Message I just received - if you need a laugh :)
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This is the type of stuff that makes it more difficult for more reasonable guys like myself to get attention. It is exhausting to weed through the nonsense for women.0
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Got another message!!! This makes three from him, all with me not replying to any of them...wow.
"Ok I got my act together to day you be ready for full out fun game on so waht is new this week well if your a polar bear you can get outta hybernation mode this week don't need to freeze your bun's off! yes humor is optional is by anything of interest and compairing apples to apples and keeping somone's attention that is anything short of the documentary of stupidity it's on youtube but me and you cooking in the kitchen might be like curious george and apple I know cowboy likes them even though he is a little lame this week he still likes apples have never seen him say no to one! Me hiking and horseback riding in the free time maybe after we can try on my wanna be rock star ways of guitar I do konw r&b and this certainly is not my first rodeo............. I still can't sing and play rodeo clown but have never been in the ring and played guitar while be chased by a bull either but I did find out that playing your guitar while cooking score's point's it's like a extra ingredient that seasons the food! Was tought on my first kitchen job after seperating the pea's from the carrot's that the food taste better when you pu love into your art and soul's..................................."
just puzzling.
Yikes, I have a headache from trying to decipher that!0 -
Krissy, I think it's love at first sight!
Yeah, I see what you mean here, I tend to avoid this kind of girls like the plague. They just mean drama and pressure, which I don't really need atm (never in fact).
It's likda like women who have never been in a LTR w/a man expect him to constantly be the knight in shining armor, fix everything around the house the instant they ask, text them 1000x per day of their undying love, stay up talking to them all night after sex, and be filthy rich even though he spends hours hanging on her every word instead of actually working. Life isn't like that.I don't understand what that means... How do women age and what is there to criticize?
Thanks for the clarification.All 3 of them constantly compared me to girls 15+ years younger as far as shape, skin tone. Those things change as you age.
Also, 2 of these 3 guys seemed to be under the impression that life with a woman consisted of bringing home a paycheck and then playing video games all night with her cooking dinner and cleaning up so he can save his money from going out to eat.
The last one that irked me, and this may be TMI, but you asked... I work hard (diet, exercise, self-awareness) to minimize the impact of TOM on the people around me. But the 3 guys I've dated who never lived with a woman took even the slightest perturbation in personality as a sign that I'm crazy-PMSing. I've seen other women be walking timebombs crazy PMSing, and that's not me.
So yeah, when I find out a guy I'm liking has never been married, never lived with a woman, I hope for the best but guard my emotions because I'll likely have to move on after he starts holding me to unrealistic expectations.
To be honest, I think these guys are extremely immature and/or stupid (how old were they?).
The physical aspect of things that comes with aging is just so obvious and visible all the time around us (even THEY - themselves - feel/see the effect of it I'm sure!) that I'm just wondering if they were just "poking you" saying you don't look like a 20yo for a bit of friendly banter, or if they really believe that women stay young forever... (Although, it is true that men normally age better than women on average)
Now about their behaviour at home, again, seems really immature to me. Although I thought you were the one earning money :laugh: (not them bringing the paycheck!). Perhaps they're missing their mum and want to go home, play games and be called for dinner?
I know I've always pride myself on being able to do all the chores (laundry, cleaning, washing, ironing, etc nothing amazing I know but... eh! Still I find I'm better than most men my age :laugh: ) pretty much because I've been more or less living on my own since I was 17 y.o. and I'm fairly independent.
I mean, if the girl is not a controlling maniac that asks you to cook a chief dinner as soon as you come back from work and wants to clean the floor 3 times a day (I can't catch up with these people! Too demanding...), then I'm happy to do my bit.
As for the TOM comment, I would just use this as banter when the girl would start an argument I don't want to be involved in (because you put the wrong tomato sauce in pastas for example). I'd say: "Wow... Chill out. Is it this TOM?" (no need to be like that, alright?! It was an insignificant mistake!). Other than that, I'm stumped as to why they would think that.
I'd assume bad days at work or being ignored by their partner (me) would actually affect women more than TOM.
What I find weird is that it seems they are completely leaning on you: I would hate myself for doing that, I'd feel pathetic (I mean unless I'm going through a bad phase... But I meant leaning on you every normal day).
I've lived with a woman on a side note (for a few years), but didn't have to make many adjustments as I think the real reason I'm like that is because I don't want to rely on people (I value my independence too much).
PS: I agree though that most men are complete d!cks when it comes to this. I think I must be one of the few who I know who have got an "innate" understanding of this... My feminine side perhaps? :laugh: (still I would expect most older men to have come across some situations like that in their lives and learnt the way things work)0 -
I think these guys are extremely immature and/or stupid (how old were they?).
