My Dating Tips!
Natx83
Posts: 1,298 Member
Alright gang, I haven noticed there have been a lot of people, guys and gals, that have been saying they have no idea about how to approach a member of the opposite sex or delving deeper and what the person expects out of a first date. This would be especially helpful for those of us that havent been so lucky to dive into dating world yet!
So I think this could be a good place to for everyone for all the Ladies and the gentlemen to post all the hot tips for the opposite sex to pick up on and take on board, no matter how simple or complex.
I'll give a bit of spin on how I see it in pretty simple terms :smokin:
My tips for the bros: Be confident, not cocky. No one likes an arrogant prick.
I know its pretty cliche to say to just be yourself, but if yourself is pretty bland, be you, but funnier. If you can a make a girl laugh, you are half way there, just so long as you have all your teeth and didnt dress like a sasquatch :laugh:
Which brings me to my next point, dress for the occasion. Not over the top, but something nice and make sure have decent shoes, I wish I had a dollar for everytime I've heard a girl comment on how important nice shoes are, this can even be a deal breaker for some woman.
Give her a compliment, something thats not perverse for gods sake. So no "Nice rack" or "how did you get that *kitten* in 'dem jeans girl". Something about the dress she is wearing, how her hair looks gorgeous or she smells beautiful. Dont dwell on it though, dont keep laying them on, some girls will be get emabarrassed from this and then after a while it just becomes creepy and she will just think you are saying it to get into her pants.
Talk about her! Listen to what she says, then when your done. Listen some more. Ask her questions about her, listen to her responses answer them with your reply about whatever she asked you then return the attention to her. Make her feel important and that you care.
Anyways Ill leave it there for now..
Tips for the Ladies :flowerforyou:
Show up, laugh at my stupid jokes, smell nice, wear a nice dress. Hold a conversation.
Job done:laugh:
Im all after feed back here so peeps feel free to add to what you think!
So I think this could be a good place to for everyone for all the Ladies and the gentlemen to post all the hot tips for the opposite sex to pick up on and take on board, no matter how simple or complex.
I'll give a bit of spin on how I see it in pretty simple terms :smokin:
My tips for the bros: Be confident, not cocky. No one likes an arrogant prick.
I know its pretty cliche to say to just be yourself, but if yourself is pretty bland, be you, but funnier. If you can a make a girl laugh, you are half way there, just so long as you have all your teeth and didnt dress like a sasquatch :laugh:
Which brings me to my next point, dress for the occasion. Not over the top, but something nice and make sure have decent shoes, I wish I had a dollar for everytime I've heard a girl comment on how important nice shoes are, this can even be a deal breaker for some woman.
Give her a compliment, something thats not perverse for gods sake. So no "Nice rack" or "how did you get that *kitten* in 'dem jeans girl". Something about the dress she is wearing, how her hair looks gorgeous or she smells beautiful. Dont dwell on it though, dont keep laying them on, some girls will be get emabarrassed from this and then after a while it just becomes creepy and she will just think you are saying it to get into her pants.
Talk about her! Listen to what she says, then when your done. Listen some more. Ask her questions about her, listen to her responses answer them with your reply about whatever she asked you then return the attention to her. Make her feel important and that you care.
Anyways Ill leave it there for now..
Tips for the Ladies :flowerforyou:
Show up, laugh at my stupid jokes, smell nice, wear a nice dress. Hold a conversation.
Job done:laugh:
Im all after feed back here so peeps feel free to add to what you think!
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bump :laugh:0
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Talk about her! Listen to what she says, then when your done. Listen some more. Ask her questions about her, listen to her responses answer them with your reply about whatever she asked you then return the attention to her. Make her feel important and that you care.
My ex-bf did not understand this at all :grumble: :laugh:0 -
Give her a compliment, something thats not perverse for gods sake. So no "how did you get that *kitten* in 'dem jeans girl".
No wonder.... I've been doing it wrong all these years. next thing you'll tell me is telling her to shake it like a polaroid picture is bad too.0 -
i think you hit it perfectly... another thing is not expect to get anything at the end of the date... i know some girls give a lot of the good girls bad names but for me if you ask me on a date im not kissing you nor sleeping with you at the end of the night... those are stuff you have to earn... i have had a lot of first dates that turned into last dates because the guy expected me to pay him back for the meal... screw that...0
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I wish I had a dollar for everytime I've heard a girl comment on how important nice shoes are, this can even be a deal breaker for some woman.
