The New Water Cooler
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Russ woke up very congested this morning. It sounds like it is going into his chest. He doesn't know if it is allergies or if he has now gotten the bug I acquired from Hannah and Rory. I told him to wear a mask at the appt today.
We have had rain recently so I will be interested to go out to my garden and see how my babies are growing. The sun is suppose to come out today and get into the high 60's/low 70's. It is foggy and wet out right now.
Please send positive thoughts for the cardiology appt today. I can tell Russ is really nervous. I wonder if they will just screen him today and order further tests or do something today? I hope he is not at the point of surgical intervention.
Does it seem like life is just throwing more curve balls as we get older? There is always something stressful happening. You have had more than your share. My retirement life is relatively easy except when Russ has an accident or one of us has surgeries. We never anticipated an undiagnosed congenital heart defect for Russ.
Layney, in FL, turned 1 years old yesterday. We were able to watch her dive into her cake on Portal. She enjoyed the frosting and a little cake and then pushed it away. Karah's parents were visiting them so they got to be there for the birthday party. We were with Miles a year ago on his first birthday. Ellis, in AK, will be 8 months this month. She is up on all 4's and moving forward to get around a room. She moves both arms or both legs at the same time right now, LOL!
I hope you have a good day despite all the worry.0 -
Sending you as much good appointment and health juju as possible. I am guessing the appointment will be a detailed history with Russ telling them as much as he can. Then a physical exam with maybe an onsite EKG. Most likely more tests will be ordered, probably the 24-hours holter (which is like getting a recorded EKG for 24 hours) and maybe an Echocardiogram depending on what they see, hear. It will probably take a while to get all that done and reviewed. But hopefully today will at least begin leading you down the path of finding answers and answers that aren't too scary. Even if medical intervention is needed, often times are less invasive ways now. I.e. catheter procedures.
It has to be more stressful to for him to be feeling unwell on top of everything. I'd say you guys definitely brought back an unwelcome souvenir from your trip.
Can't believe how your g-babies are getting. Time is a thief.
Come on good appointment!!0 -
The appt went well. Really personable doctor and I went to junior high with his nurse! Russ had an EKG and an ECHO already. That is how his primary doc discovered he may have the bicuspid valve. The cardiologist confirmed the bicuspid aortic valve but said they found it early and he just needs to be monitored every two years. They did another EKG at the appt. His blood pressure, pulse, diabetes, cholesterol, and heart muscle are all good and under control. The doc ordered a CAT scan as a baseline and then they would look at his valve in two years if he doesn't have issues. He said he is a long ways out from needing a repair. Russ also knows he has a bundle block but they aren't concerned about that yet. Down the road a pacemaker may be needed if he lives into his 80's. So we are both relieved. We celebrated by going to downtown Traverse City and eating at a really good Italian restaurant. I had been there for my sister's birthday with the cousins and told Russ how good it was. He really enjoyed it too. We are stuffed and won't need to eat until tomorrow noon or later (for me anyway). I will definitely go to aqua fit in the morning to get a good workout.
Karah and her mother have sent me lots of pictures of Miles and Layney. They are growing so fast and I miss them. They will be here in August but haven't confirmed dates with us yet.
Any news on employment on your end? Are the boys working or relaxing?
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What wonderful news! A celebration dinner was certainly in order.0
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I went to aqua fit this morning and wore my new aqua gloves to get more resistance with arm movements. Not as crowded this morning so that was nice. I over did it in the hot tub afterwards. I was talking to a couple of people and started to feel myself over heat. I got out but didn't feel so good. I took a cool shower and drank my water, then took it easy getting dressed. I will need to limit my time in the future. It doesn't feel good when your in too long.
Russ isn't feeling well. Either his allergies or the the bug has him miserable. It's a gloomy, foggy, rainy day so probably a nap day, LOL! Tomorrow through the weekend is suppose to be sunny and nice. I need to do a bike ride at some point.
Almost the weekend!0 -
Glad to get through the week here too. Feeling a bit stronger every day. Still no news on the job offer. He has had more interviews including farther away. I made a comment last night about being disappointed that he and the boys ignored Mothers Day and my my birthday and it made me sad. He said I was sick. I said not on Mother’s Day. And I may have been recuperating on my birthday but would have liked flowers and food. I also stated how this is hard on me too. And he snapped at me. And I walked off. Once again, I can’t say anything that makes him uncomfortable. Whatever. Who cares what I am feeling.0
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I hear you about the bday and mother's day recognition. Just because you are sick doesn't mean you shouldn't be acknowledged. Bernie is the model for the boys and how they recognize their partners later in life. I'm sorry it is so hard to communicate with Bernie. Russ isn't much easier at times.
