Check In
Replies
-
I'm stress eating, have been for weeks. Ready for a debbie downer post??
We had a hail storm a month ago that damaged my car and house. Hubbys car was safe in the garage...but now my husbands windshield needs replaced from a stray rock! I got my MRI results back (for my leg pain going on 6+ months) and I have lumbar stenosis, which is a narrowing of the spine, and also a slipped disk. The stenosis usually shows with age, people over 50 get it. It could require surgery. My symptoms are sciatic like pain while standing, which will get worse if I gain weight. This isnt good for TTC. I have an appointment next Tuesday with a spine specialist...but that's the end of my next FW. Idk if we should hold off ttc this month or not
Work isnt going well (sales are wayyyy down) and hubbys mother has 3 separate health issues we are dealing with right now, one of which is her catarax that has just about blinded her so she cant drive herself anywhere. She is super needy right now and calls us to come over at least once a week. She needs us to do her taxes, pay her bills, take her grocery shopping, take her to the doctor, call insurance for her (her roof was also damaged.) Double edged sword is that she lives right down the street, so calling for "a favor" to her is no big deal. Meanwhile I work and commute full time, our days are pretty packed. Hubby and I are not sleeping well. The plus side is we are drawing together for strength in all this mess instead of fighting or having it tear us apart.
I'm super overwhelmed and sad. Life is hard right now I don't want to wait to TTC, and last month was my last chance for a 2017 baby. I just bought OPKs to start this cycle, but wondering if I should wait to hear what the doctor says. If I need surgery or drugs obviosuly it would be better to wait, but what if I need surgery and recovery and cant start TTC again for 6 months (or more.) Meanwhile, spinal stenosis gets worse with age, as do my odds of getting pregnant.
Don't mind me, I'm just throwing a pity party for one over here. Hand me the ice cream.0 -
@Kirstie155 Oh dear, I'm so sorry to hear about all that!! I love that you and your hubby are growing closer though.
I'm really sorry to hear about your back and your pain! I am not sure what I would do in your situation. On one hand, getting pregnant isn't 100% going to happen if you do TTC this month, plus the doctors could refer to you to a dietitian and physio to help you eat well without over gaining if you were pregnant to reduce the stress on your body. And you are so excited to be TTC! But on the other hand, if you do get preggers, do you want to postpone (or can you even) surgery until after baby comes, and would you want to be out of commission due to back surgery when you have a new born. What are surgery wait times like where you live? Is it typical for people to have to wait a year or two or do you get in really fast? I think if it were me... I'd probably try to see the doctor this month to ask these questions... and to straight up ask if you should be trying to get pregnant still and if there are workarounds for while you are pregnant. Any chance you can move your appointment to a sooner date? Calling for cancellations or anything like that?
I'm sorry to hear about your husband's mom too. She must be pretty scared/worried right now so it is great you guys are helping her. But I know it is such a stressful responsibility to be the person someone else relies on so heavily. I hope all three of you can get a rhythm down and work to being useful yet not stressed very soon! Or I hope she can get eye surgery soon, if she qualifies!
*hugs and hugs!*0 -
Thanks Katie. I did see the spine doctor last month and told him I was TTC and wanted to avoid drugs and xrays if at all possible. I was in my TWW at the time, and he said he understood and no worries-he is a father and understands. He was going to wait until after I had a confirmed pregnancy or MRI done, and go from there.
After my period, I got the MRI done and the results were sent to my GP, who has told me his diagnosis and advised I go back to the spine doctor. So that is where I am now, a diagnosis from the GP but waiting until after my FW to see the specialist. I dont know if he will still be so approving of TTC once he gets the MRI results
I dont want to put off TTC (Ive waited so long to start trying! we only had one month to go at it!) I dont know if surgery is needed, but I know that pregnancy will make my pain worse. I feel stuck and like there is no good answer. The "right" answer is wait to ttc, and get surgery or lose weight and go to physical therapy then ttc. But that could be months or years. I just dont think I can do that.
I have no idea what surgery wait times are for this.
