Message I just received - if you need a laugh :)

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  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
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    Man this thread is FUNNY especially being someone that totally sucks at online dating.Here is the email that I send most women.

    First I introduce myself and say:


    "My name is Gionni and I found your profile very interesting! I am new here and trying to meet new interesting people! Its hard to really tell if someone is fascinating just based on their profile so I hope we can start a conversion!

    THEN I write about something I read in their profile like:

    "My favorite actor/director is Woody Allen too. I just finished "Midnight in Paris" it definitely wasn't what I expected!"


    What do you think? Terrible isn't it ? I tried everything but nothing works!!!!!!

    I'd answer you :flowerforyou:
  • krissypea79
    krissypea79 Posts: 362 Member
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    Man this thread is FUNNY especially being someone that totally sucks at online dating.Here is the email that I send most women.

    First I introduce myself and say:


    "My name is Gionni and I found your profile very interesting! I am new here and trying to meet new interesting people! Its hard to really tell if someone is fascinating just based on their profile so I hope we can start a conversion!

    THEN I write about something I read in their profile like:

    "My favorite actor/director is Woody Allen too. I just finished "Midnight in Paris" it definitely wasn't what I expected!"


    What do you think? Terrible isn't it ? I tried everything but nothing works!!!!!!

    No, it's not terrible. It's polite, respectful, nicely worded. At first I was going to say that it annoys me when guys send "canned" messages (I can tell them send the same message to everyone), but you said that you like to add something personal related to the woman. Good move. Half the time I can tell that the guy didn't bother to read my entire profile (if any!!!)
  • Gionni
    Gionni Posts: 77 Member
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    I used to write personal messages to each person but I got frustrated when they didn't reply (which they never do). So I write a "canned" opening and when a short personal message. That why I can deal with the rejection better :)
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
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    "My name is Gionni and I found your profile very interesting! I am new here and trying to meet new interesting people! Its hard to really tell if someone is fascinating just based on their profile so I hope we can start a conversion!

    I thought "interesting" was just another word for lame, lol

    Since your intro was obviously canned, I probably woudln't have even read so far as to even get to the personal part. Not trying to be vain, but I used to get so many "hey sexy" and canned messages I would hit delete immediately upon seeing the canned part. Maybe you could start with the personal stuff and then a canned closing?

    Just one (single) person's opinion :wink:
  • kit_katty
    kit_katty Posts: 994 Member
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    Man this thread is FUNNY especially being someone that totally sucks at online dating.Here is the email that I send most women.

    First I introduce myself and say:


    "My name is Gionni and I found your profile very interesting! I am new here and trying to meet new interesting people! Its hard to really tell if someone is fascinating just based on their profile so I hope we can start a conversion!

    THEN I write about something I read in their profile like:

    "My favorite actor/director is Woody Allen too. I just finished "Midnight in Paris" it definitely wasn't what I expected!"


    What do you think? Terrible isn't it ? I tried everything but nothing works!!!!!!

    I'd very likely reply! Just a quick comment though, you have 5 sentences and only one ends in a period. That many exclamation points just kinda rubbed me the wrong way. If I was getting jaded with online dating, that might be enough to put me off. Just some friendly feedback... :)
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
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    If your message is canned, it's dog poop.
    If it isn't canned but not long enough, it doesn't get the attention.
    If it isn't canned and is too long, it's creepy and you increase the risk of tripping on something plus you wasted your life.

    I think most of the girls in their 20s on this website are challenged intellectually. Seriously.

    I think I shall try Gionni's approach though. Or perhaps something else: I've read though that it's better to shoot in the dark a canned decent message to all the girl with 2-3 "holes" in the text where you insert some stuff she likes (better ROI, and if the girl likes you she'll reply anyway).
    Something similar to: "Hey I see you like [INSERT INTEREST1 HERE]. I must say I'm... etc etc"
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
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    "My name is Gionni and I found your profile very interesting! I am new here and trying to meet new interesting people! Its hard to really tell if someone is fascinating just based on their profile so I hope we can start a conversion!

    THEN I write about something I read in their profile like:

    "My favorite actor/director is Woody Allen too. I just finished "Midnight in Paris" it definitely wasn't what I expected!"


    What do you think? Terrible isn't it ? I tried everything but nothing works!!!!!!

    I like this, especially the 'hope we can start a conversation'!!

    I dont even care that its 'canned'. I think that its short enough to spark my interest, and I like the personal touch at the end :bigsmile: (Long, canned messages saying how beautiful you are and perfect for making a long and happy life and I think I love you already, are bad!! lol)

    Just one thing I would reword: where you say "I'm trying to meet some new interesting people" I would say "I'm looking for that special person". Everyone woman likes to think she's special (as does every man?) rather than one of many!!

    Good luck :flowerforyou:
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
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    If your message is canned, it's dog poop.
    If it isn't canned but not long enough, it doesn't get the attention.
    If it isn't canned and is too long, it's creepy and you increase the risk of tripping on something plus you wasted your life.

    :laugh: :laugh: you make me laugh Flam!! Until I started reading the guy comments on this forum, I always thought that (reasonably attractive, active) men (without fish or dog pictures!!....lol) had the pick of the crop on dating sites!! You've given me more of a balanced view :flowerforyou:
  • Gionni
    Gionni Posts: 77 Member
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    You guys are so nice! i wish the ladies online shared your opinions! BTW men on dating sites have it bad. I send 1000s of canned and personal emails and have only got a dozen back tops
  • j4nash
    j4nash Posts: 1,719 Member
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    If your message is canned, it's dog poop.
    If it isn't canned but not long enough, it doesn't get the attention.
    If it isn't canned and is too long, it's creepy and you increase the risk of tripping on something plus you wasted your life.

