A promise to myself.
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Pudding1980 wrote: »TD, I am proud of you for posting honestly. I think that shows what huge strides you have made, that you're admitting the mistake instead of hiding it. Onward and upward!
Thanks
I totally agree about the important of honest posting. Its something I've been doing the whole time I've been on MFP.
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Lately I have been a bit slack in my eating - 'an extra mouthful of this, here', 'a bit over my calories, there'. Sadly you can't run away from the maths - CICO will always catch you.
Fortunately I have been weighing myself regularly.
As of today, I am now outside of my maintenance range ( only by 1 pound ).
So I am setting my target to 100 calories deficit. I want to go into the holiday season at the bottom of my maintenance range. Maybe, even a bit lower to give myself a buffer.
time to be a bit more serious 0 -
I have been a bit more focused and my weight is back within my maintenance range (actually that 1 pound over was just for one day so was probably water weight).
I have to be honest that I'm not doing fabulously - I regularly deviate from my eating plan.
Due to lack of discipline, I may eat all my calories by mid afternoon. I then either go hungry, or exercise so that I can eat, or just eat anyway without exercise and be over my calories for the day.
I guess you could say its ok, because it 'works for me'. But I don't really feel its ok.
I would like to be able to eat reasonable meals and then stop. but its a constant battle, and I don't feel I am getting any better at it.
Still, given that this is difficult for me, I'm doing ok; and I'm happy that my weight is within my maintenance range (which is the big picture, after all).0 -
I think if you're staying within your range, and you know you are eating due to genuine hunger, there isn't anything wrong with that. Some days we are hungrier than others.0
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Its when I overeat (not from hunger) that I get frustrated.
for example, yesterday:
I had all my meals planned. The food met all my macros, and was certainly enough to keep me satisfied all day.
But I ate all of it by 2.30.
Not because I was hungry. My breakfast, morning snack and lunch were enough for me not to feel hungry. I just wanted to eat. So I ate it.
Then of course in the evening I was genuinely hungry. So then I'm faced with a decision - to eat over my calories, to exercise or to just be hungry.
Unfortunately this happens several times a week.
I overeat in the morning (from lack of control, not hunger) and then in the evening I want to eat because I am genuinely hungry. But eating could potentially put me over my daily calories; and if this happens regularly then the weight will creep back on. Its a constant challenge.
In the mornings, when I am eating, I am wishing that I wasn't eating. I am telling myself not to, that I will have no food left for the rest of the day. But I just think to myself that I will deal with that later, that I just want to eat more.
On the plus side, my mornings don't go over that days food allocation; so its not a complete out of control binge. But I am definitely not in control, either.
My expectations have changed somewhat. I now understand that maintenance wont necessarily be easy.
If I have to keep making a constant effort then I am willing to do that. A healthy weight range is worth it.
But I do look forward to the day that its not this hard.0 -
totaldetermination wrote: »Its when I overeat (not from hunger) that I get frustrated.
for example, yesterday:
I had all my meals planned. The food met all my macros, and was certainly enough to keep me satisfied all day.
But I ate all of it by 2.30.
Not because I was hungry. My breakfast, morning snack and lunch were enough for me not to feel hungry. I just wanted to eat. So I ate it.
Then of course in the evening I was genuinely hungry. So then I'm faced with a decision - to eat over my calories, to exercise or to just be hungry.
Unfortunately this happens several times a week.
I overeat in the morning (from lack of control, not hunger) and then in the evening I want to eat because I am genuinely hungry. But eating could potentially put me over my daily calories; and if this happens regularly then the weight will creep back on. Its a constant challenge.
In the mornings, when I am eating, I am wishing that I wasn't eating. I am telling myself not to, that I will have no food left for the rest of the day. But I just think to myself that I will deal with that later, that I just want to eat more.
On the plus side, my mornings don't go over that days food allocation; so its not a complete out of control binge. But I am definitely not in control, either.
My expectations have changed somewhat. I now understand that maintenance wont necessarily be easy.