I am off to shop and go to water yoga.
More later...0 -
I was just trying to calmly state that the lack of any recognition made me sad. Because it did and does. Bernie likes to claim I don't tell him what I am feeling, but there is a reason that I don't attempt it often. It doesn't go anywhere but to make me feel worse. And I am still so emotional right now probably from still being so depleted. And stressed and anxious and, and, and. I was not trying to downplay all the help he did provide for the shower and that he did get me a couple of treats while sick. But let's be real here - he wasn't working and in total it was probably a couple of hours total. And, yes, I know he is obviously feeling bad about the work thing, but why can't I express my pain too. Why does it always have to be about keeping him as even as possible. NONE OF THEM SEE ME.
Hope Russ is feeling better and you are continuing to get back your strength as well.0 -
you know, it's always been that way. Just be happy Marla. Don't you know how good you have it? Nobody could ever handle me having emotions. It's too uncomfortable. I am fully aware of how blessed I am. I am grateful and appreciative of the good things in my life. But sometimes I have feelings. Uncomfortable feelings, big feelings, little feelings. Sometimes I need someone to help carry it a little bit until things can process. But that never happens. Just put a happy face on it. It's more important to keep everyone else in a good place. Don't make people uncomfortable. As my dad constantly reminds me - don't be hard on Bernie. Be good to Bernie.0
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Are your Mom and sister supportive when you express your emotions and how you feel? I am wondering if it just the male reaction you are experiencing? However, the people that love us should be able to listen when we are upset and do something to make us feel better when needed. I get what you are feeling and saying. In my household I was the only female with a husband and three sons. It was challenging at times. I didn't always feel supported or listened to and felt that I didn't count many times. I was lucky I could express myself to a girl friend if I chose to do so. In my experience, it is rare for family members to feel comfortable with other's emotions and just let us feel them, affirm them, but not try to fix the situation. Maybe this is your family too? Vent and say whatever you need to say with me. Don't hold it in or stuff your feelings. That isn't healthy and makes you feel worse.
I watch Rory and his girlfriend Hannah communicate and envy them. Hannah is so good at saying what she feels and telling Rory why she feels that way or what she needs from him. He is learning to listen to her and being more understanding. He is a lot like Russ so I'm glad she is a good communicator. Russ typically projects blame back to me and doesn't accept any responsibility for his words or actions. He rarely apologizes. My reaction is to walk away and give up because I know we won't resolve the problem or come to a good compromise. I should be more like Hannah but I've learned to just let it go and move on. Not good, but that is what I do.
Relationships are hard! If Russ was to pass away before me, I will never date or be in a relationship again. I may get lonely, but I would rather just do things with women friends and do what I want.
I hope you feel normal health wise soon. I wish Bernie would go to couple's counseling with you and be open to working on your relationship.
What is happening with work, interviews, your sister and husband?0 -
My mom is absolutely NOT supportive or able to handle me having emotions. I was an emotional kid and that is where I heard the 'just be happy', 'other people have it way worse' stuff. My sister does so-so. But even with her - I remember years ago I was having a moment and venting and it ended up with me crying and she said, "you know you can call EAP". I have nothing against counseling, I have done it. But not every emotion means a counseling session is needed. So yeah.
The weekend wasn't great. I though maybe Bernie would cook finally. Nope. He and Caleb took off Saturday afternoon to go to the 8-man football all-stars game to support Bernie's high school friend who was being inducted into the 8-man HOF. When I had asked him about it a month ago he told me it wasn't happening. Then I realize those two are gone and when I text them I get the, "going to Casey's thing in Hastings." Nice. Glad he has time and money for that. Oh and it's great Caleb had time to spend with Bernie doing that but couldn't go to a graduation open house with me. So yeah. Still feeling like crap emotionally about all that too.
I mean woo. Weekend.
I am grateful to being getting stronger each day. My goal today is to get back on my walking machine. At least for a few minutes. I am super bummed knowing I am going to have to struggle to rebuild my stamina (AGAIN). But it's time to start.
That's fantastic that Hannah is a good communicator and is 'teaching' Rory good habits. Boys are hard. So hard. So, so, so hard.
