I would have to watch what I eat so diligently.
This isn't easy !!!
but I am determined.0 -
I see so much of myself in your posts. You're definitely not alone, especially about honestly just enjoying eating. I am nodding along while I read your thoughts.
You're doing great!0 -
Pudding1980 wrote: »I see so much of myself in your posts. You're definitely not alone, especially about honestly just enjoying eating. I am nodding along while I read your thoughts.
You're doing great!
Thank you for your words of encouragement.
One reason I write these posts is the hope that it will help someone else who reads it.
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59 lbs lost.
a little bit
but not really all that bad . I'm back on track, and that's the main thing; plus I'm familiar enough with daily weigh ins to know that fluctuations are normal. My maintenance aim is that even with those fluctuations I will stay above that magical 60lbs lost number. So I'm setting my deficit to 250 calories per day to get back in that zone. (I'm actually happy with my current weight but for some reason that 60lbs loss mark is just a psychological victory - I like seeing it at the top of my page. no worries - it'll be back soon.)
Being back on track doesn't mean that this its all smooth sailing. Being back on track means that I'm in the frame of mind to overcome the difficulties.
This is a lifestyle; but that doesn't mean it becomes easy.
It's a lifestyle of consistently overcoming challenges that arise; and keeping on going no matter what.0 -
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Hi there! I hear you so much on maintaining weight is being so diligent all the time. I thought I had a few years ago, but it doesn't take a lot to get off track and then it seems to take SO much to get yourself back on track. Or at least it does for me.
If you don't mind...I might come into this thread and hang out with you from time to time.
I am moving out of the weight loss phase and transitioning into the maintenance phase. For me that is when binging tends to show up and taunt me. When I am in the weight loss phase, I am so focused on losing that I can pretty easily shut off that part of my brain. It's a strict, always NO. However when I am adding more food and working on maintaining...it gets a lot harder.
My maintenance range is 150 - 155 lbs. I am currently sitting right at 160 lbs. I am starting the slow process of adding calories back each week and that is really a scary time for me.
So, I want to commit to weighing myself weekly....logging my food everyday and eating what I logged.
Welcome !!!
What you described is exactly why I'm here.
I'm hoping that being aware of whether I'm on track or not will help me catch any wobble before it becomes a fall.
When I start to wobble, I post here often. This forces me to be aware of myself - my actions and my thoughts; and to think about what I really want - which is to look after my health and weight.
As I get back on track I post a little less often. It seems to work (for me).
Look forward to succeeding in maintenance together
If anybody else wants to post here to stay on track with something, then please do !
We can motivate and support each other.0 -
thank u for your inspiring posts, I've read them but didn't want to post here
it helps me when I am reading them
since december I had lost all I wanted, and I wanted to maintain this weight
but since the maintenance period began I had two days per week I binge .
very strange as @shell1005 I succeed to lose weight and have restrictive way of eat, and now I can't avoid
binge eating...
but again thank you for your post I've read them every day, feel less lonely against the binge monster
(sorry I don't speak English very well, I am french )
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thank u for your inspiring posts, I've read them but didn't want to post here
it helps me when I am reading them
since december I had lost all I wanted, and I wanted to maintain this weight
but since the maintenance period began I had two days per week I binge .
very strange as @shell1005 I succeed to lose weight and have restrictive way of eat, and now I can't avoid
binge eating...
but again thank you for your post I've read them every day, feel less lonely against the binge monster
(sorry I don't speak English very well, I am french )
Thank you for your reply. (and your English is fine )
For me, succeeding at maintenance is just as big a challenge as losing the weight in the first place. But in some ways its harder to have that same determination when there is no end to focus on.
I joined MFP to lose weight, and had 'total determination' (hence my user name) to do so.
I knew all along that this was to be a lifestyle change, not a diet; but I still had a target weight in mind.
I have now achieved that goal.
In a way I am now starting a new process - a lifelong one - to maintain my weight.
