BABIES
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OMG I WANT A BABY!!! AUUUUGHHHH!!!
Lol. I'm having a moment...0 -
I have those moments all the time. haha you aren't alone!0
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I have those moments all the time too.0
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Only 6 more months until we start trying! So excited!
I'm thinking of baby names currently
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That 6 months will go fast! 0
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Heheh there's an "Awesome" buttong now. Anyone see that??
I have been thinking of baby names too lol.1 -
I already have a list of girls names with one absolute favorite.
The boy's name has already been chosen by his family tradition. I don't agree with it, but have been pretty clearly told that I have no choice in the matter. I will be using to negotiate for something I really want should we have a boy.
I have been pleasantly surprised lately to notice my husband talking about getting me pregnant and having kids more often. In the past he has been the one pushing that date further off. So maybe we will actually hold to this fall for TTC.0 -
We have an ongoing verbal list of names we like. We also have some solid favorites but we still add to it randomly. haha
@puffbrat If you don't mind my asking why do you not agree with it? I'm assuming here but I'm guessing the baby is to be named either after your husband or one of his family members? I would also negotiate it. Perhaps it could be a middle name instead?
I'm glad to hear he is coming around more to the idea. I hope you two do get to start trying when you want to!
So, how many kids is everyone thinking of or planning on having/want?
I'm thinking 3. If I want to use all my favorite names, I'll need 6. haha0 -
WifiresGettingFit wrote: »We have an ongoing verbal list of names we like. We also have some solid favorites but we still add to it randomly. haha
@puffbrat If you don't mind my asking why do you not agree with it? I'm assuming here but I'm guessing the baby is to be named either after your husband or one of his family members? I would also negotiate it. Perhaps it could be a middle name instead?
I'm glad to hear he is coming around more to the idea. I hope you two do get to start trying when you want to!
So, how many kids is everyone thinking of or planning on having/want?
I'm thinking 3. If I want to use all my favorite names, I'll need 6. haha
Heheh we are thinking 2. But once in a while we toss around the idea of 3 or 4 hahahahah. 3 is a possibility, 4 would be a welcome oopsie. It's a bit weird but my husband seems to really want to mimic his own family. 3 kids in less than 3 years. Which is not going to happen for me though. Because I just don't want to put my body through that if I can avoid it (though I understand why other women would want that).0 -
I hope no one gets offended, this is just my own personal opinion. I recognize that their are a lot of families with this tradition and it works for them, it just doesn't work for me. I also apologize this turned into a rant, but I didn't appreciate being forced into this position before we married much less got pregnant.
My husband is the "fourth". So he is John Kevin Doe IV, his father is John Kevin Doe III, etc. His grandfather (number II is still alive). I personally find naming a child after oneself a little arrogant, although in this case in can just be called a family name, so whatever. But it is also incredibly confusing to be in the house with two, much less three or four people with the exact same name. To deal with this by giving my husband a nickname that doesn't even remotely suit him. I cringe every time I hear it and I think it's ridiculous to give your child a name that then requires they have a completely unrelated nickname just so everyone knows who is being talked to or about. I hate talking with my FIL's wife because the whole conversation is "my John" and "your John". It's confusing, annoying, and I don't own my husband. He is his own person and I should be able to speak about him without qualifiers. The same thing happens if I am telling a friend or family member a story that involves both my husband and FIL. Their is also a story from when my husband was younger in which the airline thought my FIL had accidentally booked two tickets under his name and canceled my husband's ticket. These are frustrations I just don't want to spend the rest of my life dealing with on a daily basis. What happens if I yell for/at son or husband and they can't tell who I mean?
Also, while my husband is the most lenient of his family regarding the name, this family does not have a sense of humor about it. A month before we got married we went to my husband's cousin's wedding. The groom was his cousin. The bride and her stepmom did the invitations, seating chart, seating cards, etc. They didn't realize that grandfather is John Kevin Doe II not the first, so all the roman numerals were off by one. My husband commented when we got the save-the-date that people would be mad about the inaccuracy. He commented again when we received the invitation and tried to correct it on the response card. Then we got to the reception and OMG. There was complete panic about how it needed to be corrected before some of the other family members including grandma showed up or there would be hell to pay. I just spent the whole thinking, it's an honest mistake, what's the big deal?
I have tried offering compromises like changing the middle name, which the child can then be referred to as or anything else along those lines, but since the tradition is the entire name, my husband told me no. No compromise. It has to John Kevin Doe V.
