My Dating Tips!
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Alright gang, I haven noticed there have been a lot of people, guys and gals, that have been saying they have no idea about how to approach a member of the opposite sex or delving deeper and what the person expects out of a first date. This would be especially helpful for those of us that havent been so lucky to dive into dating world yet!
So I think this could be a good place to for everyone for all the Ladies and the gentlemen to post all the hot tips for the opposite sex to pick up on and take on board, no matter how simple or complex.
I'll give a bit of spin on how I see it in pretty simple terms :smokin:
My tips for the bros: Be confident, not cocky. No one likes an arrogant prick.
I know its pretty cliche to say to just be yourself, but if yourself is pretty bland, be you, but funnier. If you can a make a girl laugh, you are half way there, just so long as you have all your teeth and didnt dress like a sasquatch :laugh:
Which brings me to my next point, dress for the occasion. Not over the top, but something nice and make sure have decent shoes, I wish I had a dollar for everytime I've heard a girl comment on how important nice shoes are, this can even be a deal breaker for some woman.
Give her a compliment, something thats not perverse for gods sake. So no "Nice rack" or "how did you get that *kitten* in 'dem jeans girl". Something about the dress she is wearing, how her hair looks gorgeous or she smells beautiful. Dont dwell on it though, dont keep laying them on, some girls will be get emabarrassed from this and then after a while it just becomes creepy and she will just think you are saying it to get into her pants.
Talk about her! Listen to what she says, then when your done. Listen some more. Ask her questions about her, listen to her responses answer them with your reply about whatever she asked you then return the attention to her. Make her feel important and that you care.
Anyways Ill leave it there for now..
Tips for the Ladies :flowerforyou:
Show up, laugh at my stupid jokes, smell nice, wear a nice dress. Hold a conversation.
Job done:laugh:
Im all after feed back here so peeps feel free to add to what you think!
i like these. yes guys please get the word out to the rest of your manpeople how important it is to dress like you give a crap.
i'm usually living in some yoga pants and tee and generally looking like a ragamuffin since i work from home and go to the gym twice a day sometimes. so as a way to balance that out, i like looking nice when i go out, especially on dates.
it's a huge let down when i've spent 60-90 minutes getting my outfit right, doing my nails,doing my hair etc and a dude shows up wearing old jeans, a tshirt with an old stain on it and ratty sneakers. Really?!? sorry but clothes with old stains on them is immediate,y going to make me question your overall hygiene and there's no way i'm going to want to kiss a guy if in the back of my mind i'm questioning his hygiene :laugh:0 -
Not to turn this into a dress code thing, but are you all planning to get married in sweat pants or flannel underwear?
Hahaha.
Yeah let's get back on topic
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Yeah let's get back on topic
Sorry, worn out and tired from dealing with 4 year olds all day and little sleep the past few nights :flowerforyou:0 -
Tips for the Ladies :flowerforyou:
Show up, laugh at my stupid jokes, smell nice, wear a nice dress. Hold a conversation.
Job done:laugh:
That's it? Easy Peezy!0 -
it's a huge let down when i've spent 60-90 minutes getting my outfit right, doing my nails,doing my hair etc and a dude shows up wearing old jeans, a tshirt with an old stain on it and ratty sneakers.
...
and there's no way i'm going to want to kiss a guy if in the back of my mind i'm questioning his hygiene :laugh:
I know! Even going "casual" for me is still "dressy casual" and it really bothers me that since I've moved to shreveport everyone is SO casual!! It's embarrassing to be blinged out and the guy is looking raggedy. Especially when I've already asked about "dressing up" and he still shows up looking like it's beach time, not fine dinnertime. Especially when I took an hour or two that I could have been doing something else (like playing with my son) straightening my hair and getting ready.
I will say, though, after the first date I've noticed the guy's appearance is in direct proportion to how much he likes me. If subsequent dates are still dressed way down, I know not to bank on the relationship, no matter how much I like the guy. He'll put on a button-down shirt for the girl he really likes if he knows she likes to dress up.