If the woman was THAT shallow, I wouldn't give her the time of day, let alone date her!0 -
Guys:
1) Be a gentleman.
2) Plan something original.
3) Let her own the talking. 70/30 rule.
4) Be polite with wait staff, etc.
5) Demonstrate you have a good relationship with the important women in your life (mother, daughter, etc).
Ladies:
1) Be confident
2) Fill your 70% of the conversation.
3) Don't talk past the next date (marriage, babies, meeting mom are all off limits)
4) Give him credit for his wins ( restaurant choice, the band, his idea that you walk a certain place, etc.)
5) If you like him, consider initiating the first kiss, even if it just one the cheek (don't leave him guessing).0 -
:laugh: Pretty accurate but, ...I am usually uncomfortable talking about myself that much initially or getting a lot of questions thrown at me (shy), so speak up men!!0
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I wish I had a dollar for everytime I've heard a girl comment on how important nice shoes are, this can even be a deal breaker for some woman.
If the woman was THAT shallow, I wouldn't give her the time of day, let alone date her!
Fair call. But I think about it. You're a girl and your sitting there waiting in a nice restaurant, the people around and dressed fairly nice.. lets call its smart casual attire. You've gone to a lot of trouble to like nice for this guy. Then. BOOM. your date walks in, wearing jeans and sneakers. FAIL.
You know what I mean, Im not saying you have to wear a particular brand of shoes, just dont wear your favourite pair of 2 yr old runners or something to a bar for casual drinks.0 -
:laugh: Pretty accurate but, ...I am usually uncomfortable talking about myself that much initially or getting a lot of questions thrown at me (shy), so speak up men!!
i agree i dont like to talk a lot because im so shy...0 -
:laugh: Pretty accurate but, ...I am usually uncomfortable talking about myself that much initially or getting a lot of questions thrown at me (shy), so speak up men!!
Agreed! I am not incredibly shy, but I like to hear the guy talk too, so I ask lots of questions, but I don't mind answering them.
Also, hate to say it, but clothes do matter. They don't have to be expensive, but wear a button up shirt instead of a tee-shirt. It's the little things.0 -
Talk about her! Listen to what she says, then when your done. Listen some more. Ask her questions about her, listen to her responses answer them with your reply about whatever she asked you then return the attention to her. Make her feel important and that you care.
My ex-bf did not understand this at all :grumble: :laugh:
Haha. This is where so many guys fail.
Especially on the first couple of dates this is important I think. If she is shy, well then hopefully the guy is confident enough to fill in the blanks and keep the ball rolling.0 -
:laugh: Pretty accurate but, ...I am usually uncomfortable talking about myself that much initially or getting a lot of questions thrown at me (shy), so speak up men!!
i agree i dont like to talk a lot because im so shy...
Yeah I guess this is where I dont have any problems, becuase I am quite confident and could hold a conversation with a brick wall I dont find shy girls to be much of an issue in regards to awkward silences :laugh: But I cant really comment on how the situation would pan out if the guy was shy and quiet type. One of the 2 has to take the reigns and keep things going.
I will talk for a while when asked a question, then take the conversation somewhere else and turn it into something again that she can answer or talk about. But girls... please, dont just give one word answers... :indifferent:0 -
wear a nice dress.
Guess I'm screwed since I hate dresses... :sad:0 -
Guys:
1) Be a gentleman.
2) Plan something original.
3) Let her own the talking. 70/30 rule.
4) Be polite with wait staff, etc.
5) Demonstrate you have a good relationship with the important women in your life (mother, daughter, etc).
Ladies:
1) Be confident
2) Fill your 70% of the conversation.
3) Don't talk past the next date (marriage, babies, meeting mom are all off limits)
4) Give him credit for his wins ( restaurant choice, the band, his idea that you walk a certain place, etc.)
5) If you like him, consider initiating the first kiss, even if it just one the cheek (don't leave him guessing).
Agreed on all counts!0 -
wear a nice dress.
Guess I'm screwed since I hate dresses... :sad:
Haha.. Im sure you can come up with something that looks good either way. I just said dresses cause thats what Im a fan of
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I wish I had a dollar for everytime I've heard a girl comment on how important nice shoes are, this can even be a deal breaker for some woman.
If the woman was THAT shallow, I wouldn't give her the time of day, let alone date her!
