What should be done to these kids?
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I fear for my son attending public school, especially because I was in a private school with NO busses for 10 years. :ohwell:
This plus the Indy (Carmel, IN) incident with the high school age boys sodomizing a teamate on the bus and all being found 'not guilty' is terrifying.0 -
That's the point.I would come down hard on my own children if they acted like that. But, I know they wouldn't. That's not the way they were raised. As a matter of fact, I would be very surprised and disappointed if they didn't come to the aid of the person being bullied. I can almost guarantee that one of my girls would have been coming to the aid of the person being bullied. I don't like bullies and my daughters don't either.
You are a good parent if they would never do that.
Not all parents are good, some children are spoiled, some are beaten, abused, live in a violent house-hold.
They act that way because they don't know any better.
When my youngest was a junior in HS, some thugs at her school were picking on a "nerd" and told him they were going to beat him up after school. My daughter left her car in the school parking lot and walked with the "nerd" home. Luckily, they left him alone. I don't know whether or not it was because of her, her friendship with some of the football players or because they kn ew who I was.
I wasn't happy that she did it, but I was proud nonetheless. I know I would rather take a beating than walk away and she has a lot of me in her.0 -
I feel like it's important to draw a distinction between what happened to this woman and one bully picking on a smaller kid. The mob mentality that went into this kind of abuse of someone who should ostensibly have their respect (or some illusion of it) seems different and more disturbing to me. They're both not ok, but this crossed a few more lines for me.0
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I think one thing that is different from bullies today as opposed to bullies of yesteryear is that kids AREN'T allowed to duke it out and stand up to the bullies. Even when I was in school, if you were in a fight, even if you got suckerpunched and never got a hit in, you were automatically suspended. No exceptions.
I'm gonna raise my kid to be an anti-bullying juggernaut and tell him to cream any kid who is being a jerk.
That is soo true and so sad. I was bullied when I was in school and of course you're told go to the teachers, your parents, etc. Yeah, well, that wasn't an option because if you told an adult then the bullies would bully you even MORE for "tattling". It was a small school so everybody knew if you told.
I had two bullies on the bus when I was going to school (it was brothers, both younger than me. One two years younger and the other five years younger) and they would ALWAYS lip off to everybody older than them, the bus driver, older students, etc. They would swear at everybody. They were literally seconds away from being kicked off the bus. Sadly, the bus driver talked to the parents and the principal and nothing happened. The boys still continued to be extremely disrespectful.
The one time the older one was the first on the bus. The driver was in the school talking to the principal. There was only five kids or so on the bus at this time (in total...very small school) and my 8 year old cousin was trying to get on the bus and he kept closing the bus doors in her face. Open the doors, wait until she walks forward then close them on her face again. I tried to catch the doors open and force them open but he closed the bus doors on my hand and wouldn't open the doors. I had to wait until the driver got back out to let my hand free. I got on that bus and I threw my bag on the seat and I stormed to the back ready to start a beat down on this stupid kid but then instead of punching him I just knocked his hat off his head and gave him a warning. When we got to my place the driver asked what happened and such. And he even said it was a good thing I didn't touch him because I would be the one getting in trouble (even though he would have no problem with me beating that kid) but he would whine to his parents and then they'd talk to the principal and whatnot and I would be the one in trouble for it.
Honestly...if my kids had to deal with crap like I did, I would tell them feel free to give the kid a beating. I would not be mad at my child if they stood up for themselves by punching another kid. I really wouldn't. I would be proud of them for standing up to a bully.
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I wasn't even a quarter through the video and I was seeing red. I couldn't even watch it all. I wanted to beat those children with a belt. There's not even words to describe how I felt while watching that. The bus driver would have the right to kick those children off the bus and that's exactly what I would if if I was the driver. And if my child was involved in that...there'd be hell to pay. There'd be a public and personal apology to the lady. They'd be grounded for as long as I feel fit. I'd ask teachers to give my kid extra homework (or else I'd give them some of my own creations) and there'd be volunteering anywhere that they can, etc, etc.0 -
I saw the clip on TV last night. Made me sick to my stomach.I think one thing that is different from bullies today as opposed to bullies of yesteryear is that kids AREN'T allowed to duke it out and stand up to the bullies. Even when I was in school, if you were in a fight, even if you got suckerpunched and never got a hit in, you were automatically suspended. No exceptions.
I'm gonna raise my kid to be an anti-bullying juggernaut and tell him to cream any kid who is being a jerk.
It wasn't that much different when I was growing up. When I was a Junior in HS this kid came around and messed with my buddy and I every day at lunchtime. We would sit on the school steps and eat oursack lunch together. This A sshole would walk by us every day and say "Fck you" to my buddy. On a good day. Other days he would stick around and ridicule Chris. I don't know what their history was, but I was a new kid and never said anything.
