Am I just that bad or what?

Options
123457

Replies

  • LALOCHA34
    LALOCHA34 Posts: 340 Member
    Options
    Just now joining the party and wanted to say good luck on date 2. Have fun and be yourself. I agree with poncho33. My approach is if they don't like me it is no big loss. I am a great gal and there are plenty of options out there. You aren't all that invested after only a couple dates so no harm no foul.
  • kobashi
    kobashi Posts: 164
    Options
    Just now joining the party and wanted to say good luck on date 2. Have fun and be yourself. I agree with poncho33. My approach is if they don't like me it is no big loss. I am a great gal and there are plenty of options out there. You aren't all that invested after only a couple dates so no harm no foul.

    Yeah true. I haven't dated in so long.. I don't want to force anything or give her the idea that i'm not interested... I guess this one will see... I am thinking about a steak though.
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
    Options
    During the date, don't bring up video games, PC specs or things such as theories of quantum relativity.

    Worst. Date. Ever.

    Some women are perfectly happy dating Dr. Richard Feynman.
  • Roadie2000
    Roadie2000 Posts: 1,801 Member
    Options
    Date Number 2 tonight:

    I invited her out to Outback. She really seems interested in going. The old me would immediately assume it's for a free meal and night out. The new me knows that a single mom isn't going to just spend her time away from her kiddo with just anyone.

    Any advice for me? I am still getting used to this whole dating thing.

    I also have a lunch date with a friend tomorrow but she has expressed interest in dating just lunch is the only time that she is available.

    Opinions?
    Just have fun. Seems like people are nervous before dates, go in with the mentality that you are excited to meet someone new and get rid of the worrying in the back of your head that you might screw it up somehow. You'll do fine.
  • Prahasaurus
    Prahasaurus Posts: 1,381 Member
    Options
    During the date, don't bring up video games, PC specs or things such as theories of quantum relativity.

    Worst. Date. Ever.

    Some women are perfectly happy dating Dr. Richard Feynman.

    Especially the necrophiliacs.

    --P
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
    Options
    During the date, don't bring up video games, PC specs or things such as theories of quantum relativity.

    Worst. Date. Ever.

    Some women are perfectly happy dating Dr. Richard Feynman.

    Especially the necrophiliacs.

    --P

    He's better dead than a lot of people are alive.
  • kobashi
    kobashi Posts: 164
    Options
    The date went well. We both had nice conversation but I am not sure about us as dating. We are so similar that we would probably be better off as friends.

    Honest question though, is it worth it to pay for POF's premium dating service? I have been on tons of sites and have had the best luck on POF.. Should I get a 3 month sub just to see how it goes?
  • kobashi
    kobashi Posts: 164
    Options
    I decided to give her a 3rd date and it actually went really well. We went to playtime pizza and had an awesome time. It was my first new kiss in 2012 and it actually felt meaningful. I do get worried when I start to actually like someone though. It has went so terrible for me in the past. I don't quite know how to act now. My friend always tells me to make them miss you, but what if I want to talk to them?!

    This is hard.
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
    Options
    I decided to give her a 3rd date and it actually went really well. We went to playtime pizza and had an awesome time. It was my first new kiss in 2012 and it actually felt meaningful. I do get worried when I start to actually like someone though. It has went so terrible for me in the past. I don't quite know how to act now. My friend always tells me to make them miss you, but what if I want to talk to them?!

    This is hard.

    So glad you've had 3 nice dates and a good kiss! Personally, I don't think the 'make them miss you' thing works in the electronic age where everyone is plugged in and can contact you at any minute of the day... that said, don't smother her either. Maybe one call or short text convo each day for now if you're still unsure how she feels.
  • Moe4572
    Moe4572 Posts: 1,430 Member
    Options
    I decided to give her a 3rd date and it actually went really well. We went to playtime pizza and had an awesome time. It was my first new kiss in 2012 and it actually felt meaningful. I do get worried when I start to actually like someone though. It has went so terrible for me in the past. I don't quite know how to act now. My friend always tells me to make them miss you, but what if I want to talk to them?!

    This is hard.

    So glad you've had 3 nice dates and a good kiss! Personally, I don't think the 'make them miss you' thing works in the electronic age where everyone is plugged in and can contact you at any minute of the day... that said, don't smother her either. Maybe one call or short text convo each day for now if you're still unsure how she feels.

    I agree with pj.....this day in age, if she "misses you" , she can easily move on to someone else that is more attentive. Go from her cues on how much contact to have...if you text, and she doens't text right away, don't send 10 more...just common sense stuff. Good luck!
  • LALOCHA34
    LALOCHA34 Posts: 340 Member
    Options
    Ahh, I was just checking back to see how the 2nd date went and now there was a 3rd. I am glad you had an enjoyable time. The whole make her miss you thing is pretty lame and it seems like something one would do in their teens. Don't overdue of course but keep in contact. She agreed to a 3rd date too so she must be interested.

    Dating will not always turn into long term relationship. That doesn't mean it isn't worth getting out there and seeing what happens.

    Good luck, I will check in on you later.
  • Mellie289
    Mellie289 Posts: 1,191 Member
    Options
    I decided to give her a 3rd date and it actually went really well. We went to playtime pizza and had an awesome time. It was my first new kiss in 2012 and it actually felt meaningful. I do get worried when I start to actually like someone though. It has went so terrible for me in the past. I don't quite know how to act now. My friend always tells me to make them miss you, but what if I want to talk to them?!

    This is hard.

    So glad you've had 3 nice dates and a good kiss! Personally, I don't think the 'make them miss you' thing works in the electronic age where everyone is plugged in and can contact you at any minute of the day... that said, don't smother her either. Maybe one call or short text convo each day for now if you're still unsure how she feels.

