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holidays: pressure to eat

secret_despair30secret_despair30 Posts: 57Member Member Posts: 57Member Member
im not trying to sound ignorant and uninformed, but im really confused about something,...what do you all suggest, like when u have to have to go to a big family meal with dessert, and its not even on a splurge day? i am usually good with portion control, but they always have the dessert apart from the meal and its always something I cant resist! if I tell them im on a diet they will say something like "u don't need to lose weight, here u need to have some cake!" they aren't even my family because I no longer live near my family because of an abusive situation (which is an entirely different story), so I spend the holidays with my boyfriend's family, but they are really pushy.
ive always failed on OMAD before because I never really knew what to do about staying in control around this time, so I gave up and it never lasted more than a few months and I began packing on the weight again due to guilt and shame and I just missed food too much. food to me has always been a crutch. plus I was in a bad position to be doing it considering my parents always knew I had an eating problem, and would scold me for it, so I was weak! but because im serious about staying on track this time, it will be ESPECIALLYYYYYY hard!!!!!!!!!
edited November 2016
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Replies

  • AmeliaOMADAmeliaOMAD Posts: 93Member Member Posts: 93Member Member
    Hmm. There are a few options. Lately I've realized when you give people a short but firm answer, they kind of of just give up. Remember, you have to be able to say no to others before you can say no to yourself.
    "C'mon secret_despair30, you don't need to lose weight, it's unhealthy not to enjoy life. I made it just for you etc."
    "No, ha ha really, it looks delicious but no. Thank a lot anyway. You enjoy yours for me."
    Generally when people receive a firm and final no, they tend to just forget it. Their attention span isn't too long anyway, they will forget about you and go back to thinking about something else concerning themselves.
    When you answer, don't hum and ha.... In fact, there's a good video on vocal tonality and getting people to take you seriously through this. It's called using a neutral or rapport breaking tone. Here's a link:

    Or, you could lie. Say you've been really ill, hint at something digestive that will be guaranteed to gross them out and have them not asking anymore questions, and that there's a whole bunch of foods to be avoided. Offer to "tell them all about" the issue if they like... they'll stop asking real quick.
    I'm not in favor of the whole lying thing, but it's a good old trick of my sisters and certainly gets people off your back.
  • DebSozoDebSozo Posts: 2,592Member Member Posts: 2,592Member Member
    Just tell them that you are so full from the wonderful dinner that you don't have any room for more. Or you could cut it down to a sliver or tiny bite to taste. That way it's only maybe 100 or 200 calories and not 500.
  • OMADing1OMADing1 Posts: 337Member Member Posts: 337Member Member
    im not trying to sound ignorant and uninformed, but im really confused about something,...what do you all suggest, like when u have to have to go to a big family meal with dessert, and its not even on a splurge day? i am usually good with portion control, but they always have the dessert apart from the meal and its always something I cant resist! if I tell them im on a diet they will say something like "u don't need to lose weight, here u need to have some cake!" they aren't even my family because I no longer live near my family because of an abusive situation (which is an entirely different story), so I spend the holidays with my boyfriend's family, but they are really pushy.
    ive always failed on OMAD before because I never really knew what to do about staying in control around this time, so I gave up and it never lasted more than a few months and I began packing on the weight again due to guilt and shame and I just missed food too much. food to me has always been a crutch. plus I was in a bad position to be doing it considering my parents always knew I had an eating problem, and would scold me for it, so I was weak! but because im serious about staying on track this time, it will be ESPECIALLYYYYYY hard!!!!!!!!!