If I have to keep making a constant effort then I am willing to do that. A healthy weight range is worth it.
But I do look forward to the day that its not this hard.
Could you try to incorporate a morning fasting? I have done this through my lunch period, and it has helped my binge sweets cravings tremendously. I know that this could backfire, but it is actually easier to fast than most people thing, in general. I don't know how it would work with the way you are mentally wired, but it might be worth a try. It will be hard at first, but it can be done by most... I personally find that once that first bite passes my mouth, all bets are off. Keeping it at a stop BEFORE that first bite, is key...
But you would want to have food present, just in case, and if that food is there, you're likely to want to mindlessly eat, so I don't know if this would be harder. And when you fast through the morning like this, you still need to get your entire day's worth of calories, just in a smaller window. Just a thought.
And hugs to you for facing these struggles. I truly remember having them more often than I do now, but no matter how often or how long, they are still hell... (HUGS)0 -
KnitOrMiss wrote: »Could you try to incorporate a morning fasting? I have done this through my lunch period, and it has helped my binge sweets cravings tremendously. I know that this could backfire, but it is actually easier to fast than most people thing, in general. I don't know how it would work with the way you are mentally wired, but it might be worth a try. It will be hard at first, but it can be done by most... I personally find that once that first bite passes my mouth, all bets are off. Keeping it at a stop BEFORE that first bite, is key...
I might try that. Its something that I've thought about before.
I think I'll eat breakfast, but then fast until about 4pm.
Do you find that you are really hungry when you 'break' your fast, and stuff loads of food into your mouth ?
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I have the same problem than you @totaldetermination not the breakfast because the morning I usually don't eat that much because I don't have time, it happens for lunch or snack time .... but it happens when I'm alone . today i eat too much at 3 p.m so I have to not eat until to tomorrow, well it's hard it feels like punish me.
it's a vicious circle I try to not binge but for me it's like bingeing because even if I did not binge I eat all my calories in the afternoon and the evening I can't eat...and yes it's a constant battle.. it's you vs you...0 -
totaldetermination wrote: »KnitOrMiss wrote: »Could you try to incorporate a morning fasting? I have done this through my lunch period, and it has helped my binge sweets cravings tremendously. I know that this could backfire, but it is actually easier to fast than most people thing, in general. I don't know how it would work with the way you are mentally wired, but it might be worth a try. It will be hard at first, but it can be done by most... I personally find that once that first bite passes my mouth, all bets are off. Keeping it at a stop BEFORE that first bite, is key...
I might try that. Its something that I've thought about before.
I think I'll eat breakfast, but then fast until about 4pm.
Do you find that you are really hungry when you 'break' your fast, and stuff loads of food into your mouth ?
Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Generally, I'm getting decently hungry by the time I break it, and that first taste of food tastes like "manna from heaven" or whatever, but if I make sure the first thing I eat is fully on plan and satiating and not a food trigger in any way, it's not too bad.
Since I eat low carb, moderate protein, and fats for balance, I try to make sure the first thing I eat is savory, salty, and fatty (so cheese or nuts or whatever I'm making for dinner - or even a pickle). It kind of helps reset my taste buds too, and generally it kills the sweets craving after dinner, too, though not always. (sweets are generally my cravings)...
I generally have a few bites, then finish cooking dinner, and then eat like normal. Since you're only splitting your calories in two, you can actually guiltlessly eat more food at dinner, because you're splitting the calories in two segments, not 3, so you're allowed more calories, you know?
The main reason I had suggested skipping breakfast was because I misread and thought it was your danger zone... Mine was from about 11 am until 3 or 4 pm....hence the fasting through lunch! I can't fast through breakfast and lunch due to not having a gallbladder (constant trickle of bile with no food causes bathroom...distress...shall we say after about hour 10)... 0 -
and yes it's a constant battle.. it's you vs you...
It is a battle.