Its a new beginning, and I am trying to start this process, with the same total determination that I had for the last one. Its quite refreshing to see this as a new goal, whose focus is subtly different.
So this is my goal, now. This is what I have to do. This is what I am going to do.
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I have been weighing daily, and my weight has been in my maintenance zone for the last 2 days.
I will continue on 250 cals deficit until I get to the bottom of the zone. I have a couple of events coming up in the next month for which I will probably go over so its good to have a buffer, anyway.
Even though I have a target weight in mind, this is still part of my 'maintenance' goal. You know, that life long goal.
I'm trying to get my head around this goal and to create the determination to achieve it. But because of a couple of things going on in my life at the moment, its a bit difficult. Actually I wouldn't chose to start now - maybe in a month or 2, but not now.
The thing about maintenance is that you can't chose when to start. It starts when weight loss ends - that's kind of the point. Which makes things a bit tricky for me.
Its often said that people will start a weight loss program 'when they are ready'. I wish I had that option for maintenance. That I could say 'hold on, I'm not ready for this, just yet. Can I start next month ?'.
I don't *feel* ready - the 'rest of my life' is such a long time. I feel I really want to prepare for something that big.
So I had an idea.
Whilst losing weight, people often set mini weight loss goals along the way to reaching their target.
I'm going to do the same for maintenance.
So my mini-goal is to maintain my weight until the end of 2015.
To me, that is so much more achievable. So much less overwhelming.
My main goal is still a life time of maintenance. But that's at the back of my mind. My mini-goal is 6 months.
It feels like a weight is lifted off my shoulders, and I can breathe a sight of relief. I ate at a deficit for a year. Eating at maintenance for 6 months should be easy.
I can definitely do that.0 -
it's a good idea and a well goal, I'm sure you will suceed0
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Thank you both for your encouragement :-)
I managed to eat within my calories over the weekend, and was within my target range for both weigh-ins.
The thing about maintenance (and I know I've said this before) is that I didn't really expect it to be this hard - I didn't think I would have to make such an effort, for 2 reasons
1. So many people (who don't have weight problems) manage to maintain their weight effortlessly. How on earth do they get the CICO balance right ? Surely if they can do it do easily, then so can I ?! Obviously not.
2. I honestly can't imagine having to make such an effort for the rest of my life. Though if the alternative is gaining weight then of course I will. But I really just can't imagine it.
I know that one of the principles encouraged on MFP is not to do anything that you can't see yourself doing for the rest of your life. But I can't see myself being on MFP for the rest of my life !!! so where does that leave things ???
It was a real effort to eat within my calories over the weekend. It just wasn't easy. Am I really going to have to deprive myself like that forever ? (The only thing I am deprived of is being able to eat freely. I'm not hungry nor am I missing any specific foods.). But it feels like deprivation.
I can do it for 6 months. I can do it for a year. but forever ? Its just not a great way to live. But being obese is an even worse way to live (for me). So I know that I have to find a way. I'm just struggling to accept that.
Its my expectations that are the problem - I want this to be easy. Or to put that another way, I don't want to have to make an effort. Well, at least, I didn't expect that I would have to.
I'll focus on the next 6 months, for now, and at the same time try to make my expectations more realistic.
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Calories are good, weigh-in was good. Still on track
@shell - great weigh-in news !
thanks also for your suggestions. I especially like "Feeling like something is forever can be overwhelming, so why don't you just say...I'm logging for now. Hopefully someday I will be okay not logging, but that isn't right now, that isn't today." - that's a great way to think of it. Thank you.
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eating still good.
weight still good.
its still hard, but I am not thinking about 'forever' any more - just about 'today', but with no end date in site.0 -
yeah good point, keep staying focus on the present day, every day passed without bingeing is a victory0
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still within calorie budget (its an effort every day, but one that I am capable of making)
and so weigh in is good.
yeah - when its too hard to think beyond the present then its best not to try !yeah good point, keep staying focus on the present day, every day passed without bingeing is a victory
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Wow shell, great update!0
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