And this:You've gone to a lot of trouble to like nice for this guy. Then. BOOM. your date walks in, wearing jeans and sneakers. FAIL.
YES! Epic FAIL! I *am* one of those girls shallow enough to care. Last weekend it was a rare treat to go out with someone who was as into looking good out on the town as I am. We totally rocked it. Even when we ended up at Circle K, lol!0 -
Tips for the Ladies :flowerforyou:
Show up, laugh at my stupid jokes, smell nice, wear a nice dress. Hold a conversation.
Job done:laugh:
That's it? Easy Peezy!
Yeah Im usually happy with just showing up... but thought I should elaborate a little :laugh:
If I wanted to be really picky I would say be a brunette also but that's just being ridiculous haha.
Personaly I just want a girl to try and make the same amount of effort conversationally as me and for her to not act like she's doing me a favour to be there with me. A good tip like was said before that for the lady to give away some sort of sign either verbally or physically (like a touch to guys hands eg) to let me know that she is having a nice time/enjoying the company. So many times do girls give nothing away and wonder why the guys dont call them etc is amazing. As guys will sometimes back off as they think the girl isnt interested, when in fact she is but she just didnt do anything to show it :laugh:0 -
Yeah Im usually happy with just showing up... but thought I should elaborate a little :laugh:
But you didn't even say "show up on TIME" lol!
If all I gotta do is show up looking good and touch the guy's arm to let him know I'm having fun then I'm golden.0 -
Yeah Im usually happy with just showing up... but thought I should elaborate a little :laugh:
But you didn't even say "show up on TIME" lol!
If all I gotta do is show up looking good and touch the guy's arm to let him know I'm having fun then I'm golden.
YES! How could I forget that! This is a personal gripe of mine, I cant stand being late, I prefer other people to not be either haha. 15 minutes late is accpetable but anything longer than that you need to send a text or something
Yeah as far as what I expect from a girl to what I expect from myself is far less. Maybe why I had so many dates last year! Now Im just over it :laugh:0 -
another note... please dont talk about past relationships, religion, politics, and for me sex on the first date... those are topics that need to be talked about on a later date :]0
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Nice topic Nat! :flowerforyou:
I agree with all of your stipulations, apart from the 70/30 chat time. I dont really expect to talk that much and I'm all for getting the guy to chat by asking him questions and showing an interest in him too!! So, I guess for me its more like 50/50.
But yeah, the most import thing is to SHOW AN INTEREST in the person. I've walked away from a date before thinking he knows nothing about me! And that just tells me he isnt interested! (which he probably wasnt but hey ho....lol)
Regarding clothes, absolutely agree both parties should make an effort. I once met a guy that had unironed shorts and a t-shirt on. FAIL!! I mean, if you cant iron your clothes on a first date, by date 3 you aren't even going to wash them......urgh!!
I have worn jeans though, with a nice feminine top - are jeans a fail?? Dresses are a bit OTT for a Weds night in a pub, me thinks??
I would add a tip to guys:
*If you like her, buy the first drink!!! Always offer, at least! There is a dispute on this (Florian....lol), but I think most women read this as a good signal.
*Be a gentleman!! - Wait outside the meeting point for her! Open the door! Go to the bar first! I'm not saying pull out chairs or stand up when she goes to the bathroom, but just the first impression makes a huge difference.......
FIRST IMPRESSIONS COUNT!
