47 yo female: expectations and frustrations
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blankiefinder wrote: »Page 1 of this thread has some comments for you about body recomp.
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10009722/have-a-question-how-about-a-live-q-a-starting-in-3-2-1-go#latest
Okay, probably typing waaaay more than I should, but I am sitting at this swim meet for the next four hours, and I forgot a book. . .
This thread was awesome! So encouraging (and yet. . . )!
Mostly encouraging because it makes me feel not so alone. What I am experiencing is not uncommon! And I am not a crazy woman doing everything wrong.
Also, once again time to re-evaluate goals. Yes, I do want to continue to improve my body, but I probably fall into the "abs won't show until I'm a skeleton" category because of my basic genetic body shape and fat patterns. So, yes, I will keep trying to reduce that waist measurement, both for vanity and health (waist-hip ratio), but as my husband has tried to point out to me, "you look fine overall, stop worrying about it"! Of course partly I've been concerned with the slow gain because if that continues. . . .
So, stay the course, watch, make small adjustments, repeat.
Tiger, I understand what you are going through probably better than most in regards to the time issue.
Does your pool have a gym attached? Whenever our kids are competing where there is a gym attached, we usually work out during warm ups, then head back for a second in between races if time, and do a very brisk walk on the track / treadmill during cool down. My kids do a full cool down, so lots of time then! Then we will do the same thing all over again during finals. Sometimes meets are when we get in our best workouts, though we've been known to be pretty sweaty during their race from rushing in at the last second.
We also try to fit workouts in around their practices, i.e. my husband will hit the gym after dropping them off at 5:45 AM, then I will fit mine in during their afternoon practice since I'm stuck there for 3.5 hours anyway.
Yes, unless you've lived the swim life, you just don't get it! It is a crazy sport.
I do sometimes go for a run during warm ups, if I know there won't be any time later in the day! And actually, working out during practices is what got me started running. Because you can do it anywhere as long as you pack clothes and shoes! Unfortunately the gym attached to our pool is waaaay overpriced, so I don't use the facilities, but the only thing you need to run is good shoes and a decent neighborhood. (And good weather is nice). I found that when my kids were young their practices weren't long enough for me to drive to my gym, work out, and get back in Time to pick them up. So I became a runner.
I am lucky now that my oldest son is driving, so sometimes he can help transport his younger brother when the schedules coincide. He is especially helpful at pick up since most of the time they finish together now, and it really is changing my life!
However, after this season, my oldest says he is quitting to play football. (???). Kid is a record holder in our county, and places well at tri-state championship meets, and is close enough to a jr. National cut that it will not be surprising if he gets one this month. But he is throwing it all away to play football. Go figure! After all the money we've spent, and now no scholarship?? I'm so irritated. Plus, it will once again get my workout time because I'll have to go back to taxi service. Okay rant over this really isn't about me!
Anyway, yes, there are definitely ways to fit it in. It really is a matter of making it work sometimes, and if you want it bad enough you can make it happen.0 -
So, it has been almost two weeks now since I disconnected my misfit and set my calorie goal for a consistent 1400 calories a day. That should give me around 250-400 average deficit, based on calculators and prior experience. I did add in an extra 50-75 calories on run days, especially if the run was longer than my usual. And I did run a little longer this week. The weather here was beautiful!
I am still wearing the misfit monitor, and it gives me an average TDEE of around 1800. So not too far off my guesstimated TDEE I am using. (Very close to heybales spreadsheet too.)
This seemingly small change has been difficult for me! I think it points to the fact that a lot of days in the past I have been eating considerably more than 1400 calories a day. But Sunday is a rest day (usually) for me, so historically I have eaten a good deal less on Sundays, so my average intake is not a lot different. But I have really been HUNGRY with this small change. I really depended on throwing in some extra exercise to give me more calories on days I was hungry before!
Anyway, I am coming in at an average of closer to 1450-1500 this week I think, from eyeballing the numbers. I just can't seem to stay under 1400.
