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@verykatie I just joined this group and started reading threads. It's very kind of you to want to be sensitive to your friend's grief from her miscarriage! I was pregnant at the exact same time as my sister who lives in the same neighborhood. Our due dates were 9 days apart. She delivered a healthy baby boy, and my son was discovered to be stillborn as we were prepping for a scheduled c-section. I love my sister and all 3 of her children, but I can't hold her youngest or talk about anything related to him. It's too painful. In my situation, there isn't much she can do to try to help me. Being with her just makes the pain a little more intense. That said, other friends and family members have done things that help. Flowers, fruit baskets, cards, etc are nice. Folks brought us meals and sent gift cards for restaurants for when we didn't feel like cooking. It's nice when people give me "permission" to talk about my loss by asking, "How are you REALLY doing?" Otherwise I assume most folks are too uncomfortable around me. I also really appreciate when folks remember anniversary dates. 1 in 4 pregnancies end in some sort of loss, so I hope she can find some friends who have been in her shoes who can empathize with her. This kind of grief is really lonely.
I started Pilates about 6 weeks after losing my son, and my first instructor was obviously pregnant. For some reason, she doesn't bother me as much as others--a friend and 2 SILs.
Your pregnancy and your child wil probably always remind her of the pregnancy and child she lost. Please try to be patient with her! I am sure she cares about you and your babe!0 -
@marianlyn I am so so sorry for your loss. I cannot even imagine the pain you and your partner have gone through with losing your baby. Thank you for sharing your story with us, I hope that this group is helpful for you.
Are you trying to concieve again? I don't mean to intrude, and I hope you feel welcome here.
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@kirstie155 Thank you so much! It is the hardest thing we have ever faced. We are trying again! We're nervous and if/when it happens it will be the most terrifying 9 months. I've been working hard to try to get has healthy as possible before starting again. I gained 40lbs through the last pregnancy and as of today I'm only a couple pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight!
I do feel welcome! I'm not ready to be very public IRL about all this, so it's nice to have a place to share and vent!0 -
@marianlyn so sorry to hear that, I can't comprehend what you have been through but what amazing strength you must have, although I can imagine it's a bit of a sink or swim situation? Great work getting healthy, it can only be a positive. So glad you feel comfortable sharing here Wishing you all the best with TTC! 0
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Hello everyone! Now that I am officially back to my usual routine, I'll try to join in on the spread sheet. I upped my cals around 2 weeks ago and have made some nice steady improvements in my lifts. Also, we've officially started TTC! It's still so crazy to me. This week is apparently my fertility week according to my health app (lol oh technology), so I guess we shall see how this pans out for us.
@marianlyn I can't comprehend what you have and continue to go through, but I know that you have immeasurable strength to be dealing with this. I'm so sorry for your loss. I am sending you so many positive vibes and wish the best for you and your partner!0 -
Welcome Jackie!0
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@1fit_mamma and @Jackie0Marie Thank you! Getting healthy has felt like the only thing I can control these days, and a way to try and trust my body again to do what it's supposed to. I will take all the positive vibes/warm thoughts/prayers on offer! Fingers crossed for successful and quick TTC time!0
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Hi Ladies, I thought I would quickly drop in and say hello and goodbye before leaving the group. I hope you are all doing well.
The plan of progressing from a Maters to a PhD got derailed by my supervisor who basically stabbed me in the back
so I am now looking for a job. This means not TTC this year at all, as I will need to find and get a job, all of which I can find at the moment as casual/contract, then eventually get a full-time permanent job, then think about TTC again in 2-3 years time? ARGH! This feels a bit sad, as I was looking forward to the whole being a parent soon kind of thing... oh well. I thought about staying around on the group, but right now it's a crappy kind of feeling to hear ladies chat about ttc and being pregnant. Good luck to you all, and thank you, you have all been so kind and lovely here xx. 0 -
I am so sorry to hear that Sarah. What a terrible.situation with your supervisor did that to you. Best if luck in searching for a new job, and I hope you can TTC again soon.1
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So sorry to hear that Sarah, what an unfortunate turn in events. Hoping you get an amazing full-time job that you love in no time. Try not to worry too much about timeframes with TTC, you might find circumstances change and you can start trying earlier. Hope to see you back here soon xx 0
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After a stressful few weeks at work I'm ready to hopefully check in regularly again. I think the stress of the past month may have caused me to not ovulate? I'm at CD32 now and my resting heart rate has dropped back down to where it usually is when I don't have my period (it had jumped halfway to period level for a couple days). I am perplexed. I even took a pregnancy test last night just in case we had slipped up. Nada. That's a relief because we don't want to try until next month, but I hate feeling like something isn't working right. Maybe my period will still come.