Sometimes its easier for me to burn off 500 cals of food than for me to avoid eating them in the first place. and that's not because the exercise is easy. But at least I *can* exercise. Sometimes I feel like I can't control my eating.KnitOrMiss wrote: »if I make sure the first thing I eat is fully on plan and satiating and not a food trigger in any way, it's not too bad.
That might be the trick. I think I'll wait a day before I start and take a bit of time to make a meal plan. give myself the best chance of making this work.
I feel hopeful this might help; though I believe that there is no magic solution and that change has to come from me - another method in my bag of tricks is always useful. and sometimes its helpful just to change things up a bit.
Thanks for your comments 0 -
totaldetermination wrote: »and yes it's a constant battle.. it's you vs you...
It is a battle.
Sometimes its easier for me to burn off 500 cals of food than for me to avoid eating them in the first place. and that's not because the exercise is easy. But at least I *can* exercise. Sometimes I feel like I can't control my eating.KnitOrMiss wrote: »if I make sure the first thing I eat is fully on plan and satiating and not a food trigger in any way, it's not too bad.
That might be the trick. I think I'll wait a day before I start and take a bit of time to make a meal plan. give myself the best chance of making this work.
I feel hopeful this might help; though I believe that there is no magic solution and that change has to come from me - another method in my bag of tricks is always useful. and sometimes its helpful just to change things up a bit.
Thanks for your comments
Yup, that's what intermittent fasting is for me. Another tool in the toolbox! I've been doing this three weeks consistently now, so I'm sure the novelty will wear off soon enough...lol, and it might appear less often, but I really love the way I feel when the fat burning kicks in good... Mentally clear and focused and finally in control! I just have to remember to still eat all my calories and nutrition, or after about 10 total days, 5-6 of fasting, leaves me at a large deficit that triggers issues... But now that I know that, it's easier to watch for that balance. Plan to have lots of water...and remember, even if you make it 30 minutes longer each time you try, or heck, even 5 minutes!, eventually you will get where you're trying to go. Good luck!0 -
I couldn't come up with a plan that I thought would work, and that would fit into my daily routine.
Not because I can't manage the hunger; but having the food around me that I would need at the right time wasn't practical. So I am going to put the Intermittent Fasting on hold for now.
I also realised that in its own way, what I am doing is binging. well, maybe a better name for it is 'baby binging'.
It certainly has binge like qualities in it 'uncontrollableness', though the urges and quantities are far less than a binge.
Hence, its a 'baby binge'.
and what worries me about that is that it could grow up to become a big binge.
I feel that because of where this could lead, and because each day is getting more difficult to control I need to take it a bit more seriously. I hope that recognising where this could lead will help me to make a more serious effort to control it.
At the moment that control is slipping away.
I find it a little bit ironic to have managed the summer with little logging and routine in my life. Now that I am a bit more organised things have started to slip. I think I was so focused and determined over the summer and on some level I thought that I could breathe a sigh of relief when it was over. I need that same determination back !!!
I'm going to log in the Me vs. the Binge thread for the rest of October to get this back in control.
I know what I have to do, and I know that I can do it.0 -
Good for you! It isn't a tool for everyone, so I'm glad you could see that, rather than attempt it with poor planning and let presumed "failure" set you back. Good luck!0
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I feel like I'm back in the flow.
My weight is currently at 64 lbs lost (yesterday it was 62, so there's a bit of fluctuation there).
More importantly I am eating 'normal' meals and following my daily plan.
I am thinking of setting my maintenance zone to be 60lb to 70lbs lost, instead of 60 to 65 which is what it is at the moment. I am finding the 5lb range too restrictive and its too easy to go over. Although it was just for one day I didn't like seeing my weight at 59lbs lost. But the way that I'm currently maintaining, I wait until that happens to take things a bit more seriously.
The top boundary (ie 60 lbs lost), is to give me a specific and measurable point, at which I have to focus and get my weight back down (basically to avoid me putting on all the weight that I lost).
The bottom boundary is a bit arbitrary, really. It just gives me a range within which my weight can stay; and extending it will give me a bigger buffer from the top boundary. Its kind of a mental target - eg I am currently on 1/2lb loss per week to get me to the bottom of my maintenance zone.
