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Yael452's Accountability Journal

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  • Yael452Yael452 Posts: 82Member Member Posts: 82Member Member
    wsandy8512 wrote: »
    Yay, the 1850 calories didn't harm you. Best on today's bday challenge. Hopefully you'll get a break from these challenges soon. :)

    Thank you!
    Just returned from lunch - I didn't "give in". I just had some Coke Zero, and nobody bothered me about it! My brother's fiance is very fussy about food, and she usually forgoes food at restaurants, so that made my abstinence a lot less noticeable because I wasn't the only one.

    One thing that did kind of dampen my day was that my mom took a couple rather unflattering photos, and then posted them on Facebook... I unfortunately still struggle with self-esteem and confidence issues, and something like that can really knock me down psychologically. I wish it didn't sound so dramatic, but it really does take me a few days to recover from the disappointment I experience when I see what I currently look like in photographs. Ignorance is bliss, as they say.
    I'm trying to use it as a motivating tool though. It's one of those things that makes you wish that you could just *snap* your fingers and the weight would be gone overnight.
  • wsandy8512wsandy8512 Posts: 1,897Member Member Posts: 1,897Member Member
    Good on you for not caving today. I can relate to how you feel about family taking pictures you'd rather not have put on FB. I'm the same way, possibly worse because I make it point to say I don't want it done. Then my mom will post anyway because she thinks I'm being picky and that I'm "beautiful" and too hard on myself. I hate that it's out of my control. I prefer to post ones I approve of or at angles I deem somewhat flattering of my face! There are no flattering angles of my obese body, believe me. Lol
  • amflautistamflautist Posts: 998Member, Premium Member Posts: 998Member, Premium Member
    @yael452 I know exactly what you mean. Some horrid pictures of me 50# ago are floating around, and I wish they would disappear. Keep working on it! I started in 2011 and am still in the processing phase. But know this: we, your friends here at OMAD have been there, or are there, and we admire your commitment, and relish your successes!!!

    And I especially appreciate and admire your ability to go to lunch at a restaurant and not eat the food! Great work.
  • Yael452Yael452 Posts: 82Member Member Posts: 82Member Member
    wsandy8512 wrote: »
    Good on you for not caving today. I can relate to how you feel about family taking pictures you'd rather not have put on FB. I'm the same way, possibly worse because I make it point to say I don't want it done. Then my mom will post anyway because she thinks I'm being picky and that I'm "beautiful" and too hard on myself. I hate that it's out of my control. I prefer to post ones I approve of or at angles I deem somewhat flattering of my face! There are no flattering angles of my obese body, believe me. Lol
    amflautist wrote: »
    @yael452 I know exactly what you mean. Some horrid pictures of me 50# ago are floating around, and I wish they would disappear. Keep working on it! I started in 2011 and am still in the processing phase. But know this: we, your friends here at OMAD have been there, or are there, and we admire your commitment, and relish your successes!!!

    And I especially appreciate and admire your ability to go to lunch at a restaurant and not eat the food! Great work.


    Thank you both for your kind words and input :smile:
    It really is comforting to know that there are others out there who understand and know what it feels like.
    @wsandy8512 my mom is the same! She says "All my daughters are beautiful to me.." (we are, as people!) but she doesn't make any attempt to understand how I feel about myself - rather than how she feels about me or my appearance.
    I think we all know the weight we feel and look good at, and that can't be something dictated by others. I think my parents simply think this is they way my body naturally is, and that I should accept it rather then keep trying to "fight" it, but I know that regardless of bone-structure, there is "natural" and there is overweight!
    Something I tell myself is that when I get to my goal (and maintain it) I want to get some really nice photos taken by a professional as a reward for remaining dedicated.
    Thank you again for your comments, it feels so good to have kindred spirits out there!
  • Yael452Yael452 Posts: 82Member Member Posts: 82Member Member
    Eating window is closed, and I am stuffed!

    Is it strange that I wanted to hurry up and eat all the things I'd wanted and then get on with fasting some more? Tonight it almost felt like I was trying to get it over with! Haha

    I'm happy because I did a lot less grazing this evening; I had a small avocado with two scrambled eggs, two chicken sausages and some rice and beans, followed by a small portion of peanuts, corn chips and some chocolate measured out. I thought about having a bit more, but my stomach feels so full and there really isn't any need. I think it's just the part of my brain that thinks it's deprived, psh, shush brain!

    Calories came in at 1550-ish because of the peanuts and chocolate (a little bit too calorie dense I think). Without them I'd have eaten about 1,200.

    Barely any exercise in today, so I think I'll go for a walk to settle my stomach, and then fit in a small run before calling it a night.
    edited May 2017
  • Yael452Yael452 Posts: 82Member Member Posts: 82Member Member
    Good fasting day today, 23 hours!
    We had guests over for lunch for the Bank Holiday; Fellow South African expats who moved to the UK recently. My mom made fresh bread from scratch, 'Bobotie' (a traditional South African-Malay sweet curry) which is VERY tasty, and salad.
    Luckily my mom never pressures me to eat. I told her it looks so great, and I dished up a plate for myself to eat for my OMAD later (which I will tuck into in about 30 minutes). For dessert they had chocolate cake and ice-cream, but I may just pass on that.