    Ya know, I'm thinking about it this way...one day of holiday eating of what you want to isn't what got most of us overweight, obese, morbidly obese or with disordered eating, period. Instead of "freaking out" or allowing that dastardly spirit of "fear" have it's way in and thru us for "Thanksgiving" and OMAD and life in general, just look at Thanksgiving dinner for what it really is. A contrived day of greed and gluttony and the false guilting of enjoying a commanded day of getting together with family to eat, drink and be merry disguised as a day we're having a family get together, a time to get to hang out with folk that convenient and a time to be thankful. It truly isn't about that AT ALL--that's what we've all been trained/programmed to think and believe and DO. It's truly a day our society deems and commands all to go out, spend money and buy certain foods get together with family (no matter if we truly want to spend the money and time or not--we are programmed to MUST do go along with this "tradition", because that's what everyone does and if you don't...well, buy/eat certain things, spend the money and take time to prepare all this stuff, watch football and etc. and if one purposely chooses to say NO to the whole process and NOT go along with what everyone else is doing, this will cause people to think of you thusly:

    A.) she's crazy, she's mean, she's selfish.
    B.) she's rebellious/she's always been or now is the black sheep of the family.
    C.) Wow...she's so COOL...I wish I had the guts and wisdom to not go along with what this crazy world does and calls good and right.

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    I have a friend who is going out of the country, just to avoid having "Thanksgiving" with her family. She's going to spend big money, just to be away--to an entirely different country, instead of saying "Thanks but no thank you, I'll have a get together with family & friends, and be thankful EVERYDAY and have a get together, when I want to...not when society dictates I must, period. Why won't people do this? Because of what "they" will think. Because of pride, because of fear and all kinds of yuck. Most people won't do this, live this way, the same reasons why people consider OMAD/fasting something to avoid as well. Because "they" say so, that's why.


    We've been trained/programmed all of our lives to indulge in and be a part of holidays/traditions, deceive ourselves into believing it's "fun" when the truth of the matter is it's ALL about business/making BIG money/profits off of the masses that know that for either fear of being "different" or being disliked go along with getting into debt, hanging out with folk (even if they're our relatives) that we don't like and who don't like us, just because of tradition/holidays and again, because "everyone does it--so it must be good/right" Mass marketing KNOWS the greater majority will fall for it again and again, hook, line and sinker. It kinda reminds of me that old movie, Fiddler on The Roof, when the guy sings that song, "Traditions"

    Now, this OMAD life is ALL about doing and living completely opposed to what "everybody and the "expert" say is right. This OMAD life is ALL about going against the grain of what science and "they" say is the what, when, how we can successfully lose weight and keep it off. The reason you and me and anyone hasn't been successful doing OMAD is because we haven't "hit rock bottom" so to speak. We haven't made a "come hell or high water" or as Joe says, "if it's not Heck YEAH, it's NO" commitment to the lifestyle of OMAD, period. That's why you, me and who so ever will fail at OMAD and everything else in life.
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  • arguablysamsonarguablysamson Posts: 1,597Member Member Posts: 1,597Member Member
    It's easier for me than it is for some, but what helps is the inner-knowledge that while everybody else is stuffing themselves and creating angst that will come out in expressions of those sappy new years resolutions, I won't bee among their numbers.

    It's somehow nice to know that while everybody else is "losing it," I'm "keeping it," so to speak. I can watch people stuff themselves or get wasted or sit there and say "I shouldn't" while worrying about having cake, but I know I'm not them. It somehow seems more special to me to be the one staying in on Friday than the one going out. It's nicer to me knowing that I'm taking the road less traveled rather than the one every clown and their brother is fighting to get on.

    I guess what I'm saying, take some pride in the fact that you have a system whereby your eating won't fall apart during the holidays or celebrations. It's soooo nice not being like everyone else who can't manage themselves.
    edited November 2016
  • DebSozoDebSozo Posts: 2,592Member Member Posts: 2,592Member Member
    It's easier for me than it is for some, but what helps is the inner-knowledge that while everybody else is stuffing themselves and creating angst that will come out in expressions of those sappy new years resolutions, I won't be among their numbers.

    It's somehow nice to know that while everybody else is "losing it," I'm "keeping it," so to speak. I can watch people stuff themselves or get wasted or sit there and say "I shouldn't" while worrying about having cake, but I know I'm not them.
    It somehow seems more special to me to be the one staying in on Friday than the one going out. It's nicer to me knowing that I'm taking the road less traveled rather than the one every clown and their brother is fighting to get on.

    I guess what I'm saying,take some pride in the fact that you have a system whereby your eating won't fall apart during the holidays or celebrations. It's soooo nice not being like everyone else who can't manage themselves.