If that is truly what it is going to take, I am going to have to be more careful with my food choices. I'll have to have more foods with more protein, and less calories. Fewer treats. Even more consistently healthy choices. This is not my preferred method! One of the things that I have loved about MFP is the flexibility to eat "normally" and live life. I don't particularly like the thought of having to make that change, but truly, you can't have your cake and eat it too!!! I guess I've gotta decide how badly I want to make this work.
Results?? Not positive at this point. I am right back up to my after Christmas weight. Disappointing, but I am hoping for a better weigh In on my official weigh in day on Monday. Trying to remember all that stuff I read this weekend about hormones and water and all.
It just seems so crazy--5 years ago on my way DOWN the scale, most days I ate about 1500 calories a day, and the weight came off steadily and slowly. Does five years (and all the hormonal shifts going on at my age--I won't even go into those!!!) change the metabolism that much?
Wow.
Got a good workout in, though. I'm really trying to push myself--challenge myself with the heaviest weights I can handle (still not a lot for wimpy me!). I expect I will be quite sore in the morning.
Oh, and a NSV--my husband says I don't have bird legs anymore! So maybe there is some body improvement happening here.0 -
In the spreadsheet, add 10 lbs to your weight, and see what the TDEE would have been lugging around extra mass.
That many more calories?
I think it's so interesting to see how the numbers might change with changes to either weight, or even activity level.0 -
"tigerblue wrote: »If that is truly what it is going to take, I am going to have to be more careful with my food choices. I'll have to have more foods with more protein, and less calories. Fewer treats. Even more consistently healthy choices. This is not my preferred method! One of the things that I have loved about MFP is the flexibility to eat "normally" and live life. I don't particularly like the thought of having to make that change, but truly, you can't have your cake and eat it too!!! I guess I've gotta decide how badly I want to make this work.
Results?? Not positive at this point. I am right back up to my after Christmas weight. Disappointing, but I am hoping for a better weigh In on my official weigh in day on Monday. Trying to remember all that stuff I read this weekend about hormones and water and all.
I feel you. Good for you for persevering. I am trying to get the last five pounds off, drop 1-2% points of body fat and it's miserable. I'm hungry ally's e time too and my diet isn't this myhical MFP beast of moderation and treats. At least not if I want to functional in a deficit. It's dinners of Turkey fillet and zuccini. To give you an idea I lost 4 lbs over the last three months. That's 150 cal deficit a day. Every week I have a day where I want to quit. And every week on that day I make myself keep going because otherwise what was enduring all that hungrr for?
Here to hoping maintenance will be easier0 -
Holy cow, I just ate an 800 calorie lunch. That is what happens when I don't check calorie content before I eat. I know better than to do Wendy's drive through!
And I'm still hungry. . . .
Obviously my hunger cues don't work very well.
I now have like 300 calories left for the rest of the day. If I we're logging exercise and eating back calories, I would just go for a run and earn a couple hundred calories to make the rest of my day more tolerable. But I am committed to sticking with this right now.
@heybales--I sure wish I knew how much I was eating before starting on here! At my highest weight of 156 lbs, your spreadsheet gives me about 2000 calories to maintain, assuming activity, bodyfat, etc are all the same (which they were most definitely not). And I wasn't maintaining. I was steadily gaining!
But that does show why dropping the weight was easier in the first place. MFP started me at 1360 plus exercise, for a total of around 1550 most days. This provided about a 500 cal deficit for me then.
And that is without figuring in any metabolic change because of hormones. I read that most women see a 10-15% drop in metabolic rate when they enter perimenopause. And that the hormonal changes encourage "central fat storage" (a nice way to say fat belly!). No doubt that is happeneing. My butt will disappear before my stomach!
