Job Snob
Options
Replies
-
I think it is a good idea to throw all pre-conceived notions out the window right now about jobs/employment. We're living in a once in a lifetime type bad economy right now. The only people who have seen things like what is going on right now are the 85+ year old retirees who remember the Great Depression as children. Dec 2007-present is like nothing since then. The early 2000s recession and the stagflation/economic malaise of the 1970s were walks in the park compared to current conditions.
For example, only a half of those who graduated college since 2006 are now employed full time, according to a recent Rutgers University survey. More college graduates are settling for jobs that in years past would have gone to those without degrees, while people in their 30s are now occupying jobs once taken by recent graduates.
There are a lot of recent college graduates working as baristas at Starbucks, waiting tables or doing some other high school diploma level job.
In short, to me, employment status isn’t a big deal to me. Every situation is individual, and I think we have to dig deeper and get to know the person.
Well put, I don't think you can judge a book by it's cover. I would have more respect for a guy working at McDonald's who is working rather than taking welfare or unemployment than someone who came from money, daddy paid for his education and is a banker or something.0 -
I really appreciate all of your comments and the different perspectives you bring. That's exactly why I posted here.
You've all given me something to think about, and, perhaps, I will try not to pass judgment too quickly from now on, and do as Janie says and find out the backstory. Because, really, for me, it is about the drive and determination and work ethic, not about how much money he makes. I'm definitely not looking for someone to take care of me. I've been doing that by myself for a long time... and actually, I made more money than my ex and handled all the finances. 0 -
Well put, I don't think you can judge a book by it's cover. I would have more respect for a guy working at McDonald's who is working rather than taking welfare or unemployment than someone who came from money, daddy paid for his education and is a banker or something.
Agreed.0 -
I'm not quite a job snob, but a drive snob. Too much drive over career/house/goals/etc and we will clash and too little and I'll be uninterested. As an example: if the guy was ex-miliatry (just got out) and working at the first job he had (whatever that is) with goals to go somewhere, that would be one thing. If the guy lived at home for the majority of his life, not looking for work, not interacting with anything or if he has a job and no goals what so ever for anything else - that's a completely different thing. I also found it doesn't really work out if the guy wants the whole world everything above and beyond because my own drive isn't that high and so that type of goal tires me out.
I do have assumptions about jobs, but that doesn't hold me back about going on dates and changing my mind. I'm sure a lot of people (especially guys) have assumptions about my job so I can only hope they give me a chance too. :-)0 -
I'm definitely all about motivated goal oriented people. A few weeks ago I posted about how I was turned off by a guy because even though he was my age and finished with school he didn't have clear or realistic goals about what he wanted to do for a career. I'm fine if you work in refrigeration and love it, or at least appreciate it because it pays for the things that do make you happy. And hey, if people can be happy working minimum wage that's -awesome- we NEED people like that in society, people fill all roles... as long as they're happy who am I to judge?
At the point where I expect to be included in someone's life... if what makes you happy doesn't vibe with what makes me happy then it's just not meant to be. That unmotivated smart guy flipping burgers at McDonalds will find someone that is totally fine living that lifestyle, and I'll find someone that wants a bit more adventure and silliness in their life. Neither of us is bad or even better than the other, we're just different and we play different roles in life.0 -
It depends on the circumstances.
I have a friend in her late 50's who has been searching for 2 years for a job. She had one for 20+ years, and then one day the office closed.
My 50 yr SIL came into her job of 15+ years, plant closed.
Another friend who is 62, with 2 Masters Degrees and a Doctorate, is doing customer service via phone.
I came into work after a month off for heart surgery, and we were all advised our office was closeing. We could move 4 hrs away, or take a very nice sev. package. I have been with the co 20 years, no way at 50 I am starting over. I was blessed to be offered a position in the same location in another department.