MIL is scheduled for her eye surgerys this month!0 -
Oh no!, @Kirstie155 I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time! *HUGS HUGS HUGS*0
-
@Kirstie155 - So sorry to hear about everything you're going through. I'm glad your husband is being supportive. I hope it all goes well with the spinal specialist - let us know how you get on.0
-
@Kirstie155 that's so rough, so much to deal with all at once no wonder you are feeling overwhelmed! Your MIL is lucky have you, but yes it can be hard work coordinating their lives for them and being a constant support. So lovely hear you and your husband are banding together and supporting each other, must nice to have a positive experience to draw on amongst all. Just thought with your back, have you looked into non-surgical options like Physio or clinical style/rehab Pilates? My mum had very similar presentation (lumbar stenonis, prolapsed disc sciatic pain) as well as whiplash from a car accident 20 years ago- she was booked in for surgery in the months leading up but was able cancel due improvement she experienced doing Pilates 2-3x week. I know sounds really wishy-washy but it seriously saved her from surgery. Every body is different and responds uniquely, I'm not suggesting it's guaranteed to fix everything by any means, and you might be already doing this but thought it couldn't hurt share case in case you hadn't considered other avenues. Good luck whatever decided, sending lots of hugs way.0
-
Called the doctor yesterday and hoping to hear back today about whether or not we can continue ttc this month. they close for the weekend in 3 hours and I still havent heard back. Arrrg. Might call them again. If I dont hear back we may just go for it anyway!0
-
@Kirstie155 Did you ever hear back from them?0
-
Ladies, I do not really know what I can do to help a friend of mine.
I've known her since grade 3. Back in September, she told our friend group (including me) that she had a missed miscarriage. Her baby was 5 weeks when it stopped growing but she didn't find out until 12 weeks and then had to basically take inducing drugs around week 20 when her body didn't clean it out. She was very depressed/stressed about it for such a long time. Even when I announced I was pregnant about 15 weeks later, she and her husband were still very sad so it was hard for them.
Two weeks ago, she and her husband announced they were expecting again. As of today she'd be 15 weeks along. Just on Friday, she posted the announcement to Facebook. And she told me she was having a rough week since this week would have been the due date of her miscarriage. I feel like she was sad all the way up until she got pregnant again.
Yesterday I received a text from her saying that she miscarried again in the ER (at 15 weeks).
What can I do to show support and compassion and to try to help in any small way? I sort of feel like just being in the same room with her would make her sad since I'm very visibly pregnant. We'd finally been able to talk about being pregnant together and how fun it was over the last couple of weeks.0 -
Kayla, I heard back from them today, saying I should just talk w the doctor in person. Too little, too late. We tried on Friday night and were supposed to again yesterday and didnt because he was tired (trying not to be mad about this and failing--I mean, last week I told him we needed to BD EOD this week so he knew and kept putting me off all day yesterday, then at like 10:30pm he was too tired.) Arg. OPK was positive yesterday so hoping I O today and its not too late if we BD tonight. Appointment is tomorrow with the spinal doctor so hoping for good news!
Katie, I am so so sorry to hear about your friend. I cannot imagine how she feels. I have no advice to give except try and remember that she is hurting so much and she may have trouble seeing or being around you right now. I'd send her a sympathy card in the mail and call her and text her often, letting her know you are there for her as a friend but understand if it may be too painful for her to see you right now. Make sure you reach out to her though, so it doesnt feel like you are rejecting her.
Im so sorry you are dealing with your friends loss. I don't know how I would deal with a miscarriage, let alone two Big internet hugs for you both. 0 -
@VeryKatie That is so devastating. It's hard to say because everyone grieves in their own way and personally if I were going through that, I would probably want to be left alone (but that's me). Just let her know that if she needs anything that you are there for her.
@Kirstie155 Maybe the schedule is killing his libido? Some men don't handle pressure well. I hope the appointment tomorrow goes well, let us know!0 -
I saw my spinal doctor yesterday, and since he knows we are TTC he doesn't want to do any medical intervention. If we weren't TTC, he would recommend a steroid epidural in my spine, something he says they do all day long at the office with no issues. However, I have a mass on my spine (cyst, vein clump?) that makes him very nervous and he says I would need to do it in a hospital setting in case anything goes wrong, there are emergency workers and facilities there. Doesn't make me warm and fuzzy about this particular procedure. Also he says I need to talk to an OBGYN about medical interventions while TTC, he doesn't know enough about it. A (potentially dangerous for me due to the mass) epidural steroid injection could require us to delay TTC for awhile because steroids, and also there are risks with the epidural.
My diagnosis is a fractured vertebra (which is old, and I had known about but forgot) severe stenosis (narrowing of the spinal column which is common for people over the age of 50-this is likely the cause of my pain as my nerves are pinched by my spine) and arthritis. The fracture is okay and not severe. There is no cure for the stenosis, only management of pain and it will likely get worse as I age. TTC when I'm older, stenosis pain when I'm older? Which is the lesser of two evils? I could put off TTC for awhile and work on my stenosis pain but it wont heal, and will likely get worse as I age regardless, and become more painful with pregnancy regardless.
I am going today to meet with a physical therapist and see what plan of action they have.
Plan moving forward is to go for physical therapy and figure out what I can and cant do physically. Walking and standing hurt me a lot, so that kind of exercise is out. I have been advised to do swimming or pool PT, so might have to join a pool. My community has one small outdoor pool but I think it opens Memorial day and at like 10am, so really not appropriate for PT swimming. Plus it's usually full of kids playing and gets cramped.
