My Dating Tips!
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I always wore a dress on 1st dates.. the only time I didn't was with FL and only because we went out a bit later in the evening and for drinks/ pool.
I feel the guys appreciated it but I'm girly all the time so I enjoy it.
I still pick out my outfits very carefully (except now that our dates consist of moving crap to my new place) for dates with my Smiley. He loves me in heels, dresses, etc.
But yeah, there are women that hate dresses/ heels.. there's other ways of looking sexy like nice dressy jeans and a cute top. The point is, guys like women to be feminine. Femininity doesn't equal dresses and heels though. Be creative!
God I love dresses and heels. I got a new hot short dress for my b-day party and tonight I'm going to go look for some hot pink sexy shoes!!!
Okay back to topic.. I get distracted easily when it comes to clothes.0 -
Skirts are just as sexy as dresses, either way is fine. I just like the femininity of them. It's hot when a woman dresses like a woman, not in jeans and a t-shirt like a man.
I assume it's pretty much the same reason you don't want a guy to show up wearing a dress, even if he has great legs.
:laugh: :laugh: Yeah nice set of pins there bro, would look good in a slinky little black dress I saw at a department store the other day.
Yeah. Nah
Well a nice kilt can be sexy on a guy too but I would probably laugh if a first date showed up in one.
Especially if going commando :noway: Hahaha
Commando is the ONLY way a kilt is supposed to be worn by a man
This is true, but no one wants to see that shiz on a first date.... Or do they
:laugh: 0 -
I always wore a dress on 1st dates.. the only time I didn't was with FL and only because we went out a bit later in the evening and for drinks/ pool.
I feel the guys appreciated it but I'm girly all the time so I enjoy it.
I still pick out my outfits very carefully (except now that our dates consist of moving crap to my new place) for dates with my Smiley. He loves me in heels, dresses, etc.
But yeah, there are women that hate dresses/ heels.. there's other ways of looking sexy like nice dressy jeans and a cute top. The point is, guys like women to be feminine. Femininity doesn't equal dresses and heels though. Be creative!
God I love dresses and heels. I got a new hot short dress for my b-day party and tonight I'm going to go look for some hot pink sexy shoes!!!
Okay back to topic.. I get distracted easily when it comes to clothes.
Hahaha. Feminine for the win.
Did you want to mention any hot tips or some feed back on any of mine?0 -
I got a new hot short dress for my b-day party and tonight I'm going to go look for some hot pink sexy shoes!!!
Snap!! I love my pink shoes, I dont even know why, just do!! I even wear them with jeans :bigsmile:
yeah, back on topic.......ahem!0 -
My tips for the bros: Be confident, not cocky. No one likes an arrogant prick.
I know its pretty cliche to say to just be yourself, but if yourself is pretty bland, be you, but funnier. If you can a make a girl laugh, you are half way there, just so long as you have all your teeth and didnt dress like a sasquatch :laugh:
Which brings me to my next point, dress for the occasion. Not over the top, but something nice and make sure have decent shoes, I wish I had a dollar for everytime I've heard a girl comment on how important nice shoes are, this can even be a deal breaker for some woman.
Give her a compliment, something thats not perverse for gods sake. So no "Nice rack" or "how did you get that *kitten* in 'dem jeans girl". Something about the dress she is wearing, how her hair looks gorgeous or she smells beautiful. Dont dwell on it though, dont keep laying them on, some girls will be get emabarrassed from this and then after a while it just becomes creepy and she will just think you are saying it to get into her pants.
Talk about her! Listen to what she says, then when your done. Listen some more. Ask her questions about her, listen to her responses answer them with your reply about whatever she asked you then return the attention to her. Make her feel important and that you care.
Anyways Ill leave it there for now..
Tips for the Ladies :flowerforyou:
Show up, laugh at my stupid jokes, smell nice, wear a nice dress. Hold a conversation.
Job done:laugh:
Im all after feed back here so peeps feel free to add to what you think!
Confidence is key... but at the same time, don't be so confident you can't show emotion. For example, Smiley was confident but the boy couldn't stop blushing. It freaking melted me. Still makes me smile remembering that. There was this one guy I went out with who "seemed" confident but couldn't even look at me, he was so nervous. On the 2nd date he told me he soo nervous and attracted to me blah blah. But come on, can't look at my face, really???
Jokes are awesome for me. If you can make me laugh, you're already a bit there, especially if your sarcastic.. but not all women like this so you have to get a feel for it first. I have a dark sense of humor so a lot of offensive stuff makes me laugh.
You're right on with the compliments. Too raunchy= no good. Too many= I'm thinking you're a smooth talker who's trying to smooth talk his way into my dress. A simple "I love your smile" goes a long way. (Smiley said this to me)
GOD I CAN'T STOP BRAGGING ABOUT HIM.