    I think most of the girls in their 20s on this website are challenged intellectually. Seriously.

    hahahhahaha
  • j4nash
    j4nash Posts: 1,719 Member
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    You guys are so nice! i wish the ladies online shared your opinions! BTW men on dating sites have it bad. I send 1000s of canned and personal emails and have only got a dozen back tops

    this is the funny part.

    "I want personalized e-mail." If the guy writes a long, nice e-mail but:

    isn't my type
    doesn't have a job
    isn't' my type
    isn't attractive
    isn't my type
    takes a picture of himself in the mirror
    isn't my type
    profile sucks
    isn't my type

    then you're not going to respond.

    The guy could write the sequel to the twilight series in an e-mail and he probably wouldn't get a response if he "isn't your type"

    Ladies......

    Quit being picky about the initial e-mail and give a guy a chance. If he sucks at writing in the second e-mail then move on.
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
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    Quit being picky about the initial e-mail and give a guy a chance.

    Hmmm, maybe women will stop being picky about the initial email once men stop being picky about the initial appearance :wink:

    maybe women will give a poor-email writer more of a chance once men give someone with a few extra pounds more of a chance...:bigsmile:
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
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    The guy could write the sequel to the twilight series in an e-mail and he probably wouldn't get a response if he "isn't your type"

    If he wrote the sequel to the twilight series...he DEFINITELY isn't my type, lol!

    I absolutely promise if I ever go back online dating sites I will, will, will, give every guy who actually asks me out a chance... :tongue:
  • j4nash
    j4nash Posts: 1,719 Member
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    Quit being picky about the initial e-mail and give a guy a chance.

    Hmmm, maybe women will stop being picky about the initial email once men stop being picky about the initial appearance :wink:

    maybe women will give a poor-email writer more of a chance once men give someone with a few extra pounds more of a chance...:bigsmile:

    haha, I didn't say that a poor e-mail writer should warrant a response. But if it is semi-canned response with all the dotted i's and crossed t's (and if you f that up on a computer you're definitely out) then maybe it's worth a response?
  • j4nash
    j4nash Posts: 1,719 Member
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    The guy could write the sequel to the twilight series in an e-mail and he probably wouldn't get a response if he "isn't your type"

    If he wrote the sequel to the twilight series...he DEFINITELY isn't my type, lol!

    I absolutely promise if I ever go back online dating sites I will, will, will, give every guy who actually asks me out a chance... :tongue:

    Lol, I'm not saying that. Just don't discredit a guy if you like his profile but he sent you a canned e-mail for the initial mail.

    Oh come on, you know you're dying to see what happens next! ;)
  • Gionni
    Gionni Posts: 77 Member
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    its hard to figure what a girls type is online. I only write if I fill some/all of the criteria. If i wrote nothing but personal emails I would TOTALLY give up on women 100% and maybe try an "alternative lifestyle. " Writing personal emails can be emotional especially the ones that talk about WHY your a perfect match. I figure that if a girl thinks I am her type it doesn't really matter what the initial email says because, if she is serious, she would at least want to give me a chance. I read an article that said the guys that are the most successful online are the ones that email a million women with a nice canned email (he called it the "cut and paste" method) and once a girl bite THEN seduce her with charm.
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
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    seduce her

    Exactly why I used to delete those canned messages. Well, that and also I work long hours and didn't physically have time to read through 30+ emails a day full of random stuff that doesn't apply to me. I don't want to be the one girl who bites out of a wide-cast-net for the next conquest.

    As much as women complain about not being able to find a good man, I'm really intrigued learning more about the male side of this coin.
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
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    its hard to figure what a girls type is online.

    everybody has different things they like and don't like... maybe you could think of some women in your life that are the kind of woman you'd want to settle down with and then see how you can be - and portray yourself (I say that because sometimes we portray ourselves as some other kind of person by accident)- as the kind of man they want.

    A man who is right for me is not going to be the kind of man that works for "most women." So if I tried to follow all the dating advice about game playing and such, and write my profile to attract "most men" and post pictures that would draw "most men," I would totally miss out on one who would be compatible for me because he would skim right past me looking for someone more unique.
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
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    I read an article that said the guys that are the most successful online are the ones that email a million women with a nice canned email (he called it the "cut and paste" method) and once a girl bite THEN seduce her with charm.
    Yeah pretty much this.

    Tbh* I'm not too sure what is going to happen if I date another woman from this kind of sites. The way most of them behave online makes that I am currently building a lot of resentment.
    All that resentment I build up against a faceless and indiscernible mass of "online women" (I hate "them") is probably going to be vomited on the first representative of the species that will attempt to communicate with me (she'll probably a nice girl, too, but she'll have to work twice as hard to succeed).

    Not that I am not exploring other avenues, into which I am more successful (i.e. bars/pubs/clubs).

    (*) To be honest
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
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    As much as women complain about not being able to find a good man, I'm really intrigued learning more about the male side of this coin.
    Simple.

    Exaggerating slightly: you never receive messages, you never get replies.
    You get bored, you switch to canned messages because whether you try to type more or not, the result is roughly the same (although canned messages are faster to send, so in half an hour of work on canned messages, you should end up with more responses as opposed to half an hour of specific message).
    Anyway, you end up meeting girls you don't give a monkey about and with who you feel no connection at all (Ah! This girl replied? So what does she say anyway? Hmmm ok... Guess I can still f*** her).
    You break their "hearts" (kinda). They say men are *kitten*, and they reply even less to messages, being even more strict with their criteria.
    And so on and so forth, year after year.
    After 100 years of this, a black hole of nothingness and desperation appears and the entire universe is dissolved.

    We've got to stop this now... Or else!