In truth I think I look better at 70lbs lost that at 60lbs lost (and who knows, maybe lower than that would look even better ?). But my bmi is healthy, so for now I am very happy where I am.
In practice, my priority at the moment is to learn how to maintain, then maybe in the future I will look at losing more.
My only concern with a bigger range is that if I do have a rough patch, and start to eat badly then I will be able to put on 10lbs before I hit the point at which I do something about it. The 10lbs wouldn't be a problem, but by that stage I might have gotten back into bad habits, and if they have had a chance to become entrenched, then it will be harder to break, them.
OK, so what I think I'll do is have 2 zones.
preferred maintenance zone - 65 - 70 lbs lost
acceptable maintenance zone - 60 - 65 lbs lost
This basically means that I do something about it if I reach 65lbs lost, even though that is still within my maintenance range.
It also means I will still have the psychological victory of maintaining successfully, even if I go out of the 'preferred' zone and into the 'acceptable' zone.
See how that goes.
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calories and weight are on target.
I have finished dinner, and have eaten all my calories for the day. I am not at all hungry.
I want some chocolate.
I'm sitting here, thinking about chocolate and how much I want some. There's no chocolate around and I know that I won't go out to buy any, so I know that I am not actually going to have any.
But I could eat so much chocolate right now.
And I am saying to myself 'well this is my weakness, and I just have to get used to the fact that there's going to be times (maybe quite often) when I want chocolate and I am not going to have any. Its that simple. '; and then I think 'but what if I have some today, and I start getting used to that from tomorrow'.
This train of thought is so common to me. I am constantly battling with it.
not everyday, but several days a week.
PS - I fit about 400 calories worth of chocolate into my plan today. I am not chocolate deprived. I feel this way on days that I do eat chocolate and on days that I don't. Eating chocolate gives me temporary relief from trying to control the urge. But it doesn't make the urge any stronger or weaker once the chocolate is finished. I wish I knew what I could do to stop wanting it. and why it comes in waves and sometimes I want it so bad, and other times I don't. But I haven't been able to find any pattern behind it.
I feel grateful that the urge is not so strong as to be uncontrollable.
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sometimes I wonder if one day they will understand where these urges come from. and then suddenly it will all make sense.
Like blood transfusions used to sometimes work and sometimes not. and then they discovered blood types. and it all made sense. Maybe there's a reason, and its just outside of our frame of thinking so we don't understand it yet.
It must come from somewhere.0 -
totaldetermination wrote: »calories and weight are on target.
I have finished dinner, and have eaten all my calories for the day. I am not at all hungry.
I want some chocolate.
I'm sitting here, thinking about chocolate and how much I want some. There's no chocolate around and I know that I won't go out to buy any, so I know that I am not actually going to have any.
But I could eat so much chocolate right now.
And I am saying to myself 'well this is my weakness, and I just have to get used to the fact that there's going to be times (maybe quite often) when I want chocolate and I am not going to have any. Its that simple. '; and then I think 'but what if I have some today, and I start getting used to that from tomorrow'.
This train of thought is so common to me. I am constantly battling with it.
not everyday, but several days a week.
PS - I fit about 400 calories worth of chocolate into my plan today. I am not chocolate deprived. I feel this way on days that I do eat chocolate and on days that I don't. Eating chocolate gives me temporary relief from trying to control the urge. But it doesn't make the urge any stronger or weaker once the chocolate is finished. I wish I knew what I could do to stop wanting it. and why it comes in waves and sometimes I want it so bad, and other times I don't. But I haven't been able to find any pattern behind it.
I feel grateful that the urge is not so strong as to be uncontrollable.
I know this isn't necessarily the case, but many times unwavering chocolate cravings can actually be a sign of magnesium deficiency. I'm still a chocolate person, too. I find that by using cocoa powder in my morning shake or hot beverage (if you drink coffee, you can put cocoa powder in the brewing part), my cravings for chocolate diminish over the day. I also supplement with chelated magnesium citrate. It doesn't seem like it would help, but it helps the physical part of it...0 -
Well, I was hopeful, so I googled 'magnesium deficiency'.