    Around 3:30/4 p.m. I battled a little temptation because the food was just out in front of me the entire time, but I just got a coke zero from the fridge and that seemed to quash any need for food at that time.

    Another thing I did today: I ran my first run in a completely fasted state, I think I was 22 hours in? Anyway, it was a great run! 4 miles with a friend in semi-rain. My legs felt really great and not tired at all.
  • Yael452Yael452 Posts: 82Member Member Posts: 82Member Member
    Meal over - very full, so I'm going to go and walk my local trail to try and settle my stomach.

    I seem to be eating in the region of 1500 calories naturally, but I've got to say, it feels like a lot, not calorie-wise, but in my stomach (physically). I seem to finish eating feeling too full. I don't know if I'm eating too fast maybe? Or maybe eating too many carbs? I don't know.

    I'm trying to not worry about carb intake right now (even though I've come from a recent 3-month keto stint) because I want to see if I can lose weight regardless of what I eat, focusing only on OMAD and calories (But not eating junk either). That way, in future if I need to cut down on carbohydrates, that is still an option for me.

    Anyway, calories tonight around 1550, and I couldn't eat any more even if I wanted to!
  • Yael452Yael452 Posts: 82Member Member Posts: 82Member Member
    Another successful OMAD.

    Meal window opened at 6-10 p.m. and I only ate my meal around 9 p.m. with some small grazing beforehand.

    Ended the day with just under 1,400 calories - felt a bit better, but ultimately still feeling really full, too full really. I need to find a way of reducing this feeling.
  • wsandy8512wsandy8512 Posts: 1,897Member Member Posts: 1,897Member Member
    You are doing so well! I find the meals that fill me the most are at or over protein, but I do not do low carb. I get about 150 or below, most come from fruits and chia seeds. I've been enjoying upping calorie intake so when a plateau hits I can go down. But, some meals I cannot finish, not I often though. Usually I am full in a satisfied way, but not full as in food coma full. Lol
  • blambo61blambo61 Posts: 4,372Member Member Posts: 4,372Member Member
    I unfortunately never have this problem at 1500 cals and I like to feel full and keep topped off. That is partially why I got fat. I like to eat!
  • Yael452Yael452 Posts: 82Member Member Posts: 82Member Member
    wsandy8512 wrote: »
    You are doing so well! I find the meals that fill me the most are at or over protein, but I do not do low carb. I get about 150 or below, most come from fruits and chia seeds. I've been enjoying upping calorie intake so when a plateau hits I can go down. But, some meals I cannot finish, not I often though. Usually I am full in a satisfied way, but not full as in food coma full. Lol
    blambo61 wrote: »
    I unfortunately never have this problem at 1500 cals and I like to feel full and keep topped off. That is partially why I got fat. I like to eat!

    I think I need to use tracking calories as a tool not to overeat, but also combine that with actually listening to my body and stomach signals. For example, if I've only eaten 1,100 calories, but I feel full and satisfied, not to add calories just because the numbers aren't quite there. I think sometimes I eat more just because I can fit it in my calories, but not because I'm actually hungry or in need of more food.
    @wsandy8512 I'm not really low-carb either, at least not at the moment. I don't think I do very well with bread (because it's yummy) and it does seem to affect my weight, so I try to stick to beans, rice, and sweet potatoes if I need carbs.

    I like how I feel during the day though, nice and light. I find running on an empty stomach quite enjoyable once you get into it because there's no food repeating on you (this sometimes happens depending what you eat) and I feel like energy isn't being wasted on digestion. As long as I'm hydrated, I run just fine.
  • blambo61blambo61 Posts: 4,372Member Member Posts: 4,372Member Member
    Yael452 wrote: »
    wsandy8512 wrote: »
    You are doing so well! I find the meals that fill me the most are at or over protein, but I do not do low carb. I get about 150 or below, most come from fruits and chia seeds. I've been enjoying upping calorie intake so when a plateau hits I can go down. But, some meals I cannot finish, not I often though. Usually I am full in a satisfied way, but not full as in food coma full. Lol
    blambo61 wrote: »
    I unfortunately never have this problem at 1500 cals and I like to feel full and keep topped off. That is partially why I got fat. I like to eat!

    I think I need to use tracking calories as a tool not to overeat, but also combine that with actually listening to my body and stomach signals. For example, if I've only eaten 1,100 calories, but I feel full and satisfied, not to add calories just because the numbers aren't quite there. I think sometimes I eat more just because I can fit it in my calories, but not because I'm actually hungry or in need of more food.
    @wsandy8512 I'm not really low-carb either, at least not at the moment. I don't think I do very well with bread (because it's yummy) and it does seem to affect my weight, so I try to stick to beans, rice, and sweet potatoes if I need carbs.

