My Dating Tips!
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And there is the rub. Do it because you care about them. Relish doing things for them.
I have other ways of showing I care. Guess I need to go out feeling incredibly uncomfortable, not being and feeling myself just to get and hold onto a guy? I'm not going to pretend to be someone I'm not just to pick someone up. That's not how I roll.
Then it is important for you to set that standard early. For example, I want my lady naked in bed unless she has physical constraints. If that's an issue, then we know. Find your life path. Don't compromise.
Exactly. I guess I haven't really had that problem since I don't really go out, and I met my only two bfs online, but not on dating sites, so they knew very early on that I'm a ridiculously laid back, casual person who's not going to go out clubbing in a skimpy outfit. Just not how I am. And if you can't accept me for who I am, then why should I even waste my time on you, y'know?0 -
Ya I don't wanna spend the whole time talking about me.. I am attracted to a guy who can hold a conversation (which by definition is a two way street).0
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Ya I don't wanna spend the whole time talking about me.. I am attracted to a guy who can hold a conversation (which by definition is a two way street).
You missed the point, Im not talking about only "talking about her" but more so "making it about her". Theres a difference.0 -
I wish I had a dollar for everytime I've heard a girl comment on how important nice shoes are, this can even be a deal breaker for some woman.
If the woman was THAT shallow, I wouldn't give her the time of day, let alone date her!
Fair call. But I think about it. You're a girl and your sitting there waiting in a nice restaurant, the people around and dressed fairly nice.. lets call its smart casual attire. You've gone to a lot of trouble to like nice for this guy. Then. BOOM. your date walks in, wearing jeans and sneakers. FAIL.
You know what I mean, Im not saying you have to wear a particular brand of shoes, just dont wear your favourite pair of 2 yr old runners or something to a bar for casual drinks.
I understand where you're coming from but when you have to dress up nice for work, it's quite nice to get a bit more casual outside.
So what you're saying is volley's are a no-no but Adidas are ok?
What you talkinga about fool, you have heaps of nice shoes :laugh:
Pay not attention to the shoes I wear as Im the same. I wear dress shoes all day and wear nice casual shoes on dates. But yeah poodle, no volleys hahaha.0 -
And there is the rub. Do it because you care about them. Relish doing things for them.
I have other ways of showing I care. Guess I need to go out feeling incredibly uncomfortable, not being and feeling myself just to get and hold onto a guy? I'm not going to pretend to be someone I'm not just to pick someone up. That's not how I roll.
Then it is important for you to set that standard early. For example, I want my lady naked in bed unless she has physical constraints. If that's an issue, then we know. Find your life path. Don't compromise.
Exactly. I guess I haven't really had that problem since I don't really go out, and I met my only two bfs online, but not on dating sites, so they knew very early on that I'm a ridiculously laid back, casual person who's not going to go out clubbing in a skimpy outfit. Just not how I am. And if you can't accept me for who I am, then why should I even waste my time on you, y'know?
Yeah thats fair enough. But a girl, who wouldnt at get dressed up sometimes and wear something really nice occasionally wouldnt be for me either.0 -
Yeah thats fair enough. But a girl, who wouldnt at get dressed up sometimes and wear something really nice occasionally wouldnt be for me either.
wearing something nice =/= wearing a dress. You can look nice without wearing a dress or some skimpy clubbing crap. I will suffer and wear dressy shoes when necessary (and when I say suffer, I'm talking this usually results in severe leg cramps at night, so it is a true selfless act from me). I'm just more comfortable and more myself wearing jeans and t-shirts. That's all I'm saying! You guys were making it sound as if each and every date requires hours of hair, makeup and prom dresses...0 -
I'm a woman.... well, the last time I checked -- and I can't even begin to tell you what my last date (last week) wore on his feet. I could care less about shoes. If they are presentable and don't have holes in the toes, I'll never notice what you wear. However, this is the girl who pretty much wears sandals everywhere she goes. Also -- dress? Ain't gonna happen. I think dressing for the occasion is appropriate. Capris, nice shirt, Birks if I'm in AZ... I'm good to go. Don't go sloppy should be the rule. I do make sure my toes are done!