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What I find weird is that it seems they are completely leaning on you
At the times I dated them 34, 38, and 45. I feel bad for the 45-yr old, as he's 47 now. He's a trainer, and only looks *maybe* 32. So he's always hung out with younger girls. Now he's ready to settle down... and have his own kids... but none of the women interested in an "almost 50yr old" with a so-so job are willing to bear him children.
The other part is not surprising to me at all... I'm not rich or anything, but I do alright. My girlfriends with similar earning power note the same phenomenon: The men who stick around usually seem to be interested in getting a sugar momma, not a long term mutually rewarding relationship. They act smitten with you at first, and then shift the relationship to it being all about taking care of them, after all, you know that thing about old women: no one wants 'em so they'll be grateful for whatever crumbs you give 'em.
:grumble:0 -
Part 1:At the times I dated them 34, 38, and 45. I feel bad for the 45-yr old, as he's 47 now. He's a trainer, and only looks *maybe* 32. So he's always hung out with younger girls. Now he's ready to settle down... and have his own kids... but none of the women interested in an "almost 50yr old" with a so-so job are willing to bear him children.
The other part is not surprising to me at all... I'm not rich or anything, but I do alright. My girlfriends with similar earning power note the same phenomenon: The men who stick around usually seem to be interested in getting a sugar momma, not a long term mutually rewarding relationship. They act smitten with you at first, and then shift the relationship to it being all about taking care of them, after all, you know that thing about old women: no one wants 'em so they'll be grateful for whatever crumbs you give 'em.
:grumble:
It's called natural selection.
Part 2:
I find it really difficult to reply to your posts tbh. In fact, I find them really interesting and fascinating, but I realise I just lack experience on this topic and probably have never met many of these types of men (well, not that they would be likely to admit it anyway, I would assume).
The only experience I have with this is with people from a different cultural background (immigrants mainly) from a place where women would be traditionally relegated at home. So they grew up with this idea that women do the chores and all that. And even then, I have seen plenty of exceptions so you can "go against the flow".
Also, I'm wondering if this has anything to do with education... Have they got decent degrees or anything? (I do, so most people I see tend to have degrees too, and thus good situations on average, which completely negates the need for a sugar momma)
Do you date people with "good education/degrees"? If not why?
Education is actually such a massive factor in couples (social circles form during your studies, habits, income, location, culture, ...)
I'm stumped by your posts. :laugh: Need to think about this...
(EDIT: sorry for the threadjacking :blushing: )0 -
I find it really difficult to reply to your posts tbh.
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Do you date people with "good education/degrees"? If not why?
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(EDIT: sorry for the threadjacking :blushing: )
What's "tbh"?
I know lots of people with "good education/degrees" but they never seem interested. Not sure why that is. The funny thing is, I wouldn't mind a more tradittional arrangement (where I take the bulk of the household duties and he take the builk of the earning/fixing) . Don't worry about not understanding my posts, lol. I know I'm unique, and not in a hurry to change.
Me too, Krissy, sorry for the threadjack0 -
No worries, I find this topic interesting. My thread was more for entertainment purposes, but I am always interested to see what other people's dating experiences have been like.
I am finding guys my own age (32) or around that seem to not have any interest in settling down. Also, for me it is frustrating because as someone who recently decided to go back to school to pursue another degree (nursing), and is bartending through school because the money is so good and you can take time off when you need it...it is VERY hard for me to find a guy that appreciates my decisions. They want some woman in a power suit who works 9-5 Monday through Friday and can take off every single weekend to Cape Cod or NYC or a Yankees game. I certainly plan to support myself, and while I would not necessarily want to date a guy who did the bare minimum at his job and had no real aspirations, I feel like guys are VERY judgmental of me. It is very frustrating because I do not fit some cookie-cutter mold of where I should be at in my life. I don't own a home, nor am I close to it. I guess partly it's because a had a 3 year relationship that looked like it was going to be "the one," but things got ugly quick when he took a job to NYC, and sort of left me starting over from square 1 (we had the house, the boat, the camp, etc etc etc). I didn't think about it because at the time, I didn't have to think about it. I thought my life was going in a certain direction, and then I got thrown a curve ball. Now, I am making the best of starting to make a life for MYSELF - I just wish I could find a guy who appreciated the person I am, that I am outgoing, positive, have interests, and that despite being in school and being a bartender, I am a good person who has a lot to offer, and would certainly still make time to have fun and enjoy having an active social life.
It's been hard for me because I guess I don't "fit the mold." I went to college right out of high school, but got a degree that didn't do much for me in the career world. I ended up with a job in a fun marketing agency, but after they laid off a bunch of people during a tough financial time, I found myself bartending "temporarily" (1 year turned to 5 quick lol). I was making in 25 hours TRIPLE what I made in 40 at the desk job, had full benefits, and could take time off ANY time I needed it (didn't have to worry about having only so many hours, vacation time, etc). I guess I've gone off on a tangent lol, but I guess I wish men wouldn't be so judgmental of me not already being established in my career, and being a little non-conventional. I will be an RN in less than 3 years, I have a plan, I have goals, am financially stable, love to travel and despite studying, I am still social.