That is part of the muffin top problem. I have to buy low rider pants that are too small in the waist to keep from losing my pants! Or if I buy to fit my waist, the hips/butt area look like a skirt! So annoying.0 -
Down 0.6 this weigh in day to 130.8 lbs. waist measurement up 1/4 inch to 29" (maybe I squeezed harder last week.). And calipers measure 8 mm on abs above the hip. Hopefully I am doing calipers right. That is pretty consistent with last week.
Best part is I ate on average 150 more calories per day, and did not gain, even perhaps lost. ( I say perhaps lost because it could be hormonal water loss, based on "things").
I was pretty hungry for the last part of the week, so basically I tried to follow those cues, while still staying under what my misfit was telling me was maintenance. I did really push myself on my strength training in the latter part of the week, and weather issues forced me to do two days of strength training in a row. Maybe that is why I was so hungry. It is funny--cardio seems to suppress my appetite, but strength training wakes it up like nothing else.
My dumbells still feel plenty heavy for my workouts, for 6-8 reps x 3 sets, but sometimes on the squats and lunges my arms give out before my legs. I've been shifting the bells to my hips or shoulders to finish the sets. But then I have to be super careful getting them off my shoulders. I still feel like I've got a lot of progress to make, having been such a weakling most of my life. For perspective, my son, now 16, could out lift me by age 8! Of course that was when I was still a couch potato. But seriously?!? I really have come a long way, fitness wise.
Does anyone have any exercises to help build calf muscles, or will the squats and lunges do that? Mine are soooo skinny.0 -
I recommend elevated calf raises! So use a stair or a step bench at the gym, hold onto something for balance and do a couple sets of 30. My calves are always super sore the next day!0
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Ditto's to calf raises, singe leg, hold a dumbbell in hand not supporting you. Get around same 15-20 reps before burning.
Also, for weights on the shoulders after the lower body routine, pretty sure you are supposed to just grunt and throw them off on to the floor, own the impact!
Perhaps aim them down somewhat so they down bounce on to feet. Try to grunt like your son would. Scare him!0 -
... pretty sure you are supposed to just grunt and throw them off on to the floor, own the impact!
Perhaps aim them down somewhat so they down bounce on to feet. Try to grunt like your son would. Scare him!
^^ Ha! My teenage sons play basketball at YMCA a couple of nights/week. The local college baseball team is usually lifting at that time and they make a BIG scene with all the grunting and dropping weights. Funny thing is, I can lift more than most of them. My kids like it when I calmly walk over into the middle of the free weight area, complete a few sets, then quietly put weights back where they belong. I'm not sure if my boys are proud of me because I can lift more than the skinny baseball guys, but I know they are impressed that I refrain from lecturing them on putting wts away. Oh - and they would be mortified if I grunted
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@labyars, you are right--it doesn't take much to embarrass teens. My existence alone often does it!
Really fighting the mental battle this morning. I am up 1.4 lbs to my highest post-loss weight this morning. Even a bit higher than my weigh in after vacation this summer. I have eaten more for the past two weeks--around 1450 total 2 weeks ago, and around 1550 last week. I had changed over to setting a constant number two weeks ago, rather than relying on logging exercise or using my misfit to report activity. This was because logging activity did not seem to be working. For three years. Perhaps I'm a slow learner. . . .
I'm trying not to worry, but since this has been the pattern for three years--gain and then unable to lose regardless what I do, it is hard. I'm trying also to get my mind away from a number on a scale. Another tough one for me. I think having been so very small and light, even throughout my 20's, really skews what I think is reasonable. (I didn't go above 110 lbs until I was nearly 30--and not because I was anorexic or anything. I stayed that small just by eating healthily most of the time and walking my dog. Really didn't even exercise at that point in my life. I was conscious of weight and eating right and all at that point, but really didn't give it much thought or effort other than making sure I only had one cookie from the break room instead of two! Wow those were the days!) I look at other MFP-ers pictures and profiles, and I can see that even with my frustrations, I am on the small (and probably lean) side of things. But 132 lbs sounds huge to me! And knowing I fit in a modern size 4 doesn't do it for me much either--with size inflation, I know that back in the day (late seventies to early eighties) I would be like a size 10! Which again sounds huge. And goal weights for my frame are predicted to be like 104-118. (Healthy BMI is up to low 130's). Even I know that will not be sustainable!