Since we did TTC this month (and did get an extra DB in on Monday) I will wait to see if we made a baby or not, and if not-consider delaying until after I get the steroid epidural. I don't currently have an OBGYN because we got new insurance at the beginning of the year, and remember the whole zika thing and the doctor wouldn't see me? I just haven't gotten around to finding one since. Guess that just moved to the top of my list. I was seen less than a year ago and had Kaiser, so I cant just go back to the same doctor...I have to find a new one. Ughhh.
Oh, also....hubby has been complaining about a hurt wrist and finally went to get it checked out. It's fractured. He doesnt know what he did, but its been like 2 weeks!
Hope you all are having a great day!0 -
You sound completely overwhelmed @Kirstie155 - would like to give a you a big hug! Your situation is hard, but you need to focus now on what you CAN do. See a physio to discuss exercise sounds like a really positive start. If it was me, I think I would focus on pain management strategies and TTC (because presumably the steroid epidural will wear off and then you'll be facing the same decision all over again). However, only you know how much pain you are in and what you can cope with. Fingers crossed that you are pregnanct this month and the decision is taken out of your hands!0
-
@Kirstie155 your options don't sound great but like Sam said, maybe you'll be pregnant this month and you won't have to make a decision. If the epidural is just pain treatment and not a solution to the root of the problem, it sounds like getting the steroid epidural may not be worth putting off TTC. Sounds like a lousy hand to be dealt, though. FWIW I've been swimming laps lately at an indoor pool and have found it very rewarding to make progress. Fingers crossed for you regarding PT for the pain and OB/Gyn finding.
@VeryKatie that is a hard situation, and there probably isn't much you can say to provide comfort. So sad for her. I agree that her seeing you might make her feel more sad in that moment. I wish I had some sage advice for you.
I'm feeling really burnt out this week. Work busy-ness ebbs and flows but this week and last week have just been nutso, which is why I haven't been posting. I think it will calm down after next week? I've been reading updates from you guys though to kind of mellow out periodically on the work front.0 -
@Kirstie155 I'm glad you have a plan going forward. I'm also glad you still TTC this month, but I think that might be my baby fever. I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis. Sorry I took so long to reply... I actually thought I had already replied (what is going on in my head!?). I hope you can find some relief through PT! And that you like swimming.
Crazy also about your husband's wrist! How does a wrist just break without anyone knowing how or why?
Thanks everyone for the support about my friend. I do feel like I'm stuck a little for what to do... and apparently decided a few texts would do it. I wasn't sure if sending a card or gift would be too much and I didn't want to say nothing... I dunno. I'm so, so awkward in situations like that. And now it's been too long to send a gift or something I feel like. It would just be a reminder now...
My friend did decide to cancel the plans she and I had at the end of the month, which I totally understand. She stayed so sad for so long last time she had a miscarriage... I hope she is able to talk to someone this time. Otherwise it's still going to be awkward when our baby comes since it will just make her sad but I would like to show the baby off to the rest of the group at some point.0 -
@verykatie I'm so sorry about your friend, its very difficult to know how to react. One of my friends had a miscarriage a few years back during a weekend girls trip and I was the one who drove her to the hospital and sat with her. It was awful and I felt so terrible that I was the one with her and not her bf or mother. We as a group sent her flowers and a card afterward. Do the other people in your group of friends know about the miscarriage? Maybe you could all do something nice/simple like that as a group so it doesn't focus too much specifically on you?
@Kirstie155 Wow! I can't imagine going through all of that at once. I really hope you find the best path to recovery for yourself without having to put ttc off for too long.0 -
@jennamae102 that is a brilliant idea about a group gift! The do all know. I will see if anyone is up for it. Thank you!0
-
@Kirstie155 Like Katie, I thought I had already replied but apparently I did not so I must have just thought about it or told myself to come back to it and didn't. Anyway I'm sorry you're having such a rough time and lots of virtual hugs and positive thoughts sent your way! I do hope things improve for both you and your husband soon!
0 -
Its been a food filled weekend, and we have had a lot of stressful things happen as well. My work event was very successful, but my back and leg were killing me even though I had a chair and could take breaks. I broke down after and got home sobbing, telling hubby that I was way too broken to live my normal life, how in the world will I be able to carry and birth and care for a baby. My spirits have never been so low. This morning at 13DPO I got a BFN, so I have a call in to my spine doctor to schedule a steroid epidural asap. There is a 50% chance it wont help at all, and even if it does, its likely only temporary. A few weeks to a year at best.
My husband is adopted, and had a bombshell regarding that this weekend.