Well, let's rock another week.0 -
I'm sorry you can't really rely on your Mom or sister to listen and offer support. I imagine your sister has her own worries right now too. I wouldn't have been able to share my emotions with my Mom either. My oldest sister, Lynn, can be a confidant but I don't totally trust what I say won't go to Becky. I don't want Becky knowing my business unless I share it directly. She is not a good listener and always puts her judgment in there (i.e., discount what I say or try to solve my problem her way).
It sounds like living with guys is just as challenging for you as it has been for me. They just see the world differently and don't do emotions unless it is anger.
We have had great weather but I've been busy with organizing and putting poly on the deck table. Today I finished the table so it will be ready when the deck boards are stained, to put on the back deck. I washed my car and got all the bugs that were stuck on the grill and hood off (from MN trip). Darrin came and washed windows inside and out today so that is done. I called the wall paper lady to come and give me an estimate on the wall paper removal in kitchen, mudroom and laundry. She is coming tomorrow morning to do her "test" to see how easy or difficult it will be to get off. I can't imagine what this is going to cost. I sure hope I don't have to do it myself. My arthritis in my hands has been bad and that would put the pain over the top.
Russ and I went to a minor league baseball game yesterday. These are college players that play a summer minor league. The players live with families for the season and travel with the team. They are called the Traverseeee City Pit Spitters (cherry capitol of the world here). Three of the players on our team are from UN-L. Tickets are inexpensive, not a bad seat in the stadium and fun people watching too. We hope to go to another game before season ends. I have my hat and tshirt now so I can be a fan!
My closet organization is done!0 -
It's quite hot here, so lucky your weather is good.
I'm glad you have discovered a fun outing at the minor league game.
Good luck that your wallpaper isn't too hard to remove so you can get that hired out without too big of an expense.
Tuesday.0 -
They came to do the wall paper test on the three areas today. They said it would be easy to get off from what they looked at and it will take 7 hours. They are a team of two people. The guy comes in with the owner of the business. He mentions that he grew up in this county and never knew this neighborhood existed. I told him I grew up here too and it didn't exist prior to 31 years ago. It was farm land then. He said he remembered snowmobiling here. Then he asked me if I knew someone he knew. So funny! It was my high school boyfriend he asked about. We were a couple for 2 years in 10th and 11th grade. Anyway, they will come out sometime in July to remove the wall paper. Then we can establish our own time line to work on the kitchen, mudroom and laundry room area. They offered to come next week but we are out of town through Monday and my first guest arrives Friday morning. I have to clean, prepare the guestroom and bathroom for Kristin. After they are done we will prime the walls and then let them be until we paint the cabinets and change the counter tops and backsplash. Probably start in the Fall or late winter. What a relief!
We just went out to a local bar for their pizza and a beer. It tasted good!
Russ stained the front porch today. It is a nice color. He said he will have to stain again next summer and it will absorb more color by then. Tomorrow he will do the deck boards on the back deck. We will do the railing in September or so.
I went to the hardware store to buy a shepherds hook today. I needed it for my hummingbird feeder. I had it hanging on a beam over the porch but it would sway and spill sugar water on the deck boards. The ants would congregate there. Now one is in the crab apple tree and one is on the hook in front of the porch.
This area is getting busier with tourists. Not at its worst yet but in a couple of weeks it will be in full swing and lots of people.
Rory and Hannah put in an offer on a townhome but didn't get it. The people that got it waived the inspection and Rory and Hannah didn't. I don't think I could make that big of a purchase and waive an inspection just to get the house over others. Risky...
Mid to high 80's this week!
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My cousin doesn't want to go to aqua class today and I overslept so can't change to the 9am class. It's a beautiful day for a bike ride and I haven't been in so long. That is my plan for today.
Russ is staining the back deck and it is half done. It is amazing how many projects he does in retirement. When working full time it was a challenge to get him to do anything on the house. Now he enjoys the accomplishment and satisfaction of his efforts, although he gets tired out.
The wall paper people said that the new peel and stick wall paper is really easy to take off. A friend is putting it in her laundry room and said if I buy a good quality paper it is also easy to put up. I am going to order samples for my funky guest bathroom. This is the one with the pale pink floor tile, vanity top and pink tile accent in the shower. We aren't go to take out the tile but may change the vanity top at some point. So I am working with the tile and have accents of gray and navy. It looks like I planned it all. I'm thinking of wall papering that small bathroom to tie it all together and make it fun.