Usually when I google any medical condition, there are a whole list of symptoms, some of which apply to me.
But not one 'magnesium deficiency' symptom applied to me. not one. Perhaps I have too much magnesium from all the chocolate I'm eating !!
I will probably still get it checked out at some point. But unfortunately I don't think its the cause.0 -
My calories and weight are still on track.
I have also found an eating pattern (meal times, quantities, snacks etc) that seems to be working for me. For the first time in quite a while, it feels like something that I can realistically maintain and that isn't a constant battle to do so.
I really hope it lasts.
Unfortunately its quite specific to my current work routine and my work routine shifts for reasons outside of my control. So it might only be an option for a couple of months, on the other hand it might be a couple of years. I really don't know. But I am grateful for the present.
It is also reassuring to know that if I create a suitable environment then I can make it work. So if work does change a bit then I just have to find another way to make it work. I really hope this lasts !!0 -
Congrats! That's some major progress.... 0
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KnitOrMiss wrote: »Congrats! That's some major progress....
thank you !
though today was a challenge.
my schedule changed, and I couldn't work my meal plans into it.
I found myself hungry and having to do supermarket shopping on my way home.
I avoided the aisles that had any temptations. Then got to the checkout and there was a big box of my favourite food - heavily discounted. I would love to say that I was strong, but I wasn't.
I grabbed one. then another and thought 'oh maybe one more'.
Ate 2 as I left the supermarket, and decided 'oh why not', and went to a takeaway place that I haven't been to the whole time I have been on MFP and bought a meal from there. I have to be honest, I did enjoy it. it was better than I remembered !
My calories today will be over by about 2000.
It wasn't a binge because it didn't have the uncontrollable binge feeling to it.
I just didn't have enough willpower or control, and so I overate. though of course I knew exactly what I was doing as I was doing it.
That box by the til was an unexpected challenge that I hadn't prepared myself for, so my 'natural' reaction was able to take over. I guess it makes sense that it takes time for those 'natural' reactions to change - they come from the core of who you are deep inside.
As much as I am working hard to make this healthier lifestyle work, and am working hard to make this lifestyle as easy as possible for myself, deep down it is not my 'natural' way.
not yet, anyway
I wonder how long that takes ???
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I'd say you did well for not having a plan. Because you know it could have been far, far worse. You still gave in, but in a more controlled way than in the past. To me, that's progress... Keep awareness, put plans in place, etc.
And who knows? It's still not my natural way either, but I've noticed other changes. So it's happens subtly and we barely notice until something else doesn't happen.
HUGS, C0 -
You've been doing awesome! I'm very impressed you've kept up with this!
For me, the healthy lifestyle is a lot of work. Sometimes my life makes it easier but it is always a conscious effort.
I'm not doing well with it this year but hopefully I will get back on track.0 -
danifo0811 wrote: »You've been doing awesome! I'm very impressed you've kept up with this!
For me, the healthy lifestyle is a lot of work. Sometimes my life makes it easier but it is always a conscious effort.
I'm not doing well with it this year but hopefully I will get back on track.
thank you. I wasn't expecting it to require such a consistent effort, but it does; and I really am determined to keep trying to make this work. I feel fabulous now, and I don't ever want to go back to the way I used to feel.
I have settled into maintenance a bit, but it is a lot of constant work. Constantly. As much work as losing the weight was in the first place, I would say. Although I have more calories, I still have to control how much I eat and not let binges get the better of me - which were the two major challenge I faced when I was losing.
In fact, there's a few things that make it more difficult:
1. psychologically thinking that this is how its going to be forever. I'm getting used to it. But its still hard to think that I will be making this constant effort without an end date in site.