The questions thing. YES YES YES. Ask me about whatever story I just shared. Ask me about my profile (if it's online), ask about my hobby, whatever.. show interest in ME... not just interest in a date.
For ladies I say:
Smile. I know how scary the 1st dates are. I would always have a pukey feeling right before.. and pretty much had anxiety attacks on the day of my date with Smiley but smiling goes a long way. It shows you're pleasant, happy, having a good time.
Dress to impress. Whatever that means to YOU. Bring it. Something you feel confident and sexy in. For me, it was dresses and heels with my hair curled and a bit of make up. For you it could be different but the point is, feel confident in whatever you're in.
Ask questions too. Get in the conversation. Don't expect him to be the only one talking.
What Allan said is good. Be polite to the waitstaff. Also don't forget to thank him for dinner/ drinks whatever if he paid. I sometimes would forget (because I was nervous) and so I'd send a thank you text later on.
I always ended my good 1st dates with hugs (except with Smiley).
Have a good time. Live in the moment.
Fun stuff!!!0 -
I agree with all of your stipulations, apart from the 70/30 chat time. I dont really expect to talk that much and I'm all for getting the guy to chat by asking him questions and showing an interest in him too!! So, I guess for me its more like 50/50.
It freaks me out when a guy won't talk about himself, just asks questions the whole time. It reminds me too much of men in my past who got me talking, then mirrored (making it seem like we had sooooo much in common) then used info about me to manipulate me.
Strict timelines also trigger feelings (fears?) of manipulation too...I feel there should be a natural ebb and flow. Some days it's 50/50, but some days I have more to talk about. Some days you do.0 -
Well, lots of women love shoes, so it's not that hard to buy a few extra pairs.
If the woman was THAT shallow, I wouldn't give her the time of day, let alone date her!I wish I had a dollar for everytime I've heard a girl comment on how important nice shoes are, this can even be a deal breaker for some woman.
Also they have on average a superior attention to detail to most men: dirty shoes, spot of facial hairs you missed (not shaved) under your nose or chin, etc. They will notice a lot of annoying things.
This is totally true. You can wear something nice and casual. Jeans/trainers/skirts/... everything exist in "fashion" and "practical" versions.
wearing something nice =/= wearing a dress. You can look nice without wearing a dress or some skimpy clubbing crap. I will suffer and wear dressy shoes when necessary (and when I say suffer, I'm talking this usually results in severe leg cramps at night, so it is a true selfless act from me). I'm just more comfortable and more myself wearing jeans and t-shirts. That's all I'm saying! You guys were making it sound as if each and every date requires hours of hair, makeup and prom dresses...Yeah thats fair enough. But a girl, who wouldnt at get dressed up sometimes and wear something really nice occasionally wouldnt be for me either.
Always go for "fashion" though on dates. "Practical" is good for painting your house or doing your garden but it doesn't impress.
FASHION
PRACTICAL
This is a lot more important than "the girl should accept that I hug her because I'm like that!" (I personally kiss the girl on both chicks). What you are doing is implanting in the mind of the girl the fact that you are a "touching" person (not sure what the exact word would be).I usually greet my date with a hug, I just let them know I'm a hugger and they don't have a choice. If it's a blind date, maybe a handshake is fine, but if you're met them before or have been emailing for a while I feel like I know them well enough for a hug. Just don't linger or be creepy about it.
If she doesn't refuse upfront (which she shouldn't because she want to appear cool for the date - she never knows what might happen, you might be the love of her life!), then she legitimately cannot refuse more physical contact later down the road. So you can bring her to the bar holding her back, pat her on the shoulder when you made a "nasty" joke while apologizing,... etc. and it won't feel awkward because you've already established the first physical contact way before (and she won't think you're a perv, this is just the way you are: a "touching" person).
I swear this is one of the most important tips this one. And it is compulsory for kissing on the first date! You CANNOT dive in for a kiss if you haven't escalated the physical contact with the girl (well you can, but it is difficult).
The other important tip is the one mentioned by natx that you should talk to the girl about her. Boring, I know, but that's how it is... Although I genuinely enjoy listening to people, and don't like to talk too much about myself so that works for me.
The way to do this is:
- Don't just ask questions but instead...
- Relate, relate, relate. Try to put yourself in her shoes, ask questions about how what she is telling you went, how did she feel about it etc. Don't simply reply: "Oh! Yeah, I've done better I've done X!". You're not here to impress, you're here to relate.
Jeans can be sexy. Although, it really depends on the overall outfit. On average a skirt is still sexier, and a lot of men are "leg" men (not @ss or boobs). A good jean is better than a bad skirt. But a good skirt is better than a good jean IMPO.
