A promise to myself.
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I know the feeling! Sometimes I feel schizophrenic. haha It's even worse when it's another person - one who doesn't understand the struggle - coaxing you to eat. My favorites are:
"You only live once!"
"C'mon! A treat won't hurt once in awhile!"
"You have to enjoy yourself!"
Or, the people who have the ability to "overeat" once in awhile (and by"overeat," I mean they have a second helping of potato salad at a barbecue) without bingeing, and think they know what you mean.
"Oh, I know just what you mean! I had a slice of cheese before bed!"
"Oh, really? I ate the whole pound, 2 slices of pizza, a bowl of cereal, and a dish of ice cream."
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thanks guy I feel less stupid, I also sometimes have two voices talking Inside my brain, one is trying to bring me down, the other one is trying to help me figthing against the binge, and since 25 days my conscious brain help me not bingeing, you can do it both of you!0
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Just want to post an update to keep myself accountable to this thread.
I'm mostly on track calorie wise, and weight is in my maintenance zone.
Very few days are perfect. I regularly eat junk that I don't plan to eat, or finish all my calories (and my prelogged meals) by 3pm and then go hungry. though occasionally I just eat over my calories for that day. It all evens out in the end - I have some low days as well.
On the whole I'm doing ok.
I do feel frustrated with myself for not being perfect, but as I write this I can see that actually I'm doing pretty good
I'm hitting the big goals. i'm succeeding, even if I'm not perfect. and that's ok.
'perfectly imperfect', they say. I don't accept myself enough yet to feel that.
But I can look at the positives, rather than dwelling on the imperfections.
and on the whole, I'm doing well.
yay !0 -
Hooray for you!
Having high-calorie days and low-calorie days is just the way of life, there's absolutely no reason to see that as an imperfection! Obviously if you wait a few weeks and see unwanted changes in your weight that's a reason to rethink your eating plan, but otherwise just celebrate how far you've come!
The "come on, you only live once!" voice is a big problem for me sometimes. Usually I try to blame it on the occasion. "Aww, the end-of-the-season party at work only comes once a year, just enjoy it!", "Marshall's cookies are my favorite, I don't know when he'll bake them again, I'll just have a third one", "It's the holidays, I shouldn't waste them counting calories!" But as soon as I let myself start thinking like that everything becomes a "special occasion".
As I near my weight goal, I feel much thinner and healthier than when I began, and I have started bargaining with myself about what is "close enough". One voice says "I've come so far, I want to feel the satisfaction of reaching the weight I committed myself to months ago, the magic number that's been my "dream weight" since high school."
The other voice says, "Gee, another slice of pizza would still be within your maintenence calories...why don't you just give up and start maintaining, you'd get to eat so much more and you're not even that fat anyways, I can live with the last 15 lbs..."0 -
Hi,
I completely agree with you that days of higher calories and lower calories is ok.
For me, the 'imperfection' is that I set myself a target of what to eat for that day and then I don't manage to stick to it. I would like to be strong enough that if I set myself reasonable food aims, I can keep them. Eating all my calories by 3pm and then having to go hungry is not ideal.
that's exactly my problem !FinntheVeggie wrote: »everything becomes a "special occasion".
My 'treats' become the norm very easily if I allow it.
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Just want to post an update to keep myself accountable to this thread.
I'm mostly on track calorie wise, and my weight is in my maintenance zone.
Because of summer, I am still not quite back into my routine so there are constant challenges but things should start to settle down next week. I'm pleased that I've maintained through the summer.0 -
totaldetermination wrote: »Just want to post an update to keep myself accountable to this thread.
I'm mostly on track calorie wise, and my weight is in my maintenance zone.
Because of summer, I am still not quite back into my routine so there are constant challenges but things should start to settle down next week. I'm pleased that I've maintained through the summer.
good job! not easy to maintain this time but september is nearly here!0 -
My weight is still in my maintenance range.
From Monday my life goes back into routine, and so I will begin tracking properly with no excuses.
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A bit of a stumble today.
I think around 3-4000 calories in les than an hour.
I was feeling sick and was in physical pain, but still wasn't stopping.
The situation changed so I couldn't continue, otherwise I probably would have.
As far as binges go, its quite minor and not a lot of calories. But I'm disappointed that it happened, and well aware that it could have continued.
Oh well, its done now and there is nothing I can do to change it.