    I agree with pj.....this day in age, if she "misses you" , she can easily move on to someone else that is more attentive. Go from her cues on how much contact to have...if you text, and she doens't text right away, don't send 10 more...just common sense stuff. Good luck!

    Woo hoo! I'm glad you gave a third date a shot and it worked out well!

    I also agree to not buy into the "make them miss you" advice. That just doesn't work for me. I'm the kind of person that likes daily contact in a relationship, so early on, I want frequent contact that is working toward that eventually.

    The last guy I dated wouldn't contact me for days after our date and I could really feel my feelings fizzling out in the time I was waiting for his call (he'd say at the end of the date that he'd call me on Tuesday or Wednesday). I felt like it was kind of mixed signals - he had interest in going on a date, but a lack of interest in between and it really prevented things from building any momentum. My friends heard me complaining about this a lot for two months - I was just never sure how interested this guy was in me.

    The guy I'm seeing now contacts me at least every other day - a simple text to wish me a good day, an email about something we talked about on the phone or a phone call in the evening. I absolutely LOVE it and try to initiate contact on the other days so he knows I'm thinking about him too. His interest is very clear.

    To me, I would rather have the guy who is going to communicate with me and clearly show his interest versus the one who is playing it aloof.

    Do what feels right for you. If you aren't the type who likes to talk every day then don't - you don't want to do that early on and set an expectation of daily contact later. If you do like frequent communication, then you can get cues from her, like Moe said for texts, or from talking to her on the phone - ask what her plans are for the week and you can see when she's free and might like to talk again (you can ask her straight out even). Just try to limit your contact each day so you aren't texting, emailing and calling, unless she invites more contact (like if you text her in the morning and she asks you to call her later, and don't initiate texts on days you plan to talk on the phone). Then it shouldn't come across as too intense and smothering.

    Don't listen to your friend! :tongue:
  • MikeM53082
    MikeM53082 Posts: 1,199 Member
    Options
    I decided to give her a 3rd date and it actually went really well. We went to playtime pizza and had an awesome time. It was my first new kiss in 2012 and it actually felt meaningful. I do get worried when I start to actually like someone though. It has went so terrible for me in the past. I don't quite know how to act now. My friend always tells me to make them miss you, but what if I want to talk to them?!

    This is hard.

    If you really like her, just keep things progressing at a solid pace. Don't get complacent, just keep it interesting and fun (which it sounds like you are doing).

    What are your honest feelings toward her? Things will only get more serious and emotionally involved from here on out. If you are still not sure whether you want to get involved with her, now is the time to poof. If you really like her, just keep on doing what you're doing.
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
    Options
    Don't listen to your friend! :tongue:

    this^^
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
    Options
    I would rather have the guy who is going to communicate with me and clearly show his interest versus the one who is playing it aloof.

    Absolutely! One thing I like about a certain guy I’m getting to know is that even though he doesn’t text or call every day (which is what I’m used to if a guy really likes you) he DOES set up the next date before the current one is over.
    Do what feels right for you. If you aren't the type who likes to talk every day then don't - you don't want to do that early on and set an expectation of daily contact later. If you do like frequent communication, then you can get cues from her, like Moe said for texts, or from talking to her on the phone - ask what her plans are for the week and you can see when she's free and might like to talk again (you can ask her straight out even). Just try to limit your contact each day so you aren't texting, emailing and calling, unless she invites more contact

    This. Only you know how much is required for you and only she knows how much is required for her. I like daily contact, but when guys send 20 texts throughout the day and get huffy at me for not responding fast enough they just need someone else who likes constant contact (and that’s not me- I have stuff to do).

    I asked one guy why he kept sending a million texts when I thought guys hated women who did that and he told me it was because he was afraid I would think he wasn’t interested.

    It sounds like you’re the one who likes a lot of contact… shouldn’t be a problem for most women, just heed the advice others have given you. If you have a buildup of 3-4 texts sent with no response then back off for a bit.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    Options
    if thats the picture you use, yes. Its dark and blurry and has no dynamic contrast. You look like a creeper in a dark corner eyeballing me with your homeboy.
  • kobashi
    kobashi Posts: 164
    Options
    I sent her a text last night and asked if she wanted to do something this week and she said that she was busy with work all week. She didn't attempt to make any new plans. She had told me before that this week was busy because of inventory... I am a little deflated but it is a busy week for me also.

    Should I take this as more than it is?

    I didn't take the picture here, but at least I am out in public. We are in the bar in front of a pool table.
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
    Options
    I sent her a text last night and asked if she wanted to do something this week and she said that she was busy with work all week. She didn't attempt to make any new plans. She had told me before that this week was busy because of inventory... I am a little deflated but it is a busy week for me also.

    Should I take this as more than it is?

    I didn't take the picture here, but at least I am out in public. We are in the bar in front of a pool table.

    I would say "let me know when you're free" and proceed as usual
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
    Options
    I sent her a text last night and asked if she wanted to do something this week and she said that she was busy with work all week. She didn't attempt to make any new plans. She had told me before that this week was busy because of inventory... I am a little deflated but it is a busy week for me also.

    Should I take this as more than it is?

    I didn't take the picture here, but at least I am out in public. We are in the bar in front of a pool table.

    I would say "let me know when you're free" and proceed as usual

    I agree with Kitsune on that other then I would add "and want to do something." but that is being nit picky.
  • kobashi
    kobashi Posts: 164
    Options
    I don't think I am really ready to date. Going to focus on myself and close down the dating accounts for a few months. I really need to be focusing on my health, my career and my daughter for now.

    Thank you guys so much for all the support. Feel free to add me on here.