My mother in laws eye surgery is this Wednesday.
We are really just trying to keep our heads above water at this point in my house. Survival mode. Life is really hard right now.
Thanks for listening, friends. Thanks for your support.0 -
@Kirstie155 - you're having such a rough time but you will come out the other side. I'm so sorry for everything that's going on with you. Do you have some vacation time coming up so you can take some time for yourself? Sending lots of hugs and good wishes xxx0
-
@verykatie I just joined this group and started reading threads. It's very kind of you to want to be sensitive to your friend's grief from her miscarriage! I was pregnant at the exact same time as my sister who lives in the same neighborhood. Our due dates were 9 days apart. She delivered a healthy baby boy, and my son was discovered to be stillborn as we were prepping for a scheduled c-section. I love my sister and all 3 of her children, but I can't hold her youngest or talk about anything related to him. It's too painful. In my situation, there isn't much she can do to try to help me. Being with her just makes the pain a little more intense. That said, other friends and family members have done things that help. Flowers, fruit baskets, cards, etc are nice. Folks brought us meals and sent gift cards for restaurants for when we didn't feel like cooking. It's nice when people give me "permission" to talk about my loss by asking, "How are you REALLY doing?" Otherwise I assume most folks are too uncomfortable around me. I also really appreciate when folks remember anniversary dates. 1 in 4 pregnancies end in some sort of loss, so I hope she can find some friends who have been in her shoes who can empathize with her. This kind of grief is really lonely.
I started Pilates about 6 weeks after losing my son, and my first instructor was obviously pregnant. For some reason, she doesn't bother me as much as others--a friend and 2 SILs.
Your pregnancy and your child wil probably always remind her of the pregnancy and child she lost. Please try to be patient with her! I am sure she cares about you and your babe!0 -
@marianlyn I am so so sorry for your loss. I cannot even imagine the pain you and your partner have gone through with losing your baby. Thank you for sharing your story with us, I hope that this group is helpful for you.
Are you trying to concieve again? I don't mean to intrude, and I hope you feel welcome here.
0 -
@kirstie155 Thank you so much! It is the hardest thing we have ever faced. We are trying again! We're nervous and if/when it happens it will be the most terrifying 9 months. I've been working hard to try to get has healthy as possible before starting again. I gained 40lbs through the last pregnancy and as of today I'm only a couple pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight!
I do feel welcome! I'm not ready to be very public IRL about all this, so it's nice to have a place to share and vent!0 -
@marianlyn so sorry to hear that, I can't comprehend what you have been through but what amazing strength you must have, although I can imagine it's a bit of a sink or swim situation? Great work getting healthy, it can only be a positive. So glad you feel comfortable sharing here Wishing you all the best with TTC! 0
-
Hello everyone! Now that I am officially back to my usual routine, I'll try to join in on the spread sheet. I upped my cals around 2 weeks ago and have made some nice steady improvements in my lifts. Also, we've officially started TTC! It's still so crazy to me. This week is apparently my fertility week according to my health app (lol oh technology), so I guess we shall see how this pans out for us.
@marianlyn I can't comprehend what you have and continue to go through, but I know that you have immeasurable strength to be dealing with this. I'm so sorry for your loss. I am sending you so many positive vibes and wish the best for you and your partner!0 -
Welcome Jackie!0
-
@1fit_mamma and @Jackie0Marie Thank you! Getting healthy has felt like the only thing I can control these days, and a way to try and trust my body again to do what it's supposed to. I will take all the positive vibes/warm thoughts/prayers on offer! Fingers crossed for successful and quick TTC time!0
-
Hi Ladies, I thought I would quickly drop in and say hello and goodbye before leaving the group. I hope you are all doing well.
The plan of progressing from a Maters to a PhD got derailed by my supervisor who basically stabbed me in the back
so I am now looking for a job. This means not TTC this year at all, as I will need to find and get a job, all of which I can find at the moment as casual/contract, then eventually get a full-time permanent job, then think about TTC again in 2-3 years time? ARGH! This feels a bit sad, as I was looking forward to the whole being a parent soon kind of thing... oh well. I thought about staying around on the group, but right now it's a crappy kind of feeling to hear ladies chat about ttc and being pregnant. Good luck to you all, and thank you, you have all been so kind and lovely here xx. 0 -
I am so sorry to hear that Sarah. What a terrible.situation with your supervisor did that to you. Best if luck in searching for a new job, and I hope you can TTC again soon.1
-
So sorry to hear that Sarah, what an unfortunate turn in events. Hoping you get an amazing full-time job that you love in no time. Try not to worry too much about timeframes with TTC, you might find circumstances change and you can start trying earlier. Hope to see you back here soon xx 0