2. I have to prioritise other things in my life, which affect how I spend my time and money. When I was losing, that was my biggest priority and I didn't mind missing out on other things because I knew it wouldn't be forever. But I do have other priorities in my life that are important to me, and I can't continue to neglect them. So I have to find a way to hit my calorie targets, within a life that I can see myself living forever.
3. There's not the constant encouragement of the scale going down, or other NSVs to keep me motivated. I try to see every day that the scale is in my maintenance range as a victory but it just doesn't have the same buzz.
Its sure been a learning experience ! I can see how easy it is to regain the weight, and I certainly don't feel like I'm out of the woods. Actually, I'm not sure that I ever will be. I just hold on to my determination to make it work, and hope that that will see me through the challenges that I will inevitably face.
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My weight is at 61pounds lost.
There's lots of parties this time of year, and I'm trying to keep my daily calories quite low so that I can enjoy the festivities.
Usually what worries me about going out of my maintenance range is that it could spiral out of control and I would gain all the weight I lost.
Although my weight has been slowly creeping up, I actually feel in control at the moment, and I know that the gains will end at the end of the month (when the parties stop), so I'm less concerned than I otherwise would be.
Sure, I would like to stay within my maintenance range - it's a real psychological victory. but i'm having fun ! so I might not. and that's ok, too.
or I might try to exercise more. That would be the sensible thing to do; but its the 'silly season', right ?
There's a wonderful sense of relief in allowing myself to not care.
(and doing it with the confidence that I am in control)
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I love seeing such positivity here... I'm struggling myself with the return of doing "okay" while eating off plan and stupid foods and quantities of them for no apparent reason other than logicking myself that I "deserve it." I think I'm going to just relax some through the end of the year, not growing out of my jeans being the goal, and just getting back to it when I'm done with the holiday...0
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Happy to share the positivity
I'm trying not to let the next couple of weeks turn into a complete free for all; but just accepting that some days will go over maintenance. I'm making a point of keeping at least one day a week on track in order to retain a bit of control.
But yeah, sometimes its good to relax a bit
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totaldetermination wrote: »So my mini-goal is to maintain my weight until the end of 2015.
To me, that is so much more achievable. So much less overwhelming.
I did it !!
today's weigh in is my last of 2015 and I am at 61lbs lost.
It feels great to be able to say that I've been successfully maintaining for over 6 months.
Its been really hard in so many ways and I absolutely believe that this thread has been an enormous help. Thank you everybody for your support, encouragement and advice - it makes a big difference.
I can't say that I feel confident that I will maintain forever, but I certainly feel *more* confident than before. I also now know that I *can* maintain forever. It takes diligence, but with determination I can do it
Finding an eating plan that worked for me was a real turning point. The right macros, at the right time in a way that fit my schedule. It was an eye-opening experience to see what a massive difference that made.
I will still be logging into MFP and checking the forums but I plan to take a break from the scale. My next weigh in will be on (or before) January 10th. My next goal is to maintain until the end of 2016.0 -
Today I promise to stay within my calorie goal0
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totaldetermination wrote: »totaldetermination wrote: »So my mini-goal is to maintain my weight until the end of 2015.
To me, that is so much more achievable. So much less overwhelming.
I did it !!
today's weigh in is my last of 2015 and I am at 61lbs lost.
It feels great to be able to say that I've been successfully maintaining for over 6 months.
Its been really hard in so many ways and I absolutely believe that this thread has been an enormous help. Thank you everybody for your support, encouragement and advice - it makes a big difference.
I can't say that I feel confident that I will maintain forever, but I certainly feel *more* confident than before. I also now know that I *can* maintain forever. It takes diligence, but with determination I can do it
Finding an eating plan that worked for me was a real turning point. The right macros, at the right time in a way that fit my schedule. It was an eye-opening experience to see what a massive difference that made.
I will still be logging into MFP and checking the forums but I plan to take a break from the scale. My next weigh in will be on (or before) January 10th. My next goal is to maintain until the end of 2016.
Congrats!!! Those are some huge milestones, accomplishments, realizations, and goals...0
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