Trusting the Process

brileylmt

After much internal debate and typing and deleting, I am going to share my thoughts and concerns with EM2WL. I love the thought of being able to eat enough to satisfy my hunger and also be healthy. I also like the idea of not looking like a pear on a couple of pretzel sticks. To give you and idea, I am 46 years old, weight 171, and I am 5 foot 4 inches. And I do look like a pear on stilts. My mother always called me canary legs. Majority of my weight is around my midsection.

I have been heavy most of my life and have had a belly for as long as I can remember. The only time I have been thin is during my divorce. I lost 40-45 pounds in less than 5 months. I was what I now call "skinny fat". I have since met my new hubby, got married and we have a son together. The weight came back on over the first 3 years and also due to having my son. I have spent the last 3 years trying to get thin again, the healthy way.

I lost about 20 pounds doing another diet/exercise system. I felt great until I began having an increase in headaches due to muscle strains. I finally have it under control and went back to the previous exercise system. This time it didn't work. I was exercising and lifting weights daily and eating about 1300-1400 calories. I was always starving.

Then....I decided to go back to using MFP. I found EM2WL group. The more I doubted what was said and did my own research, I realized that my problem was my thinking. I was eating too little. EM2WL is correct!!! My BMR is 1473, TDEE is 2026 and my 15% cut is 1722. I wasn't eating close to what I needed to even lay in a coma for a day. No wonder I wasn't able to loose any more weight and even gained 5 pounds back. It was so frustrating.

I now am doing my best to trust the process. I have been eating at my TDEE for a week and I feel great. I feel satisfied with what I eat each day. I even have my much desired dark chocolate in the evenings. I promised myself that I would do a specific weight lifting program that is a 3 month long program. I want to build back the muscle I lost when I wasn't able to work out for 6 months.

So here is where I start my journey. Trying to trust the process and not do a cut too early. I didn't take measurements because I didn't want to obsess over them and I weighed myself only so I could calm myself about eating more and gaining weight. I am lucky in the fact that I increased my calories to 2000 and I lost 2 pounds and then gained them back over the last week, but other than that I am the same weight. So I took a breath and said "trust the process"

jerilynconn

Glad you made a thread @beverlyriley900 !

I think you are off to a great start! Take your time moving through the process!

TerezaToledo

I'm so glad you started your thread/journal! That will definitely be a safe place for you to put your thoughts and frustrations, along with questions about this process. Also it's a place where you can share your progress and accomplishments, which you will see will start happening. Like @saranharm said, don't rush through the process, take your time. You can definitely transform your body with strength training and eat the right caloric amount. Be patient and trust the process.

Tereza
Team EM2WL

brileylmt

I was excited to get back to my workouts. It's so nice to just walk downstairs to my basement for my home gym. Only I have to clean out my son's "garage" every morning so I have room.

brileylmt

End of day one paying more attention to my eating habits. I had my usual breakfast and left overs for lunch and an apple for afternoon snack. This kept me satisfied all day. I didn't even think about stopping to grab something at a gas station. Yet when I got off work I realized I still had 1000 calories to go, half my allotted amount for the day. This is where my problem lies. I snacked the rest of the evening and it wasn't all bad choices. I find myself eating less during the work day as I get busy and time flys by. Then at the end of the day I need to get to my calorie goal and I make bad choices. Next goal,80/20 eating style that lasts more than 2 days.

jerilynconn

@beverlyriley900 love the gym and garage!

As far as food, maybe add more to what meals you are already eating. Have peanut butter with your apple, for example. Eat full fat dairy to give you extra calories without a whole lot of extra bulk.

TerezaToledo

@beverlyriley900 I love you gym and your workout buddy! I have my little garage gym as well and a toddler who kindly and patiently (not always) hangs out with me while I workout.

