Share Your Day
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Off the stairs... on the shelf.... park.... "oh, what was it that went thud when I landed... oh well... who cares, the dog's got it! Time to suntan!"0
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Yeah... well... we are operating under the kinder surprise setup here!
You’re a good man! 😇 And there’s your dad to consider too.
Mom lived with us in our home so I had a good idea of what was there. She’d been widowed for fifty years. Outside of a few sentimental items dispersed to family there wasn’t much I needed to save that hadn’t been safely tucked away.
When mom passed after a long illness, I was 67, tired and just needed to get it done. I commend you for your patience!2 -
Been thinking a lot about my eldest sister today. I was shocked at her deterioration when I saw her this week. She's just turned 72...BMI of 45+...almost completely immobile. She's got some medical issues too at the moment - just had a stent fitted for a blocked bile duct, undergoing tests to detect the cause of problems with her pancreas and a shadow on her liver scan that may or may not be benign. The liver, bile duct and pancreatic issues are clearly taking a physical toll, but her poor health is exacerbated by her weight and lack of physical fitness. She's a life-long exercise-avoider. She needs a knee replacement but her orthopaedic consultant won't operate until she's lost 25kg.
We walked 51 paces (I counted them) from the car to our parents' grave, and she had to rest for 25 minutes afterwards on a convenient bench before she could manage to walk back to the car. While sitting on the bench she said:
"I've felt constantly sick for a year now, so the doctor thinks the bile has been building for a while. I've not eaten anything for 12 months, I don't have any appetite at all. Most days this past year I've eaten no more than a teaspoon's worth of food. But I haven't lost any weight...but the liver consultant said of course I won't, because I'm so ill that the body holds on to its energy reserves and won't release them. So that's why I'm still overweight even though I'm not eating enough to keep a sparrow alive."
Well...what can you say in the face of such wilful self-delusion? When we returned to her house after visiting the cemetery we had to half-carry her to her recliner. There were literally half a dozen bowls and opened packets of hard candy within arm's reach, and several empty cans of full sugar Coke. It's as if she's committing slow suicide.
It's heartbreaking, but what can one do or say to make a difference? She's always blamed factors outside her control for her weight (e.g. childhood conditioning, 'glands', broken metabolism etc), and never faced up to the fact that she needs to own the problem and effect her own change. If she can't change her eating habits I fear she won't make old bones...but I'm at a loss how to help her. She hates her weight, but she's too mired in self-pity to dredge up the motivation to make even small changes to her diet, though she admits that's what her medical team has advised.
Man oh man...
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I am so sorry for your sister. At 72, it may be impossible to motivate your sister in her self delusional state. I’m sure she firmly believes she is eating very little. Unfortunately probably what she does eat has massive calories and poor nutritional value.
Is there any chance of getting her to counseling?1 -
Hug to you Bella.
I can see it you know. Minds are incredibly flexible and sometimes/often only show us what we expect/believe we will see.
Candy and pop is NOT food, they are snacks and liquids.
Sauces and condiments probably also do not count.
Only real breakfast, lunch and dinner made out of food are food!
As simple as that.
And If you end up believing that... well then, you are hardly eating anything yet the weight is not budging.
I've often had the discussion: "a nut bar is the equivalent of..."
"you're currently eating the equivalent of two nut bars, which was a better deal for you"...
to an utter blank-ness staring right back at me: "But this is dinner. What does it have to do with the nut bars I had earlier?"2 -
You're right, the ability of humans to delude themselves is astonishing. My sister was a WW leader for over a decade; she spent the last 10 years of her working life as the manageress of a Holland and Barratt store (the biggest healthfood retail chain in the UK); she's attended weekly Slimming World meetings religiously for the past 11 years (apart from during lockdown). So ignorance of nutrition is not the issue.
I thought she might have the grace to look a little shamefaced at spouting such drivel, but she appeared to genuinely believe she isn't losing weight because her body's holding onto the energy reserves. Intellectually she knows that's rubbish...but it's convenient to believe it's true.2 -
A phenomenon I’ve noticed among retired folks is a loss of purpose and direction. Those who had highly organized and often very successful work lives seemed to do worse than those who had fulfilling personal lives. Especially people whose entire identity was wrapped up in their work. Including stay at home moms whose entire lives are their kids.
How to fill the empty hours when you’ve had no practice? Some turned to drink, womanizing, eating, shopping - self destructive behaviors. Who am I without the validation and structure of my career?1 -
Went out of town for the weekend and got back yesterday afternoon. I am really enjoying these mini trips. Hopefully I will be able to still take them after I move.