How are you doing?0 -
You have such good design ideas and do so well at getting them done. Jealous!
I had to walk out to production floor a couple of times today and that is the most walking I have done in over three weeks. I am still quite weak. It's crazy how someone who is in general a mostly healthy person can have such a puny, weeny constitution that just falls apart when they get sick. It's always been this way for me. When I get something (more than a minor something) I just get hammered and recover SO SLOW. I know people are like, aren't you over it yet? Sigh, nope. Not completely.
At least, it's hump day.
I am attempting to join a mixed quartet for church and will go get the music tomorrow and see how that goes. I haven't done church music since before the pandemic began. I miss it, and this seemed like a nice re-entry. Just one song, in a few weeks. We'll see.0 -
Wonderful about joining the church music group! I know you have loved singing in the past and get such joy from it and when you use to listen to the boys. It will be wonderful for you to have something that brings you joy and social time with others. Do you have to try out or can you just be interested and join?
Russ finished the deck boards today. He will have to put another coat on next spring to even out the color. We let the boards sit for more than a year so they dried out and absorbed a lot of stain. We should have stained last Fall. I went on an 18 mile bike ride. Beautiful, hot day with lots of cyclists on the trail. It was a little challenging for me today. I hadn't ridden since before our Mpls trip and I could feel it. I sat on a bench for quite a bit of time eating my nuts and drinking water. A woman stopped to ask about my ebike so we chatted for a long time. She was in my age group but still had a regular bike but was thinking of getting an ebike. On the way home I had to wait at an intersection on the highway outside our private road for a bit. The county was resurfacing the road with that gravel that packs down after awhile. Just my luck! Dust, gravel, tar, yuk! When I finally got home I had to hose down my bike and try to get the gravel out of my tires. I had tar on my legs so had to scrub in the shower.
When the doctor does blood work on you, do you have low iron? Anemic? Have you had your thyroid checked? I wonder why illness zaps your body so hard? It would be a good question to ask at your next physical.
I am going to order some wall paper samples for the bathroom and stick them up to see what I like. When my friend comes for a week in September, I will ask her to help me hang it. Shouldn't take more than a morning or afternoon. The bathroom is small with hardly any wall space to cover.
I have to pick up my club summer order at a winery/cidery tomorrow. Russ agreed to go with me, have a drink, enjoy the deck and carry the box to the car. Win!
Enjoy your evening!
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My blood tests always come back normal.
The music director just asked me if I would do it. I said I would “try” because it’s been so long since I’ve sung being able to do it will take some practice. It’s a muscle I haven’t used and especially for soprano keeping your range takes practice. But I went to the practice, and we spent an hour working. The Sunday she wants this piece for is a month away so if I work daily I should be able to sound ok. We’ll see. Hopefully I don’t get sick again.
Sounds like a good bike ride until the end
Friday eve0 -
Focusing on your voice and singing may give you something you enjoy and reduce your stress of all the other things happening with Bernie and your family. Will you go to the church daily to practice or practice at home?
I replanted my dill plants today. The first two I bought were very odd looking and not growing. I went and bought two more. Fingers crossed these do better.
My new weeding tool arrived so I began to work on weeding around the perimeter of the house in the wood chips. It is called Grandpa's Weeder and works really well. No bending over, just poke over top of plant, push down with foot, and tilt and pull. Pulls weeds out by their roots.
We went to the cidery/winery and had a drink on the patio. The Canadian wildfires are causing poor air quality and lots of haze here. Today was pretty hazy and smokey. We came home and enjoyed our newly stained deck and then ate dinner on the deck too. The new railing looks so nice and the stain color is perfect.
I have a friend from Mpls coming to visit a week from tomorrow. I talked to her this morning to confirm what she eats. She is vegetarian and doesn't eat dairy except eggs. She is excited our temps will be in the mid 70's because Mpls has had a horrendous summer of high temps since May.
Tomorrow Russ and I are going to Traverse City to buy a couple of bird feeders and shepherd hooks to put them on out in our meadow in front of our front porch. We love to watch the birds and have so many different kinds here.
I am hoping to ride my bike again tomorrow afternoon. I also have to pack for our trip down state to the concert. We will leave on Saturday morning and return Monday afternoon.
Enjoy singing!0 -
Sounds like a really good day for you two. Do you think you will have to do anything to keep squirrels out of your bird feeder? I have been seeing a bunny around my my flower pots. I hope there’s no babies in them again0