On the eating, I second @saranharm, just eat more of what you already eat in your regular meals. Add one ounce of the protein you are already having, one extra egg to the scramble. Stay away of fat free and diet versions of anything (unless per doctor orders or because you really like it - I like skim milk better than whole, for example). Focus on nailing those calories for now. Make this your priority before attempting another change. Eating more through out the day will keep you satisfied and you won't have that many left over calories at night. Snacking at night isn't bad at all, you shouldn't have to go to bed hungry.

Tereza
Team EM2WL

brileylmt

Thanks for the advice and encouragement. Every bit helps. When you pointed out that I needed more calories I thought 'hot damn, I get to eat!!' Now I realize that isn't as easy as I thought. I did fine for a day or two, but then old habits came back. I forget to pack enough for the day or I get full and can't eat enough. I have purchased a bag of raw almonds and that has helped. I can eat peanut butter by the spoonful so I may have to grab the small pack size and have that on hand. I have to pack my lunch and snacks to take with me. I am usually driving some where most days and eat in my car. This isn't as easy as I thought it would be in the beginning.

Breathe....trust the process..... my new mantra

brileylmt

I am able to consistently get between TDEE amount and cut amount of calories. So I'm getting better. I will continue to work towards keeping closer to my TDEE amount. Having almonds with me and trying to increase protein helps. I am also upping my weights during my workouts by 2 1/2 pounds each week. I still can get to 12 reps without having to quit. I'm up to lifting 10 pounds with upper and 15 with lower exercises. Before I stopped I was using 17 1/2 pounds with uppers and 25 with lowers. I have a bit to go.

empressichel

Love that you made a thread.
Excellent on the increases with the weights. You are making great progress!
Yeah, I get the struggle with the food. To start it's like, yeah! I get to eat more! and then it's like, wait, this eating more is quite hard!
Definitley takes a bit of pre planning. I found the 'saving' calories for the end of the day was part of the old diet mentality process at work. Once I started eating more snacks throughout the day and like the other ladies have suggested, just adding more calorie dense foods like nut butters, whole milk, avocado etc. it became easier to get consistently to TDEE.
Look forward to continuing to read your thread!
Ichel
EM2WL Ambassador and Moderator

misskitty0816

I am following this post, @beverlyriley900 and might create my own progress post, as I have the same issue of 'trusting the process'..................you have inspired me! )))

brileylmt

I'll look for your thread. Supporting each other does help!! Thank you for the compliment, I was inspired by @saranham. As well as others. Together we can do this

brileylmt

Last night Hubby and I went out to dinner and a bar with friends that are in town from Louisiana. I was concerned about what I was going to eat. I was some what concerned about calorie amounts but I figure we would be slightly over but not bad. I made decent choices, steak, mashed potato and grilled cauliflower. I think the mojito was probably the highest in calorie. I ended up being 219 calories over. I normally would be irritated about that. Not to mention that had I been counting my intake the same as I was a month ago, I would have been about 800 calories over my amount. Today I thought back and decided I enjoyed my evening and today I would make good choices and go on with my journey. I did my workout and even increased my weights and moved furniture around to vacuum my upstairs and laundry is almost done. So I don't feel too bad. I had a good time and decided to not beat myself up over the calorie overage.

My problems comes from wanting to do a calorie cut, Monday will be 2 weeks of TDEE intake amount. I am embarrassed about my belly and want to loose it. I keep thinking that I'm doing great on getting close to my maintenance calorie and so I should be ready to do a cut. I then think about how easy it would be to loose weight while I work on increasing my weight lifting. Then I have to remind myself that I have to trust the process and wait. I need to have a higher calorie amount to increase muscle mass. I can't increase muscle mass by lowering my calorie intake. Here is my problem. I want to rush the process. I love that I am not gaining weight on 2000 intake, but really, really, really want the belly gone!! grrrrr.

jerilynconn

I totally understand. It is so hard to wait! This is where we have to put our mind out of it. Ride out the reset and then consider cutting.

TerezaToledo

Don't we all want answers and results yesterday?! But, that is not how it goes. Your feelings are perfectly normal. Good thing you are trusting the process and letting it take it's course.