Fair call. But I think about it. You're a girl and your sitting there waiting in a nice restaurant, the people around and dressed fairly nice.. lets call its smart casual attire. You've gone to a lot of trouble to like nice for this guy. Then. BOOM. your date walks in, wearing jeans and sneakers. FAIL.
You know what I mean, Im not saying you have to wear a particular brand of shoes, just dont wear your favourite pair of 2 yr old runners or something to a bar for casual drinks.
I understand where you're coming from but when you have to dress up nice for work, it's quite nice to get a bit more casual outside.
So what you're saying is volley's are a no-no but Adidas are ok? 0 -
I wish I had a dollar for everytime I've heard a girl comment on how important nice shoes are, this can even be a deal breaker for some woman.
If the woman was THAT shallow, I wouldn't give her the time of day, let alone date her!
Fair call. But I think about it. You're a girl and your sitting there waiting in a nice restaurant, the people around and dressed fairly nice.. lets call its smart casual attire. You've gone to a lot of trouble to like nice for this guy. Then. BOOM. your date walks in, wearing jeans and sneakers. FAIL.
You know what I mean, Im not saying you have to wear a particular brand of shoes, just dont wear your favourite pair of 2 yr old runners or something to a bar for casual drinks.
I understand where you're coming from but when you have to dress up nice for work, it's quite nice to get a bit more casual outside.
So what you're saying is volley's are a no-no but Adidas are ok?
Depends on the girl, really. I'm all for casual. I wear sneakers everywhere - mainly because dress shoes mess with my knees and I hate dressing up. I also couldn't care less about fashion. Jeans and t-shirts ftw.0 -
I wish I had a dollar for everytime I've heard a girl comment on how important nice shoes are, this can even be a deal breaker for some woman.
If the woman was THAT shallow, I wouldn't give her the time of day, let alone date her!
Fair call. But I think about it. You're a girl and your sitting there waiting in a nice restaurant, the people around and dressed fairly nice.. lets call its smart casual attire. You've gone to a lot of trouble to like nice for this guy. Then. BOOM. your date walks in, wearing jeans and sneakers. FAIL.
You know what I mean, Im not saying you have to wear a particular brand of shoes, just dont wear your favourite pair of 2 yr old runners or something to a bar for casual drinks.
I understand where you're coming from but when you have to dress up nice for work, it's quite nice to get a bit more casual outside.
So what you're saying is volley's are a no-no but Adidas are ok?
Depends on the girl, really. I'm all for casual. I wear sneakers everywhere - mainly because dress shoes mess with my knees and I hate dressing up. I also couldn't care less about fashion. Jeans and t-shirts ftw.
And there is the rub. Do it because you care about them. Relish doing things for them.0 -
And there is the rub. Do it because you care about them. Relish doing things for them.
I have other ways of showing I care. Guess I need to go out feeling incredibly uncomfortable, not being and feeling myself just to get and hold onto a guy? I'm not going to pretend to be someone I'm not just to pick someone up. That's not how I roll.0 -
And there is the rub. Do it because you care about them. Relish doing things for them.
I have other ways of showing I care. Guess I need to go out feeling incredibly uncomfortable, not being and feeling myself just to get and hold onto a guy? I'm not going to pretend to be someone I'm not just to pick someone up. That's not how I roll.
Then it is important for you to set that standard early. For example, I want my lady naked in bed unless she has physical constraints. If that's an issue, then we know. Find your life path. Don't compromise.0 -
And there is the rub. Do it because you care about them. Relish doing things for them.
I have other ways of showing I care. Guess I need to go out feeling incredibly uncomfortable, not being and feeling myself just to get and hold onto a guy? I'm not going to pretend to be someone I'm not just to pick someone up. That's not how I roll.
Then it is important for you to set that standard early. For example, I want my lady naked in bed unless she has physical constraints. If that's an issue, then we know. Find your life path. Don't compromise.
Exactly. I guess I haven't really had that problem since I don't really go out, and I met my only two bfs online, but not on dating sites, so they knew very early on that I'm a ridiculously laid back, casual person who's not going to go out clubbing in a skimpy outfit. Just not how I am. And if you can't accept me for who I am, then why should I even waste my time on you, y'know?0 -
Ya I don't wanna spend the whole time talking about me.. I am attracted to a guy who can hold a conversation (which by definition is a two way street).0
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Ya I don't wanna spend the whole time talking about me.. I am attracted to a guy who can hold a conversation (which by definition is a two way street).