Still no date as to that yet. I am in the second round of interviews with two different companies so *fingers crossed*. Both seem like they would be decent. One I can do fully remote and the other is hybrid. Both are in the Chicago loop with easy transit from where I want to live. The fully remote one may require some rare night and weekend work due to the type of work it is, but has a flexible schedule and would allow me to flex my time if I do work over. The other one I have not gotten as far into the process so I am unsure.
Gotta do some more purging this week. Doing the freezer and pantry, then making a list of the items I can't live without. A lot of the apartments I looked at don't have pantries so I won't have nearly the same amount of storage space. If anyone has any suggestions for this, please tell me. Either ways to organize that would help or any of those "must have" items to keep on hand at all times.1 -
Over the door shelves and turntables in the fridge and kitchen cabinets. Amazing what you can store behind the door!1
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If you need storage jars or containers, choose square ones rather than round ones so that you maximise your space. If freezer space is limited, freeze solids and liquids in ziplock bags rather than rigid containers. Look for tools and utensils that can do double duty, e.g. use a three tier steamer rather than 3 separate saucepans; use one high sided non-stick saute pan as it's more versatile than either a frying pan or a wok - can be used for all your one-pot dishes such as chilli, curry etc. If you like baking buy a high sided brownie pan that can also be used for a myriad dishes such as pasta bakes, flapjacks, quiches etc.
Make use of the inside of all your cupboard doors, by screwing on slim racks for spices, kitchen foil/clingwrap, utensils, saucepan lids etc.
Use a lazy susan in any corner cupboards, and store your crockery on storage pyramids. Consider under-shelf storage in your cupboards and fridge to maximise vertical space.
Decant bulky items such as cereals and pasta into slim rectangular containers.
As for non-perishable storecupboard staples...I'd always try to make room for canned tomatoes, passata, tomato puree, dried chickpeas and dried cannellini/kidney/haricot beans and some dried green or red lentils. What else? Oh yes, porridge oats; basmati and roundgrain rice; vegetable stock cubes/bouillon powder; canned tuna; olive/sunflower oil; sesame oil; balsamic vinegar; soy sauce; a handful of key spices and seasonings (sea salt; black peppercorns; chilli powder/flakes; cumin; garam masala; cayenne; mixed spice; cinnamon; nutmeg). What else? A dried short and long pasta (e.g. penne and spaghetti); dried yeast; plain flour; baking powder; bicarbonate of soda (so you can turn plain flour into self-raising if required); sultanas; soft brown sugar. Maybe a jar or honey, agave syrup or something similar for sweet dishes.
A pot of fresh basil and a dwarf chilli plant on the kitchen windowsill and mint/thyme/bay/oregano/sage/rosemary in small pots on a balcony or in a sunny windowbox. A couple of bulbs of garlic hanging from a convenient hook somewhere in a little gauze bag...4 -
Hello everyone!….I am getting this show back on the road….it is way over due!5
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So good to have you back Connie! I’ve missed you. Get back in here with the rest of us. 😍2
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Good on ya Connie!4
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Heard back from the dog adoption coordinator! She's going to call my references and we'll see.... Now I feel bad about not taking the cats in immediately but they're entirely indoor so I thought I could risk it. That's not going to be cheap, with three cats. Grr.4
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Out of sight out of mind? If it isn't visible it isn't there? There is a reason all clothes get stored ON the dresser!
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Bella - can't imagine how hard it is to witness. I hope (an agnostic prayer?) that your sister finds peace in whichever route she chooses. For your sake and everyone who loves her, I hope she chooses health. I have no siblings. I can't imagine what it must be like to love someone so much and have absolutely no "clout" when it comes to their self care. Parents were tough - kids are tough - I imagine witnessing self-sabotage in a sibling has its own flavour of frustration and pain.3
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I'm hoping so! We're going to put up the kitchen gate next weekend after we build the boxes to actually attach it to. The kitchen is a small U shaped space, and there's just no room even for the cats to lay on the floor and watch me work. So a gate reinforces "you can watch from over there". It also helps with any tendency to food steal or counter surf. Dogs or people, it's just easier to be entirely removed from temptation.
I put out the tieout line today, checking to make sure that it reached where I wanted and not where I don't. I don't plan to keep the dog on the line at all; we have a fenced yard. But we also have a drainage ditch/creek that is intermittently running across the right half of our back yard. And after a good hard rain, I do not want to have to wash the dog because he went and took a swim when he was only let out to do his business. I think the adoption people will understand this thinking. I also plan to crate the dog while I'm doing things like counting the pills out every week, so that if I drop one I don't have to worry that the dog ate the medication before I could stop him.