Good job in having a good time with your hubby yesterday. I love you mentality shift, what a huge NSV being able to move on and not quitting everything for 200 calories. That's the way to do it!

Tereza
Team EM2WL

dejavuohlala

This is a great post. The more I read the more I get it. I think!!

dejavuohlala

beverlyriley900 wrote: »

Last night Hubby and I went out to dinner and a bar with friends that are in town from Louisiana. I was concerned about what I was going to eat. I was some what concerned about calorie amounts but I figure we would be slightly over but not bad. I made decent choices, steak, mashed potato and grilled cauliflower. I think the mojito was probably the highest in calorie. I ended up being 219 calories over. I normally would be irritated about that. Not to mention that had I been counting my intake the same as I was a month ago, I would have been about 800 calories over my amount. Today I thought back and decided I enjoyed my evening and today I would make good choices and go on with my journey. I did my workout and even increased my weights and moved furniture around to vacuum my upstairs and laundry is almost done. So I don't feel too bad. I had a good time and decided to not beat myself up over the calorie overage.

My problems comes from wanting to do a calorie cut, Monday will be 2 weeks of TDEE intake amount. I am embarrassed about my belly and want to loose it. I keep thinking that I'm doing great on getting close to my maintenance calorie and so I should be ready to do a cut. I then think about how easy it would be to loose weight while I work on increasing my weight lifting. Then I have to remind myself that I have to trust the process and wait. I need to have a higher calorie amount to increase muscle mass. I can't increase muscle mass by lowering my calorie intake. Here is my problem. I want to rush the process. I love that I am not gaining weight on 2000 intake, but really, really, really want the belly gone!! grrrrr.

Beverley when you first started by adding 50 calories a week, did you add this to the calories you were eating, not including any excercise calories ? I.E Iwas having 1200 calories a day, not eating back any calories earnt from excercise and I'm trying to now have 1250 per week, is that right ?? Ignoring any calories from excercise thanks Carol
Ps did you find it very confusing ??

brileylmt

I found it very confusing, I still get confused. I have been in this group for about 2weeks. I have some threads marked so I follow them anytime someone adds to them. I also go back and re read other posts. The people in this are very helpful and supportive.

As I understand, I eat my maintenance amount of calories and do not add back the exercise calories. My maintenance is 2026, that is what my goal is daily. I ignore the burned calories. That is how EM2WL calculator figures what you need. The MFP app figures the calorie needs differently. That's why the app automatically adds the burned calories back, particularly if you are connected to a activity tracker or key in your activity.

dejavuohlala

beverlyriley900 wrote: »

I found it very confusing, I still get confused. I have been in this group for about 2weeks. I have some threads marked so I follow them anytime someone adds to them. I also go back and re read other posts. The people in this are very helpful and supportive.

As I understand, I eat my maintenance amount of calories and do not add back the exercise calories. My maintenance is 2026, that is what my goal is daily. I ignore the burned calories. That is how EM2WL calculator figures what you need. The MFP app figures the calorie needs differently. That's why the app automatically adds the burned calories back, particularly if you are connected to a activity tracker or key in your activity.

Thank you Beverly. Not sure if what I am
Doing is correct or not, my calories us what MFP says I should have and I am adding 50 calories per week approx. Perhaps I'm too old for a complicated process !!!!! Lol thank you for your friend request carol

empressichel

I love that you enjoyed your night out and just moved on the next day. Do you know how HUGE a breakthrough that is in thinking after just 2 weeks?
Seriously! This is what this lifestyle is about. Enjoying time and food with friends and family. Then next day, focus on your macros again, and those days end up having no effect on our long term results because because it is just part of life!
I know it is tough when we want to see results quickly, but you will be so glad you were patient and took your time in this process in the future. There is a lot of healing to do not just physically but mentally too. You are off to a tremendous start.
What you are experiencing is completely normal, don't worry!
http://eatmore2weighless.com/upping-cals-what-to-expect/
Ichel
EM2WL Ambassador and Moderator

brileylmt

@dejavuohlala you may want to took back at the posts under getting started with EM2WL. They post s calculator to figure out what calorie amounts you need. They also have ebook you can purchase. I just got mine and it explained things in easy to understand language.

