General Discussion
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Yep. Definitely feeling this. I am a control freak and hate feeling out of control. My daily steps have decreased as I'm sitting all day in front of a screen instead of walking around the classroom so that's thrown up its own challenges. But I've really tightened up on logging and I think it's to regain a sense of control.2
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I went over my calorie allotment for today, and I'm not apologetic about it at all
After eating my calories for the day, I found myself still hungry. I still had half a piece of the sugar free coconut cream pie in the fridge, and wanted some croutons in my white bean chili as it was rather bland. I chose to eat them both, even though it pushed me over by about 260 calories.
But my reasoning is this:
1) I've been doing very well in sticking to goal for the last 3 months. From what I can remember, the only time I went over in that time was the purposeful refeed on my birthday. Letting loose a little on the reins once in a while, especially as long as I tighten back up promptly the next day isn't going to hurt me at all.
2) I've been really active the last 2 weeks especially with walks, elliptical sessions, low impact aerobic videos. I've only been counting back 1/4-1/3 of the calories, trying to keep a buffer going. Today I used as a rest day and only took an hour walk around the 4 acre piece of bottom land my parents own. I had no way of figuring out the distance, though, so went conservative and only counted 1/3 of the calories given for 2.5 mph, though I was probably a little faster than that. Also, the ground is uncultivated and very rough, so it was challenging terrain to be walking anyway - not like the smooth, paved streets of town!
while I know that about 6,000 of the 15,000+ steps my step counter says I got in today are from playing the piano for the church live streamed services today, that still means that 9,000+ are legitimate steps, and pushes me a lot closer to being lightly active rather than sedentary. When I compare sedentary to lightly active for my weight, there's about a 250 calorie difference, which means I was approaching being int he hole by that 250 calories. Subtracting out the exercise portion of those that I had counted still means I was in the whole by probably 225 calories. And truth be told, most days this week, that has been the story - I've truly been more lightly active than sedentary, but while I ate back a portion of my exercise calories, I left my settings at sedentary.
All that is to say I believe that I don't think eating over today is going to mess up my loss rate for this week, as I think I am set to lose faster than I had planned anyway.
so I had my pie and I enjoyed every bite! lol
I'm off tomorrow and have plans for the day if the weather is agreeable. I want to mow my neighbor's lawn (shouldn't take more than 45 minutes, but its all hillside) and get some plants moved and bulbs planted. I want to change the oil and filters in my riding mower. I want to do some laundry. and maybe some other things as well, so tomorrow is planned to be a fairly active day too.2 -
Today's definitely a work day for me. I've been at TOM the last week, and didn't do a lot of the weekly housework, let dishes go, etc. because I just Could Not. So given that a week from tomorrow my house is going to get photographed to encourage people to buy it, I am going to get it all spruced up and pretty. I have laundry on, and will clean the kitchen (Including washing the cabinet fronts down with mild soap, cleaning the oven and the microwave, and polishing the chrome and steel around the sink) and make sure I have a place for everything to go out of sight, because no one wants to see my steel work bowls perched on top of the fridge, or my drying rack. There's a lot of that sort of tidying that needs to go on, and maybe if I start now, I'll have less of it to do by next Monday when I freak out at realizing the house has to be ready tomorrow morning OMG.
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I tried my hand at making homemade potato chips in my air fryer. For about 1/2 of hte potato, I used my mandolin with thin slice, but felt like it was chipping the potato instead of slicing it, so I put the rest in the slicer for my food processor. I then soaked them in water all day, changing it out twice before trying them off, spraying them with oil, and tossing them in the air fyrer. They turned out great! though the best were the ones that were the mandolin sliced ones, so I'll keep that in mind for next time.0
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@bmeadows380:I love experimenting like that and learning to do things from scratch. I'm low-nightshade so potato chips aren't on my radar, but there's some Victorian bread recipes I really want to give a try someday.0
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I woke up at 3 am this morning feeling very nauseous - bad enough that I actually went to get a bucket just in case. I rarely, rarely ever - what's a nice, benign term? expectorate? lol - anyway, I rarely ever actually do that; usually I just suffer. I had a touch of food poisoning back in the summer, and had thought this morning that perhaps something I ate yesterday didn't agree with me? Was my body rebelling at the extra strenuous work I did yesterday? I laid really still and eventually, the feeling subsided and I was able to fall asleep.
