Job Snob
Options
Replies
-
Ive dated women from Doctors to teachers, ive learned it doesnt matter what kind of job they have, its good people have a job in today's economy. Many of my friends are jobless so its not cool for women to talk down about guys and what kind of job they have. I see many women talk crap about a man and what he does for a living but them themselves dont have a good job either. Its hypocritical and stupid. People should accept people fro their qualities as a human being instead of materialist crap.
If didn't have my own job I couldn't very well go seeking someone who's a millionaire. I only seek someone who is basically at an equal position in life. I'm not anyone elses mother. I don't want to be taken care of financially other than if I was a stay at home mother which is a full time job either way. I also don't feel that I should be taking care of the man financially. Equality.
Thats cool, you get it. I so agree with you, most should seek someone who is at an equal position in life. What some of these women dont get it that there are so many people with degrees that work crap jobs due to the economy. I have a buddy who has a Doctorate and he is a server. I only am writing this cause I see this alot on here.
I wish men had a list of 300 things a woman must be before they are dateable and see how they like it. As many years as a Business Director/finance manager, people would be surprised what the normal income and income to debt ratio is these days. Not trying to make anyone mad, i just think its petty, this guy who works for waffel house, maybe he wants to move up in the company. If he becomes a district manager or GM, he will make good money.
Most people start a crap job and then move up. How about supporting and believing in your partner.
Honey, I agree with you on most of that but you could have maybe worded it different. I know you mean well. You are right, we are too picky, i am for sure one of them, and tend to cross out quality guys over the silly things. We are spoiled these days by men and we tend to take it for granted. I have so many guys who like me, the more I have the pickier I get. I too don't understand it. I once didn't date a guy cause he didn't like strawberry milk, how silly is that? I cant explain why we are the way we are but we are programmed to like tall, fit, successful men and then we through in a bunch of silly must haves in there. In a perfect world, we should not be so demanding and picky but its hard when you have so many nice sweet guys to choose from. Like I said, we are spoiled. I too have many friends who are jobless, they are in my prayers and yes it bothers me when women are stuck up about it and wont even say hi to them. I was raised if a man is working, he is a good man. So many women are total you know what, that's why I don't hang out with many of them. Im now thinking about some waffle house, I love me some waffle house.Yum Yum.0 -
It's more about their intelligence than the job they're doing. But I think this is more an issue for women than men. We men don't really have a hard time finding mates who are intelligent. But I suppose you women struggle more with this.
I've met quite few "blue collar" guys who were bright (perhaps not astro-physics bright but just still fairly intelligent), had natural leadership skills (perhaps coached their kid's baseball team, etc.), and in general could hold a decent conversation about what's happening in the world. They didn't have a university degree, but so what? I would consider them intelligent.
However, in general, if you're dating a fry cook at the Waffle House, my guess is that 99% of the time he's not going to be the brightest light on the Christmas tree. Probably has some serious behavioral issues, as well. I mean, he really needs a great excuse as to why he's there, otherwise red flag. Sure, there are exceptions, but come on....
Also, over the past generation, women have become smarter than men (in general - I'm talking about the mean, not discussing any particular person). More women attend college, more women are in professional positions (although discrimination still remains at the upper echelons, etc.).
This certainly makes is harder for women to find a compatible mate on the intelligence scale, and they are going to have to dip into the "blue collar" segment more and more if they want to procreate (speaking purely anthropologically)... Along with that will come more "rationalization" as to why it's fine. There's frankly little choice.
--P
Edit: minor grammatical mistakes.
This is why I love you!
I'd just like to add: I have met many blue collar workers who were intelligent, maybe not in the "book smart" kind of way, but they could take apart a vehicle, fix it, and put it back together, or they could build a house from scratch. I appreciate multiple intelligences.0 -
There's no shame in refusing to put yourself back in one of those situations, SouthernSweetie. But you made this thread with it's somewhat provocative title, so now you get to live with a little indignation from a few people who have met real job snobs. :laugh: I wouldn't say you truly are one. And even if you are, so what? You're the only one qualified to look after your own happiness, so I say date whoever you want for whatever reasons you want.
LOL Mara! I did open a can of worms.
I'm okay with a little indignation. I learned a long time ago that I can't please everyone. So, you're right, think I'll please myself. And if that means I turn down every date offered to me for one reason or another, that's my perogative! 
0 -
I am a brand new single after 28 years. Being 50 may have a different slant on things.