    Joe-- perfect timing. I've been mentally preparing myself ahead of time for Thanksgiving with family. Like OMADing1 and you both are saying, our society has brainwashed us into thinking we have to go along with the heavy feasting meanwhile giving "thanks" for our plenty and celebrate our excess.

    I think that the holidays will be easier to go through this year. I'm going to do the "one plate" portion method, eat very slowly, put down my fork between bites, slowly sip my beverage (limiting it to one), enjoy conversation, and drink water after that. I'm not going to get caught up in all the high calorie eating. The eating time will be over and while everyone is holding their swollen bellies and complaining about eating too much, my tummy will be feeling "just right".
  • OMADing1OMADing1 Posts: 337Member Member Posts: 337Member Member
    :* >:) :#



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    Black Friday Fight Compilation 2015

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    edited November 2016
  • arguablysamsonarguablysamson Posts: 1,597Member Member Posts: 1,597Member Member
    That video...not being apart of the sheeple in action that is Black Friday...it SO makes me feel happy and like I'm truly special!!!
  • OMADing1OMADing1 Posts: 337Member Member Posts: 337Member Member
    That video...not being apart of the sheeple in action that is Black Friday...it SO makes me feel happy and like I'm truly special!!!

    o:)

    Truly makes me think of living this OMAD/fasting life&lifestyle--PURPOSELY living, thinking and behaving totally and completely contrary/opposite and different than the "norm" and purposely not going along with, not following, not embracing nor engaging in "status quo", period.
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  • secret_despair30secret_despair30 Posts: 57Member Member Posts: 57Member Member
    sorry I haven't replied yet, just saw your replies today. thanks for the tips, btw. and having seen that and countless other videos like it makes me sad to be human. I mean people stuff their faces to celebrate the fact that they are gluttonous and greedy by eating more food and buying more stuff (consumerism), its MADNESS! as a sensitive and very spiritual being, I cry alot and get extremely depressed and scared everytime this time comes around....to see our planet falling apart because of these big corporations, encouraging that type of behavior. I have a love/hate relationship with shopping. like I love a good deal, (im female and I love to craft, what more can i say?) but if hundreds of others are fighting their way through the door and yelling and screaming at eachother, forget it! an item is not worth the grief and suffering! I cant stand to be around that kind of energy, its not worth it! this week I have been too scared to go into a grocery store because of the crowds, but youll most likely find me at the mall or in a craft store when the crowds are less crazy!
    anyway, these were all good ideas and tricks I will definitely think about. I may even go the "we have to leave early" route. ill just have to be sure to put on my emotional "armor" and meditate before hitting any stores though. and im staying the hell away from walmart, lol! no offense meant for anyone that works there though, because I have a friend who works for walmart and my heart aches for him everytime he talks about how he is mistreated! these corporations need to understand that these people have lives and families too! its so sad!! :'((
  • DebSozoDebSozo Posts: 2,592Member Member Posts: 2,592Member Member
    I heard on a talk radio show the other day that the companies don't put their best and newest things on sale on Black Friday. They use the day to clear out old merchandise.
  • OMADing1OMADing1 Posts: 337Member Member Posts: 337Member Member
    sorry I haven't replied yet, just saw your replies today. thanks for the tips, btw. and having seen that and countless other videos like it makes me sad to be human. I mean people stuff their faces to celebrate the fact that they are gluttonous and greedy by eating more food and buying more stuff (consumerism), its MADNESS! as a sensitive and very spiritual being, I cry alot and get extremely depressed and scared everytime this time comes around....to see our planet falling apart because of these big corporations, encouraging that type of behavior. I have a love/hate relationship with shopping. like I love a good deal, (im female and I love to craft, what more can i say?) but if hundreds of others are fighting their way through the door and yelling and screaming at eachother, forget it! an item is not worth the grief and suffering! I cant stand to be around that kind of energy, its not worth it! this week I have been too scared to go into a grocery store because of the crowds, but youll most likely find me at the mall or in a craft store when the crowds are less crazy!
    anyway, these were all good ideas and tricks I will definitely think about. I may even go the "we have to leave early" route. ill just have to be sure to put on my emotional "armor" and meditate before hitting any stores though. and im staying the hell away from walmart, lol! no offense meant for anyone that works there though, because I have a friend who works for walmart and my heart aches for him everytime he talks about how he is mistreated! these corporations need to understand that these people have lives and families too! its so sad!! :'((