Weight-wise I feel pretty goal-less at the moment. I don't have the drive to eat at a big deficit anymore after 5 months of doing that. I'm happy between 120-125 as far as numbers go, but I still want to lose fat and gain muscle (semi-recomp I guess). Hopefully my lofty workout goals will help me achieve that while I eat a higher number of calories than I have been for a while--not more than I burn according to my fitbit but probably right around it, so pretty much maintenance. We'll see I guess! At least I know now that I have the self-discipline to experiment, which I'd never really dug into before this last weight-loss cycle.0 -
My basement flooded last night! The whole thing is ruined, damaged furniture, belongings, all the flooring, trim...sigh. The bad luck streak continues. I just can't handle my life right now.
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As if you could have any more bad luck @Kirstie155! That is such a crappy thing to happen!! Do you have insurance? Sending you lots of hugs xx0
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How great that you are at maintenance @pezhed! It feels so far away and almost unachievable for me, so I'm always impressed when someone gets there. Enjoy eating a bit more and focusing on recomp, I'm sure it will be super satisfying to see your body change, and perfect timing before TTC.0
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Yesterday was a very tough day. 2 hours of sleep because we discovered the flooding at 1am, then called 24 hour plumbers and our insurance. They were calling all through the night. Plumer showed up at 8am and replaced both of our sump pumps and insurance doesn't over those. The water restoration people showed up around 10am and worked removing all of the flooring and baseboards as well as our belongings. They tracked tons of water thought the hall and kitchen, on our hardwood floors. Everything was sopping wet. They were finished for the day around 330pm and my husband and I finally ate for the first time yesterday around 430pm. We we're so tired and spent a lot of the day packing up our things that weren't damaged and taking them upstairs. It was emotionally and physically draining. Today is mother's day, and I'm not pregnant, didn't try this cycle and will probably have to sit out the next one too if I can get that steriod epidural for my back pain. I feel like we will never get pregnant, this stress isn't good for our sex life either.
This is getting depressing, but I just needed to type it all out. We do have insurance, but with 2 homeowners claims and 2 car claims in the past 2 months and not everything being covered, our emergency fund is just about gone. Sigh.
Happy mother's day to those of you who are pregnant! Have a beautiful day.0 -
@Kirstie155 That's awful!! I can't believe the day you had! And it's going to be more than a day of headaches. Good luck getting everything cleaned up. Tiny silver lining...hauling stuff up the stairs burns calories?0
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@Kirstie155 ACK! You're having terrible luck! I'm so sorry to hear about the flood Is there anything I can do to help? 0
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@Kirstie155 I hope things start looking up for you soon! I'm sorry things are so rough right now, we're here for you! HUGS0
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Thanks guys. Katie, you are so sweet...do some research on the best way to prevent yard drainage issues? Haha. We may need to have a french drain I stalled to help with the water. On a more positive note, my mom came over and helped me plant the irises she gave me I love gardening and my mom, so that was nice. She also brought me some homemade soup! 0
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@Kirstie155 I actually know a bit about that stuff! Checking your drainage tile to make sure it's in good working order (not broken or clogged), checking that all your window wells also have drains that drain to to tile is also good. And the grading of your property should slope at about 2% (or more) away from your house in all directions. And finally... controlling the weather that one is hard to do. Do you have an alarm installed on your sump pumps?
Aww that's so nice about your mom! Definitely good to take all the happy and beautiful things in right now.0