So 'log it and move on', as they say.
and refresh my resolve for tomorrow - not to let this get out of control.0 -
TD, I am proud of you for posting honestly. I think that shows what huge strides you have made, that you're admitting the mistake instead of hiding it. Onward and upward!0
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Pudding1980 wrote: »TD, I am proud of you for posting honestly. I think that shows what huge strides you have made, that you're admitting the mistake instead of hiding it. Onward and upward!
Thanks
I totally agree about the important of honest posting. Its something I've been doing the whole time I've been on MFP.
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Lately I have been a bit slack in my eating - 'an extra mouthful of this, here', 'a bit over my calories, there'. Sadly you can't run away from the maths - CICO will always catch you.
Fortunately I have been weighing myself regularly.
As of today, I am now outside of my maintenance range ( only by 1 pound ).
So I am setting my target to 100 calories deficit. I want to go into the holiday season at the bottom of my maintenance range. Maybe, even a bit lower to give myself a buffer.
time to be a bit more serious 0 -
I have been a bit more focused and my weight is back within my maintenance range (actually that 1 pound over was just for one day so was probably water weight).
I have to be honest that I'm not doing fabulously - I regularly deviate from my eating plan.
Due to lack of discipline, I may eat all my calories by mid afternoon. I then either go hungry, or exercise so that I can eat, or just eat anyway without exercise and be over my calories for the day.
I guess you could say its ok, because it 'works for me'. But I don't really feel its ok.
I would like to be able to eat reasonable meals and then stop. but its a constant battle, and I don't feel I am getting any better at it.
Still, given that this is difficult for me, I'm doing ok; and I'm happy that my weight is within my maintenance range (which is the big picture, after all).0 -
I think if you're staying within your range, and you know you are eating due to genuine hunger, there isn't anything wrong with that. Some days we are hungrier than others.0
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Its when I overeat (not from hunger) that I get frustrated.
for example, yesterday:
I had all my meals planned. The food met all my macros, and was certainly enough to keep me satisfied all day.
But I ate all of it by 2.30.
Not because I was hungry. My breakfast, morning snack and lunch were enough for me not to feel hungry. I just wanted to eat. So I ate it.
Then of course in the evening I was genuinely hungry. So then I'm faced with a decision - to eat over my calories, to exercise or to just be hungry.
Unfortunately this happens several times a week.
I overeat in the morning (from lack of control, not hunger) and then in the evening I want to eat because I am genuinely hungry. But eating could potentially put me over my daily calories; and if this happens regularly then the weight will creep back on. Its a constant challenge.
In the mornings, when I am eating, I am wishing that I wasn't eating. I am telling myself not to, that I will have no food left for the rest of the day. But I just think to myself that I will deal with that later, that I just want to eat more.
On the plus side, my mornings don't go over that days food allocation; so its not a complete out of control binge. But I am definitely not in control, either.
My expectations have changed somewhat. I now understand that maintenance wont necessarily be easy.
If I have to keep making a constant effort then I am willing to do that. A healthy weight range is worth it.
But I do look forward to the day that its not this hard.0 -
totaldetermination wrote: »Its when I overeat (not from hunger) that I get frustrated.
for example, yesterday:
I had all my meals planned. The food met all my macros, and was certainly enough to keep me satisfied all day.
But I ate all of it by 2.30.
Not because I was hungry. My breakfast, morning snack and lunch were enough for me not to feel hungry. I just wanted to eat. So I ate it.
Then of course in the evening I was genuinely hungry. So then I'm faced with a decision - to eat over my calories, to exercise or to just be hungry.
Unfortunately this happens several times a week.
I overeat in the morning (from lack of control, not hunger) and then in the evening I want to eat because I am genuinely hungry. But eating could potentially put me over my daily calories; and if this happens regularly then the weight will creep back on. Its a constant challenge.
In the mornings, when I am eating, I am wishing that I wasn't eating. I am telling myself not to, that I will have no food left for the rest of the day. But I just think to myself that I will deal with that later, that I just want to eat more.
On the plus side, my mornings don't go over that days food allocation; so its not a complete out of control binge. But I am definitely not in control, either.
My expectations have changed somewhat. I now understand that maintenance wont necessarily be easy.
If I have to keep making a constant effort then I am willing to do that. A healthy weight range is worth it.
But I do look forward to the day that its not this hard.