On the plus side I really am liking my strength training better these days. (Maybe because outside there is an inch of ice on the ground and it is COLD!). That does make it a bit easier to stay on track.
So trying to stay the course. I will re read those threads suggested above by heybales! Thx again for those0 -
It really sucks to be short and over 40 (almost 46 in my case). I've been lifting heavy for 4 months and trying to eat 1200 net calories lately, I have played around with my calories quite a lot since joining MFP. During the week, If I make all of my meals and do not have any alcohol I can stay within my goal and maybe lose 1/2 lb. But have a nice dinner or drink a glass of wine-blows it all to h*ll. I'm sick of losing/gaining the same 3-5 lbs. I'm not trying to hijack your thread, just commiserating with you.0
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@sumiblue--exactly! And although I started this thread looking for advice, it definitely helps to hear I am not alone (saw your post on my wall too!). For probably two of the past three years, it seemed that all I was reading on the forums was about people losing while eating what seemed to me like huge numbers of calories! But of course, when you look at the profiles, they are either 20 years old, or weigh 50 lbs more than me. So, of course that works for them. In the past year I have found many more pals who are struggling in a similar manner to me, and that has been helpful for sure.
I changed my goals from a net goal to a TDEG because I decided that continually adding more exercise to eat more was not sustainable. But After feeling like I was starving at 1400 gross for my goal, I upped to 1500, hoping it wouldn't derail me, but it looks like it probably will. At this point, I think I would be happy to MAINTAIN at 1500. I just know that I can't continue to feel like I am hungry all the time. It just isn't worth it to me. Yes I will keep lifting/working out/running, but I'm not in for lifetime starvation! Does this mean that I will always be bigger than I would like? Probably so. We will see. If I can find that "maintenance number" and continue to work for a little body improvement, that will be awesome. At this point that sounds like a reasonable goal. But if I continue to watch my weight go up, up, up while still eating pretty low and exercising 6 days a week, what do I do? "Everyone" says don't just add cardio. But realistically, what other solution is there?? Low carb?? That doesn't sound right either. Certainly, cleaning up the diet some. But seriously, a nice dinner and glass of wine has to be part of the plan at least sometimes!
Perimenopause sucks. At least full menopause will calm the hormones back down, or so I hope!! And so does being short.
Again, if I continue to watch my weight go up, up, up while eating pretty low and exercising regularly, what DO I do?
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I found this link, copied from another thread, very interesting:
http://strengthunbound.com/metabolism-a-practical-guide-for-dieters/
I have always wondered about the effect of a small deficit applied over a really long time. Is this what this is talking about? Thoughts?
As I struggle with where to go with this, I have to think that finding my TRUE maintenance has to be the first step.0 -
That's what his comment on it was, based on his experience with himself.
That study though seemed to show it was the amount of deficit for these overweight BMI folks, because the VLCD and the 25% off TDEE no exercise groups really took a fast hit in slowdown first 3 months, and then started to recover in the next 3.
The exercise group went in to the diet doing something totally different, so at those first 6 months stage, almost resistance training for them.
Would they have kept having that kind of good results when they got more fit and more cardio from just running? Unknown.0 -
At what point do you concede that the calorie goal you are trying on is just not working? Is 2 1/2 years enough? After one month of red dedication to begin more careful than ever and eating an average of between 1500 and 1600 cals a day, my weight is up almost 2 lbs. (in reality, I have been eating around that same number for most of the past 3 years). I am seriously trying to just wait things out, but I have been struggling with these numbers for 2 1/2 years now. It totally doesn't make sense. Pretty much every calculator out there puts my maintenance at somewhere around 1800-1900 calories. Heybales spreadsheet is about 1700-1800. Misfit is about 1850. But still I gain. Yes, I am a broken record, but this has been the story for all these 30 months or so. And 20 lbs up. The Only positive is that my measurements have stayed the same for the past 10 lbs or so.