Other than that, be yourself :bigsmile:0 -
Hey! Nah jeans aren't a fail! I just like dresses so I said that
I don't really think the 70/30 was me but I guess I'm just tying to get the point across that you shouldn't just blurt out your life story and talk about yourself, of course answer anything the other person asks but I always try and make it back to being about her and making her feel as if I'm really interested. Hasn't failed me yet..... Though I'm still single.. Go figure :laugh:
Good point about first impressions too, nothing wrong with being a gentlemen. Most men would buy the first drink I think. If a guy had just paid for dinner first though, I think it's a really nice for the lady to offer to buy the guy a drink 0 -
Good point about first impressions too, nothing wrong with being a gentlemen. Most men would buy the first drink I think. If a guy had just paid for dinner first though, I think it's a really nice for the lady to offer to buy the guy a drink
OMG I seriously only meant buy the first drink!! I would buy the second, and so on. I know some women like the guy to pay for the whole date, but I wouldnt even expect dinner to be paid for. I would offter to pay my way, always! Its just something about that first drink that gives me a sense of pride/reassurance/hope in the guy..........makes a big difference to me anyhow :flowerforyou:0 -
Hmmmm since Ive never actually been on a date I'll have to take these things in mind lol0
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Ugh .. if I have to talk 70% of the time I wouldn't be very happy.0
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Yeah thats fair enough. But a girl, who wouldnt at get dressed up sometimes and wear something really nice occasionally wouldnt be for me either.
wearing something nice =/= wearing a dress. You can look nice without wearing a dress or some skimpy clubbing crap. I will suffer and wear dressy shoes when necessary (and when I say suffer, I'm talking this usually results in severe leg cramps at night, so it is a true selfless act from me). I'm just more comfortable and more myself wearing jeans and t-shirts. That's all I'm saying! You guys were making it sound as if each and every date requires hours of hair, makeup and prom dresses...
Why are you saying a dress or skimpy clubbing crap. Where I live it is already in the 90s. A dress is a nice casual cool thing to wear. Mine are usually lose but not baggy and come just above the knee and I will wear nice ballet flats or sandals with them. A dress takes a lot less effort on my part as it is one piece and looks put together with one pair of earings or necklace and decent pair of shoes (shoes do not have to be heals).
I think you should dress for the occasion though. The only dates I have been on recently have been to sporting events so usually I am in jeans/shorts (but not jorts), a nice cotton top, and sandals while my date has been in jeans and a decent shirt(usually not a t-shirt but not a button up either) and trainers. I don't expect a guy to wear nice leather shoes to a ball game.0 -
I have a thing for dresses too, if a girl shows up to a first date wearing a dress she has already scored serious points. Sorry ladies, there's nothing sexy about jeans, sneakers, and loose fitting tops.
Being on time is huge for me. If you show up 10-15 minutes late without so much as a text, I will either not be there or I will already be slightly annoyed with you.
If you go out for dinner, the guy should pay. This is assuming the guy asked the girl out and chose the place. Girls, at least offer to pay for something, but let the guy pay if he insists, don't make a big deal out of it. Girls, if you choose the place and it's a really nice place you should probably try to pick up part of the bill. Also, if you're not planning on seeing the guy again don't let him pay for the entire bill, that's just rude.
If you are picking someone up in your car, clean out the trash. It doesn't have to be spotless, but when you have trash everywhere is shows you're not putting in much of an effort.
As far as conversation goes, keep it light and flirtatious. Don't talk about ex's, death, money, or sex (usually).
Smile
Laugh at each other's jokes even if they're not that funny, it will help ease some tension.
I usually greet my date with a hug, I just let them know I'm a hugger and they don't have a choice. If it's a blind date, maybe a handshake is fine, but if you're met them before or have been emailing for a while I feel like I know them well enough for a hug. Just don't linger or be creepy about it.0 -
I usually greet my date with a hug, I just let them know I'm a hugger and they don't have a choice. If it's a blind date, maybe a handshake is fine, but if you're met them before or have been emailing for a while I feel like I know them well enough for a hug. Just don't linger or be creepy about it.
Thats a really good point Roadie: THE GREETING! I always greet my dates with a kiss on the cheek. I do love hugging, but I dont expect a lot of guys would feel comfortable doing that so dont really go in for a hug. But yeah, bonus point if he does, cos I'm a bit of a huggy bear too :laugh:0 -
I have a thing for dresses too, if a girl shows up to a first date wearing a dress she has already scored serious points. Sorry ladies, there's nothing sexy about jeans, sneakers, and loose fitting tops.