Could you try to incorporate a morning fasting? I have done this through my lunch period, and it has helped my binge sweets cravings tremendously. I know that this could backfire, but it is actually easier to fast than most people thing, in general. I don't know how it would work with the way you are mentally wired, but it might be worth a try. It will be hard at first, but it can be done by most... I personally find that once that first bite passes my mouth, all bets are off. Keeping it at a stop BEFORE that first bite, is key...
But you would want to have food present, just in case, and if that food is there, you're likely to want to mindlessly eat, so I don't know if this would be harder. And when you fast through the morning like this, you still need to get your entire day's worth of calories, just in a smaller window. Just a thought.
And hugs to you for facing these struggles. I truly remember having them more often than I do now, but no matter how often or how long, they are still hell... (HUGS)0 -
KnitOrMiss wrote: »Could you try to incorporate a morning fasting? I have done this through my lunch period, and it has helped my binge sweets cravings tremendously. I know that this could backfire, but it is actually easier to fast than most people thing, in general. I don't know how it would work with the way you are mentally wired, but it might be worth a try. It will be hard at first, but it can be done by most... I personally find that once that first bite passes my mouth, all bets are off. Keeping it at a stop BEFORE that first bite, is key...
I might try that. Its something that I've thought about before.
I think I'll eat breakfast, but then fast until about 4pm.
Do you find that you are really hungry when you 'break' your fast, and stuff loads of food into your mouth ?
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I have the same problem than you @totaldetermination not the breakfast because the morning I usually don't eat that much because I don't have time, it happens for lunch or snack time .... but it happens when I'm alone . today i eat too much at 3 p.m so I have to not eat until to tomorrow, well it's hard it feels like punish me.
it's a vicious circle I try to not binge but for me it's like bingeing because even if I did not binge I eat all my calories in the afternoon and the evening I can't eat...and yes it's a constant battle.. it's you vs you...0 -
totaldetermination wrote: »KnitOrMiss wrote: »Could you try to incorporate a morning fasting? I have done this through my lunch period, and it has helped my binge sweets cravings tremendously. I know that this could backfire, but it is actually easier to fast than most people thing, in general. I don't know how it would work with the way you are mentally wired, but it might be worth a try. It will be hard at first, but it can be done by most... I personally find that once that first bite passes my mouth, all bets are off. Keeping it at a stop BEFORE that first bite, is key...
I might try that. Its something that I've thought about before.
I think I'll eat breakfast, but then fast until about 4pm.
Do you find that you are really hungry when you 'break' your fast, and stuff loads of food into your mouth ?
Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Generally, I'm getting decently hungry by the time I break it, and that first taste of food tastes like "manna from heaven" or whatever, but if I make sure the first thing I eat is fully on plan and satiating and not a food trigger in any way, it's not too bad.
Since I eat low carb, moderate protein, and fats for balance, I try to make sure the first thing I eat is savory, salty, and fatty (so cheese or nuts or whatever I'm making for dinner - or even a pickle). It kind of helps reset my taste buds too, and generally it kills the sweets craving after dinner, too, though not always. (sweets are generally my cravings)...
I generally have a few bites, then finish cooking dinner, and then eat like normal. Since you're only splitting your calories in two, you can actually guiltlessly eat more food at dinner, because you're splitting the calories in two segments, not 3, so you're allowed more calories, you know?
The main reason I had suggested skipping breakfast was because I misread and thought it was your danger zone... Mine was from about 11 am until 3 or 4 pm....hence the fasting through lunch! I can't fast through breakfast and lunch due to not having a gallbladder (constant trickle of bile with no food causes bathroom...distress...shall we say after about hour 10)... 0 -
and yes it's a constant battle.. it's you vs you...
It is a battle.
Sometimes its easier for me to burn off 500 cals of food than for me to avoid eating them in the first place. and that's not because the exercise is easy. But at least I *can* exercise. Sometimes I feel like I can't control my eating.KnitOrMiss wrote: »if I make sure the first thing I eat is fully on plan and satiating and not a food trigger in any way, it's not too bad.
That might be the trick. I think I'll wait a day before I start and take a bit of time to make a meal plan. give myself the best chance of making this work.
I feel hopeful this might help; though I believe that there is no magic solution and that change has to come from me - another method in my bag of tricks is always useful. and sometimes its helpful just to change things up a bit.
Thanks for your comments 0