Well, at lunch, I've been trying to to an aerobics video, and right before I started it, I ate a little bit of roast beef lunch meat I had in the fridge, which I had bought on Saturday. Now, about 3 hours after eating that, I'm feeling slightly nauseous again. I think I figured out what got me this morning.....hopefully, since I was able to ride it out this morning, hopefully this afternoon, the feeling will pass quickly.3 -
Tomorrow the house gets its glamour shots, so today is a lot of the weekly cleaning and generally tidying up areas where I usually permit disorder. If the weather permits I'll weed the front flowerbed too.0
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good luck to you, Alexandra!0
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It's been a day. I am still cleaning at nine pm. Boyfriend had an emotional crisis on exactly the wrong day for it for me. Not only was I trying to get everything pretty and clean for pictures, but I have had my period show up and make me change my clothes twice, which always just does lovely things for a woman's mood. (Once after going to the pharmacy, where as I stood in line I could feel the containment breach and couldn't do a thing about it....) But I am on the downslope. I need to steam the kitchen floor, pick up the loose stuff and sweep the carpet. And then I am going to go have a hot bath with a new book and go the heck to bed. Because I'm getting up at six to put straight the things I could not put straight tonight.
The cats are NOT going to be happy. I got a large cage of the sort you put dogs in outside, and it has a cat tree in it and both carriers set up as hiding places, and a litter box, and will put their food and water in tomorrow, because I have to put all the cat stuff out of the way. The one cat would just hide under the bed, no problem, for the photos. The other would photobomb and generally be sociable. So they will go in lockdown, and it is the way we will have things for the showings, when they happen.1 -
This is the very same hat purchased a second time. The first one has been outside for many miles of walking in various types of weather.0 -
wow - that is bleached! How old is that hat?1
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bmeadows380 wrote: »wow - that is bleached! How old is that hat?
According to my order history it is 1 year and 12 days old.1 -
today has been a day of rest for me - I didn't get a walk in or anything; in fact, I don't even have 3,000 steps in today! But we all need a day off now and then. My knee did especially; all that standing on it yesterday has it uncomfortable. It's not hurting, but it feels swelled, like fluid is being held inside it, and I can't find a good, compression knee brace to help with that. None are big enough in the local places, and the I got from Walgreens actually makes it worse. I borrow one from my mother and it helps a little, but not enough as its one of those wrap style. I have a couple of neoprene compression style braces, but they've gotten too big and aren't tight enough at all.
I put an order in for a set that will fit me (my thigh is 25" around 3 to 5" above my knee, and the ones in the stores are all up to 20"), but its going to be the end of May until they get here. So meanwhile, I'll have to do what I can. I wear constriction stockings for swelling of my feet and ankles (which isn't anywhere near as bad as it was since I lost the weight) and which are especially helpful when I'm sitting all day. I'm thinking of taking an old pair and cutting the toes out so I can pull them past my knee and see if they'll help. otherwise, I'm going to have to limit myself to non-squat cardio exercises, as I know that's what did it. Thankfully, walking doesn't bother it, though I don't think I'll be digging the bike back out for a while.
But I'm also just tired today. I tried to take a nap for an hour, intending to get up and take a walk before needing to head back down to the church for evening service, but when that 1st hour rolled around, I had just gotten comfortable and didn't feel like getting up, so I ended up staying down for another hour and missing the walk. but I'm okay with it; we all need a day of rest once in a while, and I've been hitting the activity hard the last few weeks!
Plus, I'm hoping that tomorrow will be pretty and I can get the grass mowed. While my plan is to get the riding mower ready and mowing with it, I'll still need to edge with the pushmower and I'll use the extra time to weedwhack as well, so still will get plenty of activity in tomorrow.
The one thing about having a rest day is that since I'm sedentary today, I"m not getting my extra exercise calories today, and my brain is protesting being forced to stick to 1600 today. It liked having those extra calories! But I'm doing okay with it; its grumbling but not being overwhelmingly insistent, so I can ignore it. Plus I still have my jello before bedtime, and I plan to go to bed early tonight.2 -
Yesterday I ate all the food. Before the virus we would have been on vacation so we didn't want to waste a whole week at home we just took the day and ate a lot more than we needed.
The final tally was about 4000 calories over maintenance.
I change my logging style on these types of days to log in a way that I am reasonably confident in getting a fairly accurate calorie count without weighing everything that goes in my mouth. I pick a couple of items and charge myself too high for them. One example is the pizza I ate was made with one half that was more caloric and the other half more reasonable. I recorded the pizza as if the entire pizza was the higher calorie. I don't try to shield myself from the high calorie count at all I just want to feel a little more relaxed because on an actual vacation I would not typically have a scale anyway.
I have never actually seen an anomaly in my spreadsheet when doing it this way. Of course it would be hard to catch anyway on a single day if the rest are logged consistently but I always try to find it anyway.