The dress is an interesting point. I didnt realise so many men would take notice of that! Why specifically a dress?? And why not a skirt and top? Is it a legs thing?
And why dont you find jeans sexy?? Jeans can make a woman's *kitten* look really sexy!! Or have I got that wrong?? lol0 -
Why are you saying a dress or skimpy clubbing crap. Where I live it is already in the 90s. A dress is a nice casual cool thing to wear. Mine are usually lose but not baggy and come just above the knee and I will wear nice ballet flats or sandals with them. A dress takes a lot less effort on my part as it is one piece and looks put together with one pair of earings or necklace and decent pair of shoes (shoes do not have to be heals).
I think you should dress for the occasion though. The only dates I have been on recently have been to sporting events so usually I am in jeans/shorts (but not jorts), a nice cotton top, and sandals while my date has been in jeans and a decent shirt(usually not a t-shirt but not a button up either) and trainers. I don't expect a guy to wear nice leather shoes to a ball game.
Agreed!! A dress is no big deal in this era. I think I spent 10 years just wearing trousers, but now the dress/skirt is back in fashion on a casual level, as well as a glam one. :bigsmile:0 -
Why are you saying a dress or skimpy clubbing crap. Where I live it is already in the 90s. A dress is a nice casual cool thing to wear. Mine are usually lose but not baggy and come just above the knee and I will wear nice ballet flats or sandals with them. A dress takes a lot less effort on my part as it is one piece and looks put together with one pair of earings or necklace and decent pair of shoes (shoes do not have to be heals).
I think you should dress for the occasion though. The only dates I have been on recently have been to sporting events so usually I am in jeans/shorts (but not jorts), a nice cotton top, and sandals while my date has been in jeans and a decent shirt(usually not a t-shirt but not a button up either) and trainers. I don't expect a guy to wear nice leather shoes to a ball game.
Agreed!! A dress is no big deal in this era. I think I spent 10 years just wearing trousers, but now the dress/skirt is back in fashion on a casual level, as well as a glam one. :bigsmile:
Definitely same here. Now that summer is coming, it's so easy to throw on a fun sundress! If you don't like your arms, you can wear them with a cardigan, or find dresses with sleeves. I have to agree that they're easier than picking a shirt and jeans. The dress is ready to go!0 -
I have a thing for dresses too, if a girl shows up to a first date wearing a dress she has already scored serious points. Sorry ladies, there's nothing sexy about jeans, sneakers, and loose fitting tops.
The dress is an interesting point. I didnt realise so many men would take notice of that! Why specifically a dress?? And why not a skirt and top? Is it a legs thing?
And why dont you find jeans sexy?? Jeans can make a woman's *kitten* look really sexy!! Or have I got that wrong?? lol
I love dresses on girls, I think it's just cause its really feminine I guess. Sun dresses are awesome too, I love summer for that exact reason haha. Dresses can be fun, sexy, casual. I don't mind a nice pair of legs but that's not the reason, I'm more of a *kitten* and nice hair guy. Lol. Yeah. Hair. I said it.
I greet most of girl friends with a kiss on the cheek, meeting a date would be no different I guess. Good chance for her to smell the epic after shave I have on lol.
Now there's another tip! Don't use old spice or your favourite rexona dudes! Put on something awesome. I'm sure any girl you know will be able to tell you her favourite cologne on a guy.0 -
I think you should dress for the occasion though. The only dates I have been on recently have been to sporting events so usually I am in jeans/shorts (but not jorts), a nice cotton top, and sandals while my date has been in jeans and a decent shirt(usually not a t-shirt but not a button up either) and trainers. I don't expect a guy to wear nice leather shoes to a ball game.
I agree with this. Overdressing can be just as bad as underdrerssing depending on the plans.0 -
And why dont you find jeans sexy?? Jeans can make a woman's *kitten* look really sexy!! Or have I got that wrong?? lol
This is exactly why you will never find me complaining about jeans.