brileylmt

I have not taken measurements since starting with MFP. I don't want to obsess over the numbers, same with the scale. I stopped checking that after a week of maintaining. I can tell that the weight lifting is helping. I feel stronger and hubby says he can see and feel the muscle change. I am no longer scrounging for food because I'm constantly hungry. As far as the weight lifting progress, I need to hook my bra tighter and I have more room in the seat of my pants. So I would say this is progress. I have my measurements from when I first started my journey and from when I plateaued. One of these days I'll get them out if I get enough courage. I am not up to the amount of weight I was lifting before I had to stop but I am close. I will be doing my best to complete this program and eating at my maintenance level so I can build muscle mass. This would make me ready to cut right after Thanksgiving, hmmm I think that will be perfect.
I am trying to trust the process, perhaps if I write it enough times I'll start to believe it more????
breathe....trust.....breathe

Wiccandothis

Hi! Thanks for the add! I love your thread! The title says it all...trust the process. I think we have a lot of the same issues. I am a little iffy about upping my calories, but I know in the long run it will be better for me. I also do the same as you. Sometimes I don't eat enough early in the day or I save my calories for later, but then end up having too many towards the end of the day and I make bad choices just to fill those calories. Like today, I had quite a few calories left over after dinner and burned a lot of extra calories through exercise and my first thought was "Yay! I get to have a nice treat!" and I did...a delicious brownie with milk. I tend to fill excess calories with junk and really need to stop.

empressichel

@beverlyriley900
You know how much awesome there is in your post!?
Victory after victory you are writing about!
Don't make these milestones seem smaller than they are. They.are.everything.
Husband seeing and feeling muscle?
This is great!
Would it be ok if I share your super positive and inspiring post with others in the fam?
Trust me. You are nailing this!
Ichel
EM2WL ambassador and moderator

brileylmt

@empressichel you can share any of my posts that you would like to. I'm an open book. I know how hard this is for me, so if I can help someone else, I'm all for it. I think that we can all learn from others to help us along our journey. Thank you for the encouragement.

tj0861

Beverly, I'm into my 3rd month of the process .... and you're right, TRUST is the key. Keep it up, lady!!

empressichel

@beverlyriley900
That's great, thank you!
It really helps others so much to know that we don't go through these struggles alone.
I'm sure your post will motivate and help lots of people.
Ichel

brileylmt

I finally feel as if I am working out at the right weight for my arms. I can make it to the 12 reps but I feel it after. Going to keep there for a bit. I will add for my legs tomorrow as I don't feel as if I am working hard enough. I have seen how lifting enough has made a difference with calorie burn. I have been able to burn over 500 calories in a day on the days that I lift. I have come close on the cardio days. My issue has always been food. I have been consistent with the calorie intake. I need to work on increasing protein and healthy it up. I have been at the same weight for about 5 months. I think I was eating more that I realized before due to not keeping track as well before MFP. I really want to decrease calorie intake but my protein is not where I want it. I will work on that by getting out my list of protein choices and meal plan from that.

brileylmt

Quick question. How often can I work my abs? I do a routine 2-3x a week. But would like to do it daily.

TerezaToledo

@beverlyriley900 2 to 3x a weeks seems optimal, 20 minutes at a time, with a rest day in between. Just as any other muscles, they need rest to develop. And as much as we want them tight and toned, those are muscles we don't want to grow as much, lol. You could do a short cardio workout in between lifting days, 30 minutes.

Tereza
Team EM2WL

brileylmt

Thanks. I have been doing 40 min cardio/abs between lifting days. I am just wanting abs to be coming along as well as arms and legs. Hate the muffin top