Yesterday was the first time I have had a milkshake since I started losing. I never drank them very often before losing and the calorie count is so outrageous for such a small amount that I never wanted to do it even on days like yesterday. I decided to do it and my original instincts on the subject were correct. 550 calories for what I had and the fact I am not really a sweets person was, for me, an unwise choice. It had a great flavor but the amount was irritating. I am glad I did it though. There is a part of me that hates any food restrictions so it was an itch that I needed to scratch. It will be easy to remember how disappointing it was so that should make it easy to go several more years before I need to have another one.6 -
@NovusDies you are way more in control of this than I am - I know how guilty I'd feel if I went 4,000 past maintenance, though I know how easy that is to do. Especially with things like milkshakes! I'm not a milkshake person, either, but I did like to get iced coffees or smoothies once in a while, but like you said, when you look at the calorie count for a mocha, even made with splenda, its just not worth it to me.
There's a pizza joint that has the best calzones, but I figure even one of the more conservative ones is probably pushing 3,000 calories in just one, and I'm not very good at cutting it in half and holding the other for later.
I could see the benefit in eating like that - learning how to keep it in check and get back to business afterwards is a key to maintenance, I'd think. Learning to let it go and not crush you with guilt (which is what would happen to me), would probably be a great tool to have for those who struggle with binges, too.
I'm hoping my vacation for the end of May is still on. My state is talking opening things back up slowly, so there's a chance that the state park where I have a cabin rented will be back open in 4 weeks; I'm hoping! It's not like its a crowded venue like a beach; its a cabin in the woods. We'd be isolated that whole week except for passing the occasional person on a hiking trail or something. The one big thing would be to make sure everything is cleaned when we get there, and take our own linens and dishware (the cabin provides those, but in this sort of thing, I think I'd rather just have my own).1 -
@bmeadows380
Banking enough calories over 6 days to eat one day at maintenance each week has given me an additional benefit. I won't say that going into and out of a higher calorie day is always effortless but it is usually that way.
It also helps that this is exactly what I want for now and the rest of my life. On special occasions or sometimes just for fun I want to be able to cut loose and eat a lot of food. I do not experience guilt because this has been my plan from the very beginning. One of my earliest sayings was that I did not want to be sitting in the corner at Thanksgiving eating celery sticks. If almost every other day in November is "controlled" there is no reason I have to do it either.
One of the reasons I never wanted to consider weight loss surgery was because it potentially meant I would be permanently forced to eat fist sized amounts of food for FOREVER. While I will be the first to admit I have not been in good control of myself and if it were as simple as crime and punishment perhaps I should have to eat that way for the rest of my life. However, that is a harsh way of viewing things. I have to be willing to extend myself some grace.2 -
Oh my goodness @NovusDies , how was your digestive system after that day? I can't imagine it tolerated the injection of so much sugar very well.
I also had a "free day" on Sunday. It was my daughter's birthday and since there wasn't much else for her to do, I wanted the food to be extra special and I made a decision that for the first time in 300+ days not to log. It didn't go overboard until we got to dessert. I made a vegan Sundae bar with Vegan brownies, Tahini Caramel, homemade Chocolate Magic Shell, and Whipped Coconut Cream. And of course, chopped nuts and a cherry on top. Very calorie dense, and my gut is still hasn't quite gotten back to normal, but it was so, so good.
I've gained 4 pounds in 2 days after that escapade, but my body composition scale says its just water, and I have no regrets. After hitting a 100 pound loss I think the logging break was well deserved. I'm back on the logging path again.1 -
@speyerj
My digestive system is fine unless you count my foolish choice to eat too many spicy things which has created a "burning" exit. I had some very minor reflux but not enough to need medication.
I wouldn't be worried about carbs or sugar anyway. The are the easiest things to digest and other than a slightly elevated blood glucose level for a day or so afterwards they have very little residual implications for most people.
It is really only the big water weight gain that presents a problem and if you do not count the negative impact on reflection in the bathroom mirror it is only exercise that is hindered by it.
If I had known there would be a sundae bar at your place I would have skipped the milkshake.