... unless of course we are going to a place that I had to donate a kidney to be able to afford.0 -
Skirts are just as sexy as dresses, either way is fine. I just like the femininity of them. It's hot when a woman dresses like a woman, not in jeans and a t-shirt like a man.I have a thing for dresses too, if a girl shows up to a first date wearing a dress she has already scored serious points. Sorry ladies, there's nothing sexy about jeans, sneakers, and loose fitting tops.
The dress is an interesting point. I didnt realise so many men would take notice of that! Why specifically a dress?? And why not a skirt and top? Is it a legs thing?
And why dont you find jeans sexy?? Jeans can make a woman's *kitten* look really sexy!! Or have I got that wrong?? lol
I assume it's pretty much the same reason you don't want a guy to show up wearing a dress, even if he has great legs.0 -
Skirts are just as sexy as dresses, either way is fine. I just like the femininity of them. It's hot when a woman dresses like a woman, not in jeans and a t-shirt like a man.I have a thing for dresses too, if a girl shows up to a first date wearing a dress she has already scored serious points. Sorry ladies, there's nothing sexy about jeans, sneakers, and loose fitting tops.
The dress is an interesting point. I didnt realise so many men would take notice of that! Why specifically a dress?? And why not a skirt and top? Is it a legs thing?
And why dont you find jeans sexy?? Jeans can make a woman's *kitten* look really sexy!! Or have I got that wrong?? lol
I assume it's pretty much the same reason you don't want a guy to show up wearing a dress, even if he has great legs.
:laugh: :laugh: Yeah nice set of pins there bro, would look good in a slinky little black dress I saw at a department store the other day.
Yeah. Nah0 -
Skirts are just as sexy as dresses, either way is fine. I just like the femininity of them. It's hot when a woman dresses like a woman, not in jeans and a t-shirt like a man.
I assume it's pretty much the same reason you don't want a guy to show up wearing a dress, even if he has great legs.
:laugh: :laugh: Yeah nice set of pins there bro, would look good in a slinky little black dress I saw at a department store the other day.
Yeah. Nah
Well a nice kilt can be sexy on a guy too but I would probably laugh if a first date showed up in one.0 -
Skirts are just as sexy as dresses, either way is fine. I just like the femininity of them. It's hot when a woman dresses like a woman, not in jeans and a t-shirt like a man.
I assume it's pretty much the same reason you don't want a guy to show up wearing a dress, even if he has great legs.
:laugh: :laugh: Yeah nice set of pins there bro, would look good in a slinky little black dress I saw at a department store the other day.
Yeah. Nah
Well a nice kilt can be sexy on a guy too but I would probably laugh if a first date showed up in one.
Especially if going commando :noway: Hahaha0 -
Skirts are just as sexy as dresses, either way is fine. I just like the femininity of them. It's hot when a woman dresses like a woman, not in jeans and a t-shirt like a man.
I assume it's pretty much the same reason you don't want a guy to show up wearing a dress, even if he has great legs.
:laugh: :laugh: Yeah nice set of pins there bro, would look good in a slinky little black dress I saw at a department store the other day.
Yeah. Nah
Well a nice kilt can be sexy on a guy too but I would probably laugh if a first date showed up in one.
Especially if going commando :noway: Hahaha
Commando is the ONLY way a kilt is supposed to be worn by a man 0 -
Ya I don't wanna spend the whole time talking about me.. I am attracted to a guy who can hold a conversation (which by definition is a two way street).
You missed the point, Im not talking about only "talking about her" but more so "making it about her". Theres a difference.
No I didn't miss the point hun. Just believe this is one of the major faux pas of the male gender,0 -
Ya I don't wanna spend the whole time talking about me.. I am attracted to a guy who can hold a conversation (which by definition is a two way street).
You missed the point, Im not talking about only "talking about her" but more so "making it about her". Theres a difference.
No I didn't miss the point hun. Just believe this is one of the major faux pas of the male gender,
Which part is the faux pas?0
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