Two months have passed since that eye-opening post, and I haven't binged since
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Some thoughts on this journey, without getting too depressing/ philosophical
1. life is ending: any good time or bad time will eventually pass. It is shorter than you could even imagine, and too often we rush through days hoping they pass. This week I was reminded of this in a horrible way... So enjoy it, make the best of it. Appreciate the people you love: that's what life is really about, not dieting...
2. It is not about the five pounds, or the fifty pounds. The fact that we binge means there's something more than a weight problem. We're not unhappy simply because we're overweight, because sometimes we lose all the weight we want to, and the gain it back: weight loss isn't the answer to all our problems. But we can get better, we really can stop bingeing.
Monday will be 3 months without bingeing. I might even weigh myself then
I can see that I am near to my goal weight, very near, and I am so excited. I am managing the holiday foods really well at the moment. It's like my brain is rewiring.
Good luck everyone!0 -
Summerfit321 wrote: »I now feel comfortable having any amount of any food in the house at any time.
That part is the most amazing.
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Thank you so much for the encouragement. This has been an unbelievable step forward. I can now even forget that there's a certain foods in the house, because my mind is no-longer fixated on them.
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This is really nice to see that someone managed to overcome bingeing and managed the weight loss journey too! I am trying to fix the binge-eating issue at the moment, so trying not track and just stick to whole foods (3 days so far). When did you decide you would be able to start tracking again without it triggering?0
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anna_louise90 wrote: »This is really nice to see that someone managed to overcome bingeing and managed the weight loss journey too! I am trying to fix the binge-eating issue at the moment, so trying not track and just stick to whole foods (3 days so far). When did you decide you would be able to start tracking again without it triggering?
Hey! Once I decided to stop bingeing, I drew up a calendar for four weeks, on which I would simply cross each day I didn't binge. I started tracking on MFP again after 2- 3 weeks I wish you the best of luck! 0 -
It has now been over 3 months since my last binge. My goal was to not binge for a year: I have completed the first 25%.
The urge to binge has gone away complete for the moment, however, the fact that I am on caloric restriction does make me very hungry at times, and sometimes I get anxious over eating even 100 kcal extra, obsess about food choices, etc... I realize that as long as I try to lose weight, I can never have a "natural" relationship with food.
My confidence has improved more than I thought it would. My life really isn't the same anymore. I found that talking to people who really care about you, and explaining what you're doing is a great motivation.
I am more or less happy with the way I look now. I am simply not brave enough to weigh myself, but I think that I have lost about 20 pounds since I stopped bingeing
Holiday season is here, and I am pleased to say that I can treat myself every now and then.
Binge-eating doesn't have to be a life long problem, you really can get better.0 -
Thank you, this is really inspiring Well done, you must feel great. 0
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Congratulations on reaching 3 months without a binge! That's amazing. I know you'll be able to make it to a full year. Your determination and drive are both apparent. I think you're a wonderful inspiration to all of us and we will all continue to cheer you on throughout the year. Keep being amazing!
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floralfriday wrote: »Thank you, this is really inspiring Well done, you must feel great.
Thanks! I really do feel great. Sometimes when I think about it, I find it hard to believe.
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Congratulations on reaching 3 months without a binge! That's amazing. I know you'll be able to make it to a full year. Your determination and drive are both apparent. I think you're a wonderful inspiration to all of us and we will all continue to cheer you on throughout the year. Keep being amazing!
Thank you for the encouragement. 3 months might not seem like a lot, but to me it's a huge deal. Being so desperate and seeing my life changing almost weekly because of binge-eating? I was ready to throw my life away in my early twenties for food... 3 months have changed me, changed my mind and the way I and other people see me. I am now so determined to make this my new life: weight loss will always be secondary to not binge-eating.
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3 months seems like a TON! Heck, for me, 3 days is a huge victory. I absolutely get it. I cannot wait until I'm at the same point. 3 months binge free. It's amazing.0
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Summerfit321 wrote: »Thank you for the encouragement. 3 months might not seem like a lot, but to me it's a huge deal. Being so desperate and seeing my life changing almost weekly because of binge-eating? I was ready to throw my life away in my early twenties for food... 3 months have changed me, changed my mind and the way I and other people see me. I am now so determined to make this my new life: weight loss will always be secondary to not binge-eating.
Oh, three months is definitely a lot, we know!
I like what you said in this post and can certainly relate to it. Thank you for reminding us that this battle is worth fighting!
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I am new to the forums here, and I've been following your story Summerfit321, it is so inspiring!