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Good luck, Alexandra!
Hello, Connie! Good to see you.
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I thought I was taking Girlfriend to the doctor today, but just as we were getting our lipstick on and making sure we had our phones in our purses, she got a call to reschedule it. I'm fine with this, I didn't want to drive all the blinking way across town today anyway.
That makes the issue of getting the crate simpler.3 -
Yeah - what is it with the rescheduling of everything? Have a maintenance contract for AC and we’re on our third reschedule. At this rate summer will be over before the tune up is done. They’re supposed to come Friday and I fully expect another cancellation call tomorrow.
Getting doctor appointments or lab tests equally bad. Last minute calls, no availability for months.
Kind of like the airline experience but in everyday life. Wonder how long before the effects of pandemic shutdown are solved. Hope it’s soon rather than never!2 -
Well, I don't know how many calories I burned moving furniture and rugs, but I broke an all-over sweat, and now I'm tired.
Unfold crate and confirm it fits exactly where I want it.
Barrister's bookcase out of Boyfriend's office and down the stairs and into the library.
Move furniture, roll up red rug in living room, carry upstairs to be wrapped and put in the attic later.
Brown rug out of bedroom (it had been in the attic, and I got it out) and down stairs, furniture moved to lay it down.
So I'm going to go wash my hair and have a shower (yes, with my hair these are two separate things) and probably lie down a bit before my back or feet realize that I was moving furniture and get angry about it.4 -
I fear the anger!
Based on your hair description... I also suspect I know a quick way you can lose a couple of lbs 
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(laugh) I'll cut my hair when my shoulders won't let me take care of it any more. Honestly, the ability to put it up and not think about it at all and be read as feminine in the process is worth the air-drying time.
The other option is the one that my sons use; buzz it off short enough they don't have to cut it.3 -
In the hottest snap of the year to date (31C since last Sunday, and forecast to remain this high until next Tuesday) I'm having to wear a mask from getting up time to bedtime, except when I take myself off out into the garden or up into the spare bedroom (which is my quarantine room for sleeping).
All because one of my sisters 'forgot' to tell me until I was leaving on Saturday that three nights before we met for our bi-annual 'have lunch then go and place flowers on our parents' and brother's grave' meet-up, she and her husband went to an 80th birthday party with 24 other people, of which two were COVID positive, and no-one wore masks or attempted social disatancing!
"I didn't tell you because I thought you might not come..." she said.
What the hell is WRONG with people?! I've lived like a hermit for the past 2.25 years to protect my husband....and she takes it upon herself to do a risk assessment on my behalf! I was super-careful during my visit (as always) but I obviously took off my mask to eat (and I sat next to this particular sister during lunch)...I would've given her a MUCH wider berth (or not gone at all) if I'd known there was a high risk she'd been exposed...
Today is day 5 so I've taken a PCR test - negative, thankfully. Just 5 more days of mask-wearing before I can feel reasonably confident that I've escaped infection.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr....
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Hope your other sister who has significant medical problems is also testing! People just seem to be “over” covid whether or not they’re exposed. No more distancing or masks even if they have symptoms! Only place still requiring masks is the doctor’s office. Otherwise it’s a free-for-all here.
We’re all vaccinated so no worries- except for the immunocompromised, elderly, very young ... and of course the new variants. 🙄
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Holy kittens. What's wrong with them.
to begin with to have a party for an 80 year old attended by two confirmed positive people... and then it only gets better blow by blow!
I'm in an area right now that I would characterize as anti masking. Ok. We are outside or in large areas, I am keeping a good part of 6ft distance.... wtf are you sticking your sorry mouth in my personal space???
Dudes, if I can smell your pits or your halitosis we're way better friends than I want to be.
I think i will start going out to roll in pig 💩 before being with people... that way they'll keep their distance!!! 🤬🤬🤬
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Good idea, PAV. Maybe instead of Skunk Off we need Skunk On (people off)?
What horrible behaviour.
Hope you stay negative, in the most positive way, Bella.3 -
Washed floors, laundry, chopped coleslaw for tomorrow.
Oh and —-- opened the kitchen door to our attached garage and found a large 🐍 snake slithering near the door. Yelled for hubby who managed to beat the snake to death with a shovel. Swept it out to the driveway. It wasn’t a coral or rattling so we assume it was of the non-deadly variety. Still a bit more excitement than I needed! 😱. Hoping he or she didn’t bring friends.
I’ll be cautious about going into the garage for a long time.3
Alexandra: I hope it all goes smoothly for you! And that