I have dated a few men, but more like meet ups than dates. The first was a self employed construction worker, the second a fireman. (now I have lived the dream:I dated a Fireman )
I am drawn to hardworking men. My ex is the hardest working man I have ever known. If the kids had an expensive trip they wanted to go on he took a side job. BUT here I am divorced, right? So much more to the story.
What is funny for me, is that I was chatting with a man on a dating site. He was 54, lived in the area all his life, had the best full time job of his life, had been in a commited relationship for 10 years........but when he said he had always lived in an efficiency (sp) and had his first 1 bedroom apt (in a low rent neighborhood I am familiar with) it was screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech. Not interested.
I felt very shallow, who knows I could be missing the love of my life, huh?
I think we need to be in the same place. Period. I have worked very very hard to get to where I am in my job. Started with just a GED, then took a lot of classes giving me knowledge of my trade, taking every opportunity to learn something new, I have advanced. I worked 2 jobs at times to get here, because I had to start at the very bottom.
So at 50 years old, I want a man who is the same. Now tell me he started at WH doing dishes, and he is now Regional Manager, and that will be different.
Job Snob? I think not. I think you must find a man who is your equal or even to encourage you to be even better.0 -
Job Snob? I think not. I think you must find a man who is your equal or even to encourage you to be even better.
Exactly. I worked hard as a single mom to get my education (didn't even think about dating then) and take care of my kids.0 -
I wish men had a list of 300 things a woman must be before they are dateable and see how they like it. As many years as a Business Director/finance manager, people would be surprised what the normal income and income to debt ratio is these days. Not trying to make anyone mad, i just think its petty, this guy who works for waffel house, maybe he wants to move up in the company. If he becomes a district manager or GM, he will make good money.
Most people start a crap job and then move up. How about supporting and believing in your partner.Honey, I agree with you on most of that but you could have maybe worded it different. I know you mean well. You are right, we are too picky, i am for sure one of them, and tend to cross out quality guys over the silly things. We are spoiled these days by men and we tend to take it for granted. I have so many guys who like me, the more I have the pickier I get. I too don't understand it. I once didn't date a guy cause he didn't like strawberry milk, how silly is that? I cant explain why we are the way we are but we are programmed to like tall, fit, successful men and then we through in a bunch of silly must haves in there. In a perfect world, we should not be so demanding and picky but its hard when you have so many nice sweet guys to choose from. Like I said, we are spoiled. I too have many friends who are jobless, they are in my prayers and yes it bothers me when women are stuck up about it and wont even say hi to them. I was raised if a man is working, he is a good man. So many women are total you know what, that's why I don't hang out with many of them. Im now thinking about some waffle house, I love me some waffle house.Yum Yum.
The first quote from Calvert is right. Women are far fussier than men.
In the 2nd quote, we see this in practice in the strawberry milk example. I don't know this poster well, but from her picture, she probably has no problem getting attention from men. The more attention one gets, the sillier reasons one can disqualify on.0 -
Generalization warning ahead...
Men want in a partner sex,women want security (and sex).
One does not have to read many threads here to know that is by and large true.
Sex is easy to define (I also do want romance and companionship as much for the record) but security more abstract.
When in their teens or early twenties the feeling of security may be triggered by the cool guy/bad *kitten* that can take on the world.
As many find out he makes a very poor lifes partner in the long run.
Since very few of us are forging out an existence in a log cabin fending off wolves and bears,in later years security is a measure of a mans finances and how capable or willing he is to provide.
That is NOT an insinuation that all women are gold diggers in search of a sugar daddy,do not accuse me of that,it is not what I am saying.
It seems to be the sense that...with this guy I will not have to worry no matter what happens with her job or the notion that maybe she will have to support him.
That appears to be a close number two of dreaded things a lady has after rejection to the point they will accept being unhappily alone over it.0 -
I never had that security instinct, I was always a rather independent, stubborn, and proud sort. Well, can't say that has gotten me too far in dating or life.
Anyway, as far as blue collar men, I'd be more inclined, all else being equal, to date a construction worker or other person who has and lives by their spatial skills (something I also admire, since I don't!). I have very smart family members who have done construction all their lives. They're great conversationalists. My last boyfriend was in construction, and he wasn't as bright or learned as most of the guys I've dated, but he was one of the happiest, sweetest guys I've gone out with, despite working sunup to sundown for low pay.
I can't see myself dating someone who works a job I'd go crazy doing, and low wage cashier work definitely makes me crazy. I don't think I could be compatible with most people who do that kind of work and don't go crazy just from the boredom alone. That said, I've had factory and warehouse jobs that didn't make me crazy because people left me alone to do my job, leaving me to my own thoughts. That never happens in most customer service work.