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The last time I had a milkshake it made me sick, because it was so much more sugar than I'm used to eating. I'm not saying I will never have one again, but I don't like being sick on sugar, so that day may be far gone.1
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Ha!..every time I binge eat I am very sick....does that make me stop doing it?...evidently not...after over 40+ years abusing my digestive system, I am finally getting a handle on it ( somewhat )....I am working on taking off the last 2 of the 8 lbs I gained over a week ago... I use to throw in the towel after a binge and continue eating for days until I was almost in a self induced sugar coma....now I am able to get back on track fairly quick...overeating huge amounts does not feel “ normal “ any longer and I don’t enjoy the thrill of it...I feel uncomfortable and lethargic afterwards...and yes, I have been to a psychologist and a nutritionist which both helped somewhat...at least I know the reasons I binge....only no answers how to prevent it from happening....I am not even sure what triggers an episode...I am doing better and after losing 75 lbs I feel like I am gaining some control over this problem...I know it is something I will have to deal with the rest of my life...1
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@bmeadows380
Banking enough calories over 6 days to eat one day at maintenance each week has given me an additional benefit. I won't say that going into and out of a higher calorie day is always effortless but it is usually that way.
It also helps that this is exactly what I want for now and the rest of my life. On special occasions or sometimes just for fun I want to be able to cut loose and eat a lot of food. I do not experience guilt because this has been my plan from the very beginning. One of my earliest sayings was that I did not want to be sitting in the corner at Thanksgiving eating celery sticks. If almost every other day in November is "controlled" there is no reason I have to do it either.
One of the reasons I never wanted to consider weight loss surgery was because it potentially meant I would be permanently forced to eat fist sized amounts of food for FOREVER. While I will be the first to admit I have not been in good control of myself and if it were as simple as crime and punishment perhaps I should have to eat that way for the rest of my life. However, that is a harsh way of viewing things. I have to be willing to extend myself some grace.
I completely relate to this; I also didn't want weight loss surgery because I'm not keen on making a permanent change to my body that isn't natural; what would the long term affects for 20 or 30 years from now? And there's no guarantees with it anyway - you can stretch your stomach back out and eat more, though I wonder what that does to the stomach long term since I would think it would be thinner. I certainly don't want to be in my brother and sister-in-laws position. They both had roux-n-y and will now be permanently malnourished and must take supplements the rest of their lives. Not to mention that my brother is now having a horrible time with kidney stones because he can't stay hydrated enough. I just didn't want to even consider that route, especially as there are no guarantees. Now, 3 years out, my brother admits that all the promises the clinic made for a support team isn't there; he has no support and is on his own to maintain it. He and his wife both have regained around 60 lbs each. Granted, they aren't anywhere near where they started, either, but I felt like if I was going to lose the weight and have any hope of keeping it off, I needed to learn a new lifestyle, and just didn't see myself doing that through surgery.
My guilt complex is annoying, but it doesn't stop me from doing some things; I just live with that annoying nagging in the back of my mind lol And when it comes to holidays or reunions, I'm definitely not sitting in the corner with celery sticks But I do try to be mindful of the amount, and try lighten up the recipes I'm making. I'm learning that I have to find ways to compromise with my guilt complex. So I haven't gotten to the point yet where I can just not count a day and not think about it, but at the same time, I can make a deal with myself to loosen the reigns I suppose its all part of the process; you're much further down the trail than I am, and likely don't have the same sort of baggage to carry along on that path as I do - we all have our own hang ups, I suppose. But I'm working on it and hope to reach the point where I can move into and out of maintenance effortlessly one day! 1 -
[quote="conniewilkins56;c-44932461.at least I know the reasons I binge....only no answers how to prevent it from happening.[/quote]
When you feel it starting to happen, say it aloud. "I want to binge." Then just ask yourself why. You may not get a straightforward answer the first time, but if you keep doing it, you will get an answer back. Then you can work from there. I give you a sample dialogue I used on myself last time it came up.
I want brownies (Said with the tone of a whining child, which always comes with my binges.)
Why?
Because Girlfriend made me go to the store after her stupid stuff when I didn't want to go and I was tired!
Brownies won't fix that. Tired means you should go to bed.
But....
If you make brownies, you'll be up another two hours, and you don't want to stay up two more hours.
Well, no...
They'll make you feel sick.
True...
They never taste as good as you think they will.
That's true too....
And you've done such a good job with staying under your calories that if you throw that away over this, you'll feel really ashamed and guilty.
Yeah. If I'm going to break the diet, I'm going to do it for some really stupendous food. Not this. Let's just have our usual crackers and cheese and go to bed.
And that was that. But I have a lot of practice arguing my way back out of a binge.
I also recommend that you journal when you want to binge, and write down what happened and what you were feeling. Over time, you may see a pattern emerge, and you'll figure out your triggers.
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Thanks...those are great ideas...last time I binged was on a half pan of frozen brownies!...I “ paid” for it for days afterwards....
I like the dialogue idea...where did you learn these tricks?0 -
AlexandraFindsHerself1971 wrote: »The last time I had a milkshake it made me sick, because it was so much more sugar than I'm used to eating. I'm not saying I will never have one again, but I don't like being sick on sugar, so that day may be far gone.