    I like how I feel during the day though, nice and light. I find running on an empty stomach quite enjoyable once you get into it because there's no food repeating on you (this sometimes happens depending what you eat) and I feel like energy isn't being wasted on digestion. As long as I'm hydrated, I run just fine.

    I run fasted as well and do much better without food in the stomach. I do use the UCAN starch sometimes though if I've fasted for 20+ hours and then try to run long so I wont bonk (doesn't mess with my stomach and keeps me from bonking). I haven't had to do that if I run in the mornings when I still have more glycogen in me.
    edited May 2017
  • 1MADGIRL1MADGIRL Posts: 836Member Member Posts: 836Member Member
    You're doing very well.

    I feel that if I run in a fasted state I can't even see properly. Everything gets blurry for me...
  • wsandy8512wsandy8512 Posts: 1,897Member Member Posts: 1,897Member Member
    @blambo61 I think liking to eat too much is how we all ended up fat. Lol I still LOVE to eat, difference now is that OMAD has given me control whereas before I went hog wild. :)
    edited May 2017
  • Yael452Yael452 Posts: 82Member Member Posts: 82Member Member
    1MADGIRL wrote: »
    You're doing very well.

    I feel that if I run in a fasted state I can't even see properly. Everything gets blurry for me...

    I used to get that way when I was a much leaner (less fat on me) runner; but I suppose now that I've got some "reserves" for my body to burn, it isn't as much of a problem.
    wsandy8512 wrote: »
    @blambo61 I think liking to eat too much is how we all ended up fat. Lol I still LOVE to eat, difference now is that OMAD has given me control whereas before I went hog wild. :)

    Ha, yes @wsandy8512, that's exactly it. Eating to complete fullness, or rather "stuffed" status is what put me in this position. One thing I've realised about myself is how much of my eating is out of boredom...and how much of my eating I do as an active distraction from something - particularly distraction from things bothering me in my life. I wouldn't call it "comfort" eating so much as I would call it "Diversion" eating; it's as though I'm seeking a way to divert my thoughts away from unpleasantness, and toward munching on something. Obviously I used this method in the past (successfully or unsuccessfully) and now my brain has laid down a behavioural neural network so I repeat that pattern when I am distressed about a certain thought/thoughts.
    I'm learning a lot about myself for sure!
  • wsandy8512wsandy8512 Posts: 1,897Member Member Posts: 1,897Member Member
    Comfort eating. Diversion eating. Whatever you call it, over eating is what I was doing. Good times, bad times, neutral times., no reason was needed. Funny watching a favorite show or movie without munching on on anything anymore.

    I don't even feel inclined to do that anymore with the OMAD way of life. I find myself busying myself with something or thinking, or finding other things to do with my time. Also don't crave crap like I used to--which blows my mind.

    Here's to all of us, moving past our past unhealthy food habits!
    edited May 2017
  • minigrrllminigrrll Posts: 1,590Member Member Posts: 1,590Member Member
    Boredom! That's the ONE thing that will make me want to eat when I'm not hungry. If I'm doing a boring work task, food is the first thing I think about. And as I work from home, that's a recipe for disaster!
  • Yael452Yael452 Posts: 82Member Member Posts: 82Member Member
    I'm still doing OMAD, the last few days got a little busy and I didn't have time to come online and post.

    Hit a small "bump" (more emotional than anything) because I decided to weigh on Thursday morning (even though Sunday is going to be my official weigh-in day) because that marked one week of OMAD. Well I hopped on the scale after waking and it showed my weight to be 163.1(starting weight was 162.9) so basically higher than my starting weight :neutral:

    I don't necessarily follow the "only weigh once a week" rule because I gain very easily, one or two days off-track can take a week or two to get off and so I weigh every three days or so that I can stop an upward trend before it gets ahead of me. That said, I'm fully aware that it's water and food etc. that affects the weight on a day-to-day basis...But I've found that the more regularly I weigh myself, the less intimidating the scale is to me. Part of what put me in my current weight position was being too scared to see what my weight was...If I'd been more diligent about weighing myself, I do believe I would've been able to stop the majority of the weight I gained during my injury.

    All of that said, I weighed myself later in the day (right before my eating window opened) and despite drinking copious amounts of water, my weight was a 1lb lighter (162.0), but I'll only know my official weight loss for the week on Sunday. I've decided I will only weigh myself right before I break my fast.
    edited June 2017
  • blambo61blambo61 Posts: 4,372Member Member Posts: 4,372Member Member
    I believe in weighing often for the reason you mentioned, nothing will sneak up on you. On the flip side, if a gain is shown then some people freak out and get discouraged and might give up so then weighing frequently is discouraged. I would rather weigh often and know there are fluctuations and then realize that and come to know it and what to expect because of seeing what different things do to me because of often weighing. People have faith their program will work and don't weigh. People can also have faith and give it time if they are weighing often.
  • Brendalea69Brendalea69 Posts: 3,514Member Member Posts: 3,514Member Member
    I weigh everyday so I know what's going on, but I only log it weekly :)
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