Now a cook in a restaurant who just loves to cook and is happy in his work is more than welcome to take me home and make me dinner, since my cooking skills are nil, that might be a good match! If he's happy with his work and can hold a conversation, fine by me. But it's hard to find someone happy making minimum wage, in my opinion, because that isn't a living wage, and it's hard to be happy when you work all day and have nothing at the end of it.0 -
I have to say too that I am a bit discouraged to see the blue collar thing being somewhat shamed.
I graduated from high school and no higher education and now stand behind the parts counter of a farm equipment dealership.
I have to understand and know the workings of things that to most would be rocket science,have to grasp profit margins and turn ratios plus a dozen plus other things no one has heard of but still could be equated to being a burger flipper.
*sigh*0 -
I have to say too that I am a bit discouraged to see the blue collar thing being somewhat shamed.
I graduated from high school and no higher education and now stand behind the parts counter of a farm equipment dealership.
I have to understand and know the workings of things that to most would be rocket science,have to grasp profit margins and turn ratios plus a dozen plus other things no one has heard of but still could be equated to being a burger flipper.
*sigh*
Whether I would be wary of dating someone in your situations would depend on first off, do you like your job? Are you generally happy with it?
And not that this reflects negatively on you, but are you in more danger than most of being fired or losing everything and becoming homeless because they pay you crap and don't value your work? I said in my first post in this thread that I didn't care that much what a man does for a living as long as I don't have to feed him, since I can't afford to. Simple economic truth.
But I also know I'd rather be with someone who enjoys what he does, whatever that is, because someone who is miserable 40 hours a week is likely to be miserable the rest of the time, too.0 -
Oh yeah, and Carl, you're one of my favorite posters here. Smart and practical and nice. Even if you do work a job that would drive me absolutely frigging loony.0
-
I don't care how much someone makes seeing as I don't make a whole lot. That being said if someone can not support themselves I think that I would worry and be unsure about it. I don't mean to be a job snob but he has to be able to live and not depend on me or someone else. I would not have cared when I was younger as much because we were all struggling but the older I get I do care more... :ohwell:0
-
I have to say too that I am a bit discouraged to see the blue collar thing being somewhat shamed.
I graduated from high school and no higher education and now stand behind the parts counter of a farm equipment dealership.
I have to understand and know the workings of things that to most would be rocket science,have to grasp profit margins and turn ratios plus a dozen plus other things no one has heard of but still could be equated to being a burger flipper.
*sigh*
Whether I would be wary of dating someone in your situations would depend on first off, do you like your job? Are you generally happy with it?
And not that this reflects negatively on you, but are you in more danger than most of being fired or losing everything and becoming homeless because they pay you crap and don't value your work? I said in my first post in this thread that I didn't care that much what a man does for a living as long as I don't have to feed him, since I can't afford to. Simple economic truth.
But I also know I'd rather be with someone who enjoys what he does, whatever that is, because someone who is miserable 40 hours a week is likely to be miserable the rest of the time, too.
I don`t love it and sometimes hate it,so it goes dealing with the public,
It pays decent for the area and has okay benefits.
I want to leave NY so really am not satisfied with anything while I am here but that is a different subject.
It is frustrating in that most people would not last a day or many more in my job but off the cuff consider it something a stupid person does. </ semi rant>0 -
I have to say too that I am a bit discouraged to see the blue collar thing being somewhat shamed.
I graduated from high school and no higher education and now stand behind the parts counter of a farm equipment dealership.
I have to understand and know the workings of things that to most would be rocket science,have to grasp profit margins and turn ratios plus a dozen plus other things no one has heard of but still could be equated to being a burger flipper.
*sigh*
Whether I would be wary of dating someone in your situations would depend on first off, do you like your job? Are you generally happy with it?
And not that this reflects negatively on you, but are you in more danger than most of being fired or losing everything and becoming homeless because they pay you crap and don't value your work? I said in my first post in this thread that I didn't care that much what a man does for a living as long as I don't have to feed him, since I can't afford to. Simple economic truth.
But I also know I'd rather be with someone who enjoys what he does, whatever that is, because someone who is miserable 40 hours a week is likely to be miserable the rest of the time, too.
I don`t love it and sometimes hate it,so it goes dealing with the public,
It pays decent for the area and has okay benefits.
I want to leave NY so really am not satisfied with anything while I am here but that is a different subject.