Bothered me to see Chris take this everyday, though. Couldn't take it anymore though. One day he walked by us, going up the steps, and said "Fck you" to Chris. I stood up and said something to him. He started back down the stairs. I charged up them. Caught him with a right. Ended up kicking the crap out of him.
Boy's Dean heard it, came out of his office. In the end, we were both suspended. I knew I wqas in for it. Went home. Called my Dad and told him I was suspended. He was home in 20 minutes. I was sure he was going to kill me. Asked me what happened. I told him. He told me to get in the car. We drove back to school
Dad hauled me into the Dean's office. It was 42 years ago but I still remember what he told the Dean.
"Michael told me what happened and why. We'll keep him from school for the next three days, but we are not going to punish him for his actions. I would have done the same thing in the same situation."
Then he told me, "Let's go."
We went home. He never said another word about it. What I thought was sure to be the death of me turned out to be a three day vacation. My Dad did not like Bullies.0 -
Is this the same video where they were teasing the woman about her weight and said she was so ugly that her kids should kill themselves...apparently not knowing that her son killed himself 10 years ago?
My initial response is to suggest that their limbs be surgically removed, slowly, one at a time without anesthesia.
Perhaps a more rational response would be to force them to clean bed pans in a hospice facility under close supervision for a few months. It doesn't really directly relate to their offense, but it might hit some tiny spark of empathy or sympathy for other people in them.
This - yes!0 -
I think one thing that is different from bullies today as opposed to bullies of yesteryear is that kids AREN'T allowed to duke it out and stand up to the bullies. Even when I was in school, if you were in a fight, even if you got suckerpunched and never got a hit in, you were automatically suspended. No exceptions.
I'm gonna raise my kid to be an anti-bullying juggernaut and tell him to cream any kid who is being a jerk.
I agree with this. Its a shame that kids are not allowed to defend themselves. My son was being bullied at school and the boy started a fight with my son. My son didnt fight back, he had tried to pull the boy off of him and such but he never threw a punch or anything at him and guess who got suspended?? You got it...the bully AND my son!! Wth?? And it was obvious whos fault it was because this particular boy had been a big problem for others and my son all yr! We tell our kids to not fight...to turn the other cheek...BUT....if someone punches you or starts to beat you up? You had BETTER fight them back and do a good job!! LOL They need to love thereselves enough to stand up against bullies and fight back. Obviously my son didnt do this but thats what we try to tell them. Bullies know that especially in school they can get away with fighting someone and most likely not get hurt too awfully bad because they know that most of the time the other child wont fight back.
As for the video, I would def have them do TONS of community work and Im not talking about picking up trash on the side of the road or anything..I would make them work at food kitchens, make them work in nursing homes, make them go and volunteer at a homeless shelter, etc for a long long time.
Now...I may get jumped on this but oh well lol, its the way I feel:) But I think that SOME of this stuff and the increase of it stems from society as a whole. We are living in a world of technology and go go go mentality. Parents are having to work 2 and 3 jobs just to pay the bills, kids are engrossed in the tv games and the computer and cell phones. How many kids still have a family that sits down as a family in the evening for supper? How many families are there that every evening is filled with the whole family sitting together in the living room talking? or playing a game of soccer or volleyball as a family outside? How many hrs of one on one time does kids get these days with their parents thats not in the middle of something or going and doing something? We are no longer in touch with our kids, we wake them up, they go off to school, gone for 8 hrs, they get home and go straight to their rooms with the door shut with their computers and tv games and we may see them come out to go get a drink, food, etc but thats it. Now I am not saying ALL of the problem kids are like this because they arent, but I feel that some or maybe even most are! And its not really the parents fault either because this day and age its so hard to be able to have time with our kids!! Parents HAVE to work long hrs in order to pay for the bills, sometimes they have to be gone, but it still doesnt take away the fact that it is impacting our kids. Our kids NEED us! They are not going to learn empathy at school or from a computer or tv game, they learn how to socialize and have feelings for other peoples situations from us!!0 -
OK, I hope I don't hijack the thread, but I just needed to point out that my wife watched the video this morning with mixed feelings. Obviously, she thought the behavior was awful, but she was not appalled, or enraged, or even that surprised.
She just looked at it and said well, maybe people will get some idea of what my daily life is like as an elementary school teacher.0 -
I always understand the emotions behind responses, and, as someone who like so many others, experienced bullying as a kid in school, this is definitely one of my hot button issues. As imperfect as the responses are from school officials, I am grateful that at least there is a public recognition that bullying should not be tolerated, rather than just seeing it dismissed as just 'normal part of growing up".