I guess I didn't have a point - just venting haha.
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No worries, I find this topic interesting. My thread was more for entertainment purposes, but I am always interested to see what other people's dating experiences have been like.
I am finding guys my own age (32) or around that seem to not have any interest in settling down. Also, for me it is frustrating because as someone who recently decided to go back to school to pursue another degree (nursing), and is bartending through school because the money is so good and you can take time off when you need it...it is VERY hard for me to find a guy that appreciates my decisions. They want some woman in a power suit who works 9-5 Monday through Friday and can take off every single weekend to Cape Cod or NYC or a Yankees game. I certainly plan to support myself, and while I would not necessarily want to date a guy who did the bare minimum at his job and had no real aspirations, I feel like guys are VERY judgmental of me. It is very frustrating because I do not fit some cookie-cutter mold of where I should be at in my life. I don't own a home, nor am I close to it. I guess partly it's because a had a 3 year relationship that looked like it was going to be "the one," but things got ugly quick when he took a job to NYC, and sort of left me starting over from square 1 (we had the house, the boat, the camp, etc etc etc). I didn't think about it because at the time, I didn't have to think about it. I thought my life was going in a certain direction, and then I got thrown a curve ball. Now, I am making the best of starting to make a life for MYSELF - I just wish I could find a guy who appreciated the person I am, that I am outgoing, positive, have interests, and that despite being in school and being a bartender, I am a good person who has a lot to offer, and would certainly still make time to have fun and enjoy having an active social life.
It's been hard for me because I guess I don't "fit the mold." I went to college right out of high school, but got a degree that didn't do much for me in the career world. I ended up with a job in a fun marketing agency, but after they laid off a bunch of people during a tough financial time, I found myself bartending "temporarily" (1 year turned to 5 quick lol). I was making in 25 hours TRIPLE what I made in 40 at the desk job, had full benefits, and could take time off ANY time I needed it (didn't have to worry about having only so many hours, vacation time, etc). I guess I've gone off on a tangent lol, but I guess I wish men wouldn't be so judgmental of me not already being established in my career, and being a little non-conventional. I will be an RN in less than 3 years, I have a plan, I have goals, am financially stable, love to travel and despite studying, I am still social.
I guess I didn't have a point - just venting haha.
I'm right there with you coming out of my 10 year marriage. I've been in school but have taken a slow road. I thought I was going to be married forever with a family. Yet here I am at 32 starting completely over. I don't own a home, my credit is crappy because we were irresponsible when we first got married and several years ago decided to repair it. The plan was to start with his since it was smaller and more recent. Ha! I got screwed there. Mine was never touched and now we're divorced. So yeah, it'll be a while before everything is restored but I'm stable, have a good job, will be back in school next semester and have a bright future.
I can't help my life circumstances. But in the end I'm okay with it. My lease is up in May (the apt I shared with my ex) and I'm soooo excited to find my own apt even though I'll be downgrading. I'm in an almost 1000 sq ft 1 bedroom apt now that is super nice (he helps me pay it since his name is on the lease). I'm sure I'll be in something half that size because I'm not willing to pay even close to what I pay now since my focus is school, still it's all exciting for me.
Hopefully my future guy will understand.0 -
I guess I've gone off on a tangent lol, but I guess I wish men wouldn't be so judgmental of me not already being established in my career, and being a little non-conventional.
it's your thread, you can vent, lol!
It's interesting to see where people's environments are so different. If you were in a gambling town like Shreveport you would be the norm. Many of the girls here work as bartenders while they go to school.0 -
It seems like this guy is definitely a non-native English speaker..whenever I get a message like that I try to figure out if they're foreign or just uneducated.
I like this idea for a thread of funny/lame opening gambits from the dating sites though!0 -
I don't think it's really that hard. Those type of messages are easy to spot and can be ignored rather quickly. The "hey sexy" messages are also easy to ignore. I cancelled my dating profile because there were too many thoughtful and promising messages and I felt like an *kitten* ignoring some of them. It's easy to fall for shiny ball syndrome on a dating site.This is the type of stuff that makes it more difficult for more reasonable guys like myself to get attention. It is exhausting to weed through the nonsense for women.
Oh and the funniest ones are the ones from much older guys looking for a "sugar baby".0 -
I don't think it's really that hard. Those type of messages are easy to spot and can be ignored rather quickly. The "hey sexy" messages are also easy to ignore. I cancelled my dating profile because there were too many thoughtful and promising messages and I felt like an *kitten* ignoring some of them. It's easy to fall for shiny ball syndrome on a dating site.This is the type of stuff that makes it more difficult for more reasonable guys like myself to get attention. It is exhausting to weed through the nonsense for women.