It is frustrating in that most people would not last a day or many more in my job but off the cuff consider it something a stupid person does. </ semi rant>
You're right, it's snobbish to assume that someone who can do that work day in and day out is less intelligent than I am when it's just as likely that they have a higher tolerance for boredom, people, and frustration. Not hard at all in my case, I can't stand any of the above, and a mix of it really does make me nuts. Sorry to be so unintentionally snobby!0 -
Carl, I almost prefer blue collar workers (and engineers). I like it when a man works with his hands. I love it when I can say "Honey, can you fix the drawer?" not because I can't do it myself, but because it makes me feel feminine to have someone take care of that for me. I guess that's anti-feminist but everyone has a crazy thing that gets them all hot and bothered.
Reading through all these posts it seems like everyone agrees they want someone motivated. But then when I stop and think about my career choice? Yeah, it's cool I want to work with exotic animals and that'll sound amazing on paper - but my partner is going to have to understand that it's not glamorous. I'll be coming home covered in fur, excrement and unusual smells quite a lot. I'm so incredibly focused and driven and passionate about my work that you'd think a lot of people would be stoked about it... except that I tend to border on the side of fanaticism. I spend my free time studying and researching. Conversations turn to what I perceive to be interesting zoological trivia. So the reality isn't pretty, it's not something that you can define and put in a box wrap it up and say it's what you want.
What it comes down to is when you meet that person do you want to keep seeing them or don't you? You can have parameters but they don't have to be ironclad and if you're just not feeling it whether they meet your standards or not... eh. It's just how things go. So don't feel bad if you didn't already care for this guy and you were turned off that he was a waffle house cook. Like I said, he'll find his own lady that doesn't care and they'll be just fine together. All you can do is focus on you.0 -
Carl, I almost prefer blue collar workers (and engineers). I like it when a man works with his hands. I love it when I can say "Honey, can you fix the drawer?" not because I can't do it myself, but because it makes me feel feminine to have someone take care of that for me. I guess that's anti-feminist but everyone has a crazy thing that gets them all hot and bothered.
You see that is that undefinable "security" thing I spoke of.
It is something that sends women to ecstasy and no man understands (hell,women don`t either,it just happens).
Life would be perfect if men were more emotional and women were less but as it is both don`t understand and actually resent the other for being what they are.0 -
http://news.yahoo.com/us-poverty-track-rise-highest-since-1960s-112946547--finance.html
This is why I get frustrated with the women who think they are princesses and only date men based on their income. Times are changing, soon your pampering and bragging rights might come to an end. Now wanting a good stable income to support the family and pay bills and live comfortable is different but lets be honest, most women are very high maintenance and fussy. Some of you should feel guilty making men spend that money when they have kids or are struggling.0 -
http://news.yahoo.com/us-poverty-track-rise-highest-since-1960s-112946547--finance.html
This is why I get frustrated with the women who think they are princesses and only date men based on their income. Times are changing, soon your pampering and bragging rights might come to an end. Now wanting a good stable income to support the family and pay bills and live comfortable is different but lets be honest, most women are very high maintenance and fussy. Some of you should feel guilty making men spend that money when they have kids or are struggling.
Some men won't let you pay for anything though!. Don't get me wrong I appreciate when someone pays for something but money is not a big deal to me. I would prefer a good man over a rich one. BUT I also don't want a man who requires me to make a lot of money (which I don't) so he doesn't have to work or contribute at all.0 -
http://news.yahoo.com/us-poverty-track-rise-highest-since-1960s-112946547--finance.html
This is why I get frustrated with the women who think they are princesses and only date men based on their income. Times are changing, soon your pampering and bragging rights might come to an end. Now wanting a good stable income to support the family and pay bills and live comfortable is different but lets be honest, most women are very high maintenance and fussy. Some of you should feel guilty making men spend that money when they have kids or are struggling.
Some men won't let you pay for anything though!. Don't get me wrong I appreciate when someone pays for something but money is not a big deal to me. I would prefer a good man over a rich one. BUT I also don't want a man who requires me to make a lot of money (which I don't) so he doesn't have to work or contribute at all.
Thats true though in alot of cases. The thing is you appreciate it and thats cool. One night you need to go downtown on a sat night and just people watch, you will see things. The kind of women i dislike are not in this group but outside mfp, they are everywhere. Its the Kardashian and The Hills wannabes im talking about.0 -
I admit it, not only can I not cook, I also suck at fixing things. I'm just naturally inept in those departments, so I guess I should date a Waffle House cook who does side handyman jobs? If he can feed himself and he's happy enough in his work that he's not a steaming pile of resentments, I'm good with that, added bonus if he's a bookworm. You don't need to go to college to be well read and interesting.0