I'm sure someone has already covered this.... but I haven't had time to read all the posts.0 -
Yeah thats fair enough. But a girl, who wouldnt at get dressed up sometimes and wear something really nice occasionally wouldnt be for me either.
wearing something nice =/= wearing a dress. You can look nice without wearing a dress or some skimpy clubbing crap. I will suffer and wear dressy shoes when necessary (and when I say suffer, I'm talking this usually results in severe leg cramps at night, so it is a true selfless act from me). I'm just more comfortable and more myself wearing jeans and t-shirts. That's all I'm saying! You guys were making it sound as if each and every date requires hours of hair, makeup and prom dresses...
Nah not that dramatic, that's why I said sometimes and occasionally in my post above. Men are visual and whilst it doesn't have to be a dress cause that seriously depends on what your doing, but Im not going to lie as I would more receptive to a girl that looks like they've made a conscious effort to look nice.0 -
Not to turn this into a dress code thing, but are you all planning to get married in sweat pants or flannel underwear?0
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Not to turn this into a dress code thing, but are you all planning to get married in sweat pants or flannel underwear?
No, but I will probably do what several of my friends have done and wear shorts or capris under my wedding dress so I'm not as uncomfortable.0 -
Alright gang, I haven noticed there have been a lot of people, guys and gals, that have been saying they have no idea about how to approach a member of the opposite sex or delving deeper and what the person expects out of a first date. This would be especially helpful for those of us that havent been so lucky to dive into dating world yet!
So I think this could be a good place to for everyone for all the Ladies and the gentlemen to post all the hot tips for the opposite sex to pick up on and take on board, no matter how simple or complex.
I'll give a bit of spin on how I see it in pretty simple terms :smokin:
My tips for the bros: Be confident, not cocky. No one likes an arrogant prick.
I know its pretty cliche to say to just be yourself, but if yourself is pretty bland, be you, but funnier. If you can a make a girl laugh, you are half way there, just so long as you have all your teeth and didnt dress like a sasquatch :laugh:
Which brings me to my next point, dress for the occasion. Not over the top, but something nice and make sure have decent shoes, I wish I had a dollar for everytime I've heard a girl comment on how important nice shoes are, this can even be a deal breaker for some woman.
Give her a compliment, something thats not perverse for gods sake. So no "Nice rack" or "how did you get that *kitten* in 'dem jeans girl". Something about the dress she is wearing, how her hair looks gorgeous or she smells beautiful. Dont dwell on it though, dont keep laying them on, some girls will be get emabarrassed from this and then after a while it just becomes creepy and she will just think you are saying it to get into her pants.
Talk about her! Listen to what she says, then when your done. Listen some more. Ask her questions about her, listen to her responses answer them with your reply about whatever she asked you then return the attention to her. Make her feel important and that you care.
Anyways Ill leave it there for now..
Tips for the Ladies :flowerforyou:
Show up, laugh at my stupid jokes, smell nice, wear a nice dress. Hold a conversation.
Job done:laugh:
Im all after feed back here so peeps feel free to add to what you think!
i like these. yes guys please get the word out to the rest of your manpeople how important it is to dress like you give a crap.
i'm usually living in some yoga pants and tee and generally looking like a ragamuffin since i work from home and go to the gym twice a day sometimes. so as a way to balance that out, i like looking nice when i go out, especially on dates.
it's a huge let down when i've spent 60-90 minutes getting my outfit right, doing my nails,doing my hair etc and a dude shows up wearing old jeans, a tshirt with an old stain on it and ratty sneakers. Really?!? sorry but clothes with old stains on them is immediate,y going to make me question your overall hygiene and there's no way i'm going to want to kiss a guy if in the back of my mind i'm questioning his hygiene :laugh:0 -
Not to turn this into a dress code thing, but are you all planning to get married in sweat pants or flannel underwear?
Hahaha.
Yeah let's get back on topic
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Yeah let's get back on topic
Sorry, worn out and tired from dealing with 4 year olds all day and little sleep the past few nights :flowerforyou:0 -
Tips for the Ladies :flowerforyou:
Show up, laugh at my stupid jokes, smell nice, wear a nice dress. Hold a conversation.
Job done:laugh:
That's it? Easy Peezy!0 -
it's a huge let down when i've spent 60-90 minutes getting my outfit right, doing my nails,doing my hair etc and a dude shows up wearing old jeans, a tshirt with an old stain on it and ratty sneakers.