Scares the crap out of me:sick:
Sooooooo, my answer is "It all depends on the circumstances".0 -
I look at a few things related to job/employment: enjoyment, independent or financially responsible, time,
Those are important to me..I will most likely not end up with a man who makes more than I do..I'm not rich but I do have a well paying career. I like my job, I have passion for it and I want someone who is equally happy when they are spending so much of their time doing that job. Also no workaholics.0 -
I look at a few things related to job/employment: enjoyment, independent or financially responsible, time,
Those are important to me..I will most likely not end up with a man who makes more than I do..I'm not rich but I do have a well paying career. I like my job, I have passion for it and I want someone who is equally happy when they are spending so much of their time doing that job. Also no workaholics.
Well work ethic is something I was raised on. So being a workaholic is a must in the finance field. At least at my level, maybe someday I can just sit around while someone else works their rear end off.0 -
I want a relationship..that takes time to get to know someone..and if they are working 60-70 hours a week..and have a life of their own when does that leave quality time to build things. For me no I won't do it. I was a workaholic last year working in sales for a year and I thought really is this worth it? I couldn't take vacation incase a client wanted to book..I was expected to work all hours and be available constantly. I went back to my lovely pensioned stable 37.5 hour a week job...no commission but excellent salary and benefits and TIME. I'm so happy..now I feel I have time for my lifestyle and dating/relationships. And I have an excellent work ethic. Working too much doesn't mean a person has any stronger work ethic than a person who works regular hours.0
-
Don't care as long as he can afford to feed himself, cause I sure can't afford to. Oh yeah, and no military guys. Too many conflicting emotions over that one. I tried it once, didn't like it. Pretty sure he didn't care for my suggestion about defecting to Canada, either.0
-
Ive dated women from Doctors to teachers, ive learned it doesnt matter what kind of job they have, its good people have a job in today's economy. Many of my friends are jobless so its not cool for women to talk down about guys and what kind of job they have. I see many women talk crap about a man and what he does for a living but them themselves dont have a good job either. Its hypocritical and stupid. People should accept people fro their qualities as a human being instead of materialist crap.0
-
Ive dated women from Doctors to teachers, ive learned it doesnt matter what kind of job they have, its good people have a job in today's economy. Many of my friends are jobless so its not cool for women to talk down about guys and what kind of job they have. I see many women talk crap about a man and what he does for a living but them themselves dont have a good job either. Its hypocritical and stupid. People should accept people fro their qualities as a human being instead of materialist crap.
Love don't pay the rent!0 -
Ive dated women from Doctors to teachers, ive learned it doesnt matter what kind of job they have, its good people have a job in today's economy. Many of my friends are jobless so its not cool for women to talk down about guys and what kind of job they have. I see many women talk crap about a man and what he does for a living but them themselves dont have a good job either. Its hypocritical and stupid. People should accept people fro their qualities as a human being instead of materialist crap.
If didn't have my own job I couldn't very well go seeking someone who's a millionaire. I only seek someone who is basically at an equal position in life. I'm not anyone elses mother. I don't want to be taken care of financially other than if I was a stay at home mother which is a full time job either way. I also don't feel that I should be taking care of the man financially. Equality.0 -
Ive dated women from Doctors to teachers, ive learned it doesnt matter what kind of job they have, its good people have a job in today's economy. Many of my friends are jobless so its not cool for women to talk down about guys and what kind of job they have. I see many women talk crap about a man and what he does for a living but them themselves dont have a good job either. Its hypocritical and stupid. People should accept people fro their qualities as a human being instead of materialist crap.
If didn't have my own job I couldn't very well go seeking someone who's a millionaire. I only seek someone who is basically at an equal position in life. I'm not anyone elses mother. I don't want to be taken care of financially other than if I was a stay at home mother which is a full time job either way. I also don't feel that I should be taking care of the man financially. Equality.
Thats cool, you get it. I so agree with you, most should seek someone who is at an equal position in life. What some of these women dont get it that there are so many people with degrees that work crap jobs due to the economy. I have a buddy who has a Doctorate and he is a server. I only am writing this cause I see this alot on here.
