shy peeps
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I'd say I'm shy. But when I really want something, I don't let anything get in my way. Especially something like shyness.
This is me and Zumba. Lots of guys I talk to would NEVER go to a class. Too intimidating with all the women, don't wanna look like a fool infront of them etc etc. Being shy you'd think that I'd be in agreement with them and never want to do such a thing, but no. I really care about my health, weight and fitness levels so my shyness goes out the window. It's never stopped me from attending class or caring what others may think.
For those single/shy peeps that workout, do you feel this way about fitness? I definitely notice it helps me with shyness and anxiety which I know, in time, will eventually translate into dating.
I agree. When I first started going to the gym, it was after surgeries and steroids left me almost as heavy as when I was pregnant. I hated going into the gym and getting what I call "the fat girl treatment." The up-and-down looks, the attitude about getting off a machine when someone's already been on it 15 minutes past the limit, the snide remarks in a class about how I won't last long or how this class is probably too advanced for me (it never is, and I take great relish in "proving myself" and making the instructor's jaw drop that this big girl can kickbox/crossfit/etc w/the best of them). Even so, there were many times where I just didn’t go because of the social pressure and anxiety of having to “fight for my right” to be there when people should just live and let live and leave me alone.
Kudos to you for doing what works no matter WHAT you might be afraid of other people saying!
PS: I was surprised to read that guys where you are never go to zumba. We have a line of guys (always the back row) because apparently zumba is the best place for a cheap thrill. This is actually why I *don’t* do zumba on base. No free shows here.0 -
Both of these are soooo true!! When I stopped focusing on myself (how foolish I'll look, how inept I can be socially, etc) I was able to focus on others and stop being so shy.Shyness usually comes with a self focused attention which evaluates how one may be coming across to others (otherwise known as "seeing oneself as a social object"). One remedy is to consciously focus your attention on the other person.It's my fear of rejection
My friend's dad runs an advice website... and here's some good stuff he has to say about being shy:Shyness
Let’s make a very important distinction. Being shy is not the same as being an introvert. Introverts are people who do not need to draw energy from others to have a good time. Do not confuse the two: being an introvert is fine; being shy is debilitating.
Shyness is a lack of trust on other people more than it is lack of self-confidence. Most shy people can be talkative when they are among their closest friends. That’s because they trusts them.
No one is born shy. Shyness is the result of some experience in your life that caused the lack of trust in other people. But no matter what caused the shyness, anyone can overcome shyness!
Do not feel the need to become the life of the party to succeed. There will always be someone funnier, smarter, or louder than you. That’s fine. What you’re after is not feeling debilitated among them.
Tomorrow is the day to change your life. Do something very small. For example: Let’s say there’s a schoolmate, a teacher, a school bus driver, a street cross guard, anyone really, that you have never said Hi to because of shyness. Tomorrow, walk up to them, and say Hi. They will reply. Then just walk away. Believe it or not, it may be that simple.
You can read the rest, including his tips and tricks for overcoming this at:http://argville.com/shyness/0 -
I get it. I'm like this too. Unless I'm "working" where I feel like the networking will help on the job, I don't want to waste time being the outsider. Spending my free time pretending to like people and only making vague chit-chat seems like an immense waste of my time. I could be home on my couch snuggled up watching a movie, ya know?
EXACTLY !
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That's when I realized I'm not actually shy or uncomfortable with a stranger... I'm uncomfortable with GROUPS of strangers. I SO dislike being the 5th wheel or only knowing one person and starting to feel like a leech to hold on to them.
This is me too.
I don't go to work functions (such as holiday parties) because I hate the idea of not really knowing anyone there and having to chit-chat with everyone I vaguely know.
And I hate 3rd wheeling, 5th wheeling, etc. Nobody gets it when I say "I'd rather be alone."
I am in the military and have moved every few years and it is sometimes a pain in the butt. On the other hand, moving within the military you always have a baseline of familiarity everywhere you move.
But to talk directly to Christines post above...I have run into this specifically about the work function thing all the time. What works for me to the point I am not at all uncomfortable with any strangers and hopefully lessens the anxiety for you:
I look at it less as being a 3d wheel, instead that work function is my chance to get to know 1 person or 1 skill set that someone there has that I dont have. I hate work related functions, but I go and I go with a smile because every time I have managed to meet someone new, or learn something new about someone I dont know well at all etc. Do that enough times and it naturally rubs off on all sorts of other impromptu meetings, like passing someone in the grocery store and giving a smile and eye contact.0 -
SUPER SHY right here - xcant even look people in the eyes0
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I'm pretty shy but I've been working on it. Baby steps...0
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IronmanPanda, I love your icon. Browncoats forever!0