So, I am just hoping the gain stops for now--that this recent gain is only water. Basically, I give up. I will continue to log, and also, exercise is now a habit--actually a necessity--for me. But after nearly three years I am weary. If I can't maintain a healthy body weight on 1500 calories a day while exercising nearly an hour six days a week, it is just not worth it. So I guess I will find out where 1500 will take me. Theoretically, the gain will finally have to stop, because theoretically 1500 calories can only support so much body. But I am far outside of theory already at 132 lbs. I hope 1500 doesn't put me right back where I was five years ago. How very discouraging.0 -
Is 1500 gross calories or net? Are you eating back some of your exercise calories? If you already gave yourself a deficit and then exercise you may be eating below you BMR. How's your sodium level daily?0
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1500 gross. BMR is not over 1200 (mifflin calculator gives me about 1180) Exercise averaged out over the week is not more than 200 per day. Run days are around 300-350. I log an extra 50-100 calories on those days. Lifting I guesstimate at 150. I log that at 25 cals.0
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1500 gross. BMR is not over 1200 (mifflin calculator gives me about 1180) Exercise averaged out over the week is not more than 200 per day. Run days are around 300-350. I log an extra 50-100 calories on those days. Lifting I guesstimate at 150. I log that at 25-50 cals. 1500 gross should be a deficit of about 250-300. I concede that I might be enough off with inaccurate logging that my 1500 really is 1700-1800 maintenance. But I really don't think I am enough off to support a continual gain for this many months. (Basically over two years, I believe. I need to look at my records to see for sure.)
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Basically, as I said in the earlier post, I am just totally disheartened and weary with the whole thing. I have worked hard. I never at any point ate an extremely low cal diet. My exercise was always moderate to slightly vigorous. The lowest I ever went was 1200 gross, and most of my loss days (5 years ago) were more in the 1400-1500 range. I have raised my weight goals over the past three years as I struggled , and I finally decided this fall just to try and maintain. But again, if I can't maintain at 1500 gross, how low will the number have to be? I can't add any more exercise, nor do want to, really. At this point I am about 2 lbs away from the overweight category. (And I am at least 10 lbs over what most calculators say is ideal for me. Many say ideal is around 115 or lower. I finally went with the one that said 125 was good.) Again, so disheartening.0
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I'm sorry that you are frustrated. I can only share my experience because we are similar in age/size. I've looked at many calculators and they mostly agree with Heybale's spreadsheet info which I go by (thanks Heybale's!) My TDEE is 1764, my BMR is 1266. I do little cardio-no running; just calistenics/exercise/kettlebell, etc. it's a bit cardio and weights 30 min. 2/wk. I do lift heavy, like lifting my body weight heavy 3x/wk. I tried to do 1200 cal/wk per MFP and was miserable hungry. I only made it a week. My strength definitely went down. I struggled to squat 115lbs when just a couple weeks before I squatted 140. I realized that I was netting below or at my BMR most days because of exercise. The deficit is built in if you put weight loss in your profile. I was cutting further and it was too much. I now aim for 1350-1400 Net calories. I log all my exercise calories and eat them back. You are not sedentary. You are on your feet all day, running around with your kids. I think your deficit is too steep for your activity level. I have read over and over that small, middle aged (ugh) women who don't have a lot to lose need to have a smaller deficit and be super accurate with logging. If you eat out frequently your sodium could be high and making you retain water, too. I don't eat out much at all. I had one lunch with my kid at Bruegger's Bagels. Turkey sandwich on a bagel. Calories and sodium through the roof! I'm no expert. Maybe I'm wrong but this is what I am doing and my weight has come down a bit. I expect it to be slow and that's okay. I know I feel better eating more.0