I wish men had a list of 300 things a woman must be before they are dateable and see how they like it. As many years as a Business Director/finance manager, people would be surprised what the normal income and income to debt ratio is these days. Not trying to make anyone mad, i just think its petty, this guy who works for waffel house, maybe he wants to move up in the company. If he becomes a district manager or GM, he will make good money.
Most people start a crap job and then move up. How about supporting and believing in your partner.0 -
I think the only time I would hesitate based on someone's job would be if they were a) insecure about it (e.g. defensive about what they do) or b) really unhappy with what they were doing (complaining about work all the time). Other than that, as long as they're good with what they do and their current status or ambitions, I'm good with it too.0
-
Ive dated women from Doctors to teachers, ive learned it doesnt matter what kind of job they have, its good people have a job in today's economy. Many of my friends are jobless so its not cool for women to talk down about guys and what kind of job they have. I see many women talk crap about a man and what he does for a living but them themselves dont have a good job either. Its hypocritical and stupid. People should accept people fro their qualities as a human being instead of materialist crap.
If didn't have my own job I couldn't very well go seeking someone who's a millionaire. I only seek someone who is basically at an equal position in life. I'm not anyone elses mother. I don't want to be taken care of financially other than if I was a stay at home mother which is a full time job either way. I also don't feel that I should be taking care of the man financially. Equality.
Thats cool, you get it. I so agree with you, most should seek someone who is at an equal position in life. What some of these women dont get it that there are so many people with degrees that work crap jobs due to the economy. I have a buddy who has a Doctorate and he is a server. I only am writing this cause I see this alot on here.
I wish men had a list of 300 things a woman must be before they are dateable and see how they like it. As many years as a Business Director/finance manager, people would be surprised what the normal income and income to debt ratio is these days. Not trying to make anyone mad, i just think its petty, this guy who works for waffel house, maybe he wants to move up in the company. If he becomes a district manager or GM, he will make good money.
Most people start a crap job and then move up. How about supporting and believing in your partner.
Sometimes I agree with you, Anthony. No matter what, I always appreciate your input.
But I feel the need to respond:
First of all, I am not materialistic, and it isn't really about money. I do realize that you were talking about women in general, but since I am the original poster, I feel like maybe I need to make myself clear. For me, I truly wonder about someone's goals and ambitions and drive and motivation or lack thereof when I hear that a.) they don't have a job or b.) they have a minimum wage type job. Part of this stems from my own personal experiences. My first husband had some issues and couldn't or didn't always work. I did support my partner. Even when his bipolarism and drug addictions got too much for me to bare and we separated, I still did his laundry and bought his groceries. I supported him through thick and thin. My second husband? I made more money than he did. When we got married, he didn't have a job. He also wasn't truthful to me about how he really made his income. I found out a little too late. He had led me to believe that he was a "self-employed" carpenter. Anyway... when we got married, he didn't have work. He was unemployed for the first couple of months of our marriage. I worked. I had a decent comfortable home. I took care of the finances. When the tables turned after a decision that he and I made together, he decided to bail on me. He couldn't handle the stress or the responsibility of a wife and family, so he left, just walked away. I would have stayed with him til "death do us part" but now realize I'm much better off without him.
So...
Maybe it's because of my experiences in my past relationships that I now am more picky. I don't really mind what the man does as long as he enjoys it, is able to take care of himself financially, has good work ethic, and has some sort of goals or drive or ambition. I don't know if I necessarily want equality, but I do want a partnership. I do want someone who wants more out of life than working at the Waffle House. I guess if that makes me sound like a "**** then so be it. (And you know I'm really not one.