The dress is an interesting point. I didnt realise so many men would take notice of that! Why specifically a dress?? And why not a skirt and top? Is it a legs thing?I have a thing for dresses too, if a girl shows up to a first date wearing a dress she has already scored serious points. Sorry ladies, there's nothing sexy about jeans, sneakers, and loose fitting tops.
And why dont you find jeans sexy?? Jeans can make a woman's *kitten* look really sexy!! Or have I got that wrong?? lol
(I prefer skirts and tops to dress personally)
I think there is not one answer here, just dress with what you feel comfortable wearing and hope that you guys share the same taste (but you will look relaxed AND good in what you like to wear, so the whole "men/women should dress with X" is bollocks - just dress attentively, to impress and in what you wear "naturally"/relaxed).0 -
What you are doing is implanting in the mind of the girl the fact that you are a "touching" person (not sure what the exact word would be).
If she doesn't refuse upfront (which she shouldn't because she want to appear cool for the date - she never knows what might happen, you might be the love of her life!), then she legitimately cannot refuse more physical contact later down the road. So you can bring her to the bar holding her back, pat her on the shoulder when you made a "nasty" joke while apologizing,... etc. and it won't feel awkward because you've already established the first physical contact way before (and she won't think you're a perv, this is just the way you are: a "touching" person).
I swear this is one of the most important tips this one. And it is compulsory for kissing on the first date! You CANNOT dive in for a kiss if you haven't escalated the physical contact with the girl
Wow, Florion, that is almost word for word off a PUA site a guy friend told me to read after I became single.
Which is exactly why I absolutely WILL make him de-escalate physical contact if he came on strong in the beginning (and I accepted it wondering if he's "the one") and then I discover I don’t like him enough to want his paws all over me. The nice guys will understand. The pervs will feel entitled because "she legitimately cannot refuse more physical contact later."0 -
I've seen this before, where have I seen it?0
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Skirts are just as sexy as dresses, either way is fine. I just like the femininity of them. It's hot when a woman dresses like a woman, not in jeans and a t-shirt like a man.
I assume it's pretty much the same reason you don't want a guy to show up wearing a dress, even if he has great legs.
:laugh: :laugh: Yeah nice set of pins there bro, would look good in a slinky little black dress I saw at a department store the other day.
Yeah. Nah
Well a nice kilt can be sexy on a guy too but I would probably laugh if a first date showed up in one.
Especially if going commando :noway: Hahaha
Commando is the ONLY way a kilt is supposed to be worn by a man
This is true, but no one wants to see that shiz on a first date.... Or do they :laugh:
I would be amused and impressed if the guy showed up in a kilt for a first date. That alone would almost guarantee a second date.0 -
Talk about her! Listen to what she says, then when your done. Listen some more. Ask her questions about her, listen to her responses answer them with your reply about whatever she asked you then return the attention to her. Make her feel important and that you care.
My ex-bf did not understand this at all :grumble: :laugh:
Good thing I do
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Skirts are just as sexy as dresses, either way is fine. I just like the femininity of them. It's hot when a woman dresses like a woman, not in jeans and a t-shirt like a man.
I assume it's pretty much the same reason you don't want a guy to show up wearing a dress, even if he has great legs.
:laugh: :laugh: Yeah nice set of pins there bro, would look good in a slinky little black dress I saw at a department store the other day.
Yeah. Nah
Well a nice kilt can be sexy on a guy too but I would probably laugh if a first date showed up in one.
Especially if going commando :noway: Hahaha
Commando is the ONLY way a kilt is supposed to be worn by a man
This is true, but no one wants to see that shiz on a first date.... Or do they :laugh:
I would be amused and impressed if the guy showed up in a kilt for a first date. That alone would almost guarantee a second date.
I would be amused and scared if a guy showed up in kilt for first date....lol0 -
Alot of these tips are good to keep in mind, but interesting how the smallest thing is perceived differently from person to person.....especiallly it seems how to dress....I just dress so I feel confident and that I feel i look good, and then of course the activity and the weather influences what to wear
guys seem to have it much tougher than the lady..........who would have thought?0 -
Talk about her! Listen to what she says, then when your done. Listen some more. Ask her questions about her, listen to her responses answer them with your reply about whatever she asked you then return the attention to her. Make her feel important and that you care.
My ex-bf did not understand this at all :grumble: :laugh:
Good thing I do
Kudos to you :flowerforyou:0 -
I agree with all of your stipulations, apart from the 70/30 chat time. I dont really expect to talk that much and I'm all for getting the guy to chat by asking him questions and showing an interest in him too!! So, I guess for me its more like 50/50.
