Two months have passed since that eye-opening post, and I haven't binged since
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Many many congratulations (-:0
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Thanks pudding and BB8773
Now over four months since I binged. Right now I'm feeling very "stable" and very optimistic.
It was my first binge-free semester for two years.
I want 2015 to be a binge free year. I want to put my eating disorder behind me and spend the time I used to spend on it doing other things.
I am hopeful. Waiting for the six month mark now.
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Exams are ending in a week.
I haven't binged once: not during the holidays, not through the stress of exams.
I have made so many changes mentally.
Life is still so far from perfect.
I don't think I could physically eat as much as I used to.
Almost reached the 5 month binge-free mark.
I'm feeling hopeful 0 -
wonderful achievement 0
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It is now over 6 months without bingeing... at all. I am happy and hope to not binge ever again. I still struggle from time to time with diet, exercise, body image, hunger, cravings, frustration... but bingeing has gone.0
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So proud of you!!!!!!0
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You have made such amazing progress. Congrats!0
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that's really wonderful.
I'm just curious - is it an effort for you not to binge ie are you fighting the urge, and winning ? or have the urges stopped ?0 -
totaldetermination wrote: »that's really wonderful.
I'm just curious - is it an effort for you not to binge ie are you fighting the urge, and winning ? or have the urges stopped ?
They were completely gone in the beginning... they pop up once in a while. But they go away a lot faster. I still LOVE food and I know that it's something I will never be able to replace. But I can really choose not to binge
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As of today I have lost 8 of the 12 kg I gained. 0
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Excellent, well done
I did exactly the same thing after a 25 year battle with serious binge eating disorder and morbid obesity, countless food plans, therapists, support groups, books, spiritual/religious conversions, meditating on mountain tops in India. After all that the eating disorder was still going stronger than ever then on 10th March 2015 I just decided I was never going to binge again no matter what and I just knew it was true. I feel so liberated and like you that was my one and only rule, no more safe food lists etc , just I will never binge again. I have since discovered this technique has a name and is called rational recovery. Basically just means what you said that we take responsibility for and control over our own body and choices. I am early days still but I just know the battle is over, it feels amazing 0 -
very inspiring especially that you've succeeded for so long.Summerfit321 wrote: »I decided to accept that I had full control over what I ate, how much I ate
I was wondering whether you feel that you chose to make this decision and were just able to do it; or was it more of a 'realisation' moment where you suddenly somehow understood on a deeper level the truth of the decision.
For myself when I read those words, I nod and agree with them. Of course, I'm in control.
But inside I don't feel in complete control. And I don't feel I could just decide that I am in control when I'm not. It would be like deciding I'm going to fly. I can't fly - so just deciding that I can doesn't change the fact that I actually can't. So I'm wondering if you felt like this when you decided, or did something change and you felt the truth that 'yes, I am in control', and only then you were able to make that decision.0 -
persistentsoul wrote: »Excellent, well done
I did exactly the same thing after a 25 year battle with serious binge eating disorder and morbid obesity, countless food plans, therapists, support groups, books, spiritual/religious conversions, meditating on mountain tops in India. After all that the eating disorder was still going stronger than ever then on 10th March 2015 I just decided I was never going to binge again no matter what and I just knew it was true. I feel so liberated and like you that was my one and only rule, no more safe food lists etc , just I will never binge again. I have since discovered this technique has a name and is called rational recovery. Basically just means what you said that we take responsibility for and control over our own body and choices. I am early days still but I just know the battle is over, it feels amazing
I am so happy for you! Reading this gave me chills. Indeed: it is only that decision to stop bingeing. When you haveBED "clean foods" or counting macros/ kcal is not on top of the agenda: it's the bingeing that's killing you. Best of luck. You'll do it!0 -
totaldetermination wrote: »very inspiring especially that you've succeeded for so long.Summerfit321 wrote: »I decided to accept that I had full control over what I ate, how much I ate
I was wondering whether you feel that you chose to make this decision and were just able to do it; or was it more of a 'realisation' moment where you suddenly somehow understood on a deeper level the truth of the decision.
For myself when I read those words, I nod and agree with them. Of course, I'm in control.
But inside I don't feel in complete control. And I don't feel I could just decide that I am in control when I'm not. It would be like deciding I'm going to fly. I can't fly - so just deciding that I can doesn't change the fact that I actually can't. So I'm wondering if you felt like this when you decided, or did something change and you felt the truth that 'yes, I am in control', and only then you were able to make that decision.
I know exactly what you mean. I struggled with that feeling right until I stopped. Bingeing was a lot stronger than me and I couldn't stop. Some days I would cry because I knew I was going to bonge..
But that day I hit rock bottom and I knew I had to stop. My fear then was worse than ever before and I felt like I was standing on a cliff and the bingeing would push me over so I stopped. It was like the reality of what I was doing finally set in. But with time the fear went away and I realized that I really did have control and didn't simply have to stop bingeing to save my life 0 -
8 months without bingeing this Friday. I feel so determined to beat this.0
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Congratulations. and thank you for the update.
You're doing so well - I'm really happy for you. I can only try to imagine how it must feel.0 -
Such an inspiration!0