You missed the point, Im not talking about only "talking about her" but more so "making it about her". Theres a difference.0 -
I wish I had a dollar for everytime I've heard a girl comment on how important nice shoes are, this can even be a deal breaker for some woman.
If the woman was THAT shallow, I wouldn't give her the time of day, let alone date her!
Fair call. But I think about it. You're a girl and your sitting there waiting in a nice restaurant, the people around and dressed fairly nice.. lets call its smart casual attire. You've gone to a lot of trouble to like nice for this guy. Then. BOOM. your date walks in, wearing jeans and sneakers. FAIL.
You know what I mean, Im not saying you have to wear a particular brand of shoes, just dont wear your favourite pair of 2 yr old runners or something to a bar for casual drinks.
I understand where you're coming from but when you have to dress up nice for work, it's quite nice to get a bit more casual outside.
So what you're saying is volley's are a no-no but Adidas are ok?
What you talkinga about fool, you have heaps of nice shoes :laugh:
Pay not attention to the shoes I wear as Im the same. I wear dress shoes all day and wear nice casual shoes on dates. But yeah poodle, no volleys hahaha.0 -
And there is the rub. Do it because you care about them. Relish doing things for them.
I have other ways of showing I care. Guess I need to go out feeling incredibly uncomfortable, not being and feeling myself just to get and hold onto a guy? I'm not going to pretend to be someone I'm not just to pick someone up. That's not how I roll.
Then it is important for you to set that standard early. For example, I want my lady naked in bed unless she has physical constraints. If that's an issue, then we know. Find your life path. Don't compromise.
Exactly. I guess I haven't really had that problem since I don't really go out, and I met my only two bfs online, but not on dating sites, so they knew very early on that I'm a ridiculously laid back, casual person who's not going to go out clubbing in a skimpy outfit. Just not how I am. And if you can't accept me for who I am, then why should I even waste my time on you, y'know?
Yeah thats fair enough. But a girl, who wouldnt at get dressed up sometimes and wear something really nice occasionally wouldnt be for me either.0 -
Yeah thats fair enough. But a girl, who wouldnt at get dressed up sometimes and wear something really nice occasionally wouldnt be for me either.
wearing something nice =/= wearing a dress. You can look nice without wearing a dress or some skimpy clubbing crap. I will suffer and wear dressy shoes when necessary (and when I say suffer, I'm talking this usually results in severe leg cramps at night, so it is a true selfless act from me). I'm just more comfortable and more myself wearing jeans and t-shirts. That's all I'm saying! You guys were making it sound as if each and every date requires hours of hair, makeup and prom dresses...0 -
I'm a woman.... well, the last time I checked -- and I can't even begin to tell you what my last date (last week) wore on his feet. I could care less about shoes. If they are presentable and don't have holes in the toes, I'll never notice what you wear. However, this is the girl who pretty much wears sandals everywhere she goes. Also -- dress? Ain't gonna happen. I think dressing for the occasion is appropriate. Capris, nice shirt, Birks if I'm in AZ... I'm good to go. Don't go sloppy should be the rule. I do make sure my toes are done!
I'm sure someone has already covered this.... but I haven't had time to read all the posts.0 -
Yeah thats fair enough. But a girl, who wouldnt at get dressed up sometimes and wear something really nice occasionally wouldnt be for me either.
wearing something nice =/= wearing a dress. You can look nice without wearing a dress or some skimpy clubbing crap. I will suffer and wear dressy shoes when necessary (and when I say suffer, I'm talking this usually results in severe leg cramps at night, so it is a true selfless act from me). I'm just more comfortable and more myself wearing jeans and t-shirts. That's all I'm saying! You guys were making it sound as if each and every date requires hours of hair, makeup and prom dresses...
Nah not that dramatic, that's why I said sometimes and occasionally in my post above. Men are visual and whilst it doesn't have to be a dress cause that seriously depends on what your doing, but Im not going to lie as I would more receptive to a girl that looks like they've made a conscious effort to look nice.0 -
Not to turn this into a dress code thing, but are you all planning to get married in sweat pants or flannel underwear?0
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Not to turn this into a dress code thing, but are you all planning to get married in sweat pants or flannel underwear?
No, but I will probably do what several of my friends have done and wear shorts or capris under my wedding dress so I'm not as uncomfortable.0