Part of my frustration is probably related to how I now get named. As soon as my husband and I got married (literally on the checks that were gifts at the wedding) I became Mrs. John Kevin Doe IV. Not Mrs. Puffbrat Doe (my name) or just Mrs. Doe (also my name) and certainly not Mrs. Puffbrat Maiden Name Doe (my new full name). Nope I am Mrs. Husband's Name. I realize that these are old rules of etiquette which are considered polite, but it makes me feel like I am no longer seen as my own person, but as one of my husband's appendages. I don't want to force a child into this same mold of old rules of etiquette and heavy expectations with generations of force behind them.
I have mostly resigned myself to this and am already planning things to use in negotiation for keeping the family name (I get to design the nursery my way or something along those lines).
On a happier note, @WifiresGettingFit we are thinking 2 or 3, but have agreed to take it one at a time. My husband said it will mostly be up to me since I have to grow them and push them out
@VeryKatie my husband and I have agreed not to follow the family tradition on his mother's side of one kid every 4-5 years. I can't imagine stretching out pregnancy/infant/toddler care over 15-20 years and he agrees.0 -
I hope no one gets offended, this is just my own personal opinion. I recognize that their are a lot of families with this tradition and it works for them, it just doesn't work for me. I also apologize this turned into a rant, but I didn't appreciate being forced into this position before we married much less got pregnant.
My husband is the "fourth". So he is John Kevin Doe IV, his father is John Kevin Doe III, etc. His grandfather (number II is still alive). I personally find naming a child after oneself a little arrogant, although in this case in can just be called a family name, so whatever. But it is also incredibly confusing to be in the house with two, much less three or four people with the exact same name. To deal with this by giving my husband a nickname that doesn't even remotely suit him. I cringe every time I hear it and I think it's ridiculous to give your child a name that then requires they have a completely unrelated nickname just so everyone knows who is being talked to or about. I hate talking with my FIL's wife because the whole conversation is "my John" and "your John". It's confusing, annoying, and I don't own my husband. He is his own person and I should be able to speak about him without qualifiers. The same thing happens if I am telling a friend or family member a story that involves both my husband and FIL. Their is also a story from when my husband was younger in which the airline thought my FIL had accidentally booked two tickets under his name and canceled my husband's ticket. These are frustrations I just don't want to spend the rest of my life dealing with on a daily basis. What happens if I yell for/at son or husband and they can't tell who I mean?
Also, while my husband is the most lenient of his family regarding the name, this family does not have a sense of humor about it. A month before we got married we went to my husband's cousin's wedding. The groom was his cousin. The bride and her stepmom did the invitations, seating chart, seating cards, etc. They didn't realize that grandfather is John Kevin Doe II not the first, so all the roman numerals were off by one. My husband commented when we got the save-the-date that people would be mad about the inaccuracy. He commented again when we received the invitation and tried to correct it on the response card. Then we got to the reception and OMG. There was complete panic about how it needed to be corrected before some of the other family members including grandma showed up or there would be hell to pay. I just spent the whole thinking, it's an honest mistake, what's the big deal?
I have tried offering compromises like changing the middle name, which the child can then be referred to as or anything else along those lines, but since the tradition is the entire name, my husband told me no. No compromise. It has to John Kevin Doe V.
Part of my frustration is probably related to how I now get named. As soon as my husband and I got married (literally on the checks that were gifts at the wedding) I became Mrs. John Kevin Doe IV. Not Mrs. Puffbrat Doe (my name) or just Mrs. Doe (also my name) and certainly not Mrs. Puffbrat Maiden Name Doe (my new full name). Nope I am Mrs. Husband's Name. I realize that these are old rules of etiquette which are considered polite, but it makes me feel like I am no longer seen as my own person, but as one of my husband's appendages. I don't want to force a child into this same mold of old rules of etiquette and heavy expectations with generations of force behind them.
I have mostly resigned myself to this and am already planning things to use in negotiation for keeping the family name (I get to design the nursery my way or something along those lines).
On a happier note, @WifiresGettingFit we are thinking 2 or 3, but have agreed to take it one at a time. My husband said it will mostly be up to me since I have to grow them and push them out
@VeryKatie my husband and I have agreed not to follow the family tradition on his mother's side of one kid every 4-5 years. I can't imagine stretching out pregnancy/infant/toddler care over 15-20 years and he agrees.0 -
I hope no one gets offended, this is just my own personal opinion. I recognize that their are a lot of families with this tradition and it works for them, it just doesn't work for me. I also apologize this turned into a rant, but I didn't appreciate being forced into this position before we married much less got pregnant.