In this day and age, however, there are some real dangers associated with the "stand up for yourself and beat the crap out of them" approach. The first, obviously, is that not every child has the physical stature or skill to do so. The second is that, even if successful, standing up to a bully yourself carries the risk of a more deadly retaliation.
I also wanted to add that I think the response from parents who children engage in this behavior should be more along the lines of making the kids--especially if they are younger--take accountability for their actions--public apologies, meaningful public service, loss of privileges--as opposed to physical punishment. I can't remember the details and I'm too lazy to go back and look at all the comments, but I thought some people had some really good and effective things they would do if a child of theirs got caught up in something like this.0 -
I think one thing that is different from bullies today as opposed to bullies of yesteryear is that kids AREN'T allowed to duke it out and stand up to the bullies. Even when I was in school, if you were in a fight, even if you got suckerpunched and never got a hit in, you were automatically suspended. No exceptions.
I'm gonna raise my kid to be an anti-bullying juggernaut and tell him to cream any kid who is being a jerk.
I agree with this. Its a shame that kids are not allowed to defend themselves. My son was being bullied at school and the boy started a fight with my son. My son didnt fight back, he had tried to pull the boy off of him and such but he never threw a punch or anything at him and guess who got suspended?? You got it...the bully AND my son!! Wth?? And it was obvious whos fault it was because this particular boy had been a big problem for others and my son all yr! We tell our kids to not fight...to turn the other cheek...BUT....if someone punches you or starts to beat you up? You had BETTER fight them back and do a good job!! LOL They need to love thereselves enough to stand up against bullies and fight back. Obviously my son didnt do this but thats what we try to tell them. Bullies know that especially in school they can get away with fighting someone and most likely not get hurt too awfully bad because they know that most of the time the other child wont fight back.
As for the video, I would def have them do TONS of community work and Im not talking about picking up trash on the side of the road or anything..I would make them work at food kitchens, make them work in nursing homes, make them go and volunteer at a homeless shelter, etc for a long long time.
Now...I may get jumped on this but oh well lol, its the way I feel:) But I think that SOME of this stuff and the increase of it stems from society as a whole. We are living in a world of technology and go go go mentality. Parents are having to work 2 and 3 jobs just to pay the bills, kids are engrossed in the tv games and the computer and cell phones. How many kids still have a family that sits down as a family in the evening for supper? How many families are there that every evening is filled with the whole family sitting together in the living room talking? or playing a game of soccer or volleyball as a family outside? How many hrs of one on one time does kids get these days with their parents thats not in the middle of something or going and doing something? We are no longer in touch with our kids, we wake them up, they go off to school, gone for 8 hrs, they get home and go straight to their rooms with the door shut with their computers and tv games and we may see them come out to go get a drink, food, etc but thats it. Now I am not saying ALL of the problem kids are like this because they arent, but I feel that some or maybe even most are! And its not really the parents fault either because this day and age its so hard to be able to have time with our kids!! Parents HAVE to work long hrs in order to pay for the bills, sometimes they have to be gone, but it still doesnt take away the fact that it is impacting our kids. Our kids NEED us! They are not going to learn empathy at school or from a computer or tv game, they learn how to socialize and have feelings for other peoples situations from us!!
I don't like to go too far with putting the "blame" on technology, video games, etc, but I think you point out some real factors that pose tough challenges to modern parents. I also think that, for whatever reason, many parents don't recognize that being a parent is a full-time job and something you have to actively work at--it doesn't just "happen". In addition to the stresses of trying to make ends meet, I think there is a feeling among many adults that their personal time, social life, etc, is entitled to equal priority with their obligations as a parent.0 -
I just read another perspective on this incident and want to see what y'all think. "This lady is a paid professional hired to maintain order on the school bus. Was she doing her job? And now she won't press charges, but will gladly accept the donations being sent her way. Should she have done what she was being paid to do"? Thoughts?0
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I just read another perspective on this incident and want to see what y'all think. "This lady is a paid professional hired to maintain order on the school bus. Was she doing her job? And now she won't press charges, but will gladly accept the donations being sent her way. Should she have done what she was being paid to do"? Thoughts?
I heard the donations were up to $440K. She can now refer to herself as a "job creator", demand a tax cut, and insist that those who "didn't make it on their own like I did" suck it up and stop living off the taxpayers.0 -
I just read another perspective on this incident and want to see what y'all think. "This lady is a paid professional hired to maintain order on the school bus. Was she doing her job? And now she won't press charges, but will gladly accept the donations being sent her way. Should she have done what she was being paid to do"? Thoughts?
I'd like to know what the author of that comment thinks she should have done. Really. What was she supposed to do?
Legally, they committed assault against her. I wish she would press charges.