If something is going to get me it would be a drastic change in fat intake. Mine is typically on the lowish side and in the past when I have had a big day it would involve no additional "sweet" items because they are not what I want typically.
Lately all my macros are higher because my calories are much higher so I have more of a tolerance for all of it I suppose.0 -
I am autistic, and I learned to do it when I have what I term a "feelingsball" which might be anger or fear or frustration or sadness or resentment or hurt and I don't know which it is, or if it has several of these, what is what. So I learned to just pause and interrogate the feeling and more or less be a good parent to myself and respond with caring and firmness.
I have a rule that I can have anything I want, I just don't keep it in the house. (Except for the medicinal fudge, and that won't let anyone binge on it.) So if I want brownies, or cookies, or muffins, I can have them, but I have to make them. Very often I don't want them bad enough to make them. (grin) It also helps that when I want them, I want the version I make, which is infinitely better than the store-bought, so I already know store-bought won't do.3 -
AlexandraFindsHerself1971 wrote: »I am autistic, and I learned to do it when I have what I term a "feelingsball" which might be anger or fear or frustration or sadness or resentment or hurt and I don't know which it is, or if it has several of these, what is what. So I learned to just pause and interrogate the feeling and more or less be a good parent to myself and respond with caring and firmness.
I have a rule that I can have anything I want, I just don't keep it in the house. (Except for the medicinal fudge, and that won't let anyone binge on it.) So if I want brownies, or cookies, or muffins, I can have them, but I have to make them. Very often I don't want them bad enough to make them. (grin) It also helps that when I want them, I want the version I make, which is infinitely better than the store-bought, so I already know store-bought won't do.
I should have said, a tiny portion of my latest binge was a half pan of frozen brownies....I ate tons of other stuff,too...if I could stop before I REALLY dig in, that would be great!.
..sometimes I know I binge when I am bored or frustrated....I have a bit of OCD and I like to be in control of everything around me...if something or someone upsets my apple cart it make me crazy!....only child,spoiled brat syndrome!0 -
Re the boredom: Make sure you have several things available for you to do, and things that adapt to varying levels of energy and environmental issues; it's not much fun to take a brisk walk in the cold rain, after all! I'm used to this because I have chronic pain, and so I have things I can do when I feel good, things I can do when I need to not spend too much energy, and things I can do when I'm in pain and need to distract myself. If you need to make a physical, written list of things you can do, then do that.
I would also check how you're eating your calories, because there may genuinely be a need for a hundred calories or so to get you through to the next meal, and a snack will keep everything from going to blazes. More than that, with time I've got even the deepest part of my psyche okay with being just a little hungry, because we will eat, and it will satisfy, and it will be okay. No need to go nuts and Eat The World. So getting hungry isn't by itself a trigger now. That said, I have had to make eating on time a priority. I don't cope well when overly hungry, and it is very triggering to not get to eat on time. It's okay if you have to plan your life with one eye on when you need to eat, because it obviously isn't working to just let it go. (grin) I usually keep some form of 100 calorie snack in my purse, because that may be the difference between my being able to cope with serenity, or, well, not coping and heading for a full autistic meltdown. It'd be nice if my adulthood didn't rely on that, but, well, it does. So I deal with it accordingly.
Dealing with frustration is a learned set of skills. You may have to teach yourself how to pull away and walk away and not let the frustration levels mount up too high. Again, have other things to do, and be willing to dialogue with yourself and say, "Yes, I'm frustrated. It's okay to be frustrated, this is a frustrating situation. I'm going to go do something else and come back to it later, and then I'll have a new perspective on it."
If you would like to friend me and talk about this more privately, feel free.
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Before all this CV19 business I was considering getting my drivers license updated with a new picture. That was put on hold because it was completely non essential.
At some point between Friday and Saturday I lost it so now I have to get a new one.
Funny how things work out.
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I'm in that situation with my social security card. I was putting off going and getting the name changed from FirstName MaidenSurname MarriedSurname after the divorce, because I want to add on a new first name legally, and I thought I might do it all in one go. And then CV19, and at this rate I'll go in and add a new first name and a new married name. Sheesh.2
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I went more than 20 years in between having a physical copy of my SS card. I didn't need it. One day last year I was renewing my passport so I decided to run by the SS office first. I was there at opening and only waited about 40 minutes which is speedy by their standards.
I assume the moment I get my new license my old one will show up. The last place I remember seeing it was in the garage on Friday when I sprayed it with lysol in the decon zone. I picked up a can of spray oil by mistake and lubricated it first.2