My husband is the "fourth". So he is John Kevin Doe IV, his father is John Kevin Doe III, etc. His grandfather (number II is still alive). I personally find naming a child after oneself a little arrogant, although in this case in can just be called a family name, so whatever. But it is also incredibly confusing to be in the house with two, much less three or four people with the exact same name. To deal with this by giving my husband a nickname that doesn't even remotely suit him. I cringe every time I hear it and I think it's ridiculous to give your child a name that then requires they have a completely unrelated nickname just so everyone knows who is being talked to or about. I hate talking with my FIL's wife because the whole conversation is "my John" and "your John". It's confusing, annoying, and I don't own my husband. He is his own person and I should be able to speak about him without qualifiers. The same thing happens if I am telling a friend or family member a story that involves both my husband and FIL. Their is also a story from when my husband was younger in which the airline thought my FIL had accidentally booked two tickets under his name and canceled my husband's ticket. These are frustrations I just don't want to spend the rest of my life dealing with on a daily basis. What happens if I yell for/at son or husband and they can't tell who I mean?
Also, while my husband is the most lenient of his family regarding the name, this family does not have a sense of humor about it. A month before we got married we went to my husband's cousin's wedding. The groom was his cousin. The bride and her stepmom did the invitations, seating chart, seating cards, etc. They didn't realize that grandfather is John Kevin Doe II not the first, so all the roman numerals were off by one. My husband commented when we got the save-the-date that people would be mad about the inaccuracy. He commented again when we received the invitation and tried to correct it on the response card. Then we got to the reception and OMG. There was complete panic about how it needed to be corrected before some of the other family members including grandma showed up or there would be hell to pay. I just spent the whole thinking, it's an honest mistake, what's the big deal?
I have tried offering compromises like changing the middle name, which the child can then be referred to as or anything else along those lines, but since the tradition is the entire name, my husband told me no. No compromise. It has to John Kevin Doe V.
Part of my frustration is probably related to how I now get named. As soon as my husband and I got married (literally on the checks that were gifts at the wedding) I became Mrs. John Kevin Doe IV. Not Mrs. Puffbrat Doe (my name) or just Mrs. Doe (also my name) and certainly not Mrs. Puffbrat Maiden Name Doe (my new full name). Nope I am Mrs. Husband's Name. I realize that these are old rules of etiquette which are considered polite, but it makes me feel like I am no longer seen as my own person, but as one of my husband's appendages. I don't want to force a child into this same mold of old rules of etiquette and heavy expectations with generations of force behind them.
I have mostly resigned myself to this and am already planning things to use in negotiation for keeping the family name (I get to design the nursery my way or something along those lines).
On a happier note, @WifiresGettingFit we are thinking 2 or 3, but have agreed to take it one at a time. My husband said it will mostly be up to me since I have to grow them and push them out
@VeryKatie my husband and I have agreed not to follow the family tradition on his mother's side of one kid every 4-5 years. I can't imagine stretching out pregnancy/infant/toddler care over 15-20 years and he agrees.
I actually agree with you 99%. The 1% being that I'm one who would fight it forever, never resign. Naming a child is a big deal and both parents need to be 100% happy. Designing a nursery wouldn't even be a big enough negotiation point. I'd at least say you get 100% choice on the name for the next child and pick something you like. Honestly if it's a strong enough dislike, it's almost like negotiation point for the rest of the child's life... since it's a decision that will affect his whole life... But that's me. I have a tenancy toward extreme stubbornness that probably isn't healthy...
And I agree not every 4-5 years either, that's too far apart! I want 12-18 months between giving birth and trying for the next one. It's what doctors recommend as the minimum for a healthy next pregnancy. Otherwise one's body may not be fully healed. For frame of reference, my husband and his sister are 11 months and 3 weeks apart in age. My MIL would have been pregnant 2 months after giving birth to her first. 8 weeks. Some doctors don't even recommend sex for 6 to 8 weeks after birth. So I mean their family is awesome, and if it worked for them great, but all I can think of is "OUCH!!!"0 -
@VeryKatie 3 kids in 3 years wouldn't be for me either. @puffbrat I can't imagine stretching it over 4-5 years either.