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and there's no way i'm going to want to kiss a guy if in the back of my mind i'm questioning his hygiene :laugh:
I know! Even going "casual" for me is still "dressy casual" and it really bothers me that since I've moved to shreveport everyone is SO casual!! It's embarrassing to be blinged out and the guy is looking raggedy. Especially when I've already asked about "dressing up" and he still shows up looking like it's beach time, not fine dinnertime. Especially when I took an hour or two that I could have been doing something else (like playing with my son) straightening my hair and getting ready.
I will say, though, after the first date I've noticed the guy's appearance is in direct proportion to how much he likes me. If subsequent dates are still dressed way down, I know not to bank on the relationship, no matter how much I like the guy. He'll put on a button-down shirt for the girl he really likes if he knows she likes to dress up.
And this:You've gone to a lot of trouble to like nice for this guy. Then. BOOM. your date walks in, wearing jeans and sneakers. FAIL.
YES! Epic FAIL! I *am* one of those girls shallow enough to care. Last weekend it was a rare treat to go out with someone who was as into looking good out on the town as I am. We totally rocked it. Even when we ended up at Circle K, lol!0 -
Tips for the Ladies :flowerforyou:
Show up, laugh at my stupid jokes, smell nice, wear a nice dress. Hold a conversation.
Job done:laugh:
That's it? Easy Peezy!
Yeah Im usually happy with just showing up... but thought I should elaborate a little :laugh:
If I wanted to be really picky I would say be a brunette also but that's just being ridiculous haha.
Personaly I just want a girl to try and make the same amount of effort conversationally as me and for her to not act like she's doing me a favour to be there with me. A good tip like was said before that for the lady to give away some sort of sign either verbally or physically (like a touch to guys hands eg) to let me know that she is having a nice time/enjoying the company. So many times do girls give nothing away and wonder why the guys dont call them etc is amazing. As guys will sometimes back off as they think the girl isnt interested, when in fact she is but she just didnt do anything to show it :laugh:0 -
Yeah Im usually happy with just showing up... but thought I should elaborate a little :laugh:
But you didn't even say "show up on TIME" lol!
If all I gotta do is show up looking good and touch the guy's arm to let him know I'm having fun then I'm golden.0 -
Yeah Im usually happy with just showing up... but thought I should elaborate a little :laugh:
But you didn't even say "show up on TIME" lol!
If all I gotta do is show up looking good and touch the guy's arm to let him know I'm having fun then I'm golden.
YES! How could I forget that! This is a personal gripe of mine, I cant stand being late, I prefer other people to not be either haha. 15 minutes late is accpetable but anything longer than that you need to send a text or something
Yeah as far as what I expect from a girl to what I expect from myself is far less. Maybe why I had so many dates last year! Now Im just over it :laugh:0 -
another note... please dont talk about past relationships, religion, politics, and for me sex on the first date... those are topics that need to be talked about on a later date :]0
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Nice topic Nat! :flowerforyou:
I agree with all of your stipulations, apart from the 70/30 chat time. I dont really expect to talk that much and I'm all for getting the guy to chat by asking him questions and showing an interest in him too!! So, I guess for me its more like 50/50.
But yeah, the most import thing is to SHOW AN INTEREST in the person. I've walked away from a date before thinking he knows nothing about me! And that just tells me he isnt interested! (which he probably wasnt but hey ho....lol)
Regarding clothes, absolutely agree both parties should make an effort. I once met a guy that had unironed shorts and a t-shirt on. FAIL!! I mean, if you cant iron your clothes on a first date, by date 3 you aren't even going to wash them......urgh!!
I have worn jeans though, with a nice feminine top - are jeans a fail?? Dresses are a bit OTT for a Weds night in a pub, me thinks??
I would add a tip to guys:
*If you like her, buy the first drink!!! Always offer, at least! There is a dispute on this (Florian....lol), but I think most women read this as a good signal.
*Be a gentleman!! - Wait outside the meeting point for her! Open the door! Go to the bar first! I'm not saying pull out chairs or stand up when she goes to the bathroom, but just the first impression makes a huge difference.......
FIRST IMPRESSIONS COUNT!
Other than that, be yourself :bigsmile:0
