Binge Eating Support Group - Daily Conversation 2012
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welcome , It takes some time to get back on board..........sounds like you have the tools .........I know I do it is just making up my mind to use them and log on every morsel I eat even when it isn't good............I was really shocked this last weigh in to see that I had gained it all back......coming here helps me ..............good wishes one day at a time. Richie0
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Hello all!
Book list that was requested -- Link below:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/697030-book-list-on-binge-eating-or-related-subjects
There are a host of self help books out on binge eating, compulsive overeating, eating disorders, etc. Just use your library search engines to find what your library have.
Geneen Roth has a lot of good books on this matter that is not too technical. When I found Bite by Bite, that was not the book I was looking for. I was looking for another one of her books and this was one of the only ones they had on CD so I checked it out. Right now I don't have time to read a book but I have time to listen to them on the way to work or in my car.
Hope this list helps.0 -
Hello all
Well today is a better day for me. I found out I will be losing my job soon. Somewhere between December 1st and January 1st. I wanted to binge but so far I have been talking myself out of it because eating will not help this situation. I have to be proactive and start making the necessary doctor appointments before my insurance ends and making contacts with people in my industry to look out for job openings for me. I have been here 10 years so I want to wait and get my package so on some levels my hands are tied.
I did cry today because even though I expected it losing a job is losing a job and not an happy occasion at all. So I am going to let myself feel sad:sad: about it and not eat about it. :noway: I am crying as I write this, but I will be OK for sure. Sharing this with everyone seems to be helping me tremendously. I will let you all know tomorrow if I made it.
Have a good evening!0 -
My therapist has given me homework: I'm to delay giving into an urge to eat. Distract myself, do something different for 5-10 minutes and then if I'm still having the craving, to eat it. It's hard to delay. But I find I'm able to delay 50% of the time now and then 50% of those times, I actually avoid the craving. I still have major (to me) binges, but I'm seeing some improvement.
My hubby is going away for work for 2 months in another week. I'm worried about setbacks.0 -
Are you bulimic? Are you trying to recover?
Please see below link from a member looking for support who is bulimic:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/706996-seeking-recovering-ed-binge-eater-bulimic-friends0 -
Where is everyone? I'm trying to avoid a binge . . . I'm not hungry but I really feel that need to eat0
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I'm somewhat proud of myself because, although I ate over my calories, I didn't binge. I did give into the urge to eat though. I was full after dinner at 6, but starting around 8 pm, I was having a hard time fighting off urge to eat. Finally, at 9:30, I gave in and ate some popcorn and a popsicle.It's better than Cheezits but it put me at 1544 calories instead of the 1200 I'm allotted. I'm full now, at least!0
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Fair, :flowerforyou: We are all still here. Sorry I wasn't around when you needed someone. I went for a long walk last night when I wanted to eat a chocolate or should I say a bag of choclolate........sick I know.:noway: Anyhow so glad you could give in a little without over doing it. I think the more often you get through an urge the easier it gets. 1200 cals leaves me hungry unless I am very distracted by the outside world. I do fine all day and then feel way too hungry at night. The way I see it is that as long as I log I am being honest with myself.....instead of just sticking my head in the sand. Hope you have a great Tuesday. Richie0
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Thanks for the support, Richie! Hope you do great today; I know you will!
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Happy hump day!!
This week I stopped WW and looked into getting a life coach to help me with impulse to use food as a friend.
While shopping for a coach I found one that specializes in binge eating, compulsive over eating. I got the idea from listening to Geneen Roth books. I spoke with her Monday. I saw many weight loss coaches out there but many of the others were like a diet. Her website was screaming to me because her whole website focused on the demons of compulsive overeating and binge eating. In my ED program last year we stopped at my fears and how I was letting them hold me back, so I really want to pick up where I left off last year. I wrote her below email last night: (this was 1 of 3 short emails to give her my background and history so that will be out of the way)
Hi Denise,
You asked me yesterday, what do you want to get out of weight loss coaching?
I am afraid to lose the extra 100+ pounds I need to lose to feel good. I am afraid to let myself be happy. I am afraid to have a normal relationship with a man. My father was abusive (not sexually but mentally and physically to me and my sister and mostly my Mom) Because of this abuse it has made me use pounds to stay safe. I have used food to not take chances on love. I use the fat as a coat to keep me in a cage. I had Gastric Bypass Surgery in 2004 and lost about 300 pounds. Kept off about 220 pounds and gained back about 80 pounds. My highest weight was 611 and lowest weight 302 in 2007. Now I weigh 388. I have been trying to the 80 pounds gained off and then I never reached my ultimate goal of 220 pounds or somewhere around there.