I'm thinking maybe one every 2-3 years. I've noticed at least in the pregnant women I've been around that they usually start getting baby fever again around the time their baby turns 2 so it'll work out. haha We may start trying as earlier as a 1 1/2 years since my boyfriend is significantly older than I am but probably no sooner than that.
@puffbrat I'm actually in agreement with you and like VeryKatie I don't know if I could resign my stance on it. My cousin and his wife could never agree on a baby name so all their kids have two middle names. He actually wanted his kid (his first son) to be named after him but his wife said no so now their first son is named Jack John Smith Doe IV as opposed to just John Smith Doe IV.
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One every 1.5-3 years sounds reasonable to me. Certainly easier on the body than one every year or less!
It's nice to hear that I'm not totally crazy or heartless for not agreeing with the family naming tradition.
@VeryKatie I agree with you that naming a child is huge! I think that is why I get so wound up about it and can't let it go. Especially when I see the small issues/annoyances that already happen in this family from so many people having the same name. Like I said, I also take it personally because I feel like this family has already done the same thing to my name. They adjusted to fit their family rules and expectations. So now instead of my own name, I share the same name, different number, as three other living women (Mrs. John Kevin Doe). Maybe they just can only remember a couple of names and that's why they want everyone to be the same
I haven't totally decided whether or not to resign on the name. I go through fazes of resignation and determination to fight. I am trying to learn not to be so stubborn but I am also trying to teach my husband that our life together doesn't have to follow all of his family's rules and traditions. I suspect my husband and I will both have to decide how strongly we feel about it once I get pregnant and if the baby is a boy. I put in the nursery as a negotiation example because I got so tied up in my frustration that I lost my train of thought. I am actually thinking a more reasonable compromise would be that I get to pick the next child's name or I get to pick the name for any girls we have.
@WifiresGettingFit I like the idea of sneaking in an extra middle name. I will try suggesting that, although I suspect it will get shot down.0 -
@puffbrat No, there is nothing crazy/heartless about how you feel.
You're probably right about it getting shot down since you already said it has to be the exact name but it doesn't hurt to suggest anyway. I hope when the times does come for you two to have to decide, you're able to find something that makes you both happy.
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Thanks @WifiresGettingFit. I really appreciate the support. I have no doubt that my husband and I will figure something out that we are both happy with. He is a wonderful man and takes my opinions and feelings seriously, so I don't think I will be totally stonewalled. I clearly just have a lot of frustration from fighting this fight before we have even started TTC.0
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@puffbrat You're welcome, it's one of the things i'm here for! Yeah, it is quite a fight to fight and I can understand the frustration. Maybe you'll have all girls :P 0
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@WifiresGettingFit Girls would be great A friend already told me that I have to have a girl because she didn't get hers (2 boys that are her world) and wants to spoil mine. 0
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@puffbrat haha yeah, it would definitely take care of that name issue :P
You'll be doing plenty of your own spoiling I'm sure. :P0 -
@puffbrat ugh that is a sucky situation! It sounds like you are close to your husbands family, so you will be seeing these people often. I think either way you will be unhappy unfortunately. If you choose to name your son something different, they may hold it against you for the rest of your life, or tell son "you should have been John Jacob Jinglehimer Smith V, but your MOTHER chose Bob! That would cause issues and really make you angry. On the flip side, you may feel resentment at every Christmas, birthday and get together when there are 5 John Jacob Jinglehimer Smiths running around and you don't know who is who. Bad situation all around.
My advice? Hope for a girl
I don't know if hubby and I will decide easily on names, he refuses to talk about it until we have a bun in the oven. I will randomly ask him what he thinks of "Emily" and he says "I work with an Emily! No way, shes weird." no matter what the name, he knows someone who has that name and doesn't want to "name our baby after that woman in HR."
I'm like...we aren't naming them after that person...?
He has a suuuuuper popular name though and I know like 4 other people in my immediate work/family/friend circle with that name and so does he, so that gets annoying. My name, KIRstie (not kRIstie) is very unique and I haven't ever come across someone with the same name, so I get wanting to be original. I just wish we could start a name list!
I really like Allison for a girl. It was very popular when i was growing up, but has fallen I think on the name ratings-is around 40 in US names for girls and has been there for the last several years. So its not a weird name, but not super popular anymore either.
I dont want my kid to be one of 4 Isabellas or Madisons in her class.
Anyone want to share your baby name list for fun?
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