    {{{{ <3 HUGS <3 }}}}} Ya know, at anytime you choose, you can take what you see and know and instead of being sad about the state of affairs, you can be FILLED with real joy, real thankfulness and real gladness that your eyes are opened to the truth about these issues and you can see stuff for what it is--that's a HUGE MEGA blessing! Something to truly be filled with outrageous gratitude, utter joy and humble thankfulness for real and for sure! We can look at it this way, instead of being sad, afraid or giving a mili-second to a "spirit" of depression (and purposefully NOT giving place to spirits of fear, sadness, anger or any of that MESS), you can CHOOSE to see it/look at it as you're NOT going for the "okey-doke--the ole one-two" NOR are not putting all of your emotional, spiritual, financial eggs in this world's basket, period. Knowing it's a losing proposition and it's not going to change for the better (no matter how many politicians and commercials promise or give you the bogus hope that it will). You can grab this truth by the hand, agree with it and deal with it accordingly and with real live JOY to boot! Since you're a spiritual person, you can CHOOSE to focus ALL your time, faith, hope, trust and spirit in God's Hand, instead of the world's mess.

    As far as the people caught up in these systems of the world and it's ways and it's delights--well, like my daddy used to tell me all the time when I was a child "there go I, but by the Grace of God. It's only a miracle that I'm not/no longer "caught-up" in these things. Thinking this way helps me not give a split second to sadness, depression or any of that mess, but instead, again gives me joy unspeakable that I "once was blind, but now I see"--that makes me sooooooooooooooooo GLAD. PLUS, a day or two or so AFTER these holidays, all of the foods and junk is usually 60-80% (or more :o ) off (which is shocking and insulting to the intelligence, but anyhoo)....so I can partake in the stuff I don't go along with AFTERWARDS if I so choose, and the option of real choice, just makes me filled with all the more joy!

    Isn't it amazing that the "holidays" are usually the most saddest, mentally & financially disturbing, and contentious times of the year, where most people get into depression and worse--that's NOT a mere coincidence. Nah--as for me and mine, we just say NO thanks...but thank ya kindly anyway o:) Is this type of life/lifestyle lonely? Yes and No...take a gander at that video again and see who the real lonely people are. Being a follower of the masses, in my experience ALWAYS winds up being of the most lonely and pathetic of all times. It's also amazing how explaining to people these things, how the greater majority of them "get it" and come out of such foolishness savings themselves so much time, money and woe...AMAZING. Lastly, to each is own...it took me years to "see" the truth about stuff--so it's easier to be humble. soberminded and understanding that when EVERYONE is trained/programmed from birth to death to believe something...one doesn't "wake-up" immediately (some do, some don't...some will, some won't) and that's where I can think and be filled with mercy, grace, truth and not judging others, but judging myself (and acting/thinking/behaving) comes into play--BIGTIME!!!

    OMAD/fasting and living this OMAD life, will absolutely help you in the area of prayer and meditating on God and His Way, His Truth and His Life. I know it SUPER has for me, in ways I've NEVER experienced in my entire long life!

    edited November 2016
  • secret_despair30secret_despair30 Posts: 57Member Member Posts: 57Member Member
    OMADing1 wrote: »

    Since you're a spiritual person, you can CHOOSE to focus ALL your time, faith, hope, trust and spirit in God's Hand, instead of the world's mess.


    OMAD/fasting and living this OMAD life, will absolutely help you in the area of prayer and meditating on God and His Way, His Truth and His Life. I know it SUPER has for me, in ways I've NEVER experienced in my entire long life!