I have looked into having another surgery but I really want to deal with my demons and fears of going to the next level. The weight already lost changed my life so much but I got afraid as I got smaller and got more attention from men so I turned back to my favorite friend of choice – FOOD. Hence current weight gain. I hope working with a weight loss coach will help me not be fearful of what if and a future without a FAT COAT. I want to get rid of the fear that is holding me back. The fear that is causing me to sabotage myself. I believe I am worth it, that is why I had the 1st surgery. Now I want to take my life to the next level before I hit 50. I pray you are the one to help me
I look forward to our meeting on phone next week at 7:30pm.
her reply to me
I commend you for being resourceful and giving yourself that support, including the webinar yesterday.
I'm glad to know your background and your goals. Yes, staying safe in a more mature, evolved way sounds like the poignant thing to focus on on our coaching call.
Know that you will get to where you want.
Warmly,
Denise
“Know that for every need, you have the means to fill it.” Sanaya Roman, Personal Power through Awareness, 1986
Denise B. Holz
Weight Loss Coach
Seattle, WA (206) 242-6224
www.enlightenedweightloss.com0 -
Molly, Thankyou so much for sharing that.......you were brave to put it out there. I have been thinking about my weight gain and it's relationship to my break up. As my doubts with my companion went up , so did my weight. He told me once he would never put up with a fat woman..........your letter to Denise helped me recognize my fear of losing the weight, I don't want to be hurt again. the extra layers around me are a physical boundary to keep people out. Thanks Molly , your journey is helping so many of us out here in cyberspace. Richie0
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Richie--So sad to hear that someone could be so cruel and say that he could never be with a fat woman. What other women could he never be with? A disabled one? One who had cancer? No one knows what life will hand us and a good partner should be there no matter what. You deserve that; we all do.0
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Richie, That is exactly why it is important to me to share. Because I know their are many who are using food and fat as a protective coat. To shield us from the pains of relationships, etc. We are afraid to love and be loved. So sorry you had to break up but you can find another friend to love and they will love you for the beautiful person that you are. Yes we know this but it is easy to say it and not do it. I know my issues but that has not helped me to move forward at all. I am still trapped. I am still in my cage and wanting to get out one day soon. I feel my day is coming soon. :flowerforyou: I have to really dig down deep to find the courage I need to break out of my self made cage. :brokenheart:Molly, Thankyou so much for sharing that.......you were brave to put it out there. I have been thinking about my weight gain and it's relationship to my break up. As my doubts with my companion went up , so did my weight. He told me once he would never put up with a fat woman..........your letter to Denise helped me recognize my fear of losing the weight, I don't want to be hurt again. the extra layers around me are a physical boundary to keep people out. Thanks Molly , your journey is helping so many of us out here in cyberspace. Richie0 -
Happy Friday!! :flowerforyou:
I am reading Geneen Roth book now, Take Back Your Life and it is very good. This is the 2nd book of hers I have read. Just wanted to share a bit of the basis or foundation of her books. Have an awesome weekend!
Geneen Roth's Eating Guidelines
1. Eat when you are hungry. (Truly hungry, body hungry not mind hungry)
2. Eat sitting down in a calm environment. This does not include the car.
3.Eat without distractions. Distractions include radio, television, newspaper, books, intense or anxiety producing conversation and music.
4. Eat only what your body wants. (Big difference from what your MIND wants!)
5. Eat until you are satisfied. (This is different than full).
6. Eat (with the intention of being) in full view of others.
7. Eat with enjoyment, gusto and pleasure.0 -
I'm not doing well. I seem to be ok with BED/SED currently but I'm in a lot of OA groups online, going to 5 or more a day & things are coming up. Right now it's late and I know I'll feel better in the morning, but still. The layers are coming off and I don't feel mentally well right now
![:\](https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/resources/emoji/confused.png ":\")
It's like the toxins are coming out.
EDIT: am doing better, was just sharing in a great OA chat. Am doing well. As I said in chat, the underneath of the sexual abuse/toxic stuff is coming out. Amazingly, I am not having BED issues at the moment. This is pretty miraculous. 0 -
Hang in there Molly, Feel as though we are kindrid spirits.....I am holding my own.........have had a couple diet set backs.....but I am beginning to understand that this body does not define who I am. Love you Richie0
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Gained 5 lbs. from endless bingeing but at least I wasn't purging. I'm not going to give up, though--just start afresh.0
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Success is never giving up!:flowerforyou:Gained 5 lbs. from endless bingeing but at least I wasn't purging. I'm not going to give up, though--just start afresh.0 -
I read below article this morning from an email I receive from Duke University. It is sort of long but worth a read since we all are dealing with emotional eating:
Are You in Touch With Your Emotions?