Oh and the funniest ones are the ones from much older guys looking for a "sugar baby".
Well hey sexy, how are you today? ;-) Jk
The sugar baby didn't quite work for you, eh? You have standards, and that's a great thing. Dating age appropriate is usually a good thing, as is not being overly materialistic.0 -
I don't think it's really that hard. Those type of messages are easy to spot and can be ignored rather quickly. The "hey sexy" messages are also easy to ignore. I cancelled my dating profile because there were too many thoughtful and promising messages and I felt like an *kitten* ignoring some of them. It's easy to fall for shiny ball syndrome on a dating site.This is the type of stuff that makes it more difficult for more reasonable guys like myself to get attention. It is exhausting to weed through the nonsense for women.
Oh and the funniest ones are the ones from much older guys looking for a "sugar baby".
Well hey sexy, how are you today? ;-) Jk
The sugar baby didn't quite work for you, eh? You have standards, and that's a great thing. Dating age appropriate is usually a good thing, as is not being overly materialistic.
I just wonder if these older guys actually get dates with girls in their 20s? There are definitely issues if someone is old enough to be my father or grandfather.0 -
Hopefully my future guy will understand.
Not only will he understand, lol, he will be so proud of you for how you pulled through this and made yourself even better.
WRT credit, let me encourage you: When my ex and I split, my credit was either 520 or 490 (I can't remember which was worse, mine or his). This was after a lifetime of having 800+ rating (Fair Issac, not the new "higher" credit score). I used to teach "get out of debt, rebuild your credit" classes, but I never had to deal with it myself before. Well, I knew I was doing all the right things but was still surprised when I went to buy my car a couple months ago to find out that my credit was back up over 800. 2 years of paying your bills on time and living within your means really works.0 -
I would NEVER consider dating someone twice my age, even 7-10yrs older than me is pushing it. Maybe I am picky. One of my best friends just turned 28 and her husband is 54...not my cup of tea by any means but they are a wonderful couple, and you forget their age difference a lot of the time. She's always telling me about one of her husbands friends that she thinks I'd like - then I realize they are probably around the same age, and I have to politely tell her that it's not for me. I sometimes forget his age and when he does something, or she tells me about something he did, I find myself saying "haha my Dad does the same thing!!" oops. LOL. My dad is 54. Can't help it! :laugh:0
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Tbh is "to be honest".What's "tbh"?
I know lots of people with "good education/degrees" but they never seem interested. Not sure why that is. The funny thing is, I wouldn't mind a more tradittional arrangement (where I take the bulk of the household duties and he take the builk of the earning/fixing) . Don't worry about not understanding my posts, lol. I know I'm unique, and not in a hurry to change.
Me too, Krissy, sorry for the threadjack
It's not so much your posts I don't understand (your point of view seems "normal" and "understandable"), but more the way the men you meet act. I would like to go in the brain of these people and understand how they work... Need to find some people like that.
What the ...? :laugh: Yeah if you meet people who think like that, they must be seriously judgemental.despite being in school and being a bartender
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I am a good person who has a lot to offer, and would certainly still make time to have fun and enjoy having an active social life.
I am outgoing, positive, have interests
I think that's great personally, it's never too late to do what you want to do - so more power to you.0 -
It's not so much your posts I don't understand (your point of view seems "normal" and "understandable"), but more the way the men you meet act.
Please know... I have a lot of horror stories.. but I also know a lot of great guys who just weren't compatible. That's why I'm always offering up the guys in my church group. They're wonderful, take great care of me and my son, and I would really like to see them settle down with nice women.
And most of the "jerks" are guys I dated in the first year of being single. Not only did I tend to attract men like my ex back then, but I knew very little about dating and would get all wrapped up in each one, which then left me ripe for being manipulated.0 -
I couldn't even power through the entire message.
Good God....And I think I remember seeing a "spell check" on the messaging part of Match??
Good luck, lady. I haven't seen many that were out for a real relationship/keepers.0 -
Man this thread is FUNNY especially being someone that totally sucks at online dating.Here is the email that I send most women.
First I introduce myself and say:
"My name is Gionni and I found your profile very interesting! I am new here and trying to meet new interesting people! Its hard to really tell if someone is fascinating just based on their profile so I hope we can start a conversion!
THEN I write about something I read in their profile like:
"My favorite actor/director is Woody Allen too. I just finished "Midnight in Paris" it definitely wasn't what I expected!"
What do you think? Terrible isn't it ? I tried everything but nothing works!!!!!!0 -
Love, love, love the giant rambling run-on sentences there. That's a keeper for sure!0