I do have a question for you though--as someone who started binge eating in the first place in direct relation to severe calorie deficient dieting, but who now needs to lose some weight (due to said binging), how do you go about dieting without it triggering the urge to binge? You mentioned above that you take things very slowly and started off without tracking and then with only a small deficit. You also said in another post that you never go out to eat but do occasionally allow yourself a non-tracking day. Do you think these things have aided in your success while still allowing you to lose the weight? Would you have any other suggestions for someone who finds dieting triggers her binge eating disorder, but does still need to diet to lose weight for health reasons?0 -
I am new to the forums here, and I've been following your story Summerfit321, it is so inspiring!
I do have a question for you though--as someone who started binge eating in the first place in direct relation to severe calorie deficient dieting, but who now needs to lose some weight (due to said binging), how do you go about dieting without it triggering the urge to binge? You mentioned above that you take things very slowly and started off without tracking and then with only a small deficit. You also said in another post that you never go out to eat but do occasionally allow yourself a non-tracking day. Do you think these things have aided in your success while still allowing you to lose the weight? Would you have any other suggestions for someone who finds dieting triggers her binge eating disorder, but does still need to diet to lose weight for health reasons?
Hey! Welcome to the forums
In answer to your first question: Indeed, I never even knew what binge-eating was before I lost weight for the first time, and only started over time through dieting. I didn't count my calories the first few weeks... but I think what helped me most was the fact that I was scared to bits from the bingeing. I had been eating 5000 kcal a day several times a week and I could recognize my rock bottom. It was like I woke up when I wrote that post and so first few weeks just the fear of what was going to happen stopped me, so there wasn't really an urge.
Since then I do eat an average of 1250 kcal a day. I find that eating something I enjoy every single day helps, and for me that's desert. People can say whatever, but I rather eat a few hundred kcal a day of "unclean foods" than go with nothing for a week and then break down and eat 5000 kcal in one day.
One thing I do realize is that we are so afraid of the urge to binge, yet we should really only fear the bingeing itself. I decided that whatever happens, I would rather sit awake all night long and stare at the clock, feel my heart beating hard, etc. than to binge one more time. The urge won't go away immediately: I've had it about thrice and didn't binge, but I know that if I had binged, the urge would have come back sooner.
Stress is always a trigger for me: when I'm angry, upset or stressed my brain asks where the most sugary and fat-filled food is for me to gorge on. I have worked on dealing with stress and other negative so much: that has been the biggest change for me. I learned that you can feel that way and not cover it with food, and as I've done that I feel those emotions less and less.
Your second question: I never track Friday and I love it. I do however, eat almost exactly the same as I do during the week, except for dinner and I allow myself some alcohol and one extra sweet like a candy bar... It keeps me sane, happy, and helps me stay quite strict during the rest of the week, and it gets me to an average of 1250 kcal a day. I have only had fast food once since I stopped bingeing.
Thirdly: Eating out was a downfall of mine. I used to do so every Friday and it made me lose track, and so that has been a huge and not very easy change, but after almost fourteen weeks I'm used to it.
I wish you the best of luck! You really can do this. Just always remember that when you feel like you're going crazy because you want to binge, you can still not binge, and it will get better. And remember that it's just food... nothing more.0 -
Summerfit321 wrote: »One thing I do realize is that we are so afraid of the urge to binge, yet we should really only fear the bingeing itself. I decided that whatever happens, I would rather sit awake all night long and stare at the clock, feel my heart beating hard, etc. than to binge one more time.
Thank you for your advice--it is much appreciated! The quote above particularly rings true for me. I feel as if often I am most afraid of the actual urges, and the feelings I am trying to escape (the sadness or stress or loneliness or whatever) that I forget how truly damaging the actual binging in itself is as a coping mechanism.
And yes to desserts! I completely agree with eating something you really enjoy each day...it definitely lessens the binge urges for me when I know I can still eat decadent goodies (in portioned amounts).
Congrats and good luck with your journey and I look forward to reading more about it! 0 -
Summerfit321 wrote: »
Thank you for your advice--it is much appreciated! The quote above particularly rings true for me. I feel as if often I am most afraid of the actual urges, and the feelings I am trying to escape (the sadness or stress or loneliness or whatever) that I forget how truly damaging the actual binging in itself is as a coping mechanism.
And yes to desserts! I completely agree with eating something you really enjoy each day...it definitely lessens the binge urges for me when I know I can still eat decadent goodies (in portioned amounts).
Congrats and good luck with your journey and I look forward to reading more about it!
Bingeing really can be very dangerous: I guess what you define as a binge changes from person to person, but I know that mine kept getting worse. Eating thousands of kcal in short periods of time, the weight fluctuations, the pressure on your organs, feeling sick, difficulty breathing, and the excessive anxiety caused by it: it was all very unhealthy. I needed to stop sooner than my life was going to change... Indeed, sadness, loneliness, etc... they'll always be there once in a while, but that doesn't mean you need to binge once in a while.