And, honestly, it wasn't just the fact that he worked at the Waffle House... but that he had just started and his work history didn't seem that stable. If he had told me that he used to do blah, he had this degree, but for now he was working at the Waffle House until such and such or blah... I probably would have been okay with it. But, also, remember, if you go back to my original post, the spark wasn't really that huge for me to begin with. I have tried giving him a chance, but we had our first conversation on the phone today, and my intuition was confirmed. He and I are not in the same place. He has a daughter he hasn't seen in four years. He moved 3000 miles away from her for some woman and had no job when he moved... Why aren't we compatible? Because to me, my family comes first. And I worked my tail off to be able to provide for them. I walked when I had no gas. Put them in the stroller, walked them to daycare 2 miles, and then turned around and walked to the school 3 miles. So, I understand people going through hard times. What I don't understand is someone who has no drive or determination to improve themselves or their quality of life. I am not the type of person to just sit back and let life happen... I'm going to work hard. I have determination and motivation, and I just don't think I would be compatible with someone who lacks it.
Okay, I started rambling... but maybe you're still sober enough to weed through it.
Edit: P.S. Most men do have a list of what they want in order for a woman to be dateable. So don't give me that crap. And most of what's on their list is purely superficial and about physical appearance. Which is worse? I really don't know if I think either is. It's all about preferences. I don't want to be with somebody that thinks I'm ugly anyway...0 -
There's no shame in refusing to put yourself back in one of those situations, SouthernSweetie. But you made this thread with it's somewhat provocative title, so now you get to live with a little indignation from a few people who have met real job snobs. :laugh: I wouldn't say you truly are one. And even if you are, so what? You're the only one qualified to look after your own happiness, so I say date whoever you want for whatever reasons you want.0
-
I don't care about a guy's job, and I actually prefer more of a "blue collar" style guy myself. The problem is, I make decent money and my standards have gone up over the years. A lot of the guys I'm attracted to are the type that like to "be the man" and cover everything. Well, it's awkward when he asks me where I wanna go out to eat and I know all the places I go to with friends or my son would break his bank. It's also awkward when guys find out how much you make and then they either get intimidated or they switch into "she's a sugar momma" role.
A guy working at waffle house wouldn't necessarily bother me unless I knew the backstory. I'm getting old enough now that I meet guys who have retired from the military with a decent check and are just doing little po-dunk jobs to cover extra expenses/hobbies, get out and meet people, and have no stress of supervision/work to take home. I totally get that!
I want to travel. I want to live comfortably (which doesn't take much!). I want to dress nice (and I do). I do that stuff for myself, and don't need a man to provide. But when I'm looking for a partner to my adventures, he's at least gotta pay his own way.
I'm the same way!0 -
Would you eat at McDonald's or the Waffle House??
Frankly if he works at McDonald's he works for one of the most profitable restraunts in the world.
This is a level, right?
--P0 -
It's more about their intelligence than the job they're doing. But I think this is more an issue for women than men. We men don't really have a hard time finding mates who are intelligent. But I suppose you women struggle more with this.
I've met quite few "blue collar" guys who were bright (perhaps not astro-physics bright but just still fairly intelligent), had natural leadership skills (perhaps coached their kid's baseball team, etc.), and in general could hold a decent conversation about what's happening in the world. They didn't have a university degree, but so what? I would consider them intelligent.
However, in general, if you're dating a fry cook at the Waffle House, my guess is that 99% of the time he's not going to be the brightest light on the Christmas tree. Probably has some serious behavioral issues, as well. I mean, he really needs a great excuse as to why he's there, otherwise red flag. Sure, there are exceptions, but come on....
Also, over the past generation, women have become smarter than men (in general - I'm talking about the mean, not discussing any particular person). More women attend college, more women are in professional positions (although discrimination still remains at the upper echelons, etc.).
This certainly makes is harder for women to find a compatible mate on the intelligence scale, and they are going to have to dip into the "blue collar" segment more and more if they want to procreate (speaking purely anthropologically)... Along with that will come more "rationalization" as to why it's fine. There's frankly little choice.
--P
Edit: minor grammatical mistakes.0