    I hope u don't take this the wrong way, but I am not christian and I do not believe in their god, but I was trying to make a point using spirituality in GENERAL as an example of how I try to cope and get through life's hardships. depression is a natural way of coping with it all, and is not bad by any means! sometimes we need to separate ourselves from a situation to recharge. like when u have too many electrical currents going all at once, eventually it will be too much and u will blow a fuse. so sometimes unplugging some of that energy and "shutting down" is for the best. I hope u can understand this. we are all divine by nature and have the power to make things happen by will of the mind, because we are all energy and we have the power to change and manipulate that energy. losing weight using means of anything that rejects society's idea of how we should do it is no exception. and yes I am thankful for what I DO have, but I never thank any outside beings other than the bounty of nature herself, which gives us food, air and life! I too, seek to live by the "eat to live, not live to eat" philosophy. something I have not learned about before until I became spiritual.
  • OMADing1OMADing1 Posts: 337Member Member Posts: 337Member Member
    OMADing1 wrote: »

    Since you're a spiritual person, you can CHOOSE to focus ALL your time, faith, hope, trust and spirit in God's Hand, instead of the world's mess.


    OMAD/fasting and living this OMAD life, will absolutely help you in the area of prayer and meditating on God and His Way, His Truth and His Life. I know it SUPER has for me, in ways I've NEVER experienced in my entire long life!

    I hope u don't take this the wrong way, but I am not christian and I do not believe in their god, but I was trying to make a point using spirituality in GENERAL as an example of how I try to cope and get through life's hardships. depression is a natural way of coping with it all, and is not bad by any means! sometimes we need to separate ourselves from a situation to recharge. like when u have too many electrical currents going all at once, eventually it will be too much and u will blow a fuse. so sometimes unplugging some of that energy and "shutting down" is for the best. I hope u can understand this. we are all divine by nature and have the power to make things happen by will of the mind, because we are all energy and we have the power to change and manipulate that energy. losing weight using means of anything that rejects society's idea of how we should do it is no exception. and yes I am thankful for what I DO have, but I never thank any outside beings other than the bounty of nature herself, which gives us food, air and life! I too, seek to live by the "eat to live, not live to eat" philosophy. something I have not learned about before until I became spiritual.


    {{{{ <3 secret_despair <3 }}}}}}}
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  • blambo61blambo61 Posts: 4,372Member Member Posts: 4,372Member Member
    I think that we need to look at the consequences if we splurge on a holiday or not and what that does to us. First I don't think "feasting" on a holiday is greedy by any means, it may be a little bit gluttonous but I think a one day feast is far from being really gluttonous. I look at it as a celebration. If it was an everyday thing or often, then it certainly would be gluttonous.

    I view any diet as having to be sustainable or it isn't going to work in the long-run. OMAD is the most sustainable way I know to control overeating. I eat tell full each night which for me is mentally important. Fortunately, I've been able to lose weight doing that.

    If I were to skip a celebration feast, that would bum me out and maybe make me not want to continue the diet. That is something to consider also. I need my once a week or so splurge days and also special occasion celebrations to break up the monotony of it or I would have a hard time staying with it for a long time.

    We didn't get fat in a day and we are not going to lose it in a day. A one-day celebration will be all gone and out of the system with 3-days of OMAD following that (that is how it has worked for me anyways). Just my personal opinion.
  • DebSozoDebSozo Posts: 2,592Member Member Posts: 2,592Member Member
    You are very practical, Bob. Thanks for helping keep the scales balanced in more ways than one.
    :)
  • DebSozoDebSozo Posts: 2,592Member Member Posts: 2,592Member Member
    blambo61 wrote: »
    I think that we need to look at the consequences if we splurge on a holiday or not and what that does to us. First I don't think "feasting" on a holiday is greedy by any means, it may be a little bit gluttonous but I think a one day feast is far from being really gluttonous. I look at it as a celebration. If it was an everyday thing or often, then it certainly would be gluttonous.

    I view any diet as having to be sustainable or it isn't going to work in the long-run. OMAD is the most sustainable way I know to control overeating. I eat tell full each night which for me is mentally important. Fortunately, I've been able to lose weight doing that.