Best of luck to you!0 -
Summerfit321 wrote: »Summerfit321 wrote: »
Thank you for your advice--it is much appreciated! The quote above particularly rings true for me. I feel as if often I am most afraid of the actual urges, and the feelings I am trying to escape (the sadness or stress or loneliness or whatever) that I forget how truly damaging the actual binging in itself is as a coping mechanism.
And yes to desserts! I completely agree with eating something you really enjoy each day...it definitely lessens the binge urges for me when I know I can still eat decadent goodies (in portioned amounts).
Congrats and good luck with your journey and I look forward to reading more about it!
Bingeing really can be very dangerous: I guess what you define as a binge changes from person to person, but I know that mine kept getting worse. Eating thousands of kcal in short periods of time, the weight fluctuations, the pressure on your organs, feeling sick, difficulty breathing, and the excessive anxiety caused by it: it was all very unhealthy. I needed to stop sooner than my life was going to change... Indeed, sadness, loneliness, etc... they'll always be there once in a while, but that doesn't mean you need to binge once in a while.
Best of luck to you!
I made a mistake with the quoting
sorry about that! I meant to quote the part about how damaging bingeing really is.0 -
Losing focus
Those are the two words which describe the last few days. But bingeing? NO WAY! So in a sense everything is okay... right?
Every day I now question whether I still want to lose weight. The truth I am not yet at the weight I was before my last binge-episode: I can tell even without weighing myself, but I'm tired. Tomorrow will be fourteen weeks of no bingeing, and about 10 weeks of really sticking to a low kcal diet. Each day now, I find myself hungry in the evening, and eating an extra 100- 200 kcal, giving me an average of about 1300 throughout the week instead of 1100, but still having that no-log day and above that, I struggle to fund time to do any cardio what so ever.
I've lost and gained weight so many times, that it isn't new to me. I find myself facing that very common dilemma: I really do want to lose weight, but when it comes to the small differences: eating 200 kcal less and burning 200 kcal more, I am often falling short.
And must admit that yesterday was a bad day. I was feeling so sorry for myself. I was thinking about so many things, feeling so much regret and anger, and for a good hour I wanted food. I'm not saying that I wanted a binge, but I wanted food and that can easily change into something else. I ate an orange and one slice of toast: I was hungry. Afterwards I sat down for an hour, talking to my family and interrupting what I had been doing. I could feel the urge building, but I was determined not to binge. After the hour, the urge had gone away, and I was fine. Today I realize how different this moment would have been had I binged.
Pfff... I need to regroup, or at least decide whether I want to lose more weight or take a few weeks off and reverse diet to maintenance. Having a plan and then not sticking to it is frustrating.
And for some silly reason I am still afraid of weighing myself. The scale still holds that power over me.0 -
I'm on my 15th binge-free week. Sometimes I don't take much note anymore, but when I think about it as I write, it makes me smile.
This Friday I ate out for the first time in months. I was scared of eating out: I'd eat too much there, without bingeing, but often come home and eat more... it was too weird, and I still don't know why I did all those things. It was a success! I ordered a normal amount of food, and enjoyed the evening, came home and didn't binge. I simply went to bed and slept, wondering what made bingeing so necessary before. Before I would wake up feeling hung over and depressed, realizing what I had done, but still believing that eating more could make me feel better.
Anyways, I have decided to try and maintain my weight now till the end of January. I am almost happy with how I look. It's the holidays, and there will be some days when I splurge with my family. As long as I don't binge, I'll be okay. It's almost new year, I want 2015 to be a year in which I relearn how to be normal around food. I want to make 2015 a binge-free year.
Best of luck to everyone!0 -
This will be my last post of 2014, on the eve of a 16-week binge free streak.
For me it seems like even longer. Things have changed so much in the past three and a half months that I finally feel like a different person.
I am going to celebrate New Year's Eve to the full with my family. My eating disorder has made me realize- and especially this year more than ever before- how precious those we love really are, how we should learn to enjoy the small things in life, and not take anything for granted.
From feeling so hopeless, so helpless, like I was going to die, from hating what I was doing, hating myself, and then taking it out on those I cared for the most, to being able to spend weeks at home with food all around me, and hardly ever obsessing, never despising, and more importantly, never bingeing. For me that change is more important than the weight loss, which I am also happy about.
My goal for 2015 is just to not binge: I don't really have any weight goals. truth is I love the healthy lifestyle, so I'll probably always be tracking most days and exercising as often as I can.
I wish you all a very happy New Year! I hope 2015 is the year you stop bingeing, and the year you achieve everything you want. 0 -
Big big claps for you!0