I knew I shouldn't watch it, but it was all over the news last night and I got sucked in. At the moment when they say "if you aren't sweating, why is there water on your face? and she replies, 'because I'm crying', I just lost it. I could not believe the cruelty of what I was seeing.
Questions I still have, someone may know the answers:
who was recording this? Why didn't they intervene? How did this recording become public?
I hope she takes her money and retires. I sincerely hope she never has to set foot on a bus of any kind again for the rest of her life.0 -
I'd like to know what the author of that comment thinks she should have done. Really. What was she supposed to do?
Okay, but let's say it wasn't her they were harrassing. Say it was your daughter and that monitor was hired to maintain order on the bus. Would you be upset that she just sat there, or would you expect her to take action?0 -
I'd like to know what the author of that comment thinks she should have done. Really. What was she supposed to do?
Okay, but let's say it wasn't her they were harrassing. Say it was your daughter and that monitor was hired to maintain order on the bus. Would you be upset that she just sat there, or would you expect her to take action?
I would def. expect her to take action. It seems clear to me that her position is one without much (or any) power. In every school setting I have worked in, I've been able to issue a detention, write someone up, there is some sort of disciplinary tool available to me to deter unwanted behavior. It seems obvious that her position offers her no tools like that. They hired this lady to be a "bus monitor" (a term I'm completely unfamiliar with) but does she have any 'weapons' available to her? Can she issue a detention/kick them off the bus/write them up?0 -
I'd like to know what the author of that comment thinks she should have done. Really. What was she supposed to do?
Okay, but let's say it wasn't her they were harrassing. Say it was your daughter and that monitor was hired to maintain order on the bus. Would you be upset that she just sat there, or would you expect her to take action?
I would def. expect her to take action. It seems clear to me that her position is one without much (or any) power. In every school setting I have worked in, I've been able to issue a detention, write someone up, there is some sort of disciplinary tool available to me to deter unwanted behavior. It seems obvious that her position offers her no tools like that. They hired this lady to be a "bus monitor" (a term I'm completely unfamiliar with) but does she have any 'weapons' available to her? Can she issue a detention/kick them off the bus/write them up?
The bus moniters in my school district can,otherwise it would be pointless to have them if the kids knew they have no power.
I dont agree with this who,le donation thing,there is plenty of really needy causes in the world. Are we going to take up donations for everyone thats had something mean said to them or just the ones that make it on youtube?0 -
Yeah, I'm not familiar with the job description of a bus monitor, either. I would just hope she'd take *some* kind of action if this was happening to another kid on the bus. I really wish she had done something to defend herself, too. What these punks did is disgusting, no doubt, but why would she just sit there? And I really, really wish she'd press charges!I would def. expect her to take action. It seems clear to me that her position is one without much (or any) power. In every school setting I have worked in, I've been able to issue a detention, write someone up, there is some sort of disciplinary tool available to me to deter unwanted behavior. It seems obvious that her position offers her no tools like that. They hired this lady to be a "bus monitor" (a term I'm completely unfamiliar with) but does she have any 'weapons' available to her? Can she issue a detention/kick them off the bus/write them up?0 -
I'd like to know what the author of that comment thinks she should have done. Really. What was she supposed to do?
Okay, but let's say it wasn't her they were harrassing. Say it was your daughter and that monitor was hired to maintain order on the bus. Would you be upset that she just sat there, or would you expect her to take action?
I would def. expect her to take action. It seems clear to me that her position is one without much (or any) power. In every school setting I have worked in, I've been able to issue a detention, write someone up, there is some sort of disciplinary tool available to me to deter unwanted behavior. It seems obvious that her position offers her no tools like that. They hired this lady to be a "bus monitor" (a term I'm completely unfamiliar with) but does she have any 'weapons' available to her? Can she issue a detention/kick them off the bus/write them up?
The bus moniters in my school district can,otherwise it would be pointless to have them if the kids knew they have no power.
I dont agree with this who,le donation thing,there is plenty of really needy causes in the world. Are we going to take up donations for everyone thats had something mean said to them or just the ones that make it on youtube?
Hmmm...that is an idea. Rent a bus, get some neighborhood kids, make a video.........make profits!!
Only downside is that if that were me in that situation--people would be sending donations to the kids.....
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Which leads us back to Lucky's question of who was doing the video recording. Anyone know?Hmmm...that is an idea. Rent a bus, get some neighborhood kids, make a video.........make profits!!0 -
I dont agree with this who,le donation thing,there is plenty of really needy causes in the world. Are we going to take up donations for everyone thats had something mean said to them or just the ones that make it on youtube?
If she had asked for donations, I'd be really turned off by it. But she didn't. It was done for her, by strangers, because they felt so awful for her and wanted to do something kind.
I'm ok with the donations.0