When you're faced with a powerful or uncomfortable feeling, how do you deal with it? Sometimes when we don't know what to do with an emotion, we turn to food to cope with it or cover it up. This response can become so automatic that you may not even be aware of the emotion that's triggering your impulse to eat. But if you understand what you're feeling and what you really need, chances are you will realize that food isn't going to meet that need.
The next time you experience an uncomfortable emotion, try the following steps. They can help you understand where your feelings are coming from and how to manage them.
1. Connect with the emotion. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and continue to breathe comfortably and fully with nice, gentle, full breaths. Focus on your bodily sensations. Recognize how your body feels "in the moment" without judging or interpreting. Notice how your chest rises with each breath and how the air flows through your nose and into your lungs.
2. Observe the emotion. Ask yourself, "What am I sensing? What am I feeling? What am I thinking?" Resist the urge to figure out why you are feeling a certain way — just experience the emotion.
3. Evaluate the emotion. Practice recognizing your true needs. Perhaps you are bored? Then your need might be for activity. However, if you are lonely, the answer may be quite different — activity involving friends or at least other people. Now ask yourself, "What do I need right now? What is missing?"
4. Choose an action. Understand that there is no right or wrong here — individual needs vary. We'll offer some ideas, but the best actions are the ones you come up with yourself — the ones that meet your needs in the moment. For example, you may need to:
•Express the feeling in private (cry, write in your journal, etc.).
•Release the feeling through action. For example, you might find release through movement, like walking or dancing.
•Use relaxation techniques like deep breathing or meditation.
•Express the feeling to others you trust and seek their support.
Reconnecting with your emotions can help you find outlets for them that don't involve food. This week, focus on improving your emotional awareness.0 -
How Mindful Eating Becomes Mindful Living
November 2012 Newsletter by Michelle May, M.D.
There's a saying: How you do anything is how you do everything. It is not always obvious, but it is often true. I’ve been thinking about that a lot because today is my big 5-0. (We’re having a Virtual Birthday Party later this month! Read on for more information…)
Milestones like graduations, anniversaries, New Year’s, and birthdays that end in a zero give us an opportunity to reflect on our journey so far and anticipate the journey ahead. It may sound strange, but I am truly grateful for my struggle with food and yoyo dieting. Although it was a significant challenge for many years of my life, in return, I received the precious gifts of insight, authenticity, and compassion that I'm now able to use to inspire and help others.
I also realize that my journey to freed om with food has really been a journey to freedom in my life - and I’ve heard that from many of you too. Since "how I do anything might be how I do everything," learning to eat mindfully has taught me (and continues to teach me) how to live mindfully. Below is an example of how to apply mindful eating lessons to your life from each chapter/workshop:
It’s not about being in control, it’s about being in charge. What else, besides food, are you trying to control instead of giving yourself the flexibility to make decisions that are right in that circumstance?
Whenever you feel like eating, pause to ask “Am I hungry?” Rather than reacting on autopilot, pausing between the stimulus and the response gives you response-ability. What other triggers in your life need a pause button to give you time to think about your next action?
Guilt fuels the eat-repent-repeat cycle. Regret leaves the door open for learning. Are you allowing guilt or shame about the past paralyze you and prevent you from moving forward in some area of your life?
Remember TFAR: Your Thoughts lead to your Feelings which lead to your Actions which lead to your Results. Diets don’t work because they are focused on actions, not the root causes (your thoughts and feelings); in fact they even create new thoughts and feelings that drive more overeating! Where else in your life do you try to fix the outside without addressing the inside first? How is that backfiring?
Allow Balance, Variety, and Moderation to guide your food choices. These principles work well for nutrition so how can you apply them to your work, exercise, and other aspects of your life?
Mindful Eating is eating with intention and attention. What else in your life, in addition to eating, would benefit from more intention and attention?
Eating the right amount of food isn’t about being good; it’s about feeling good. How can increased awareness of the effects of your choices (without judgment) help you choose more wisely?
Practicing excellent self-care builds a buffer zone that helps you cope with the inevitable challenges that life brings. Are you investing in yourself consistently?
I hope these lessons have helped you as much as they have helped me. But if you haven’t started this journey yet, it’s never too late!
Six years ago, I had the opportunity to facilitate an Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating Workshop in a retirement community. On the first day, one of the participants, 70 year old Velma, said, “Honey, I’ve been on every diet invented. I don’t see how this one’s going to be any different, but why quit now?” On the last day of our workshop, with tears in her eyes, Velma said, “Why didn’t anyone teach me this stuff forty years ago? It makes me sad to think of all of the time, energy, and money I’ve wasted—but I’m not going to waste one more minute of my life dieting!”
And that is why I always sign my books, articles, and emails with…
Eat Mindfully, Live Vibrantly!
Michelle May, M.D.0
