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  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    Christine doesn't need counseling. She just needs experience. And the right man. A lot of people are shy and go through the "I could never approach anyone" stage. But when the time and the man are right, it will shock her to see what she is capable of doing.

    Yeah I think this is more my situation.
    I'm not really as shy as a lot of you might believe or from what I write. With people I know, I'm a huge goofball. Once I'm introduced to someone, I'm so nice and want to get to know them. I'm preparing for my registered nurse exam, so clearly nurses have to be outgoing and friendly, which I am. I work in customer service right now and I love talking to all the different people. I just think when it's my personal emotions on the line, it's scary. It's scary to put your heart on the line and know it could be broke - I'm sure I'm not the only one that thinks that. I'm sure that as you date more, it gets easier but for someone inexperienced like me, it's scary.

    I don't think I need counseling. Just because I have expectations about how a man acts in a relationship doesn't mean anything except that I know what I want in a man. And just because I get upset when I put myself out there and get burned means something is wrong with me? I don't think so.
    Listen,I am not being mean or heartless but a few weeks ago she started a thread where a guy on the third date kissed her on the cheek and she freaked out and literally ran away...I am sorry but that is not a normal action and if we are going to engage in honest discussions those things need to be said.
    Pretending otherwise is not helpful to anyone.

    Now that I look back, I am pretty sure that I freaked out because I didn't like him like that and it was uncomfortable. If it was someone I liked, I'm sure it would have been different.

    It is scary, but you need to put yourself out on the line sometimes. You need to let go of the feeling it's going to devastate you to be hurt. It will, for a few days. But you brush yourself off and move on. You'll be happy again.

    This,have been shot down a couple of times recently and while it sucks you do eventually learn to not let it end you.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
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    besides that, even if the you approach a stranger and they shoot you down, it's not like it's anything personal since they dont even know you.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,064 Member
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    I wish I was brave in that kind of sense. Your bravery probably helped in in your situation, but I am sure she is not out of your league!!! :) I could never approach a guy though, so I will have to settle for looking at him!
    I know how you feel, there is a girl at my gym whom I have a super mega crush on. I usually have a little bit of confidence and I don't find it too hard to approach people, but when I see her part of me just wants to run the other way. I'll probably never approach her, I assume she's out of my league even though I know better than that.

    There is something about the gym that is soooo weird to me regarding approaching people. Everyone's busy at their machine, with headphones in. You would feel weird approaching someone, having them to see you but not hear you and take their headphones out...this is all I thought about at the gym today lol, just forgot to respond until now.

    I think there are certain situations where even confident guys get nervous and I think the gym isn't the best place to meet people.
    Continue on as you see fit,it is your life and choices but understand the consequences of your mindset and be happy to accept that.

    I think that I'll eventually meet someone great! I have a lot of expectations but I think that's good because it'll weed out the bad ones. If you date someone for a while and you go slow and they accept it, it shows they like you for you and not anything else.
    It is scary, but you need to put yourself out on the line sometimes. You need to let go of the feeling it's going to devastate you to be hurt. It will, for a few days. But you brush yourself off and move on. You'll be happy again.

    In theory yes but the fact that I still can remember all those times where a guy rejected me enough to recount them all to you guys scare me!
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
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    If you approach him and he's not interested, you get hurt.

    If you date and he dumps you, you get hurt.

    If you have a relationship and you sleep together and he forgets your birthday, you get hurt.

    If your love isnt reciprocated, you get hurt.

    If you get married and he stops calling you darling, you get hurt.

    If you grow old and he dies first, you get hurt.


    At the end of the day Christine, you should get used to this hurt thing, cos it happens a lot in life !! Sorry!! :flowerforyou:
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
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    if you're dating someone for two years and have no idea if you want to spend your life with that person...maybe you shouldn't be with them in general?

    ita
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
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    "Being a creature unlike any other is really an attitude, a sense of confidence and radiance that permeates your being from head to toe. It's the way you smile (you light up the room), pause in between sentences (you don't babble on out of nervousness), listen (attentively), look (demurely, never stare), breathe (slowly), stand (straight) and walk (briskly, with your shoulders back). When a relationship doesn't work out, you brush away a tear so that it doesn't smudge your makeup and you move on!"

    love this!

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