It freaks me out when a guy won't talk about himself, just asks questions the whole time. It reminds me too much of men in my past who got me talking, then mirrored (making it seem like we had sooooo much in common) then used info about me to manipulate me.
Strict timelines also trigger feelings (fears?) of manipulation too...I feel there should be a natural ebb and flow. Some days it's 50/50, but some days I have more to talk about. Some days you do.
Obviously the statement I made was the generalisation and Allan mentioned 70/30 which you said worries you. Just curious to how quickly you would become annoyed if the percentages were reversed?0 -
Why are you saying a dress or skimpy clubbing crap.
Ok, after this response I give up because no one seems to understand me at all on here. I have a different mentality to most people, and I guess none of you get me. Maybe that's why I have sh*tty luck with people...
I'm not saying a dress is skimpy clubbing crap. I did not word it that way. I merely said I don't care to wear either of them. God. I live in a college town where girls walk around half naked all the time, especially when they go out.0 -
Why are you saying a dress or skimpy clubbing crap.
Ok, after this response I give up because no one seems to understand me at all on here. I have a different mentality to most people, and I guess none of you get me. Maybe that's why I have sh*tty luck with people...
I'm not saying a dress is skimpy clubbing crap. I did not word it that way. I merely said I don't care to wear either of them. God. I live in a college town where girls walk around half naked all the time, especially when they go out.
That's the whole point of having an open forum like this, so people TRY to understand the POV of someone else. Dont take it personally, everyone is different and sometimes words are misread and misconstrued. :flowerforyou:0 -
Why are you saying a dress or skimpy clubbing crap.
Ok, after this response I give up because no one seems to understand me at all on here. I have a different mentality to most people, and I guess none of you get me. Maybe that's why I have sh*tty luck with people...
I'm not saying a dress is skimpy clubbing crap. I did not word it that way. I merely said I don't care to wear either of them. God. I live in a college town where girls walk around half naked all the time, especially when they go out.
That's the whole point of having an open forum like this, so people TRY to understand the POV of someone else. Dont take it personally, everyone is different and sometimes words are misread and misconstrued. :flowerforyou:
Yes, but it's better when people don't come across as "I'm right, you're wrong" like they have been. Maybe I'm just way overly tired (I haven't slept well in like a week), since that usually makes me kinda *****y.0 -
Why are you saying a dress or skimpy clubbing crap.
Ok, after this response I give up because no one seems to understand me at all on here. I have a different mentality to most people, and I guess none of you get me. Maybe that's why I have sh*tty luck with people...
I'm not saying a dress is skimpy clubbing crap. I did not word it that way. I merely said I don't care to wear either of them. God. I live in a college town where girls walk around half naked all the time, especially when they go out.
That's the whole point of having an open forum like this, so people TRY to understand the POV of someone else. Dont take it personally, everyone is different and sometimes words are misread and misconstrued. :flowerforyou:
Yes, but it's better when people don't come across as "I'm right, you're wrong" like they have been. Maybe I'm just way overly tired (I haven't slept well in like a week), since that usually makes me kinda *****y.
yeah, a different time, a different day, a different mood, we can all read posts in a different way. Like I said, its just a forum with a variety of opinions. Some people more tactful than others. Some more dogmatic, or self rightous. A good mix I think? Just as long as you dont take things personally, its a great forum. I've learnt a lot from being here. Hope you get some rest soon :flowerforyou:0 -
FloriAn (but it's kinda pronounced Florion, so that's alright... this time!).
Wow, Florion, that is almost word for word off a PUA site a guy friend told me to read after I became single.What you are doing is implanting in the mind of the girl the fact that you are a "touching" person (not sure what the exact word would be).
[...]
I swear this is one of the most important tips this one. And it is compulsory for kissing on the first date! You CANNOT dive in for a kiss if you haven't escalated the physical contact with the girl
Which is exactly why I absolutely WILL make him de-escalate physical contact if he came on strong in the beginning (and I accepted it wondering if he's "the one") and then I discover I don’t like him enough to want his paws all over me. The nice guys will understand. The pervs will feel entitled because "she legitimately cannot refuse more physical contact later."
Now, really? That's weird that this sounds like a PUA tip. :laugh: NOT. I guess you now know from where I get a lot of my tips then... But I add my extra layer of processing and understanding.
Yeah, definitely not saying that you should accept to be "groped" or even "have sex with the guy" just because he hugged you at the start! (I'm a "nice guy" - I hope - so I would probably understand, but normally you can tell before anyway depending on how "responsive" the girl is).
And the guy who had physical contact in the beginning might think later: ok, she seems boring and I actually don't care about her... So I'll give up with this one (but at least, he still put the first bricks in place just in case he liked the girl, which happened not to be the case this time).0