    If I were to skip a celebration feast, that would bum me out and maybe make me not want to continue the diet. That is something to consider also. I need my once a week or so splurge days and also special occasion celebrations to break up the monotony of it or I would have a hard time staying with it for a long time.

    We didn't get fat in a day and we are not going to lose it in a day. A one-day celebration will be all gone and out of the system with 3-days of OMAD following that (that is how it has worked for me anyways). Just my personal opinion.

    The lifestyle changes and long term sustainability are important. Weight loss management needs to be something that can be done forever. I want to lose weight and keep it off.
  • SavedByGrace26356SavedByGrace26356 Posts: 544Member Member Posts: 544Member Member
    I enjoy celebrating a holiday or a special time with family and friends and it usually involves food. I did focus on what to eat and how much to eat but now that thought process is changing. I'm beginning to focus more on family and friends and not on food.

    As Joe posted today on my thread, 'Getting together with family is great, but something comes over me that makes me less food-focused. It's like my mind doesn't tie in with everyone else's.' He said it took four or five months doing OMAD to get to that point.

    I remember losing 45 pounds many, many, years ago after having a baby. While dieting I was invited to different events where food was involved. I watched as people shoved massive amounts of food in their mouth and it kind of made me sick. That is what kept me on my diet. When Joe explained how his thought process works at family holiday events, it reminded me of my experience. I see what he's talking about and can see where I'm getting closer to that mind set.
    edited November 2016
  • kabrigailkabrigail Posts: 149Member Member Posts: 149Member Member
    blambo61 wrote: »
    I think that we need to look at the consequences if we splurge on a holiday or not and what that does to us. First I don't think "feasting" on a holiday is greedy by any means, it may be a little bit gluttonous but I think a one day feast is far from being really gluttonous. I look at it as a celebration. If it was an everyday thing or often, then it certainly would be gluttonous.

    I view any diet as having to be sustainable or it isn't going to work in the long-run. OMAD is the most sustainable way I know to control overeating. I eat tell full each night which for me is mentally important. Fortunately, I've been able to lose weight doing that.

    If I were to skip a celebration feast, that would bum me out and maybe make me not want to continue the diet. That is something to consider also. I need my once a week or so splurge days and also special occasion celebrations to break up the monotony of it or I would have a hard time staying with it for a long time.

    We didn't get fat in a day and we are not going to lose it in a day. A one-day celebration will be all gone and out of the system with 3-days of OMAD following that (that is how it has worked for me anyways). Just my personal opinion.

    Bob, I see it the same way. I try to have a cheat day here and there. I notice I really need it to keep me sane and I will plateau without it. I used Thanksgiving as my cheat and I really enjoyed it and I'm back on track and I didn't gain any weight so I think it was a success!
    edited November 2016
  • blambo61blambo61 Posts: 4,372Member Member Posts: 4,372Member Member
    If you don't need a cheat day don't take it, but it might be good for some once in awhile. Also for the special occasions, if you don't want to, you don't have to but I plan on participating for the big holidays! I've got a lunch retirement party I need to go to tomorrow. I will order the salad only.
  • DebSozoDebSozo Posts: 2,592Member Member Posts: 2,592Member Member
    I enjoy celebrating a holiday or a special time with family and friends and it usually involves food. I did focus on what to eat and how much to eat but now that thought process is changing. I'm beginning to focus more on family and friends and not on food.

    As Joe posted today on my thread, 'Getting together with family is great, but something comes over me that makes me less food-focused. It's like my mind doesn't tie in with everyone else's.' He said it took four or five months doing OMAD to get to that point.

    I remember losing 45 pounds many, many, years ago after having a baby. While dieting I was invited to different events where food was involved. I watched as people shoved massive amounts of food in their mouth and it kind of made me sick. That is what kept me on my diet. When Joe explained how his thought process works at family holiday events, it reminded me of my experience. I see what he's talking about and can see where I'm getting closer to that mind set.

    When you see people "overfeed" themselves it is rather sickening. I can't stand that overstuffed feeling after a Thanksgiving dinner or family Christmas dinner.

    I need some more tips and coping skills.
    edited November 2016
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